//------------------------------//
// Fernando, Tom, Boulder, Bloomberg and Boneless... what am I even doing? 
// Story: Deadpool in Equestria 
// by MrAquino 
//------------------------------//

Deadpool sat next to Fernando, the straw Pinkie had in her mane that was part of her straw collection. Fernando was... it's a straw.
"A white, bendy straw!" Deadpool spoke. 
Why the hell are we even with a straw?
Becasue he's Fernando!
... It's a f**king straw!
"A straw with a name! And an old western, Mexican theme." 
...Yeah. And why are we next to a boulder, a pebble, a tree, and a rubber chicken?
They're our friends! There's Tom, Boulder, Bloomberg, and Boneless!
Didn't... boneless turn into a key?
"This is boneless #2! And it's pronounced 'Number 2', not 'Hashtag 2'."
I think they know, already.
Hey! There's always that girl on Twitter too much.
"Anyways... So! How are you guys, doing!? Fernando? How's Pinkie?... Really!? Strange! Did you know that, Bloomberg?... You do!?"
Okay, now this is getting out of hand.
No it isn't! We're having a philosophical discussion about the inevitability of life and death.
We're talking to things that don't even talk!
But isn't silence the best form of loudest?
That makes no sense!
"Hush! Both of you! Now, Boulder, your feeling on Maud? How's the Fant4stic's Thing doing? Is he still weeping over his missing d**k?... He died? Eh, no one's going to miss him, am I right, guys!? ... Heh! I knew you'd all agree! Bloomberg, I know this will sound weird, but is Braeburn gay? ... Oh, he's just flamboyant? I guess that's why he yells Appaloosa all the time. Care for some tea?" He quickly teleported away and came back with warm tea for the 'party'. He idly sipped his. "Ah, nice, warm, relaxing tea. You know my movie's almost out, right guys?"
You and the author have been all over it.
"True, but that's because we're FINALLY getting the treatment we deserve! Plus, a sequel and an X-Force film? One that I'm sure we're going to kick hard in both DC's and Suicide Squad's balls in? Count me in. F**k that Jarred Leto Joker, but I'll go out with that Harley Quin. Raow!!!"
Amen, brother!
F**king pigs.
Like you haven't seen any hot chicks before.
I have, but I'm never that thirsty.
"Speaking of which! Fernando, this is weird, but... does Pinkie have a ... you know... thing for me? ... Only for Cheese Sandwich? Well... I shouldn't be too surprised since they sang together. Such a lovely couple, those two. ...What do you mean, Boulder!? Of course I'm proud of them! They're going to have the best kids with highly functioning ADHD, like me! ... Well of course I'm going enjoy being with them. I'm great with kids! I'm just not family-friendly, that's all."
No kidding.
"What was that, Tom? ... How's Rarity doing? She's fine and all,she's-what? ... I think she's single. ... Perhaps later, but please, don't turn into some guy I meet at the creepo depot store that one time. ...Yes, trust me on it, Tom. Man, you five guys are awesome! Why haven't you said anything, Boneless? ... Oh, shy one, aren't you? Well, what was it like being with Cheese Sandwich?... Exciting? All those parties you go to seem fun, eh?... He goes to those parties!? Strange, tell me, as you-?"
Alright, F**k it! MrAquino's going to the midnight premier!!!



"What!?" 
Oh sh- 
"YOU BAST-" 
END OF CHAPTER!!!