Cauterium blinked. There, standing in the ancient temple’s doorway, were three ponies: the Doc, Azure, and Tesla. For a brief moment, Cau’s mind went blank.
“Damn, that vorked. And all my organs are in place... I think,” Tesla remarked, running a hoof through his mane.
“I told you so,” Doc replied. Azure beamed a smile at Tesla.
Slowly, like sunflowers turning to the sun, everypony’s attention was drawn to the newcomers. “Say what?” Claude asked to nopony in particular.
“Oi!” Gear barked. “We were having a musical over-hey, wait! Aren't you those guys offering the bounty in the first place?”
“Dzere is a bounty on moi ‘ead?” Narc said in a dry tone.
“Hey... hey, yeah!” Gilda said. “What are they doing here? This is my-”
“Our,” Gear intoned.
“-our prey!”
“Oh, ahhhhhh! Now I see!” Gear said in an ‘ah ha’ tone. “This all makes perfect sense.” Everypony turned to look at Gear, who shrugged. “They came in a teleportation beacon... judging by where they are, so far from the actual beacon, it’s a wonder they didn’t materialised in a wall or the floor.”
“I repeat: say what?” Claude intoned.
Gear sighed. “Hey, Gilda. Remember when the blue.... Uh, what’s the word I’m looking for... Tip of my tongue... Mädchen... Girl! Yes, you remember that blue girl, the one standing over there, who sneezed earlier.”
Gilda scratched at the side of her head. “Uh, I dunno. I guess.”
“She put a spy device/teleportation beacon in your left wing when she did that.”
“Wait, what?” Gilda scoffed, running a talon through her wing.
“Other left, Gilda.”
“Hey-what the‽” She pulled out a small black diskette about the size of a poker chip. “You saw this?”
Gear put a hoof to his goggles, pulling them down slightly. “I may wear goggles, but I’m not blind.” He slid them back over his eyes. “I see everything.”
“Well, looks like we arrived just in time,” the Doc said in an authoritative voice. “Listen here: as of 0900 hours, this entire operations is once more brought under the control the Cherchen. That includes this bounty hunting mission. Their heads are now ours to collect. Any failure on the part of any mercs to comply with result in immediate termination on the grounds of high treason against the crown.”
“What‽” Gilda screeched.
“High authority of the crown?” Tesla whispered.
“Shut it. I’m bluffing,” Doc mumbled back. He cleared his throat. “Now calm down, missie. This operation is now ours. But you are not excluded. And indeed, for helping us, you receive a finder’s fee.”
Gilda’s eyes lit up like Hearth Warming morning. “Ooh, that solves everything. Wait, how much are we talking about?”
“A sum equal to or perhaps slightly greater than the amount specified in the warrant.”
“I’m cool with that.”
Gear put a hoof to his jaw, mumbling, “Though I am curious.” Spreading his wings, he made a mad dash for Gilda. Snatching the teleporting beacon from Gilda, saying, “How did you make on so small? Zu klein... Er könnte etwas größer sein.”
“What?” Azure said.
Turning over the device in his hoof and examining every facet of it, he remarked, “The craftsmareship is of the highest quality.”
“Maybe this is the perfect time to exit stage left?” Crimson whispered to Cauterium. “I’m all for a fight. But these guys look serious. I ain’t exactly in the mood to fight unless we have the field advantage.”
Caut shot Crimson a sideways glance. “Since when have you been a tactician?”
“Dude, I got in ‘A’ is history class. Stuff’s easy. I read Sun Tzu.”
“Huh?”
“So, milady, what's your name?” Gear asked Azure.
“Uh, Azure Knowledge.”
“This might be a tad bit fast, but judging by your handiwork... Would you marry me?”
“What-what?”
Claude yawned. “Got anything to add, sugar boy?”
Narc shook his head. “No. Moi was having fun with the song and then by watching this.”
“Kay. This is kinda borin’ me. I’mma rest my eyes. Wake me when they stop blabberin’ and get to fightin’.
“Gotcha, beau.” Claude crossed his forelegs over the back of a pew, resting his head upon the middle of his arms.
“So, are ve going to be fighting or...” Tesla prompted.
“Ah, yez, of courze,” Azure remarked. “We can talk about that later, mercenary. But az for now, would you kindly join in in apprehending theze criminalz?”
“For you?” Gear replied. “Anything.”
“Get a grip, Casanova,” Gilda said with a roll of her eyes.
The Doc turned his attention to Cauterium, who was just standing there and observing the exchange with barely concealed interested. “Ya know, if ‘n you’re going for the ‘aloof bad guy’ look, you’re doing it wrong.”
“Is the fight startin’?” Claude prodded.
“No, beau. Go back to sleep.”
“Kay.”
“I’m bored,” Crimson whinnied.
“Hello, Bored. Nice to meet. Mon name ees Narcissus. ‘Ave you seen mon ami, Crimson Dzunder?”
“Ha, ha,” Crimson dryly replied.
Cauterium facehoofed. “We are so gonna have a bad time.”
Gear shot up a combat stance, matching Gilda’s stance as though he were a mirror of her. “I’m ready. Gilda?”
“Ditto, dweeb.”
Claude raised his head from the pew. “S’it time?”
“Ya, beau. Et ees time.”
“Dandy,” Claude murmured as he pulled out of the pew and into the aisle.
“You know, it the time it took for us to get this far,” Doc remarked, “you fools could’ve outrun us a hundred times.
A bloom of sweat burst on the stone below Cau as he glanced around. His eyes finally settled on an object looming in the upper rafters of the temple. He beamed. “Well, I’ve been wanting to try something new out. Éna astéri.” The ceiling rumbled as if an earthquake were rattling the whole foundation. His horn glowing with an emerald glaze, a large, steel star-like object the size of a door fell from the ceiling. Wrapped in Cau’s magic aura, the star halted it fall just above Cauterium. “Give your soul to me... for eternity. I’ll consume it regardless. Oh, and mind the mess.”
“What?” Claude deadpanned.
“If ‘e begins to sing, moi will kill ‘imself.”
“That's kinda dark, Narc.”
“No, Claude, et ees not. You don’t want to know many songs moi ‘as gone dzrough in dzese past few days. Cau honestly dzings ‘e’s a singer.” Dropping his voice to a clandestine whisper, he continued with, “‘E can’t sing for ‘is life.”
“I heard that!” Cau snapped, nearly losing control of his star.
“Moi knows. Moi wanted you to hear. Dzis ees an intervention. Moi ees helping you, beau.”
Cauterium grumbled under his breath, “I hate everypony.”
“And moi heard dzat. And dza ees a blatant lie.”
“And what, pray tell, is that thing?” Doc dryly inquired.
Cau smirked. “Just a little you I’ve been working on for just such an occasion.”
“Moi does not remember such a dzing,” Narc mumbled under his breath.
“So... he’s bluffin’?” Claude prodded, his voice barely audible even to Narc.
“Hard to say. ‘E is crafty; I wouldn’t put it past ‘im, but I would not be so quick to call ‘is bluff.”
A piece of the star chipped off of its own accord. “Uh, I meant to do that,” Cau said.
“Right,” Claude deadpanned.
“Gentlecolts... BEHOLD!” Cau proclaimed.
“Uh, you can’t say that unless it’s the first reveal. But I’ll humor ya. What is it, anyways?” Doc probed.
“It is... THE THING!”
“The thing?”
“The Thing!”
Doc rolled his eyes. “You know, Cau, I’m not a mental moron. That’s clearly just some old junk you pulled out of the ceiling.”
“Haha! You fools! It is a marvel of modern science! A device with its own chameleon spell, if only to hide its awesome might from naysayers!”
“Yeah-no... Go fish, Cauterium.” Azure giggled.
“Yeah, so, vit that... vell... Can we fight now?” Tesla prompted, tugging at his color. “I brought my special suit and everything.” Indeed, looking at his outfit revealed a suit very different from his compatriots. Tesla was clad in a navy blue uniform with a matching peaked cap on his head. “I got myself dolled up and stuff.”
“Wow, this is really long and drawn out – which sucks,” Gear opined.
“Tell me about it,” Gilda chimed.
“The Thing will do your doom!” Cau insisted.
“No, you,” Tesla retorted, horn arcing with lightning.
Cau’s star began to surge with emerald flames. The flames arced and swirled about like a hurricane without an eye. “Centlegolts-wait, on. Gentlecolts-”
“‘Ow did ‘e get dzat wrong?”
“-BEHOLD!”
“Azure, check that thing for power signatures.”
“Zure thing, bozz.” Azure’s horn light us, as did her irises, as he stared at the star. “By Celeztia!”
“What?”
“The power level is... OVER FOUR!”
Tesla’s eyes widened to the size of tarantulas. “WHAT‽ FOUR‽ That’s at least three more than one!”
Doc blinked. “We’re all doomed.” The corners of his strained not to break out into a huge smile.
Cau blinked, a bead of sweating rolling down his cheek. “Yes! Four! A powerful number indeed!” The star began to jostled in the air. “Behold-”
“Stop saying that, dude. It’s old,” Crimson chided.
“What, is four bad? Sounds pretty low to me,” Gilda added.
Gear elbowed Gilda. “Just roll with it.”
“Fine.”
“I’ll give you all a chance to just back away,” Cau growled.
“Really, Cauterium?” Doc scoffed.
“Yes. I know you can’t win. And I don’t see a point in mauling you for no good reason.”
“You’re the worst villain ever.”
“I’ll have you know I’m indestructible.”
“Oh?”
“Determination that is incorruptible. From the other side, a terror to behold. Annihilation will be unavoidable. When you’re broke and alone, you’ll know that your opponent was invincible.”
“Yeah, I’m gonna rest mah eyes ‘till they’re done talking,” Claude mumbled.
“Ditto,” Crimson chimed.
“Moi will wake you. Moi will wake you. Dzough, don’t you want to at least sit down?”
“Nah. I’ll sleep standin’.”
“Regardless, I carry out my orders without regret,” Doc replied.
“Take a last look around while you’re alive; I’m an indestructible master of war.”
“Yeah, you’re not fooling anypony.... And I swear to Celestia, if you break out into a song, I will kill you.”
“You don’t seem to understand that you’re the bad guys here. I’m the good guy!”
“Good guys don’t do what you do, Cauterium.”
“Life is a hard thing to describe. But let me sum it yours up for you: you’re going to lose, and we, the good guys, are going to win.”
“You’re the bad guy, Cau. Get it through your thick head. No matter how you justify yourself, you’re the stallion who does the evil here. We were sent by Her Majesty to stop you. The sun herself deems you the bad guy. I don’t know ‘bout you, but I trust the sun. No matter how you justify yourself, Cau, we’ll remember you as just another crazy.”
Cauterium took a deep breath. “I do this for two reasons: because I must and because I can. Yet of these two forces the second in the greater; I do this because I choose to.”
“You’re a Templar at best, Cauterium,” Doc chided. “That or you’re deluded. Probably both. Irregardless of whatever imaginary threat you fight, we will stop you.”
“Then so be it.” A pause. “Hey, boys,” Cau whispered to each of his compatriots. “When I use The Thing, you guys charge out and grab somepony and engaged in a melee. Kay?”
“Thought ya’d never ask,” Claude replied, rousing his eyes open. “That griffon looks tough. It’s mine.”
“Moi calls Azure. She’s a total bi-”
“I got the Tesla dude. Lightning and all that stuff.”
“Okay, we got our targets. I’ll go for Doc. Ready. On the count of three... One... Two... Three!” With a supernatural speed, Cau’s star jerked forwards towards the door. The hiss as it tore through the air was deafening. Tesla and Azure rolled out of the way. But the Doc, giant he was, was a little less-than graceful as he just stood there.
“Bugger me,” Doc mumbled. The star impacted him with the force of a freight train, the wooden object shattering into a million splinters, which then found homes under the Doc’s skin. Doc was sent flying into a stone wall, bashing his skull against the ancient masonry.
And just as quickly as the Doc was lying on floor, so do has Cau’s gang entered the fray of combat. Each going to his predetermined target.
Gear rolled his eyes. “Soooo you’re ‘invention’ was literally to throw a piece of wooden debris at somepony? Bravo. Just bravo. Oh, and Gilda? A ‘four’ on the power scale is laughable... because there's no such thing as a ‘spell power scale’.”
***
Five seconds after initiation of combat.
“Get off me, you pig!” Azure barked.
“Owwwww… Eh, sorry, mademoiselle. Moi did not see dzat hole in dze floor. ”
“I ZAID GET OFF ME!” Jerking a leg, she snapped it at Narc, pushing her away from him.
“Oi! Moi is the victim here; moi mane is all... dirty.” He glanced around his dark enclosure. “Geat. Dze floor fell in. Welcome to dze basment, Azure.”
“You dragged me into a bottomlezz pit!”
Narc rolled his eyes, rousing himself to his hooves. “Moi is no happier.” A trickle of dust and dirt fell onto his shoulder, prompting him to jerk about in an effort to clean himself.
“There’z no way out but through the damn roof!”
Narc rolled his shoulders. “Dzis place ees a mouse trap. Dzer is no way out. Like gladiators or highlanders, dzere can be only one.”
“I get gladiators, but-”
“From a book Cau had moi read,” he said with a dismissive wave of a hoof. “Mon point ees dzat we will have to kill each other – okay, probably just beat one another senseless.” He ran a hoof through his mane. “And moi knows moi will be victorious.”
Azure smeared a cocky grin over her muzzle. “Hmm, perhapz. But I know I will win. You’re a wuzz, Narcizzuz
“Ah, now you insult moi. And moi is a Frenchpony, a Gascogne no less. In dze name of Cyrano de Bergerac, mon papa and a great lyricist, I attack you!”
“You’re a zizzy, Narc.”
“Dzat ees it? Dzat’s all you have to unsult moi with? Do you know ‘ow many enemies moi has made dzat actively seek mon death?”
“Well, no-
“Forty-eight, not counting mares. And yet, you do not even have dze skill to be original in your insults?”
“You’re a huge drama queen.”
“Oh, no, no, no, no!” He jumped to the left. “Friendly: Why, mon good sir, you are such an elegant fop. Why don’t we go out shopping togezer, moi is sure we’d have a similar taste.”
“What?” Azure deadpanned.
“Dzis are the dzings you couldn't have said if you weren’t as bright as dze darkest depths of a rabbit’s ‘ole. Descriptive: Dze way you walk, dze way you talk, dze you run... from as little as dirt. Curious: Excusez-moi, good lady, would you care for a dance-oh, you are a stallion. My apologies. Gracious: Oh, mon fair lady, dzine elegant curves, dzy supple. Oh, wait. You, too, are a stallion.” He jumped backwards. “Solicitous: Be careful where you go, good sir, lest ponies mistake you for dze perfume aisle. Dzoughtful: Here, allow me to put my coat down, miss. Moi would not want you to... Oh, again, dze lady is a stallion. Pedantic: Only the animal dzat Aristophanes himself calls the ‘hippocampelphantocamelos’ could have such a profound odor as yourself.”
Azure, rolling her eyes, began to slowly prod through her bags for the ideal device, unaware that Narc was improvising in order to buy time for himself to do much the same thing.
“Admiring: What a poster child for a walking perfume shop! Naïve: May moi sample some of your perfumes? Respectful: One whiff of you, good sir, and moi can tell you are indeed a stallion of substance. Military: Dze enemy is using poison gas! Ready your masks! Practical: Moi imagines your flowery scent is a major boon for ‘oney bees and dzere production. Dzere! Now you have an inkling of what you might ‘ave said to moi if were witty and a mare of letters. Unfortunately you are totally witless. And you only have three letters in your vocabulary: A-S-S... ass.”
“You are just a barbarian! A gentlecolt would never inzult a lady!”
“Moi is a gentlecolt. Moi does not dress like a fop, dzat is true, but mon sense of fashion and charm are otherwise impeccable. Moi is always immaculately clean, in both physical and mental senses. Moi may not ‘ave been born wiz a stylish figure, true, but moi holds ees soul erect. Moi wears mon deeds as ribbon, mon wit is sharper than any dagger, and when moi walks amongst mares ‘e makes dze faints and awes ring out like a chorus.”
Azure smirked as she pulled out a metal device. “Uh, uh, uh, mademoiselle,” Narc said. “Dzis is one time when dze lady does not go first.” Without much of a warning, a pink vial exploded on Azure’s breast. Immediately, a coil of pink smoke coiled around her body, digging into her pores and nose.
“Wha-wha-what,” Azure stammered.
Narc frowned. “Damn. Wrong one.”
Azure came to stare at Narc as though she were a cat and he a mouse. Her pupils rolled into her head, replaced by bright pink hearts. She smiled at him, a bright blush forming over her cheeks as a drip of drool lolled out of her mouth.
“Huh... Cau was right. Moi does overdo it. Damn overdose...” The concoction continued to wrack Azure’s insides, pushing her libido into super-overdrive. She began to stumble towards him like a zombie. Narc pulled out a blue vial. “Sorry, mademoiselle. Moi is not currently in dze market for a mate.” With a flourish, he threw the position in her face. It shattered, cutting her cheek slightly as a blue powder consumed her sinuses. The hearts in her eyes rolled into her skull as she collapsed to the ground. “Sleep potion. Keen.” Narc glanced to the hole in the ceiling. “Well, dzis could be somzing of a problem.”
***
Five seconds after initiation of combat.
With the guile of a hawk, Crimson eyed Tesla. Wings flared for action, Crimson semi-squatted down, beating his head to an invisible beat. A whip of lightning cracked around Tesla, whose expression betrayed nothing of his tumultuous feelings.
The dust settled around them as they found themselves having fallen through the floor, though into a different room than Narc and Azure’s.
“Seems like it’s you and me, hoss,” Crimson remarked, dusting himself.
Tesla pounded his hard stare upon his opponent. “Tell me: can you see the angels?” He took a step to the right, which Crimson mirrored by stepping to his own right.
“I’m not a good pony,” Crimson calmly replied.
Tesla smirked. “Those aren't the angels I speak of.”
Crimson frowned. “Angels means: a good pony. I don’t see what else you could mean, old stallion.”
The ‘old stallion’ smirked. “Vhat drives you Crimson? Ve researched you; got your background information. And that’s something that I could never get about you.”
Crimson affixed Tesla with a distant look. “I once asked: ‘May I live without limitation’? They told me: ‘No, you may not’. I couldn’t live like that; to be a caged bird is not in my destiny.”
The crackles of magical power continued to swirling about Tesla as he continued to power his spell. “And you act so nonchalant. So arrogant.”
Throwing his head back, Crimson laughed. “Is it arrogance if it’s true‽ Is it arrogance if even the Princesses fear my prowess‽ Is it arrogance when you truly are better than everypony else‽”
“That’s vhat ve call ‘narcissism’, you idiot!”
“A narcissist? We already got a dude with that title – at least in name. Me? No. I just know I’m better. I don’t go out of my to show off. I just know that I am because, on a consistent basis, I’m just better. I. Am Better.”
“A textbook example; you can’t tell the difference between your own perceptions and the real world.”
Crimson blinked hard. “Narcissism. According to the Canterlot Journal of Psychological Conditions: ‘It is a personality disorder where the individual is excessively preoccupied with matters of personal adequacy, power, prestige, and vanity’. I have none of these.”
“Yes, vell,” Tesla chuckled, “you’re villing to defend your self image despite it being a bad choice.” A bolt of lightning tore through the air, burning the oxygen into ozone as it careened at Crimson. The pegasus simply shrugged as he jerked wing out in front of him as though it would actually be fast enough to help him.
To his own chagrin, Crimson could never match a bolt of thunder in speed, though. And just as the bolt would have hit his head, likely killing or severely wounded him, the bolt arced right and into his wing. It merely ruffled his feathers.
“VHAT‽” Tesla barked.
After a yawn, Crimson replied, “Let’s play a little game, old stallion.”
“SUKIN SYN! KAK‽”
“Ya see, there’s a lot a pegasus can do. A lot indeed.” He extended a wing. Taking the unfurled wing, he violently scraped its edge against the archaic stone floor, whipping up a charge of lightning that then ran through his feathers. He bent the wing further, passing it over his face as though it were a paper fan, which was then followed by contrail-like charges of pure electricity.
“Twoyu mat... THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE!”
“Is it?” Crimson cooly replied, cocking a long brow as he scraped his uncharged wing against the ground.
“YES! It took me years to master my lightning spell! Probably more years than you are old!” Thunder now arcing through his feather, he shrugged. At his action, the electrically exploded, becoming a crimson hue. “TWOYU MAT’!”
With a bored, ‘I’ve done this a thousand times already’ expression, Crimson eyed Tesla. “High up in the sky, there are things we do not understand. We don't know how exactly lightning even forms. There are phenomena that only .1% of ponies have even seen – whether stuff that ponies don’t pause.”
“What‽”
“See, they I have two favorites: ball lightning and sprites. Sprites are a crimson weather effect that happens in the mesosphere. I risked my own death to study them, and to learn their power. It is light lightning, and it fit so perfectly with my namesake.” He grinned.
“How.... THa’ts impossible! You couldn’t have flown into the mesosphere!”
“BOh but I have. And I’m going to show you the power of one who studies weather in order to dominate it. It sprite touched me, imbuing me with its feel. And as it shot me to the ground, shot me many, many miles to the ground, but I was caught in a blue jet – another phenomenon. It was then that I knew my destiny, from there that I gained my cutie mark: I am to control that weather which we do not comprehend. I am to be the storm’s eternal vigil. I, Crimson Thunder, am to be better than everypony because the sky chose me to be its warden. And I will be her guardian, her emissary, and her instrument of war!”
Crimson twisted his right hoof back over his shoulder, his wings wrapping around it and rubbing. He kept rubbing his wings over his arm, charging the forelimb with static electricity. The rumbling hiss of thunder erupted from his limb as it was encased in a flowing ball of crimson lighting. “My. Name. Is. Crimson Thunder. And I. Am. Thunder. Incarnate.” He fluttered into the air, his entire body coursing with crimson thunder.
Tesla’s horn broke out in a spurge of of burning plasma excited by charged air particles. The electrical bout of flames caressed over his body, encasing him in a whirling mass of silent lightning. “Then I am thus sound the dirge of the thunder incarnate.”
In a dash of purest energy, Crimson charged Tesla, his right forehooves curled back to punch the unicorn. Bellowing a battle cry, Tesla lowered his head and made to ram Crimson. The flashes blinding them, they collided in thunderous display of sparks – or they would have if not for the fact that, as they neared each other, the explosion knocked them both backwards.
“Whoreson!” Tesla gasped, wisps of smoke trailing his body.
Crimson, too, found himself sprawled on his back. With his characteristic speed, he jumped to his hooves, though not before putting a forehoof to his chin. “Hmm... That’s never happened before.”
“Likevise,” Tesla grunted, rousing himself to a stand.
“My powers can do a lot. Including stunning the part of the brain that perceives perception – did that on Rainbow Dash. Stupid braud probably thinks I’m faster than sunlight. But... I think I know what happened.”
“Vhat?”
“How do you charge up your magic?”
“I... I don’t know. I just do. It’s a unicorn thing. If ve understood it, ve vouldn't be calling it ‘magic’.”
“Hmm... I charge mine via a negative charge – I find them easier to control... The air here is pulsating with negative ions, hardly any positive ones... Which means that both of us use our charges negatively... Which means that our charges repel.” He frowned. “Which means that, no matter how we fight, it’ll end in a draw ‘cause neither of us can touch the other. Which means that-” he flared his wings, diving into the sky, towards the hole in the ceiling “-that this is now officially boring.”
“Vhat‽ You’re just leaving me here‽”
“Yep! I’mma go watch Cau fight. I stashed some popcorn somewhere-” His voice became unintelligible as he flew into the temples’ rafters.
Tesla just stared up at the hole in the roof. “Well... Fu-”
***
Five seconds after the initiation of combat.
As the last bits of dust settled, the floor began to creak beneath Claude. Having already fallen through the floor into a dim room, he wasn’t quite so eager to do it again. And the fact that he had fallen through with Gilda was only worse.
“I hate everything,” Claude growled as the floor beneath him gave way. Jerking a hoof forewards, he snared Gilda’s right hind leg, dragging her down with him.
“Get off me, dweeb!” Gilda snarled as Claude’s weight forced them through the floor.
With a resounding thud, either body landed, each having the wind kicked out of their lungs. Looking upwards, either body saw they were some two stories from the main area of the temple.
Gilda growled, “That’s it! I’m gonna tear your eyes out!”
Leaping to his hooves, Claude replied, “No ya won't... Are you a girl?”
“Yes!” she spat. “I’m a lady. I’ve got all... that stuff.”
Claude grunted. “Fightin’ ladies,” he mumbled. “Grandpa, you would not approve.”
“Speak up! I can't hear you!”
Grinding his teeth, he remarked, “Ya wanna fight me, then?”
“I’m gonna rip your face off!” True to her word, she slashed a particularly sharpened talon at Claude’s face. Yet Claude jerked his neck to the side, causing Gilda’s talon to miss by mere centimeters. The smoosh of her talon still dispersing the air, Claude jerked his head forward, headbutting her right in the chest.
Gilda, sharing her wings, used the force of his attack to propel herself backwards. Having little room to maneuver without risking flying in utter blackness, she flapped her wings as she made a beeline for Claude. With red in eye and want for red on claw, she once again swiped a talon at Claude once again. Waiting until the last possible second.
She only mostly missed, the tips of her middle-left talon gouged a deep furrowed below Claude’s left eye. She moved to spin around and attack him again, but Claude snapped his jaws around her tail, forcing her to the ground lest she risk tearing her tail off.
Having forced her to the ground, Claude laughed. “I underestimated ya, lass! Good. I like a good fight.” He put a hoof to the gash along his face. “Now see, that won’t due. Now I’ve gotta avenge myself. To bad yer a girl, or else I’d rip your wings off and choke you with them.”
“I’m a girl, you sexist! But that don’t mean I can’t kick any less ass!” She lunged at him, only for Claude to sock her in the neck. Gilda gasped, grabbing at her throat.
“Come again, operator?” Claude remarked.
“I’ll kill you!” she squawked, steadying her body from the blow.
“No ya won’t,” Claude replied, spinning around to buck her in the face.
Gilda thrust her whole body backwards, forcing herself into a tumble, though missing Claude’s attack. Barreling back at Claude, she slashed with her talons, one of which was stained maroon and aimed to stain its brothers in kind.
Physically throwing himself backwards, Claude almost shot out of Gilda’s reach. But almost is a definite word. And as Claude readied himself for another attack, streaks of crimson ran down his side.
The griffon smirked. “Well, how ‘bout that.”
Claude grunted. “Seems like we’ve got a long dance ahead ‘o us. Care to dance, gal?”
“You know it!”
***
Five seconds after initiation of combat.
Doctor Power Pill slow pulled himself from the floor, his body covered with dust and splinters. Cauterium put a hoof to his glasses, pushing them closer to his face. “Well, well, well, Doc. I guess you really are a glutton for punishment.” As he finally brought himself to a stand, Doc’s left foreknee gave in, collapsing back to the ground. “Ooh! Did I break your knee! Sweet!”
“Oi, scientist-type guy,” Gear said.
“What?” Cau replied.
“I’m still here.”
“So?”
“Tag: fat guy’s out; Gear Grinder is in.”
“Not...fat,” Doc groaned. “And... if not for... fact that... lost medicine bag... during teleport...”
Gear galloped over to where Doc was, standing before him. Then, spinning 180°, he positioned himself to face Cauterium. “Really? You?” Cau chuckled.
The pegasus flared his wings as he took a step forwards, growling, “Tanz mit mir.”
Cau nickered. “Oh? I’m sorry, I don’t speak your barbaric tongue. And last I checked, your homeland-”
Gear jumped into the air, barreling for Cau before he could finish. “Laast uns tanzen!”