UNDERTALES OF FRIENDSHIP!
A collab series by NGrey651 and Misterebony
Today's Episode:
DerpTEMMination!
Temmie was crying in the rainy streets of Ponyville. What had just happened was absolutely horrible. The laughter, the teasing, the harsh words, it was too much for one Temmie to bear. Worse, her super deluxe ultra rare super delicious Temmie Flakes were now mushy in the mud, the catlike monster crying and shivering.
"Hey... you okay?" A kind voice said behind her. Temmie turned, and saw a sight that made her go wide eyed with uber cute happiness. The grey pegasus before her was about average size, gently flapping her wings, with seven bubbles for her flank tatoo, as Temmie called it. But the cuteness came from those eyes, one looking up, the other down, making her look so huggabale combined with thta Frisky Fun smile.
She called it that because it reminded her of Uber cute and snuggly hoooooooooooooman Frisk, such a CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTE!
But, she remembered what happened, and sobbed again. "Tem.... sad, so 1 lik Teme, cuz Teme tak werd."
The pony sat beside Temmie, offering her an umbrella, making the Temmie blink happily. "I know what you mean. Ponies pick on me all the time because of my derpiness. They even call me Derpy. My full name is actually Dizty Do Derpy Hooves."
Temmie smiled widely from ear to ear. Literally. "Derp e? Such a cuuuuute nam! I'm Temmie!" Temmie hopped closer. "Derp not allergic to Tem, r u?"
Derpy smiled, hugging Temmie. "Nah, Just clumsy. Ask Twilight. I once dropped a piano on her." She tilted her head a bit. "Followed by a hay cart. Followed by an anvil."
Tem went wide eyed, anime style. "OWWWWWWOWOWOW! Dat mus hut!"
"It did. But she forgave me. And now I even can fly pretty good thanks to Rainbow Dash teaching me to adapt how I fly to my vision." She pointed a hoof at her crossed eyes. "For a long time ponies thought I was retarded.... but these were just messing up my vision, making me clumsy. Some ponies still tease me about it, and I am not as bright as many others...but..."
Before she said another word, a rather annoying, nasaly voice was heard. "Oh isn't THIS rich! Looks like the Temfem found a fweeeeend." The two groaned as they saw a monster shaped like a ufo, with two eyes on the sides, a big ugly nose, and a small, mocking smile under an M shaped mustache.
Jerry.
And with him were several of the local bullies, a group of ponies who basically caused trouble for everyone. During the date bidding not long ago, they made a point of making obscene cat calls to Rainbow Dash, and shortly after the monsters came they were some of the first to rail against Muffet, saying she wanted to turn everyone into flies with her evil pastries, and eat them.
Admittedly that was partially true, but she only did that to parasprites because they were both delicious and cuddly.
"Wow, retards really DO attract."
"Man, you see her eyes?"
"I bet she can't even see us!"
"And I heard yesterday she tried to deliver the princesses's mail to Big Macintosh!"
"Big Mac? I heard she almost started a war by delivering a sex note to Queen Chrysalis!"
Temmie growled, and with one paw that got VERY long, successfully slapping every last one of them, only too late realizing her mistake.
"OOOOOOOOOO... I've been temmied! Now I am gonna have... Hoives!"
Temmie began to sob, bolting. Derpy snorted and growled at the laughing bullies. "You all oughta be ashamed of yourselves!"
Jerry snickered. "You oughta be ashamed of those eyes! I mean, are you looking up or down? Oh wait, it's BOTH!"
Derpy gritted her teeth. With a mighty whinney, she charged Jerry, knocking him down. The two were brawling as Twilight and several guards, including Papyrus, broke it up.
The look on the faces of the guards meant there would be a lot of trouble.
***
"And after what Jerry said, I didn't know what else to do hon! WHat kind of monster is that monster? He is such a.....a....."
"Monster?" Doctor Whooves said, working on his steam powered inventions while he and Derpy talked. The two had married some time before, despite obvious differences (Or perhaps because of them). Now they lived in a quaint cottage in Ponyville, where Derpy spent a lot of time baking muffins to go with the money she maid as a professional mailmare, while the Doctor worked as both a medical practitioner and a fringe scientist.
"Yeah, monster." Derpy whimpered some. "I hate Jerry."
The Doctor peeked out from under his latest work, the Steamy Dreamy 3000, meant to use a gentle steaming mist to help ponies sleep when it is too cold. "Dear, that is still no reason for assult and battery. And Jerry wound up with those bits with you paying out the nose because he had his gang as witnesses. He played you like he tried to play Temmie."
"Ohmygosh! Temmie! I forgot all about her... poor thing, she is so cute and kiind, and those creeps had no right to-"
"Dear." The Doc came over to her and nuzzled. "Think about this logically. Temmie is a very unlogical creature. Now if I were her, where would be the last place I would wanna go after being insulted?"
Derpy pondered, thinking mostly of muffins. Sweet, delicious muffins, with fresh raisins in them, and that home grown oatmeal from Sweet Apple Acres...
"Ummm.... the bakery?"
The Doc hmmmed. "Unlikely.... out of the way....very unusual..... yes, I do believe you are right love!"
Derpy blushed. "Well... I'l be honest, I was kinda asking if we could go there, all this made me kinda hungry." She made a little shy blush, the Doctor chuckling.
"Why not. I need a break and you need a pick me up. Then we can figure out what to do about Temmie."
Derpy hmmmed. "Maybe she is like me? Maybe she just needs to find what she is good at. Something that is just her?"
The two nodded, waking out of the home, humming a gentle tune (Ironically to the music of Temmie Village)
What talent does a Temmie have?
What skill, does a temmie show?
What job, can a Temmie do?
I admit, I really just don't know.
Can they sing? Dance? Love? Romance?
Run? Play? Sleep all day?
Do they cook? Cuddle? Solve puzzles?
Do they laugh? Sing? Do anything?
Sew? Sell? Ask? Tell?
Kiss? Hug? Comfort? Bug?
I'll tell you...
It's all of the above!
What power, does a Tem possess?
What things, does a Temmie need?
What hope, does a Temmie have?
What is, their eternal creed.
Can they sing? Dance? Love? Romance?
Run? Play? Sleep all day?
Do they cook? Cuddle? Solve puzzles?
Do they laugh? Sing? Do anything?
Sew? Sell? Ask? Tell?
Kiss? Hug? Comfort? Bug?
I'll tell you...
It's all of the above!
That's what a temmie does!
Just like me and you!
That's who and what a temmie is!
And I assure you, it is all true!
Tem...Tem
Tem... Tem
Tem...Tem
Tem...
"TEM!"Derpy said in shock as she walked in. As she had guessed, unintentionally, there was Temmie, trying to hide in Muffet's Spider Batter, several spiders tryng not to laugh at the cuteness. Muffet herself had her four arms crossed.
"Look, I have no orders for a Temmie Cake...yet." Muffet added under her breath. "And I highly doubt the Cakes, speaking of which, will approve of you hiding in my cake batter."
"Tem not lik even az foob. Tem worth 0."
Derpy approached. "That's not true! You're just different is all, and different means you have different ways, like me."
Muffet nodded. "Derpy is right. You remember what I was like when I first came here, how I was ridiculed because I used spiders in my pastries?"
Nearby, a pair of changeling girls were being tickled inside and out by said spiders. "Yeah, then you found out what we think of them, you doll!" One said, the other smiling and nodding.
"Or Huey! The monster kid with no arms? No one is making fun of him now!"
At the school, Diamond Tiara smiled as the high jumping Huey retrieved her crown from a tree after a crow took it, earning a kiss from the formerly snotty pony and cheers from the other kids.
"Or TWILIGHT?!" Muffet pointed out.
Temmie blinked in surprise. "Huh?"
Derpy nodded. "Yeah, before she became a princess a lot of people made fun of her bookworm nature. But now? Now she is the princess!"
Tem huddle din the batter. "But.... tem knot lik dat...."
Muffet petted the battered Temie with sprinkles. "Yes you are. You're friendly and kind, and everyone who needs a hug can count on you for one. You're the best friend anyone could ask for, and you make everyone laugh!"
Derpy nodded.
Temmie smiled a little. "But.... wha bot Jerr?"
Muffet growled. "JERRY. Now he is someone who IS worthless. No wonder all the good monsters ditch him. He not only has no friends, he does his best to alienate them."
Derpy was confused somewhat. "But why?"
Muffet sighed. "Bullies are often self hating. But if you ask me, Jerry is a rare breed, deary. He bullies just because that is who he is. He hates friendship and hates others, he'd rather be alone yet loves to annoy others, it is like my spider doughnuts are to those changelings in his mind."
Derpy growled. "Man, even Discord has friends, how can Jerry go out of his way to ruin friendship and be happy about it?"
Muffet leaned close to the two. "Because he is... well... JERRY."
***
As the duo of Derpy and Temmie left the bakery, they saw Jerry waiting there, bulies beside him. He snickered some as he watched the two walk out.
"Well well, the cross eyed mule and the low eyed pike return! I wonder if they have any.... derptemmination?! *Snicker*
Ok, that's it. Buck this, I'm done.
"Huh?"
Everyone... let's ditch this guy. He is so annoying and wrong and even I as the writer am sick of him.
Temmie smiled. "Dat goooooo idee! Tem flakes any 1?"
Derpy smiled. "Maybe we can try some Temmie Flake muffins?"
Temmie was so excited she literrally lept 100 feet in the air with her paws still on the ground... and stayed at that height. "OOOOOO! Nomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnom! Lezzgo!" She said, wlaking with her new long l-
"HELLLLOOOOOOOO?! I wasn't done insulting them!"
*The entire story ditches Jerry. The world is better for it. After all, who likes a bully?*
...
...
...
...Back at Derpy's house, Derpy and Temmie worked on the TemMuffins, Temmie unintenionally believing that SHE was supposed to go in one and not the flakes, resulting in a couple dozen little fruity smelling Tem Muffins, and one giant one with Temmie in the middle, breathing out actual balls of happiness that smiled as they floated by.
"Tem lik muffen. Muffen so warm!"
Derpy smiled, playfully nomming a bite. "And tasty too!"
Everyone laughed, especialy Temmie, because she was with friends who loved her, and when you had that, then who cared what anyone else thought?"
"Cuz afta all.... Tem happy is best Tem!"
TEMMIEND!
JERRY: Where did everyone go? Oh come on guys! Where is everyone! Hello? Hellllllllllllllooooooooooo? *Snort* Fine,. this story is dumb anyway*
Jerry walked away. Thank goodness.
Classic Jerry.