//------------------------------// // That's Knife... Knife's A Bitch // Story: Daring Do and the Stigma of Fear // by Witchfinder General //------------------------------// Daring Do And The Stigma of Fear Chapter 4 That's Knife... Knife's A Bitch "Filthy, money rubbing scum of the earth. Dirty, vile caveponies with a 5th grade education. Unconscionable bastards. Sadistic, sacred whores. Celestia-damned Cowards..." "She has a fouler mouth than you do, Dash." Twilight whispered to the side of Daring's rant. "I don't have a foul mouth." Rainbow muttered back offended. "Do I?" Twilight stared at her. "Well... not as foul as Applejack." Rainbow countered. "That's true." While the two mares ribbed one another, Daring continued her string of insults, which were becoming loud enough for others aside from themselves to hear. "Not a party pony, Daring?" Dash jabbed with mirth. Daring was having none of it. "I don't mind the parties. It's these ponies I can't stand being around. Why can't I have party by myself?" "Because that would be an oxymoron, Daring." Said Twilight. Daring pushed the tail of her rental dress down further over her flank. She felt the needle-like feeling of other ponies staring at her. Unfortunately, the type of ponies Daring had hoped to see around her, such as the clean-cut gentleman or the stern but loving wife that would accompany them or be on the own by being the stern but loving filly about town, were few and far between. Instead the room was filled with older stallions. Stallions who reminded her of mobsters, drug lords, perverts, rapists and criminals who had gotten lucky. She thought she saw one looking at her flank, so she hiked the dress down further. "What are you looking at?!" She finally yelled at the stallion who was supposedly staring at her. He flinched at her sharp tone and walked away. "Daring--" "Yeah, yeah. I know. Sorry." She sighed heavily. "I need a drink." "A glass of water?" Twilight offered. "No." "At least use a glass!" "Doesn't work as well that way. I really wanna feel the effects." She took another gargantuan sip from the bottle of Dos Equestis. The liquid burned her throat as if she were drinking bleach, but she felt the effects on impact. Her head became lost in a fog that became denser with every sip, and her thought processing became impaired little by little. "Oh, yeah. We're cooking now!" She looked at the annoyed Twilight, flashing a cheeky grin. "I can tell 'cause you're a little sexier than you were before." Twilight remained steadfast. "Thanks for the compliment, but you're not the first pony to hit on me while they were drunk." "I'm not?" "Nope. When me and my friends go out for a drink, I'm the one that has to make sure they get home safely. It's a thankless job. I'm surrounded by drunk, horny ponies and I'm constantly hit on when they're not staring at my flank." "I hear you. I can't tell you how many stallions I've clocked, sometimes while just as drunk as they are." "I'm not talking about stallions. I'm talking about my friends. They're all mares." Daring let out a wheezing laugh. "It's not funny! You have no idea how difficult it is!" "Sounds like a riot. What's the problem?" "Well, first of all: Each of my friends are a different drunk." "They're all different?" "Each of them. Rainbow's a sad, brooding drunk." Daring made the expected reaction to the new information. "Believe me, I was just as surprised as you are. Let's see... Applejack is an angry drunk. If you knew her, you'd get why that would be a problem." "Is she a part of the Apple clan? I've met a couple of them. Honest, hard-working ponies built by the tough of the land." "That's Applejack. She's a nice and humble pony normally, but add alcohol and she becomes a big pony with a short fuse." "Sounds like my kind of mare. Who else?" "Well, there's Rarity. Actually, I don't think I've seen her drunk yet. She's really good at holding down her drink. She's high-class and elegant, even after a couple glasses of wine. She's probably the type of pony to listen to a song on the radio and say 'This song was written about me.' " "Is she from Canterlot?" Daring asked after a short interval of silence. "I don't know." "She sounds like someone from here. Canterlot ponies are naturally heavy-drinkers." "I'll ask her when I get the chance." Twilight waited as Daring took another sip from the bottle. "Does that include you?" "No, I'm from Cloudsdale. We're lightweights... no pun intended." Twilight chuckled lightly at the joke. "All right. There's Fluttershy. I thought earlier that we should test Fluttershy for social anxiety disorder. She's such a frail, delicate pony." "But when she's drunk?" Daring found herself awaiting the answer with anticipation, forgetting about her drink. "Dash likes to call her the Wicked Bitch of the West." Daring exploded with laughter, attracting a number of startled patrons. It took some effort for her to calm herself, all the while Twilight patiently waited. "Let's see, who else is there..." "Rainbow mentioned a Pinkie Pie and a Spike. What about them?" Daring remembered, the rogue giggle appearing occasionally. "I don't even want to think about Pinkie, who's unnerving enough when she's sober. We don't let Spike come with us to drink. He better not be getting drunk, otherwise he's gonna have his little butt spanked." "Don't let your coltfriend come with you to party with the mares?" "He's not my coltfriend. He's not even a colt, he's a dragon." "Daaamnnn." Daring dragged out. "No, I mean he's my assistant." "Ooo, sexy role-playing." "He's a baby dragon!" "Holy crap!" "Daring!" "Relax, I'm just messing with you. I know who he is, Rainbow told me last night." She took another sip, barely even realizing she did until she heard the bottle tap against the wooden bar. "Sorry, guess I'm starting to feel the effects of Dos Equestis." She waved the bottle around, almost hitting Twilight in the head. "Stay thirsty, my ponies!" She spoke is a poorly imitated accent, then broke into laughter. "So what about you?" she asked after calming down. "What?" "What kind of drunk are you?" "I'm rarely ever drunk." "But when you are?" "Rarity say I'm a... flyrty dru." Twilight mumbled. Daring wasn't sure if she heard it, or if her hearing was already being replaced with a buzz. "I'm sorry. I didn't get that." "A flirty drunk." Daring tried her best to stifle her laughter, but it seeped out little by little. "Wow, I never would've thought." "I'm not proud of it." Twilight tried to hide her blush. "Stallions or mares?" "Stallions. I hit on Applejack's brother one time. A bunch of other colts said I hit on them, too. I woke up one morning to find three stallions in my living room. That was not the best morning I've ever had." "Looks like Twilight brings all the colts to the yard." "What?" Although, Twilight had a good idea what she meant. "Twilight brings all the colts to the yard, and they're like: It's better than yours..." Daring sung and danced in her seat. "Shut up!" "Damn right! It's better than yours!" "I'm warning you!" "I'd teach you more, but I'd have to charge!" Twilight dropped her head into her hooves. Daring stopped singing and started laughing. Daring's laughter was quickly becoming the most irritating sound in Equestria for the purple unicorn. "Can I have some of that?" Twilight moaned past her hooves. Daring slid the bottle over to Twilight. She asked for a glass and filled it up when it arrived. She take a large sip that just about emptied the glass, something Daring was marginally impressed by. "You know, Twilight. I don't mean any of that stuff. I'm just having a hell of a time. I don't like parties, but this is quite possibly the most fun I've had in years." "Thanks, Daring. I'm glad you think so." She took another sip, feeling her embarrassment part way for a growing sense of humor. "I've never been a party mare, either." "Who'd want to be? Partying doesn't get you anywhere. Us bookworms gotta stick together. 'Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth' and all that nonsense." She swirled what was left of her drink in the bottle.. "Amen, sister." They high-hoofed each other and took more sips of their drinks. "Don't tell Pinkie that, though. And don't tell Rainbow about that colt-thing. She'd never let me live it down, provided she doesn't already know.." "Where is that pony anyway?" Daring looked around, not even realizing her vision was growing slightly blurred. "That's a very good question." Twilight said, looking around herself. "Hey, Daring!" A much too familiar voice yelled across the room. Daring jumped at the sound of her name being called and turned, spinning on the bar stool. She could barely making out the coming pony. Twilight could. "Hey, look it's Spit--" "Sweet Celestia! That pony's on fire!" She reached behind the bar, grabbing the first thing she felt, a spray nozzle likely filled with beer or some other type of alcohol, and aimed it at the blurry pony. "I'll save you!" She sprayed the nozzle. Normally she would know that any attempt to put someone on fire out with alcohol would have gone horribly wrong, but her brain failed to click at the moment and panic overran all her logical reasoning. "Daring, stop!" Twilight called, trying to break Daring's grip on the nozzle. She did, and the nozzle yanked itself back to the bar. "Daring, she's not on fire! It's Spitfire!" "What? You're serious?" Daring focused hard on the blurry pony, and sure enough, she could see Spitfire spitting out alcohol and moving her wet mane out of her eyes. Spitfire's glare was the one thing that was visible to Daring. "Oh, shit. Oh, Spitfire, I am so--" Daring was working on a valid-sounding explanation when she heard a rather raucous laughter. It took her foggy mind a few more seconds than normal to realize it came from the yellow pony in front of her. She felt a hoof slap her back. "Not exactly the welcome I expected." Daring then felt something she hadn't felt who knows how long: The embrace of another pony, this pony having the familiar feeling of her best marefriend. "It's been a long time. How've you been?" She pulled away, just as Daring was starting to enjoy it despite the heavy stench of alcohol. "I've been better." "Feeling glum?" "Feeling like I wanna curl up into a ball and die of embarrassment." "I wouldn't blame you." She put her hoof on Daring's shoulder, chuckling merrily. "Don't worry. I'm not gonna hold it against you. If you want, I'll call it revenge for the fountain incident." "I still kind of want to... curl up and die." "We have a drink for that back at our table." "Bless you." Daring walked, not even waiting for Spitfire to tell her where the table was. Spitfire turned to Twilight, she eyed the mare. "Let me guess: Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow's friend?" "That's right. Have you seen her, by the way? She just up and disappeared on us." "She's already at our table... gushing like a fan girl over us." "Surprise, surprise." There were only three other Wonderbolts at the table contrary to the much larger line up, and Dash sat in between a pony with sea-foam colored mane and and one with milky white eyes above buck teeth. Twilight wasn't as big a Wonderbolts fan as Rainbow, but she could tell there were some missing. "Couldn't wait, Rainbow?" Twilight poked at the cyan pegasus. "I was invited." Rainbow said, as-a-matter-of-fact tone. Twilight looked at Spitfire. The orange mare nodded. They all took their seats at the table. Daring sat in between Twilight and Spitfire, while Twilight sat nest to a deep blue-maned pegasus she recognized as Soarin'. "Daring, you already know the others. Twilight and Rainbow, these are two others of the eleven Wonderbolts. Misty..." she gestured to the sea-foam maned mare, who timidly wave back. "...and Fleetfoot." The wild white-maned pony wave, much more aggressively than the previous pony. She didn't make eye-contact. "It's nice to see you again, Daring. How's knife been treating you?" Asked the sea-foam colored maned pony, Misty. She had a soft, tender voice. "I'm… sorry?" "Your life. How's your life been treating you?" Daring paid no mind to her mishearing. She was drunk, she thought. She was bound she mishear something. "Fine. Just fine. No complaints." Daring's forced grin had to be obvious to the rest of the table, but no one decided to bring it up. A waiter stopped by and brought a bottle of red wine along with a tray of glasses that were frosted on the outside, evidenced of being in a freezer for a good amount of time. Spitfire dismissed the waiter saying they could pour the glasses themselves. She was the first to fill her glass, and she passed it counter-clockwise around the table. Daring was the last to get it. As she poured her glass, she thought back to when she drank all that whiskey. She probably would've drank herself stupid if Spitfire hadn't found her. She was likely still going to with the wine. She was never a big drinker prior of all of... this. She would settle for the occasional drink with friends, with some sort of celebration happening during it. Any other time, she would shy away from the stuff. I should stop all that poison can't be good for you. She felt light-headed for a slight second, but came out of it easily. She turned, jumping at somepony shaking her shoulder. "You alright, Dare?" Asked Spitfire. Daring shrugged her off. "Yeah, just a little dizzy. How've you been, lately?" Daring sharp conversation turn caught Spitfire off guard, but she happy to answer it. "I've been working to the bone lately. It's training season. Whole bunch of chicken-feet that think they can make the squad." "I'm sorry. 'Chicken-feet?' " Asked Twilight, not getting the arcane terminology. "Wonderbolt talk for a rookie." Replied Fleetfoot. "Most of them don't even last basic training." "It's a bit like being part of the royal guard for Celestia, Twilight." Daring filled in, being glad she finally had a use for the useless knowledge given to her by her foalhood friend. "They judge to see if you got enough feathers to make the team, then boot-camp. At least I assume it's like the royal guard. Is it?" "I wouldn't know." Said Twilight. Daring took her first sip, watching Twilight and Rainbow discuss something beyond her hearing. She ignored it. "Believe it or not, Daring had a good shot at being one." Said Spitfire, much to Daring's dismay. "Seriously?" Rainbow gasped. "I passed inspection and boot camp. I just didn't bother going on." "What made you decide against it?" asked Twilight. "Two things: I wanted to further my archeology career. I just can't see myself flying around doing show tricks while I could be digging up history. The second reason: those bucking uniforms." Laughter emitted around the table. "They chafe so much and make even the most anorexic mare look fat." The laughter grew drastically. Spitfire calmed down first. "I couldn't see you being a Wonderbolt anyways. You're not the most flamboyant mare when to entertainment... or anything for that matter." "What does that mean?" Asked Twilight. "Daring wasn't the most out-going pony when we were foals. She'd break in tears if she was surrounded by ponies she didn't know." Spitfire chuckled slightly, stopping when she met with the tan pony's glaring eyes. "Sorry." "So... you were always an antisocial pony." Daring caught the double-meaning behind that sentence, hidden from the rest of the table save for Rainbow Dash. "I stuck to myself in school, preferring the company of books. I always preferred to go on expeditions alone." "What about Herpy? Your cross-eyed assistant in the books?" Rainbow asked. "Made him up. I was reading a lot of Batmare at the time, and I just based him around my own life living with my grandfather." "You must've had a pretty lousy foalhood. You're downright nasty to Herpy sometimes. It was like that with your grandfather?" Daring groaned and took another drink. It was practically empty. "Life's a bitch. My grandfather was a class-5 bastard who didn't give two shits about anypony he couldn't profit off of. He's the one who planted the whole 'better off by yourself' idea into my head. 'Who needs friends when you got success?' he would say." She poured another glass of wine into her cup, chugging it down in one gulp. She passed to the bottle to Spitfire after she asked for it. "It's true." Said Spitfire, pouring her own glass. "I met him once. He was an old tyrant, stiff as bull during mating season and just as irritable. He didn't like me hanging around Daring because he felt I was... how'd he put it? 'Freeloading off our success?'" "Yeah. I'd have to sneak out just to see her. Being a teenager didn't help, either. He actually thought I was dating you! Remember that?" Spitfire laughed out loud. It sounded rather dainty considering the mare it came out of. "When the old bastard finally kicked the bucket, I didn't even bother going to the funeral. I just sent a card and inherited his millions." She took another drink from her glass, tracing the rim with her hoof. "I'm sure he'd be at least satisfied with the way my life's turned out. He'd probably say something to me if he could." "What would he say?" Asked Soarin'. "AHH! MY FLESH IS BURNING! HELP ME! OH, THE HORROR!" Daring laughed a drunken and jolly laugh, Spitfire right next to her doing the same. Soon everypony, save for Twilight, was laughing for no real reason. Twilight looked to her side to find Rainbow laughing and looking just as wasted as the rest of the table. The group laughter was loud and uproaring. Other ponies from other tables were staring. "Maybe this was a bad idea." Fancypants loved hosting these events, and that was obvious among his fellow aristocrats. His balls were famous around these parts of Canterlot for having a little piece of everything for the average party-goer.... except for somepony like Pinkie Pie. This was not the type of party for somepony like Pinkie Pie. He shuddered as his imagination ran wild of the chaos she could bring to these types of parties. After the feeling had passed, he focused on the tranquil joy and mirth that spread across the atmosphere. He was having none of it tonight. He was too busy being a wound-up bundle of nerves. All of those nerves were set around her former employee, Daring Do. "Fancypants..." A voice worn by years rasped out. He turned with sudden surprise at the sound of his benefactor standing in the shadows behind the curtains of the stage. "Yes, benefactor?" "Is she here?" He walked out from behind it, his wooden cane sounding off solid cops against the likewise wooden floor. He was an old and sickly pony, but power and authority radiated off him. He was the benefactor for Fancypants' company for nearly fifty years. "Yes. She's at table four with her friends and the Wonderbolts." "And the toxin?" "Administered. She inhaled it when she opened the invitation." "Good. I want her backstage by the end of the party. Be sure if you can do it without attracting attention." "Her friends will notice her absence." "That is of no concern to me. We will be long gone by the time they notice." He walked to the curtain, peeling it open to view the audience. He closed it hastily. Fancypants assumed it was because he was almost spotted by Daring or someone of equal importance. "When she is isolated, radio for the guards. By the looks of things, she'll be too drunk to even realize what is happening to her." "If I may ask, what will happen to her when you get her?" "What concern is it to you?" "She is my former employee. She is also... too nice a mare to be going through troubles such as this." The aging stallion sighed at his subordinate. "If she's lucky, the memory drug will have effect and will simply need to ask her what she remembers from her trip to the ruins. If not, we will have to rely on... other methods." "I want no harm to come to her!" "Duly noted. Now stop whining and go do your job. Frank Sinatrot is playing tonight and I don't intend on missing that." A loud sound-off of orchestra music came from the stage, signaling the welcome of a snazzy-dressed stallion walking out the side of the stage. He greeted his audience with humble modesty and a grin with teeth so white you could see your reflection. He took a bow and thanked his audience for coming out tonight. "I just want to say, even though we barely met, I love all of you with a burning passion. I don't know if anyone's heard, but I've been going through some rough times. Me and the missus aren't getting along too well. Had a nice and bitter divorce. I should be the one that's bitter, she gets to keep the house." The room was filled with laughter. "It's got me a bit down, but when I'm singing in front of all you lovely people? It just makes me think "Hey, that's life." The crowd cheered. The band played on, gallant in their effort. Sinatrot swerved with his subtle coolness. Daring and her friends sat enjoying the show. Daring took another large sip of wine, pretending it was mere coincidence a song like this was playing. She took another, and another. Pretty soon her head was spinning. that's life? Life's a bich "Daring, are you feeling all right?" A purple blur asked. She recongnized the concerned voice as Twilight. "Y-yeah. I'm... f-f-fine." She reiterated, refusing to adnowledge her. "Do you feel sick?" "No Just leave me alone!" She snapped at the blurry unicorn. She couldn't see it's reaction, but could tell the pony was hurt by her shap reaction. She didn't care. The sights of flashing lights and sounds of the obnoxiously loud orchestra starting having it's effect on Daring. Everything was blinding, deafening or both at the same time. She felt cold sweat beading off her forehead and noticed her breathing (along with the heartbeat she could hear in her ears) were irregular and rapid. one was irregular and the other was rrapid, but se haddd a difficult time telling whhich was which HER head was throbbing an she feel like throwing upppp her head was spinning her eyes blind he hoofs shook oh celestia-- whats happeneng to MEEEEEEEE "darrringg she hearrd an famliar voice call............. ar you allright? se trid to repond but muth was flld wit sand Darnng they clled again "Daring Do…" "Daaaarnng dead?" "DARING?!" ... thud ... ... ......... "Daring?" The room was clear and had a blue tint all around it, with faint music playing in the background. Daring's own empty table sat at the middle. Empty save for her and a shrouded figure across from her. The figure had a yellow mane and gold pupils. "Spitfire? What's going on? Where is every—" "We know what you did." "What?" "You did it." "Did what?" "Murder!" The sillouette barked. Daring sucked in a breath. "What- what are you talking about? I didn't—" "Why would you, Daring? It seems so beneath you." The voice had calmed itself, and now spoke in a forlorn tone. "It is!" "Did they deserve it?" "No!" "Do you know who they are?" "…no. I can't remember them." "Perhaps, this will help." Five other figures appeared at the table. Daring couldn't see their faces, but she didn't need to. Bits and pieces of memory focusing on the event slowly came back. "Can you see their faces?" "No. No, I can't." "Why?" "Because… Because…" "You've forgotten about them." "No, I didn't!" "They had their whole lives ahead of them. They had families. You killed them in cold blood. How does one forget about something like that?" The voice that resembled Spitfire sounded ashamed. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to!" "Will you repent?" "Yes! Please, I'll do anything!" "Will you die for your sins?" "…except that." "You're a murderer, Daring Do. All murderers are condemned to pony hell." The ponies moved from their seat, climbing and crawling over the table. Crawling towards Daring, she could hear the sound of snapping and cracking. Daring squicked realizing that sound could very well be their bones, the ones that weren't ripping past their flesh into the open. "Please!" Daring could feel her resolve breaking, tears slipping loose. "I'm innocent! I've done nothing wrong! Have mercy!" "No mercy for the damned." Spitfire vanished, leaving Daring alone with her tormentors. She could see their faces, faces destroyed beyond recognition. They were resemblant of the rotting and decayed flesh of the undead with most of the flesh missing and much bone material visible. Their eyes glow red, darker than the color of the blood that ran down their faces. "No." "No!" "No!" "NOOOOOOO!" There was complete and utter confusion at the party after the archeologist pony had fallen from her seat to the carpeted floor. Paramedics have been called and arrived within a half-hour to resuscitate the fallen pony. They came to the conclusion that the mare had not suffered a heart attack or stroke or anything of the sort. She was simply unconscious for unknown reasons. It was when they prepared to board her onto a stretcher that she decide to prove their medical evaluation wrong by sharply waking and screaming. Before any of her friends could interact with her, she jumped to her hooves and looked around her. Twilight could only catch quick glances at her eyes, but what she saw made her assume that Daring wasn't fully aware of what was going on around her. Her pupils were constricted to the point of being pinpricks. She was jumping and shaking as if she were covered with Fire Ants. Her drunkenness was still apparent as she stumbled about, almost falling. "Please! I didn't do anything! Get off me! Get off!" Daring brushed roughly against her dress screaming to nothing. Soon, she was off her seat Twilight and Rainbow ran up to her. "Daring!" Rainbow called, attempting to restrain the frantic pony. She struggled against the cyan pegasus' grip. "Daring, what's wrong?" "They want to kill me! Stop them! Please!" "Daring, there's nopony else here! Nopony wants to kill you." Twilight attempted to reason in vain. Daring lashed out against the blue pony, hitting her in the muzzle and freeing herself as she flinched away in pain. She was looking for a way out when she heard a voice. "Daring?" The brownish pony turned to see her orange maned friend, face mere inches from her own. To everyone's surprise, she calmed down almost immediately. Spitfire tried to look sympathetic, but Daring couldn't tell the difference between that and a much more hostile emotion hidden behind it. "I'm sorry." Said Daring, voice breaking. "I don't want to die. Not for them! Why should I? Just because you said so?! I'm sorry I killed them, so very sorry. Why can't you just forgive me?" Spitfire remained speechless, disturbed by her friend's unusual outburst and slowly realizing that she confessed to the murder of the five ponies that Spitfire had hoped was just an extreme rumor built by celebrity gossip. She read about it in morning paper during breakfast at the Wonderbolt rec room. She very likely would've choked on her breakfast if Soarin' hadn't been in the room at the moment. She just couldn't believe her friend, the one she had known since fillygarden, could murder somepony. Let alone five ponies! "You did murder them?" To Daring, it didn't sound like a question. It sounded more like an accusation. She stared at her friend in hopeless shock, then looked at Twilight and Rainbow Dash. "I'm a good pony. I'm a good pony!" Then she ran, shoving past the paramedics and a few other guests attending the now-ruined ball. "Now. Now! It must be now!" Fancypants whispered into his collar. The two burly ponies prepared to move into the dining room to apprehend the former archeologist. But it was too late. Daring was already out of the room and into the kitchen, running as if something demonic were chasing after her. Twilight, Rainbow and Spitfire were quickly on her tail.