//------------------------------// // 18| Is it hot in here or is it just me? // Story: A Nightmare Come To Life // by Alcatraz //------------------------------// Heat. Not the kind when you burn yourself on a hot skillet, but rather the kind when the sun outside is hot enough to cause sweltering temperatures within Joseph's bedroom. Drenched from how much he was sweating, Joseph peeled himself away from his sweat-soaked linen prison as he groggily woke. Sitting up, he looked out the window at the sky, seeing nothing but the sun casting it's ungodly hot rays into his room. Sighing in defeat from the temperature, Joseph flopped back down onto the bed spread-eagled as he groaned; "Hooooot...." Tis the season, Nightmare Moon greeted, although with an undertone Joseph couldn't quite place. "It was fine yesterday, so how did it go from pleasant to 'I'M STANDING ON THE FRICKIN' SUN GET ME OUT OF HERE' in less than 24 hours?" Celestia controls the sun. Blame her if you must. "Yeah, well... I've got better things to worry about," Joseph said, eventually electing to roll out of bed. First thing's first: he needed a shower. A cold one. Badly. Despite that, he headed down into the kitchen to see if the food he bought earlier in the week was still there. He opened the fridge to peer inside, and what greeted him was... less than ideal. The tomatoes had gotten frostbite, while some of the other fruits and veggies—cucumber, lettuce, carrots etc—had all begun to grow mould in some shape or another. The spots of what was there could still be removed and the rest eaten. That would mean Joseph would need to eat almost a week's worth of food in a day, which would be unlikely. Not the case if he had a big enough appetite from the hunger-inducing herb he wished he had. Even the fish looked like it had it. He picked up the fruit etc to throw in the bin, and when he picked up the fish, the paper slid off it. The fish's oils had leaked out of it. Ew. Right... Shower now, food later. Hopefully he wouldn't get carted off to Ponyville anytime soon, so he thought he'd try getting another weeks worth and then attempt to make it the problem of whomever pulls him away from the house for any extended period of time. At least it was worth a shot. Once in the bathroom he turned on the water to test it with his... hoof... before getting in to make sure he didn’t have a repeat performance with the scalding water. The temperature cool enough for the hot day, but not uncomfortably cold, Joseph got in and began to slowly turn the temperature down to really cool himself off. Spending a few minutes just sitting on the floor of the cubicle while letting the cold water cascade over him really did wonders for his mood, and the temperature. Sufficiently woken up, yet with no food or coffee, Joseph decided to get some breakfast at a cafe then do his food run. He didn't bother towelling off, instead letting the cold water cling to his coat to keep him cool for as long as possible. Well, at least until the bloody heat dried him off. It didn't last long. Five minutes after he stepped out the door, the water dried, leaving his coat slightly frizzled. Had he bothered to dry off, the hair of his coat would've been normal. Oh well, at least he enjoyed five minutes of chill in the heat, even if he got a remark from a passing stallion about 'sexy wet-mane'. In retrospect, it would be funny to see their reactions on telling those that would hit on Joseph that he wasn't who he appeared to be. At least in gender. Nonetheless, Joseph needed to find some place to eat. His stomach was expressing its disapproval from the lack of food. In his journey into the middle of Canterlot Town Square, where he suspected a lot of the businesses would be, he couldn't help but notice there were a lot of couples lingering about. Some were openly snogging each other, others were enjoying a romantic morning together, then there were others that were being playful with each other: hip-checking and flicking each other with their tails with no concern for their surroundings. He couldn't figure out why, so minus his curiously raised eyebrow, he continued on with his day. 'What is all this about?' he asked Nightmare. Couples enjoying each other's company, perhaps? 'Looks like they're enjoying each other's company a bit too much.' You're one to talk. Your memories have provided me with more than enough authority to say that you'd covertly watch couples. Especially on that thing you call a 'computer'. Nightmare got him there. She knew he was blushing, but both of them wisely decided to not say anything more on the topic. Further down the road, a quaint little coffee shop caught his eye, and the storefront menu said they had sandwiches and the like for sale. Perfect breakfast food. The business at the beginning of the day was steady; about a third of the tables had single ponies or couples sitting at them enjoying their morning while they either read the paper over a cuppa, or were getting a bite to eat before they were due to start work. The glass food-display cabinet had a myriad of sandwiches in them. Sadly, none of them had any meat. That meant no bacon and egg sandwiches, or satay chicken, much to Joseph's annoyance. He eyed a sauteed onion sandwich with lettuce, tomato, and various other fillings. Figuring it would suffice in lieu of chicken, he elected to buy it and a strong cup of coffee. "See something you like?" asked the chocolate-brown cashier. "Uh, yeah," Joseph began, still waking up. "That sandwich"—he pointed a hoof at the one he wanted in the cabinet—"and a coffee strong enough to wake me up." The cashier raised an intrigued eyebrow at him. "Strong enough to wake you up, eh?” he said with a chuckle, giving Joseph's tired form a quick glance up and down. "Alright, it's your funeral. One Death Coffee coming up." The first half of the cashier's sentence made Joseph crack a small grin. The second half made his eyebrow raise. Nonetheless, he paid for the sandwich and drink and went to find a table. A few bites of his breakfast later, the steaming cup was brought over to him. He eyed it with all deserved tentative curiosity, wondering what would happen. Death Coffee? He hadn't heard of that before, and even the barista that made it had a look on his face. Barring how hot it was, he blew off some of the radiant heat and took a sip. Wasn't too bad, but could do with some sugar. He ate and drank in silence, a forlorn expression painted all across his face. It had taken a while for the magnitude of his situation to sink in, but there was another aspect Joseph hadn't considered: how much longer would he be stuck here? For the rest of his life? How long do these ponies live for anyway? Do they have the same lifespan as humans? That'd be something he'd need to ask Twilight. His thoughts were interrupted by a shrill, sharp buzzing off to his right, followed by a pop and sizzle. He turned to look, seeing a tan stallion with a slightly scruffy brown mane with what looked like an eight inch rod of melted steel. "What's that thing?" Joseph asked. "It's a..." The stallion began, pausing mid sentence to pick up another rod. "...part of a project I'm working on. Photonic resonance barrier." "Uh huh," Joseph nodded, "I'll just pretend I'll know what that means." He looked over at Joseph, noticing his expression, his own immediately softening into sympathy from the stressed-addled one from the frustration of the work. "Are you alright?" he asked. "You seem a little..." His eyes carefully traced Joseph up and down, seemingly studying him. "...lost, I want to say?" "You have no idea," Joseph replied through an exhale, taking another sip of the coffee. When was this stuff supposed to kick in anyway? The stallion put all his bits and bobs in a satchel under his chair, bringing it over to Joseph's table, much to his chagrin. He put the bag underneath the seat opposite Joe and sat down to join him. "Is it you who's lost, or have you lost someone?" The question, coming from a complete alien and stranger, made Joseph shift uncomfortably in his seat, eyes looking down at the half-eaten sandwich. He simply didn't answer, opting to ignore the stranger. The stallion, having no sense of personal space, continued to pester Joseph. "I want to say parents, maybe?" "Do you actually mind?" Joseph snapped, careful not to disturb the peace of the cafe with an outburst. The stallion was somewhat taken aback by this. After all, he was just trying to be friendly. "Alright," he conceded, "I'll go. Before I do, if it's any consolation, there's no force in the universe that can keep loved ones separated. Everyone find ways of reuniting with each other. Trust me, I know this all too well." And without another word, he grabbed his bag and left. Joseph dwelled on the thought a little bit more. In a way, it was slightly comforting to know the stallion sincerely meant what he said, to know he'd experienced bereavement too. To console someone you hardly knew over the loss of a loved one is an act of kindness, and Joseph hoped his mum and dad were better off than he was. "How was the coffee?" the cashier asked. Joseph had stacked his plates and brought them up to the front, rather than having someone come and collect them. "I don't feel any different. Still tired, I guess." The chocolate-brown stallion shot him a confused look. "Nopony has had one of those and not been wired before! It's got four times the caffeine a normal cup has! Why has it not done anything to you?" "Heck if I know. With that in mind, if you ever run into someone named 'Pinkie Pie', under no circumstances are you to give her any of this." "...Why?" he tentatively asked. "She's as wired as anyone will ever be. Period." "Well, uh, thanks. I guess?" "Anyway, thanks and have a good day," he finished, dropping a few bits in the tip jar on his way out. It was always polite to tip. If there was a tip jar on the front counter, he was sure to place a few bucks in it. Most people didn't realise that 'tip' is an acronym meaning 'To Insure Promptness'. At least, that's what he thought. The breakfast helped to give him a bit of energy for the day, although maybe it was a mistake ordering a hot drink instead of something cold, like an iced coffee. Would they still use the Death Coffee in those? The next place on his trip was the market where he bought his first load of groceries that ended up going the way of the dodo. It took him a while going down a few of the streets until he found the one that he remembered. He let out a grateful sigh, thankful he didn't have to aimlessly wander around for any longer. When he walked in through the sliding doors, he was greeted by the same mare whom he spoke to on his first visit. "Oh, hello!" she greeted. "How are we today? Handling heat well?" "Yesterday was fine," he replied. "I don't know how it became so frickin' hot all of a sudden. I hate summer." The mare's blank stare suggested to Joseph that something she said went right over his head. Outside of her asking how he was handling the temperature, what else could she have meant? He went around the aisles collecting largely the same things, in addition to a few extras: bread, milk, eggs etc. He even found some kind of spread for toast that looked similar to Nutella from Earth. He bought that too, figuring he could cook something delicious with it. "Word of advice," the cashier began, "don't let any of the stallions get to you. They tend to get a bit frisky." "Oh trust me, I dumped the contents of a teapot in addition to the sodden tea leaves over someone's head because they tried hitting on me. Said they'd make my cutie mark, them." She stifled a cute giggle behind her hoof, glancing at Joseph with an all too knowing smile. "In any case, I hope the rest of your day is... enjoyable." With an errant roll of his eyes, and abstaining from saying anything else, Joseph paid for his selection and left. He didn't know what it was, but the conversation with the cashier didn't sit quite right with him. He knew that Nightmare Moon knows what's going on, but she was the kind of person—or pony rather— that, once you spent enough time around, could accurately discern whether or not they were going to tell you what they meant. In most cases, it would be for their amusement and/or to keep antagonising the target of the joke, all in good fun of course. It took a bit of effort, but Joseph managed to magik his shopping bags off to his pocket. Unlike his bit bag, the shopping bags were a lot more sizeable, and thus trickier to magic away. 'I don't understand why, when I went to the bar the other week, the alcohol hit me, but today, the coffee didn't do anything,' he said to Nightmare. Figuring he didn't have anything else he needed to buy or get done in town, he began making his way back home. 'I know you can't suppress the effects of caffeine since you've no control over my bodily functions as opposed to whatever you're doing inside my head.' There are some things my—Nightmare corrected—body metabolises faster than others. Alcohol is not one of them, yet caffeine is. '...That's stupid.' Be that as it may, you'll just have to learn to cope without any energy supplements, Nightmare Moon finished. Again Joseph rolled his eyes, although with disdain this time as opposed to annoyance. He didn't manage to get a minute down the road towards home when a passing stallion, walking in the opposite direction, brushed his tail over Joseph's hindquarters. He jumped, caught completely off guard by the sudden contact. He turned to see who it was. "Hey there gorgeous, how about you and I—" The stallion caught sight of Joseph's downright poisonous stare, almost visibly shaken by it. "Do that again and I'll make you regret it," he seethed. "Alright, alright," the stallion relented. "Sheesh, mares..." Joseph let the passing comment slide. How many had tried hitting on him since he got here? It's not something he'd care to think about, let alone keep tabs on. With a scowl, he kept walking towards home, although electing to take the remainder of the journey through a side street. That way there would be less stallions to bother him, and while he had the right idea, it only partially helped his problem. While only two more made advances, it was less than what would have happened had he taken the more crowded route home. It was a simple matter of staring deadly stares at the unwanted attention before continuing on with his day. To his surprise, he saw Vinyl coming down the road towards him! She beamed a smile at Joseph, pushing her glasses down the bridge of her nose slightly to double check it was, in fact, him. "Eclipse!" she cheerily greeted before nudging the glasses back up to their original position. Joseph managed to catch a brief look at her eyes, and oh wow those eyes. A soft magenta colour, he found those eyes to be rather alluring, oddly enough. "What are you doing out today?" "Eh, shopping," he replied. "Well alright! Sorry to cut things short, but I'm in a hurry to get to the club to set things up for tonight. I'll see you at the Nightmare Night party in Ponyville soon!" She cantered on past Joseph with a friendly wave. He smiled contentedly at the memory of their performance last night, which made him look forward to the aforementioned party. Part of him wondered why he was hesitant towards the stallions, yet Vinyl seemed to captivate him. He didn't understand why he didn't experience this on stage with Vinyl. He tried reasoning that they're miniature horses, so he shouldn't be finding any of them even remotely attractive! He couldn't help but imagine those eyes rolling over and looking into his own, her mussed-up hair and the bedsheets—he mentally snapped himself out of the provocative thought. It wasn't right! At the same time, Nightmare Moon was sniggering under her breath. 'Go suck a fat one!' he inwardly shouted. You are in a better position to do that than I. 'I am not, under any circumstances, putting one of those anywhere near my mouth! You say mou— 'Or anywhere else for that matter!' he quickly amended. Would you rather the thought of the two of you caressing each other's folds with your divine tongues, then, hmm? Nightmare Moon salaciously taunted. That made Joseph stop in his tracks, crimson painting his cheeks. Good thing he wasn't put in a stallion's body. Not even the baggiest of pants—if there were such a thing as pants in this world—would have hidden the result. He kept walking home, too embarrassed to say another word, and kept his gaze firmly affixed on the ground beneath him. Fortunately, there wasn't any other run-ins with any more stallions, or mares for that matter, which was a good thing for Joseph. Had someone else tried being forward, he'd've likely punched them. Though it was more fortunate on their behalf than Joseph's that he didn't have to inflict bodily harm at any more unwanted attention out of frustration at the frequency of it happening. Joe got home safe and sound, and on closing the door behind him, exhaled a breath he didn't realise he was holding. He went into the kitchen to put away his purchases, but getting them out of his pocket proved a bit more challenging. By way of comparison, it was like trying to thread a sausage through the eye of a needle. With much difficulty and coaxing from Nightmare Moon suggesting various ways he could accomplish the task, like holding your stool for too long and finally getting home to use the bathroom, the paper bags shredded themselves and the contents scattered everywhere like confetti at one of Pinkie's Parties. He grumbled with anger at that, forcing himself to pick everything up from both the table and floor as he put them away. He just had to worry about washing off the items that weren't wrapped with plastic, namely the vegetables. "How could this day get any worse..." he mumbled. If I might interject on a completely unrelated topic? Nightmare Moon cheekily ventured. 'Oh here we go...' "What?" he seethed. One minute later... "I hate you, and this planet so fucking much right now."