"So, there's no overall confirmed agreed conclusion over the origins of humanity?"

"Sadly, none whatsoever." I responded to Twilight's question, as we exited from the basement beneath the library. The knowledge-seeking unicorn and I were just wrapping up a discussion about the many theories and beliefs behind the creation of my species. "Science states it's by evolution of the ape species, while many other religions believe otherwise."

Today's topic during our session downstairs covered one of the most controversial and headache-inducing subjects of Earth: Religion. And inwardly I was repeatedly thanking myself that Twilight was more curious than possibly offended by my own beliefs.

The purple mare nodded, the notepad floating alongside still scribbling down the information I provided with the flying quill. "And you were baptized as a 'Christian'?"

"That's right, basically meaning I believe in there being a single deity controlling all." And thank God it isn't Celestia, unlike these equines. "Though forgive me for not expanding more upon my own religion, Twilight, I never really get myself too invested in it, and I've only ever been to church... Twice in my life."

Twilight was, of course, hardly fazed by the lack of further information. The notepad and quill disappeared after that statement, the mare smiling reassuringly, halting beside me. "Jack, just the information you keep indulging me with is enough to keep me satisfied and educated. Alongside the magic of friendship, I've learnt so much about an entire different species and world. For your willingness to cooperate, I'm very grateful."

The mare bowed to emphasize her gratitude, and I smiled humouredly. "No need to thank me, my dear. You already returned the favour enough by not throwing me out of the house yet."

"'Yet' implies that'll ever happen." Twilight raised an exasperated yet amused non-existent brow. "I've told you time and time again, Jack, I will never deem you an inconvenience." We'll see about that, love. "Although, your species argue alot over religion?"

My response was immediate. "Respect for other's opinions on Earth is a privilege, nowadays, Twilight. Humans are naturally prejudiced, and sometimes to the point of hateful towards anything they consider 'different'."

The frowning mare looked down thoughtfully. "That's too bad; one should always acknowledge and appreciate other's opinions, whether they agree with them or not." You're telling me. Twilight glanced back up, smiling slightly. "Well, good thing then all of Equestria believes in Princess Celestia... Partially due to the fact she's a real living being guiding us all with her knowledge and wisdom."

My muzzle opened, and quickly closed before I could retort. Twilight knew how I was going to respond and rolled her eyes at my expression beforehand. Celestia, a God. Hah; my species created this universe, so technically I'm a higher deity than that alicorn...

"I'm going to the spa in a moment to join the others." Twilight then announced, already walking off. "Afterwards I'll study more on today's information you've provided me."

"You know, I'm amazed we still have these sessions." I called out. "Pretty soon I don't think there'll be anything left that I haven't told you about concerning humanity or Earth."

Glancing behind her, purple eyes sparkled humouredly. "I doubt that'll stop you from trying, though."

A smirk graced my muzzle as Twilight headed towards the next room, another voice calling out to me afterwards. "Stardust, I've got it!" My direction turned to the approaching dragon, Spike halting in front of me and presenting the book I requested proudly. "Everything you need to know about royal weddings in right here!"

Success. "Good job, Spike." My hoof rubbed his bashful head while taking the book. A hardcover with a picture of a fancy-looking wedding ceremony, a large castle in the background looking suspiciously like Canterlot's castle. Of course.

Still, this will be useful in preparing for Cadence and Armor's wedding beforehand. With this, I could stall the event for as long as possible before Queen Mephiles is defeated or, if it's possible, reasoned with.

"You know, you could at least ask Twilight to dinner first before planning the wedding."

"Ow!" Spike's sly tone immediately shifted to pain at the leather smacking the back of his head. Not with that much force, mind you. "I was kidding, Stardust, sheesh."

"I should hope so. Thanks for finding the book, Spike." I said gratefully while the dragon rubbed the sore spot on his back head.

"No problem, so when exactly are you going to propose- I'm kidding, don't hit me again!"

My training continued as ever, and fortunately I've noted and the felt the payoff over doing this for over a month now. Muscles noticeably improved now, even my friends commented as such. And more often than not, in their spare time, they assist me, Spike included, lying on my back whenever I conducted push-ups.

Twilight helps by counting how much time pasts while I exercised, providing equipment for me to use as I trained and firing magic spells for me to block and resist. Rarity mainly uses my exercising as an excuse to help her around the boutique, which was fine. Applejack often helps by using me to kick apples down from her farm's trees. Fluttershy by... Well, just being the moral support basically, because I failed to see how helping with animals boosts my muscle mass, and no way in hell am I giving those woodland creatures massages. Pinkie occasionally joined the yellow pegasus in simply providing encouragement alone, while sometimes I helped around Sugarcube Corner. And Rainbow Dash, well that mare helps me with increasing my speed, while we raced around a set path.

But all in all, they were remarkably impressed by my progression, and so was I. Exercise wasn't something I was content with, but sacrifices had to be made. I promised Cadence I'd look after Twilight and the rest during the wedding, and I meant it. Even if it kills my aching limbs.

Currently, I was doing some push-ups while reading the open book Spike handed to me, as the others were now at the spa, relaxing to their heart's content. I don't envy them, despite how utterly exhausting this training has been. Never been to a spa, and I have no intention on doing so. Right now, I was exercising atop the hill I usually visited for solitude, training as the afternoon arrived, the sky a bright beautiful blue.

Stopping with every ten push-ups, I take those moments to lie on my stomach and continue reading the wedding book before me. With this, I'll know what happens when during the event, and how to use them to my advantage. Say, for example, exploding the wedding cake, misplacing the dresses, ruin the decorations and so on. Twilight would probably be appalled by this willing planning attempt to sabotage her brother and former babysitter's wedding, but the ends justify the means.

Oh [BEEP]. The sudden youthful voice speaking up from behind resulted in me losing balance from my push-up, falling to the side.

Quickly recovering, I glanced behind me. Lo and behold, the three Crusaders, grinning sheepishly, wearing grey fedoras with little papers sticking out of them, Apple Bloom holding a notepad with a pencil-

Wait... Journalist-looking fedora's, a notepad with a pencil, the Crusaders... Oh no...

"How can I help you three?" I asked against my better judgement, memories of the awful implications during the conclusion of that episode rising in my head.

"We were jus' passin' by and saw ya trainin' on this here hill." The young Earth Pony replied, while Scootaloo walked around me curiously.

"I'm fine, Sweetie Belle, thank you." I sighed, while the two fillies frowned at me questionably. "You just... caught me off-guard, that's all-"

"Hey, what's this?" Our attention turned to an asking Scootaloo, the small pegasus pointing at the open lying book. "Is that a picture of a wedding?"

But the three Crusaders were already focused on the leather-bound item, checking the cover and making me lose the page I was previously reading. Wow, guess not even the simplest of manners exist in the world of journalism.

"'History of the Royal Weddings of Equestria.'" Sweetie Belle read the title out-loud, glancing behind at me curiously. "Are you going to a wedding, Stardust?"

My hoof quickly snatched the book from their clingy limbs. "Nope, it's just research, nothing more." I answered swiftly.

Yet that did nothing to stem their open curiosity, Apple Bloom was already writing something down with enthusiasm and Scootaloo smirked. Then the young unicorn inhaled loudly, as if reaching an epiphany. "That's it!" Sweetie Belle declared happily, grinning at her friends before nodding to me in farewell, and I faintly heard the sound of a flashing camera. "Thanks Stardust!"

"Um, you're wel- Wait, stop!" My words fell on deaf ears, as the three energetic fillies already ran off back to the direction of Ponyville, a trail of dust in their previous spot. And from the side, my eyes spotted a young pegasus speeding after them from below, holding something around his or her neck.

If this was indeed the episode I looked forward to the least during my time here in Equestria, then I'll probably find out the results of this encounter tomorrow...

As I was preparing to depart for today's training while the afternoon struck, Spike burst into my room, looking both excited and shocked for some reason. "Stardust!" He exclaimed the moment my door slammed upon by his entrance, holding up the newspaper presumably for today. "You're on the front cover of today's Golden Press Newspaper! It says you're getting married!"

"Oh this I need to see." Spike passed over the newspaper, where the front cover showed a photo of myself looking quite nervous, and the book detailing royal weddings, atop that hill from yesterday. So I WAS right in assuming this was the episode I dreaded to partake in. Let's see what it says...

STARDUST BALANCE PLANNING TO PROPOSE TO PRINCESS LUNA!

Gabby Gums has discovered that seemingly single Stardust Balance reading a book about royal weddings. And upon recalling his past interactions with the Princess of the Night back during Nightmare Night, the dots weren't hard to connect. Their obvious feelings for one another when he stuck up for the Princess that night, and played around with her with the festivities, shows that Mr. Balance now wishes to finally tie the knot.

Or perhaps they're already engaged, and they're planning the wedding without anyone even knowing? Suffice to say, we might have a new Prince among us very soon, should Princess Luna accept the proposal-

"Haha hahahaha! This- This is the best thing I've ever read!" Followed by more laughter. Seriously, this was comedic gold! Even Spike was chuckling at my reaction, evidently knowing how stupid the article was. "Hahahaha! Now this is going on my wall!"

"Yeah, it is very funny." The dragon concurred humouredly, while I wiped an invisible tear from my eye. "At least you're taking it in stride, Twilight doesn't seem all that amused by what this Gabby Gums writes about her or our friends."

"Those ponies are easily offended, Spike." I said, still chuckling as my amusement hasn't died down yet. My eyes stayed on the comical article. "In my world, news like this is typical; the majority simply untrue or exaggerated, yet people soak it up because no matter how much they deny it, we love to invade other's privacy."

Okay, now that the Crusaders have had their fun, it was seriously time to do something about it. Ripping the front page off, I placed it to the side and handed a frowning Spike back his newspaper, hooves already moving towards the exit.

The lizard was quick to catch up, "I know that look, you're planning something, aren't you?"

Because, this episode - whose title I've forgot - was one of the few I've seen before being whisked away to Ponyville. And quite frankly, it was the worst one I've seen so far. Not because it wasn't funny, or it wasn't a creative idea.

But because of the ending. That horrible, horrible conclusion where everyone gave the Crusaders the cold shoulder and treated them like the scum of the Earth, or Equestria. They're kids, they didn't know any better for Christ's sake!

When I was a kid, there was a cartoon I've adored even to this day: Ed Edd N' Eddy. And in one episode, this exact situation happened; the school newspaper getting out of hand by delivering hilarious yet untrue news. The difference between the two? The one responsible got his comeuppance, while a little harshly - it was Ed Edd N' Eddy, mind you - he still paid for his mistake and probably - though I wouldn't hold my breath on it - learnt his lesson.

As for this episode, there was no justice to be had. The Crusaders were frowned upon by the entire town; grown ups and their own families, simply because they didn't know any better. Those three fillies acted more mature and responsible for their actions than those older than them did. It was repulsive that not one of the grown ups admitted to acting childish and cruel to three small fillies.

If Rarity, Applejack and Rainbow Dash had just lectured them and helped them realize what they're doing is awful and shouldn't continue doing so, then maybe this episode would've gotten a pass from me. But they didn't, they behaved like children.

Even Twilight, Twilight, put up a [BEEP] forcefield around the library to prevent the Crusaders entry.

Which is why I'm going to rectify this town situation before it reaches that conclusion once again.

"Yes I am, Spike." I finally responded to my friend's inquiry as we walked down the staircase to the first floor. "We are going to stop this before it gets out of hand."

"Yes." Was my immediate determined answer as we reached the front red door. "Considering the consequences, our humour isn't worth it." Though that article about me was still funny, definitely going to be pinned on my wall-

The first thing to greet us from outside was Octavia, holding up today's newspaper with the front cover in our faces. "Stardust, is it true? Are you planning on courting Princess Luna?"

"Once again, I must thank you again for bringing this to my attention." Cheerilee said sincerely, standing by her side of the desk while we waited patiently. A newspaper lying on the desk featuring information about Rarity open. "I would never have imagined my own students would write such ludicrous articles on the school's own paper."

"We all make mistakes, Cheerilee." I said reassuringly, despite the fact I personally held her responsible for allowing this to happen in the first place.

The dark pink Earth Pony nodded, "Well, I can guarantee you Stardust, this won't happen again." Followed by knocking on the door to the side of the classroom, turning our attention towards the arriving fillies. "Come in."

The Crusaders obliged, looking more curious than guilty. "You asked for us, Miss Cheerilee?" Apple Bloom inquired, before they noticed mine and Spike's presence. "Stardust? Spike? What are you doing here?"

"Please close the door, girls. Our friends here have brought to my attention the kind of news you are providing not just to the school, but the whole of Ponyville," Cheerilee began rather softly, but her tone raised in disappointment with every word. "The news otherwise written by 'Gabby Gums'."

Their eyes widened in shock and nervousness. "We... don't know what you're talking about..." Scootaloo said while they looked around, avoiding our intense gazes.

Spike scoffed, folding his arms, "Oh come on, the jig is up. Stardust figured out you three were Gabby Gums when you wrote today's article of him." Which is what Spike believes happened, as I told him. "Though it was pretty funny." The young reptilian couldn't help but admit next with a slight chuckle, prompting my small smirk.

"You girls should be ashamed." Cheerilee continued her stern lecture, causing the three fillies to look down reflecting regret. "These exaggerated and fabricated stories are doing more harm than good towards the citizens of Ponyville. For example, this article about Miss Rarity's deepest and darkest secrets. I am appalled by your audacity to look through someone's diary, let alone your own sister's, Sweetie Belle."

Cheerilee carried on, turning the pages for emphasis. "And Apple Bloom, claiming your sister as lazy and Big Macintosh hiding more than he shows." Said Earth Pony's muzzle trembled. "And Scootaloo, you look up to Miss Rainbow Dash, do you not? Over the past few days your actions have been nothing but blatantly invade other's privacy. What were you girls thinking?"

The three fillies glanced at one another, before Apple Bloom spoke up for them, "We... We were just tryin' to get our cutie marks."

"At the cost of making other's lives miserable?" The teacher of this rather small one-classroom-only educational building sighed, "It's a noble goal-" Hardly. "- Girls, but please ask yourselves; would getting your cutie marks really be worth all what you're doing to the good residents of Ponyville?"

"...No." Sweetie Belle answered quietly. "We're really sorry, Miss Cheerilee. We just... We didn't want to hurt anyone..."

Right, now it was my turn. "Sometimes the most innocent of intentions can lead to the most disastrous of consequences." Their saddened gazes turned to me, and I couldn't help but express a reassuring smile. "We're not mad at you, girls. Disappointed, more of. But, in your defense, you're three young fillies who didn't know any better. Which is why we're going to help set things right."

That statement seemed to cause an interesting reaction. The three fillies glanced at one another in fear.

"Girls?" Cheerilee asked, a hint of concern in her tone upon seeing their expressions.

...Ah, of course. Now I remember. "Someone doesn't want that though, am I correct?" They stared at me in surprise. "Are you being... blackmailed into doing this?" From the side, the teacher of this school gasped at the implications, and Spike threw me a look of surprise himself.

"How did you know?" Apple Bloom asked, which confirmed it immediately. She realized this too, and quickly covered her mouth. But the damage was already done.

"So it's true?" The three fillies hesitantly nodded at Cheerilee's demanding question. Glancing at the Earth Pony, I noted the expression of disdain. "Who would do such a vile thing?"

"The editor?" I asked, making it sound as though a random guess. Their combined wince was the only answer their teacher needed.

"Diamond Tiara? How could she?" Our gazes shifted to the irritated teacher of the school. eyes burning at the newspaper lying before us. "After I've given her such an important responsibility."

Mistake on your part, my dear. "I think the title of responsibility went to her head. May I suggest, Cheerilee, that Miss Tiara be replaced henceforth?"

"You certainly may, Stardust. In fact, I shall act on that suggestion immediately." Dark green eyes glanced back at the girls, who were looking quite hopeful, most likely to that snobbish filly being replaced by someone more competent for the job. "And I have just the pony in mind."

I nodded, "As for you three." The Crusaders snapped to attention at my address, as though preparing for another lecture. "You three are going to write an apology to the whole town for tomorrow's newspaper, written by Gabby Gums herself."

"We can do that." Apple Bloom said happily, the other two fillies nodding in relief. "We've learnt our lesson, we'll never invade anyone's privacy or write untrue news ever again."

"Glad to hear it." I smiled in approval. And inwardly, I was more than relieved that this now won't reach the same conclusion to this piece of [BEEP] episode.

To the citizens of Ponyville:

For some time now, you've been reading this column to get the latest dirt and the hottest buzz. But this will be my final piece. We want to apologize for the pain and embarrassment we've caused. Ya see, I'm actually three little fillies: Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom and Scootaloo.

As the popularity of the column grew, we got swept up in the hype. We knew that what we were doing didn't feel quite right, but we ignored the guilt because everypony seemed to want to read what we were writing. From now on, we promise to respect everypony elses privacy, and we won't engage in hurtful gossip anymore.

All we can do is ask for your forgiveness, Ponyville. Signing off for the very last time, xoxo.

Side comment from Stardust Balance: "I'm glad these three young fillies have admitted their responsibilities for their actions. and they've amended them as soon as possible. Frankly, it shows they're growing up, and behave even more mature than, say, anyone giving them the cold shoulder or projecting a magic forcefield around their home-"

"You just couldn't resist getting a word in, could you?" Twilight asked me in exasperation, interrupting Spike's out-loud reading.

I prevented the episode from reaching that horrific ending where everyone behaves like immature brats towards three small children. You bet your [BEEP] I'm satisfied, love.

"Was calling me and those ponies out like that really necessary, though?" Twilight inquired, sounding annoyed. "I know exactly who you were referring to with the forcefield part."

"Not my fault you're predictable love. And look on the bright side, everyone, not just you, was called out. I recall having to snap at anyone who was giving those fillies the cold shoulder. The whole town behaved like intrepid jerks."

"Assuming everyone was acting the exact same way." Twilight looked at me humouredly. "Now who's acting immature?"

"Not as immature as when you put up that forcefield to protect yourselves from three harmless young ponies."

Her smile dropped, rising to the bait. "Remember the times when you charged recklessly at those monsters, despite all odds against you?"

Those purple knowledgeable eyes reflected a challenge. Very well, two can play this game, Twilight. "Remember when you lost your marbles because you couldn't find anything to write in your weekly friendship report to Celestia?"

"Just as I have the distant memory of being told you tried to stop time altogether to prevent some future disaster you weren't clearly aware of the details over."

"I... Give me a minute." Twilight's expression turned slightly triumphant as I struggled to recall any other act of immaturity the mare pulled during my stay in Equestria. As her muzzle twitched upwards, I frowned, "At least I actively helped the Crusaders learn their lesson yesterday instead of shunning them away like they were the scum of the Earth."

"...Alright, I can admit it was unreasonable of me to do that." Haha! Twilight nodded in acceptance, "I was rather hurt by what they said about me in the column."

"Eh, as I told Spike, you ponies are offended way too easily... Ow!" An object impacted the back of my head, prompting my hoof to rub the spot the hard-leathered book assaulted. From a few feet away, Twilight expressed innocence while Spike refrained from laughing. "And you're calling me immature?"

The unicorn shrugged, turning away to focus on the quill and paper beside her. Big mistake, as my hoofs slowly picked the fallen open book that magically hit me. "I thought I told you to stop generalizing others- Ow! Hey!"

My smirk disappeared as quick as it came by the pained expression on Twilight's face, rubbing the back of her own head. "Twilight, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hit you that hard- Ow! Son of a-!" The unicorn was now chuckling at my disbelieving expression, upon the open book hitting the front of my muzzle and then sliding off.

The intelligent purple mare quickly ducked at the hurled book, smirking at me. "Now who's becoming predictable-?" Her reflexes, magic lighting up the next book I quickly grabbed and threw at her and harmlessly floated beside her. Twilight smirked at me childishly.

Knowing what was going to happen, my body quickly rolled out of the way at the two books thrown towards my previous direction. "Careful now, my dear Twilight, those are your precious books you're throwing around."

The expression shifted. "Oh no, you're right, I shouldn't be using them as weapons- Ow!" Twilight pulled the soft-covered book off her cheek, eyes glaring at me with intent. "That does it!"

"Spike, you're with me!" I called while ducking a magically hurled book. The dragon quickly rushed tpo my side, looking eager to participate in this battle of the library.

Our childish sides have overtaken us completely, as books left and right were hurled around the entire first floor. Twilight had literally designed a fortress of literature to defend her, while Team Spike and Star only had a small mountain protecting us. From dusty to clean, regardless of category or importance, almost no book this floor was spared from the battlefield. Twilight was the one pressing her attack, with magic to her advantage both Spike and I were forced to use cover.

"We surrender!" I called out, Spike looking at me in shock before I winked at him knowingly. "We give up!"

The books flying over our mountain slowly ceased, as we cautiously looked upwards from our protections. Twilight's head stuck out of her fortress of books, expressing clear smugness. "I told you long ago, Jack, that magic has its advantages-"

"HA! Great job Spike!" I praised the dragon who aimed well, the large book landing squarely on Twilight's features. The beaming Spike and I high-fived one another as the mare pulled the leather off her face, her expression furious.

The war continued. Time passed, presumably five to ten minutes, before we were all utterly exhausted with throwing the books at each other. In a final assault, we left our protective areas and charged, Twilight with two floating books, while Spike and I held one book each.

And just like that, the battle concluded. The two paused in their tracks and stared at me in utter confusion, while I laughed at their expressions. This incited their amused smiles before the three finally decided to sit down, admist the pile of open scattered literature surrounding us-

Or at least, Spike and I chose to sat down, while Twilight took advantage of the presented opportunity, slamming right into me, forcing me on my back as the unicorn towered over me triumphantly. A victorious grin spread on her muzzle, the unicorn prepared to hurl the two books into my face...

...Before stopping, releasing me and deciding to lie down in exhaustion beside me, laughing heartily herself. This prompted laughter echoing the entire messy first floor now, as the reality of it all hit us like bricks. None of us proved each other wrong, and yet at the same time we have.

And this moment between the three of us, myself, Twilight and Spike, all sharing heartfelt laughter like this...

"I can admit we both behave childishly at times." Twilight said after a moment, the laughter subsiding after a few minutes.

I threw a grin towards her. "Agreed, my dear, agreed." Before my body rolled around, limbs supporting me upwards once again. Well, it was fun while it lasted. "I didn't know you had it in you, Twilight."

The mare graciously took the offered hoof, pulling her back up. "I think I can blame you for this peculiar behaviour of mine, Jack." She stated, smiling brightly at me.

"It's not a good thing." She said in dry amusement, glancing around the place with slight regret. "Oh dear, this will take a while."

Indeed. Hills upon hills of books scattered around the place. I can barely see the windows and staircase, the front door and way into the kitchen were beyond our sight. "Sorry, Twilight, I didn't mean for this to happen."

"No no, it's quite alright, I allowed this to happen against my better judgement. I'll get to cleaning up immediately-"

"While I'm glad you're finally calling this place such, it still falls to me to take care of this place the most-"

"Ugh. We'll all do it okay?" Our attention then focused on Spike, who was rolling his eyes and shaking his head. The exasperated dragon turned around and quickly set himself to work, picking up a few books. "You can start when you're done holding hoofs."

Failing to notice our hoofs were indeed still touching one another, we quickly let go, Twilight looking away, smiling sheepishly as her features reddened in embarrassment. She's embarrassed? I'm shocked myself for not noticing earlier.

A Journey Beyond Sanity

by Darkwing Dust

Chapter Fifty: Blobby Bla- Err, Gabby Gums