Narcissism Makes Great Comedy

by Hot Blooded Hero


Me, Myself, and... Yeah, That's It.

Me, Myself, and… Yeah, That’s it.

“Yep again, I’m you!” I laughed mentally at this one time when that sentence was used as a joke, but this situation was kinda funny on a different level. Maybe that’s also why I was still smiling.

The pony me just stared at me, half in disbelief and half in thought. After more moments of awkward silence, he finally let out a chuckle himself.

“Heh… Heh, heh… Ha ha ha ha ha! Oh, that’s just funny right there if you think about it.” He continued to laugh heartily at my situation, and I laughed along side him.

“Ha, I know, and it’s also kinda awesome. I mean, when’s the last time you could look at a mirror and talk to yourself, except have the mirror talk back?”

“Well, I do know unicorns who have actually done that. By the way, my name’s Abyx, Abyx Skybreaker. I’m assuming you have the same name?” He reached out with a hoof, which I took was a sign for a hand- er, hoof -shake.

I accepted the hoof and said, “Actually, the name’s Jasper, Jasper Landers, but I admit, yours sounds a lot cooler.”

“Actually, Abyx isn’t my real name. It’s just my real name shortened. But why’s your name Jasper Landers? Oh Celestia, please don’t tell me that I’m a geologist that lives with a family of landscapers in your dimension.”

I chuckled. “No, we humans- which is what I am, by the way -like to give names that have meaning based on their history or religious meaning. And from what I can tell, you just described an occupation based on my name. Well ‘Abyx’ sure doesn’t sound like an occupation to me.”

He suddenly looked flustered. “Well… My real name’s a touchy subject, but your right it’s not my occupation. If you remember from busting into my studio, I’m a playwright and actor, and a quite famous one around here at that. I work with another pony that lives in the town close by, and we specialize in comedies.”

“Oh really? Care to tell me a joke?” Apparently I was a comedian here, although that didn’t surprise me. I was funny among my friends back home, but only among friends. When alone, if you don’t remember, I was a deep, philosophical thinker. Maybe it was different here, since there’s not as much violence or war. But I was making assumptions again, and I had a few problems with doing that in the past. I remembered a fan fiction where war was as common here as it was on Earth, and since this was an alternate Earth, there could’ve been a number of things similar… Wait… Oh crap, I missed most of his joke with my inner monologue.

“…and so he put on the mask and said, ‘How about now?’” he finished and looked at me expectantly. I hesitated a moment before realizing that that was the punch line and quickly tried to laugh convincingly.

“Oh, hahahahaha, ‘How about now?’ That’s a good one. Heheheh…” I failed at the convincing part.

He seemed crestfallen and exclaimed, “Aw, dammit! I knew I should’ve worked more on build up, I’ll have to scrap that joke ‘til later then.”

I then felt guilty for making myself look like an idiot in front of me and… I just felt guilty alright! “Ok, I’m sorry. I actually wasn’t listening the first time. I was caught up in my own head.”

“Heh, sounds like me most of the time. You really are me. Should I tell it again?”

“Actually, I just remembered something. When in my- I mean, your -room, there was an older purple mare who knocked me out. Who was that?”

“Oh, that was my mom. Her name’s Cloudflower. She went out to get the local librarian. She usually knows how to fix a problem like this.”

“Local librarian…? Wait a second, what town is this?” Another idea sprung to mind, this time without the conflicting emotion of fear, just joy.

“Well, I don’t know what you used to call your town, but here it’s called Ponyville.” BOOM! Hear that? That was the door to the padded cell that held the brony in me since I woke up that morning. And at that point, he broke out using the dynamite that Abyx smuggled in through my ears.

“Did you say… Ponyville?” Warning: Imminent Meltdown in 3...

“Uhh… Y-yeah, why? A-are you okay? Y-you got this weird look in your eye.” …2...

“Yeah, yeah. Though, I suggest that you leave and lock this room for 2 minutes.” …1...

“Um… Suuuuurrrree. Why?” …0. Meltdown commencing. Have a nice day.

“Too late! WOOHOO!” I tried to warn him. I ran out the front door, almost tripping over the two dogs still sleeping there, and yelled out to the sky, “HELLO PONYVILLE, EQUESTRIA! JASPER HAS COME AND IS HERE TO ST-!” That’s when I suddenly fell unconscious for no reason whatsoever.


I woke up on the same Celestia damned couch that I woke up on earlier, only this time, I noticed that the sky was now at twilight. What!? Who did that this time?!

My question was answered when the dark purple pegasus mare from that morning- Clowdflower -walked around the corner and called, “Twilight, the spell wore off. It’s waking up.”

Okay, gotta stay cool, calm, collected. Don’t want to freak out over some librarian ma- DEAR SWEET CELESTIA, SHE’S CUTER IN PERSON! *Squee*

She walked in and looked up at me with curious eyes. I guess she wasn’t afraid since she learned that she could take me out easily with whatever she used earlier. I tried my best to hide any squees, grins, or any indication of emotion.

“Uhh… It’s looking at me strangely… Did it ever do that to you?” I didn't do very well.

“Well, no. It actually just screamed at us. Abyx did say it talked to him earlier though.” Whoa, she actually sounds like Mom.

“It talked? You’re capable of speech?”

Yay, my turn for conversation! “Why yes, I am. Now, where is Abyx? It’d be much better if we explained it together, since he understands my situation the best.”

Cloudflower- Should I be calling her Mom? I mean, she’s Abyx’s mom, so that means she’s still my mom right? Maybe I’ll ask once we get this straightened out. -spoke up. “You’re not getting anywhere near my Abe-ey!” *Snicker* Abe-ey! At least my mom never did that to me. “For all I know, you could’ve brainwashed him!”

I was about to retort when Twilight saved me from misunderstandings. “Actually, Mrs. Skybreaker, I scanned him and he seemed fine. In fact, this creature has no magical power at all. But… I did find something in him that seemed weird…”

I cut in before she could elaborate. “Yeah, that's great. So now do you think you could bring him in, knowing I didn’t- and can’t -do anything to him? Like I said, it’d be much easier to explain since he already knows.”

Screw it, Imma call her Mom. She's too much like her. Mom started stammering in frustration. “Wha- But- I- ARGH! Fine! Abyx, you can come in now.”

Abyx came back around the corner, looking slightly peeved. Oh Mom, you never cease to annoy me in any dimension.

“Can you explain everything now?” Mom asked, clearly annoyed. And apparently I don’t cease to annoy you either.

“Sure. Abyx, care to do the honors?” I stood up and gestured to him.

“Nah, I’d rather let you.” He gestured back. He got what I had in mind.

“Why don’t we do this together than, shall we?” I asked.

“Let’s,” he replied.

“*Ahem* My name is Jasper Landers. I’m a human.” I introduced myself

“And you know me as Abyx Skybreaker, the pony.” He introduced himself as a formality.

Then together we both said, “And we’re both inter-dimensional twins!”

THUD. Mom fainted. *Sigh*

A/N: Sorry if this chapter is a bit short. School doesn’t end until… next week, I think? Anyways, leave feedback! I like learning to better myself. So let the criticism roll!