//------------------------------// // Chapter 3: Idea // Story: A misunderstanding // by Element Reading //------------------------------// Celestia was right next to Anon's bed, he was sleeping peacefully in the overly cluttered room, he is a horder. I mean there is barly any room to move, though the smell was actually nice. The only paths are to the door, and closet where he keeps his playbrony mags. She was holding two air horns to each of his ears, the time is 11:58, once it is 12 she would awaken him. The clock struck 11:59 and she got ready to blow the horns, though just as it struck 11:59 an alarm struck, it sounded like the song "PSY Daddy" (I do not, repeat NOT own that song, nor anyone's usage of it in any music video, please don't sue) He grabbed his pillow and slapped Celestia in the face, she went down with a small thud. "Nice try, but I am always one step ahead, remember the fake cake day." She got back to her feet.... ergh hooves? Ya I'm going with that, she got back up to her hooves and used some magic to remove an old burger wrapper from her face. "You really should clean, this isn't going to get you anypony, any time soon." He waved her off as he put his shirt on. "Besides the failed joke, I think I might have a way to get the reporters off us in a very funny way, for us anyway." "Alright Cele, you're gonna have ta tell me this with lunch, I'm famished." Anon's stomach growled, she nodded and threw his some slippers with her magic. They hit is face with a small donk. "Um, ow I think?" He put the pink bunny slippers on, as he put his feet in the made a squishing sound, much like when you put your foot into a wet shoe. "What was that Anon?" He looked at them and replied in a calm tone. "I have no idea." He sniffed them and then licked them, "I don't know, but it doesn't stink, nor am I dead, so, meh." Celestia almost barfed. "Anon that is pure disgusting, blegh." "Hey, all men do it once in their life." She shivered as she walked out of the room He silently said, "Got you, lotion has never been funnier, though I could of used it for a better purpose, like rubbing it on my alligator elbows. What? It's you who thought of it in that way!" 5 minutes later, dining room: Anon walked up to the big ass doors leading to the dining room, he was wearing some 3 day old jeans and a I love tits shirt, basically he got dressed in the dark. He breathed and thought, "I wonder what Celestia is gonna do? And if I can get some god damn real meat steak!" He started to drool as he entered. The room was made out of solid quartz just like the rest of the castle, Celestia was on the right of the table filled with assorted vegetables and fruit on it, "damn it." Luna was on the left eating a carrot, Celestia a carrot cake. They looked and stared at his shirt, "I love tits? Really?" Asked Luna. "Shut up, I got dresses in the dark for your info." He sat down next to Celestia and grabbed the big plate of Grapes. "You do know that we had vegi bacon and regular bacon for you this morning." Celesita said smirking. "F**k you Cele, I need some god damn coffee, I am grumpy and you two know a grumpy Anon, is a bad Anon." The waiter used his magic and brought some freshly brewed Manehattan coffee in a plain white mug. Anon nodded and started to add some creme and sugar. Celestia cleared her throat and said, "Okay so my plan is to put the press all the way to Ponyville. I want to pay Twilight back for the pudding incident, anyway I was thinking that we make it so that she had sex with Rainbow Dash." Anon spat out his coffee and was coughing a bit. "I think this is pure genius!" Anon said. "Good, I have everything we need, we can begin tomorrow." "Why tomorrow?" "Because Discord is at a monster reform conference today, he'll be back tomorrow morning." Anon face palmed and started to eat. The lunch was good, there were salads and fruit, Anon hates salads more then anything else. Though for desert each of them got a mini cake, Celestia got three, Luna talked about how she would get fat if she kept eating those cakes and a fight arose. Anon just sat and watched, but he did take one of Celestia's cakes and hid it under Luna's chair just so he could see what would happen. After lunch Celestia and Luna headed to the throne room, while Anon went to the bar next to the Royal guard barracks. As per usual it was half full of off duty guards, Anon was a marine before he came to Equestia, so they get along like bronies and ponies. (lol) the bar was decently sized, not to big, though it has enough room for 10 tables along with a bar and bathroom. Anon walked up to the bar, it was made out of oak, though it had a lot of cuts and dents from friday night drinking, the stool was steel with a slightly torn red seat top. "I'll take a bottle of Jack Daniels, put it on my tab." The tall 4 and a half foot white unicorn nodded and got to work. Anon sat there and looked around. There were a few a few guards sitting in off duty, two were verbally fighting. So Anon grabbed his booze and walked over to the fight. The two guards looked exactly the same, white with blue hair, male. "What's the problem here fellas?" They looked at him, one replied, "Well this guy thinks Luna's other name is Mia, I think it's Lulu. It didn't start as a fight, though now it has, hey do you know what Celestia call's Luna?" "Ya?" Replied the other guard. "It's Lulu." One of them shouted joyfully while the other could only sigh. "You owe me a beer!" "Ya ya I hear you." Anon asks. "Is there any other questions?" The guards smirk as they ask question after question after question to Anon for hours.