Atalanta suckled contentedly as her mother lay on her side going over the reports. There were clues to glean and pass on to the ponies. They would not understand Taalia's motives unless the queen provided them information. She had no trouble giving over everything she knew about the beastly tiger queen. A lot of ponies were going to die when they confronted her. Every time she looked at a picture of one of the nymphs, her heart broke and she unconciously would nuzzle her daughter and give her a little extra love. Chrysalis found nursing to be remarkably relaxing, put her mind at ease and even making her feel as though she was doing something good for her daughter. The queen had been feeling for the past few days she was not doing enough to protect her daughter from the ponies. The manipulation of Princess Celestia upon her changeling guest was quite profound in the eyes of Chrysalis.
Both mother and daughter shared this intimate moment on the round chair that had quickly become a favorite spot for the queen. Chrysalis found it suited her body perfectly and allowed her to lounge on her side comfortably while giving the sensation of being in a nest. It reminded her of a brief and happier time long, long ago.
Since meeting Mi Amore Cadenza yesterday, Chrysalis had a nagging feeling in the back of her mind that she should feel guilty, even remorseful for her treatment of the Princess of Love, her husband, and even that meddlesome little unicorn Twilight Sparkle. Even more weight had settled upon her mind as the photographs flashed over and over in her memory.
She was so grateful to have Atalanta. Her momentary lapse into melancholy caused her daughter to pause in her feeding to make a worried gurgle with a mouthful of milk. It dribbled from her mouth, down her chin, and falling upon her mother’s leg and blanket beneath it.
Setting aside her study of the reports from the destroyed hive, Chrysalis regarded her daughter with a worried arch of her brows. Curling her neck inwards, the mother nuzzled her daughter reassuringly, chirping quietly and even adding a soft purr. Waves of love washed over Atalanta through her link with Chrysalis. The nymph settled down and resumed feeding, nestling tightly against her mother’s belly as she did so.
Fortunately, feeding Atalanta unerringly put Chrysalis in a rare good mood. It did wonders for the growing bond between mother and nymph. Too bad this sort of bonding could only happen between a queen and her children. Normal changelings simply went from egg to hatchling to nymph without the nursing stage. Queens, she had discovered over the years, had closer ties to their mammalian ancestors than some of the other branches of the animal kingdom changelings seemed to have inherited.
They were an ancient race, having ties to the world seven ages past. It was taught to all changelings it was they who first walked the world when it was young. It was the changeling who first established civilization. It was the changeling to brought magic into the world.
Chrysalis was no longer sure of what she knew or thought she knew.
In the years she spent on this side of the world searching for her own answers, the queen and her hive had found far too many questions instead. In a world where love was scarce and only the strongest gathered the most emotional energy, Chrysalis had found this place...heavenly.
There were no starving changelings on this side of the world. Queens were content with what they had and strived to maintain themselves hidden from the other species, more dominant species. Most of them found themselves near ponies, donkeys, yaks, minotaurs, and even griffons. They imitated them, gathered emotions with relative ease, and only had to remain hidden to reap the benefits. Their only drawback was the choice to remain hidden meant small hives. Broodmothers were unheard of on this side of the world. Changelings colonies and hives behaved in near perfect imitation of their unwitting hosts, emulating them with uncanny accuracy.
Wars were as foreign a concept for changelings as it was for ponies. Chrysalis had discovered queens who had disputes with each other in Equestria held councils, bringing other queens in to hear grievances and render innocence or guilt, as well as an agreed upon punishment.
Equestrian changelings were soft.
Chrysalis reflected the first hive she had come across so many years ago, when she was new to this part of the world and Taalia was a distant memory at the time. It was a small hive, well organized, and its members were...happy.
Content.
Peaceful.
It wasn’t fair. It simply was not fair! The queen of the hive had cowed before Chrysalis, who had come within an inch of ordering the whole colony obliterated. She could not believe it! The hatchlings were fat and full of love, the nymphs ran around, laughing and playing. The adults were comfortable in their work, going about their lives like ponies.
Ponies!
Where was the savagery? Where were the colonial wars? Where were the queens who warred in this land? Things were so different, so alien! At the last moment, without betraying her intent, Queen Chrysalis stayed her hoof from annihilating this Equestrian hive. Instead, she warned the queen of Taalia and began to inquire of the lands before her and beyond.
She was pointed in the direction of the next hive, a queen friendly to this one. All of the queens, Chrysalis discovered, were friendly if not cautious. It made no sense to the queen back then and still baffled her now.
And so, she pressed on with her nomadic hive, learning as they went and picking up on how the local changelings gathered their love. Even without a permanent colony, the hive slowly weaned itself from the brink of starvation. The journey had been a lean one, dangerous. Almost a fifth of her changelings had fallen along the way to various things: the elements, predators, age, injury and accidents.
There was a knock at her door. It was no longer warded, but the room was still under heavy detection spells and dampening fields. They were quite effective, too. The new addition to her quarters were a number of blue gems placed in each corner of the room at the ceiling. They allowed the queen to cast her magic to a certain degree, though prevented her from even attempting combat magic. She had tried once to zap one of the gems and had in turn been shocked by all four gems the moment she began charging.
It had made Atalanta cry. She had been terrified by the sudden zap and the cry of pain from her mother immediately after.
Chrysalis could leave, but she suspected the ponies were up to something. Whenever she did leave her room, six guards followed her everywhere. No longer was she escorted by just one or even two. Six! She was still a prisoner. Even with her horn free of that damnable inhibitor, she still felt as though freedom would continue to be out of her reach.
Atalanta finished feeding, smacking her lips and burping. Her belly bulged, full of milk. Chrysalis had her eyes on the door as it opened. In peeked the last pony she had expected. Such a brave fool!
“Did I come at a bad time?” asked Cadence. The alicorn blinked at Chrysalis as though she had seen the changeling grow two more heads right before her eyes. “Why is it so dark in here?” she asked as she squinted.
“Yes, you did and I love the dark.” grumped the queen moodily. So much for relaxing! “Come to throw more accusations at me?” Even though they’re mostly true. Mostly.
The princess frowned slightly, sighing and hesitated. It appeared as though she did not really want to come in, but she did, but only after visibly steeling herself. “I had a long talk with Aunt Celestia last night,” she began, closing the door behind her. “Even though I think you are a monster and you should be put away for a long, long time, I had some things explained to me in regards to you and your hive.”
Curious indeed she would dare meet the very being who had imprisoned her! Then again, Chrysalis knew she was under far more scrutiny now than she had been under lock and key. Such an interesting turn of events!..and foreboding. Cadence was after something specifically. The queen masked her apprehension carefully. It was a simple thing to do, really.
“Oh?” Chrysalis cleaned up after her daughter with her tongue. She felt the alicorn’s eyes on her as she washed up everything with her forked appendage. Her touch was gentle, especially when she went over the little wings sprouting from Atalanta’s back. The nymph leaned into her mother’s ministrations; a lazy, happy chirp escaping like a meandering song.
“I-I thought perhaps even if we can’t see eye-to-eye and considering our past, that maybe we can focus on the task before us.” Chrysalis looked up, quirking an eyebrow, her face scrunched in confusion.
Ah, so she is very much afraid! “I don’t follow,” she quipped, blinking. Chrysalis inhaled deeply, pushing down the sudden growth of frustration and irritation threatening to explode. The last thing she wanted was to go on a tirade and upset her daughter. Atalanta was impossible to settle down as it was, and feeding her until her little tummy threatened to burst was the only way to get the little one down for her nap. “As it stands, I have nothing to say to you. I took your husband, used him shamelessly, and almost took all of Equestria based on the information he volunteered only after some heavy persuasion on my part. How could you possibly forgive me for that?”
The princess frowned, biting her lower lip. “I honestly can’t forgive you for that,” she admitted. “Nor do I think I will ever forget. But I will move on, if only for the sakes of the innocent who are in the path of this monster that followed you.”
“Pony innocents?” suggested Chrysalis.
Cadence shook her head as she seated herself on the lone love seat in the room without permission. “Not just ponies. Changelings, too. Anypony who might get in her way.” She made herself comfortable, though still could not find comfort in being in the same room as the changeling queen. Chrysalis sensed her unease and tasted the little bit of fear the alicorn was fighting to contain. “What is she like?”
“No creature you would like to meet, I can assure you,” whispered the changeling with a slight shudder. Her look became distant for a moment, shifting to Atalanta, then back to Cadence. “Imagine if you would, a monster who breaks into your home, slaughters your family, your mother right before your eyes, then claims you as her daughter. Then, she raises you through pain and suffering, trying to mold you to be just like her. Any love you might have, she takes, only letting you have enough to stay sane and keep your will to live flickering, but there.”
The alicorn’s intense appearance softened just a touch. “What was your real mother like?”
The question was sudden, unexpected. Luna had never pried, having a very respectable changeling approach of not asking certain questions. Even Celestia had never asked, as she was the nosiest mare in all the world.
“She is a faded memory now,” said Chrysalis dismissively. She began looking at the reports. “Something like this happened to her.” The photos were floated towards Cadence. “Have a look, if you’ve got the stomach. This is what Taalia does. She forages. She restocks her supplies. Raiding a small changeling hive and destroying the colony is just a part of what she is. All though, she did not spare the little ones. At least, none that I am aware of. The destruction was complete. The poor things suffered greatly. Taalia needs hate and fear to feed her Ravagers. She gets it by torturing her captives.”
It was clear Cadence had been brought up in a very protected environment, as her blanched face was any indication. Horror etched itself across her pretty pony face. Her eyes went wide, then squeezed shut when she could look no more. “Take them away!” she pleaded, her eyes brimming with tears.
“The little ones,” Chrysalis droned in a monotone that could not hide her sorrow, “she fed the little ones to the Ravagers and they fed upon their blood, draining them while they were alive. Draining them so they could feed upon their fear and pain even as they sucked the very life from them. And Taalia watched and encouraged them. She considers those monsters of hers her children. The Ravagers came from a twisted broodmother and impressed upon her when they hatched. They were fed hate as eggs, then as hatchlings. Once they became nymphs, they were trained in all ways of killing. They are brutes. They are created to hunt and kill changelings. They are killing machines that know no remorse, no mercy. They fight until they win or are dead or Taalia tells them to stop. They are relentless.”
Imagine her surprise when she looked up and saw Cadence crying silently, staring at the queen with pity. Feeling suddenly awkward, she pulled back the reports and set them aside on the nightstand next to her bed. She was none too gentle when her magic tossed the carelessly. Papers slid from the folder and fell to the floor unnoticed, save for the cursory twitch of an ear at the sounds.
Chrysalis sighed. “You are too gentle for such things, princess. I have dealt with things like that for most of my life. I have too many mistakes I have committed in my wake. I cannot dwell on them, yet they hound me in my thoughts and in my heart. I never hated you.”
“What do you mean?” asked Cadence as Chrysalis floated a box of tissues to her. “Why are you being nice to me, for that matter?”
“Originally, I wanted to approach you openly, with no deception, before your wedding.”
Cadence sobered, blinking as she accepted the tissues. “I don’t believe it. What prevented you?”
“The well established belief ponies are inferior to changelings.”
“Balderdash.”
“I beg your pardon?”
Cadence was heating up. “That is so stupid!” she snapped as she wiped her eyes. She rose her head proudly. “Just because we don’t wallow in gallons and gallons of blood and wade through the bodies of countless thousands does not make ponies inferior. If anything, it makes us far more civilized than savages like you!”
Chrysalis smirked. “Savages. I like that. All predators are savage, my dear Princess of Love. We hunt. We kill. We survive. Such is the nature of predators.”
Cadence opened her mouth to say something, perhaps unpleasant based upon the scowl creasing her lovely features. Chrysalis thought she looked adorable angry. Instead, the look fell away, giving to one of pity. Chrysalis did not like having that look levelled upon her like judgement before a reckoning.
Cadence said, “Why can’t changelings be protectors? You have marvelous gifts. Why can you not use them to help everypony?”
“Everypony. That is your problem. Everypony.” Chrysalis huffed and rolled her eyes. “At least I am open about my speciesism. You hide it behind your lovely veil of Tolerance and Harmony. I have studied your government. I have seen into your citizens. Do you know twenty percent of Equestrian citizens are not even ponies? None of them are represented in almost all of your government positions. You have one griffon mayor in a town populated mostly by griffons. There is little to no integration of the species. Where is the harmony in that, princess?”
“That’s not true!” insisted Cadence.
“Then do the fact checking yourself. I spent nearly three years learning all about you Equestrians through my native changeling contacts. Do it. Prove me wrong. Your hypocrisy is astounding. Your ignorance to your own subjects disturbing.” Chrysalis carefully hid the smug expression that wanted to break through her stony exterior. “At least changelings acknowledge their speciesism. We do not shirk from the truth.”
“All Equestrian citizens enjoy the same laws and freedoms, no matter who or what they are.”
“The more laws you have, the less freedom there is,” retorted Chrysalis.
“That’s—” Cadence stopped herself, as she was becoming riled up. The queen wanted to burst out laughing. “That’s not what I came here to discuss with you. I have questions regarding you and Atalanta. I agreed to help my aunt. I think this will help me as much as it will help you. I want to learn to forgive you, Chrysalis, but you make it so hard. What memories I have with what you did make it even more so. You were and are a horrible creature, but I must be the better mare, if only to help those who cannot help themselves.”
“How...diplomatic,” murmured the queen. “Celestia never asked me if I would give up my daughter to you for any amount of time. My own thoughts were muddled and confused. I found myself in the rare state of indecision and once again, thanks to you ponies, my own choices were made limited. So,” She rounded upon Cadence through the straightening of the shoulders and the proud rise of her neck head, “what would you like to know about caring for a nymph?”
“You would allow me?”
“I have not yet decided. Nymphs are energetic, sleep all of three or four hours in the span of a day, if you are lucky. They are a full time commitment. They are the reason why queens have broodmothers. A queen’s child requires all of her mother’s time while the broodmothers handle the affairs of the hive and the colony. For the next several weeks, Atalanta will be nursing. A nymph feeds many times in a day and must have close, physical contact with the mother while feeding. It is a time of bonding and is very precious. If my dear, precious Atalanta were still a hatchling, then there would be no question the denial I would have given Celestia. Have you ever had a foal suckle from your teats, Cadence?” She smiled broadly, showing the full length of her fangs.
Cadence shook her head. “I have never had the experience. Surely a bottle—”
“Absolutely no bottles! Either you nurse my daughter with your own milk from your own teat with her latched upon it or this discussion goes no further!”
“But I am not lactating!”
“There is a spell to encourage that.”
“You want my first experience with nursing to be with a changeling?”
“She’s the daughter of your husband.”
Cadence stared at the queen helplessly. “You’re a monster.”
“So I’m often told.”
“Aunt Celestia insisted it would be impossible for you to go with her out there and take your daughter with you!”
“I was also told it was impossible to go halfway around the world to seek out an end to the malady that eats away at all changelings,” replied Chrysalis. “You are lucky Atalanta likes you and likes the Cakeslayer.”
Cadence was not a happy mare. “Oh, Auntie, what did you get me into?” she whispered.
“Changing your mind?” Chrysalis asked innocently.
The princess gave her an exasperated snort. “How can anypony hold a discussion with you? You make every conversation a war you think you have to win! You have to impose your will over everything with no compromise!”
Chrysalis sniffed, “I believe I have compromised quite a bit, thank you.”
“The only reason I am even entertaining the notion of my daughter in your hooves is because I gave my word to protect the other hives with my changelings from Queen Taalia,” Chrysalis said evenly. “Everything about the very idea of a changeling royal not at her mother’s side screams against my instincts. No pony has ever had a hoof in being a part of raising a nymph. The only reason why I am even considering is because I want to leave the life I once lived in the past. I have seen how the changelings in Equestria have become. They are fat. They are lazy.”
She sighed deeply, looking down at her daughter. “I find myself envious. This is what I want for my daughter. I want her happy. I don’t want her looking over her shoulder the rest of her life and wondering if a monster is going to take her from me. I want my changelings to have a permanent home, instead of roving the world in search of an answer that might not even exist. Even if my journey ends with my task unfulfilled, I want to ensure a future for my hive and my changelings.”
Cadence doubted her. It was plainly visible in her body language and especially in her eyes.
Chrysalis was torn. “Just...love my daughter, Cadence. I can feel the love you have for her. You love everything indiscriminately. It is in your nature. It is who you are. Don’t trust my words, but trust your own instincts in this matter.”
The alicorn could not find the words to speak.
“If anything happens to me,” Chrysalis went on, “if I don’t return—”
“Do you think you are going to die?” Cadence asked abruptly, angrily. “Just stop.”
“If I don’t return,” Chrysalis pressed through grit teeth, “introduce my daughter to her father. I should think she should know who her father is, at least. I would do it myself, but I think the anger and hatred Shining Armor would have for me would harm Atalanta. You alluded to it when you emulated his emotions through your own. You can carry the emotions of others, princess, and you know it.”
“Auntie won’t let you anywhere near anything dangerous. She just wants you to contact the other changelings and to see the site. It won’t take but a few days and you’ll be back.” Cadence flicked her tail. “Besides, even if something does happen to you, I don’t think too many will mourn your passing.”
Chrysalis gave a thin smile to the princess. “She will,” she said softly, indicating her daughter with her muzzle. “I remember what it felt like when the bond between myself and my mother was broken when she died. It felt...felt like…” The changeling heaved a sigh, one filled with loss over a future that never came to be. What might have been…
No, Chrysalis would still be a slave if her mother had lived. This path had been set long ago. Reflecting upon it did little good.
“I choose hope for my changelings, Cadence. I have had many weeks to think upon this, to think upon you and to think upon Shining Armor.”
Cadence said nothing, but nodded once in encouragement.
“I l—”
“I know. Don’t say it. You think you do. This is one of the few reasons why I even entertained the notion of watching over your daughter.” Cadence heaved a great sigh, as though a huge weight had settled over her graceful shoulders. Her wings fidgeted and she stared at the napping nymph. “I also don’t believe you truly do. I would know. It would be a one sided attachment. He hates you. He despises the very ground you walk on. Did you know my husband sometimes flinches when I touch him? He has nearly struck me out of sheer fear several times. I have to announce myself when I entered the same room as he does. There have been nights I could not share the same bed with him because of his nightmares. You broke my husband, Chrysalis. You. Broke. My. Husband.” Angry tears fell down her cheeks.
Chrysalis said nothing, showed nothing. How could she show shame and weakness before prey? Why was she feeling such remorse? The stallion was nothing to her, nothing but a tool.
Wasn’t he?
But the way he treated Cadence, the way he treated Chrysalis as she pretended to be the princess, had shown her a side of males she was rarely exposed to: a caring, gentle soul full of love and laughter, who had his whole world and heart centered upon one mare.
She tried to speak, feeling herself shrink inwardly from the intensity of the pain directed at her. It made her flesh crawl beneath her chitin.
“Ma?” warbled Atalanta weakly, disturbed by the pain of the princess. She fidgeted and whimpered, no longer comfortable as the love fell away to something unpleasant.
“He won’t touch me,” whispered Cadence, staring at the little pale nymph. A new pang came from her and Chrysalis realized her daughter had her father’s colorations. Pale changelings were rare, but not unheard of. She had never given it more than a passing thought to the changeling belief a pale child was good luck. Cadence had noticed and it was only now coming to bear. How could she have missed that? “I wanted to give him the most precious thing a mare can give her stallion, but he won’t make love to me. It’s been four months, Chrysalis! How could you do that to him or any stallion for that matter?”
An uncomfortable silence, as if it were the dead of night, in a forest, surrounded by fear inducing mist.
“It’s all I know,” whispered the queen sullenly. “Males...they are little more than disposable resources. Most of them are sterile. They are drones. Very few are consorts. Changelings do not have marriage as you see it. A female chooses a male partner and he gives her his seed. There is little past that. She may keep him if he pleases her and is good company. The little ones grow up, often not knowing who their father is. It is our way. As they mature, they are separated and trained to the task they were born to inherit. Breeding males are often officers. Perhaps princes would be the correct term to describe them. They fight for their mares, they breed with their mares when they are chosen. It is a poor excuse, but it is the truth.”
Cadence sniffled and wiped her muzzle with a foreleg. A most unladylike thing to do, especially for a princess. She glared at the queen. “That is still no excuse! You broke his will. You left a shattered mess and I have been trying to pick up the pieces. Your society beliefs do not conform to Equestrian standards of how to treat anypony with decency and respect! If this is how your race is, then I truly feel sorry for how broken a people you all are.”
There was a moment of silence as the two mares glared at each other. It stretched longer and longer as neither wanted to back down from the other. Truly an awkward choice of topics, but both knew it was inevitable. Neither had expected it to happen this soon. Chrysalis had deeply hoped to never have to have this conversation. Now steeped deep in it, she had no choice but to confront Cadence.
It was turning into a very awkward afternoon.
“I could tell you stories,” offered Chrysalis as she tried to calm down Atalanta. “But I doubt they would calm your anger nor soothe your pain. I can offer excuses upon excuses, but they would do little to dissuade the turmoil in your heart. You wage a war against your very nature. You are incapable of hating, due to who you are, but such a feeling stirs within you and you hate it. None of this was what I had wanted. I gave in to my carnal desires. I was wrong to do so. I am a wretch. I am a monster. But I am now a mother. My daughter will not become as I have. I allow her to be in your hooves because I know you have a capacity to love and give love beyond anything a mortal changeling can dare to comprehend.
“It hurts, Cadence. It hurts me to go against everything I was ever taught. I struggle against my pride and my instincts as I try to point my hive in the right direction so they can live without fear from tyrants and monsters. I do not want your forgiveness. What would I do with it? Find peace of mind? I live now for the future of my daughter.”
The queen shifted her daughter until she was in her forehooves and facing her mother. Her legs kicked in the air as she protested and whimpered still. Chrysalis nuzzled her with a sad smile. “My ultimate fate matters little to me. Mark my words, Cadence; Taalia has a plan. It means an ambush. She may not be expecting me nor Celestia, but there will be a fight.”
The pink alicorn barked out an unseemly laugh. “Don’t change the subject! We are going to have this out. I think your daughter has a gift. A gift that calms hearts. I think this makes having discussions like this possible without resorting to shouting or fighting. Haven’t you noticed?”
Atalanta had closed her eyes, gurgling a grumpy gurgle and finishing up with a very large and long yawn. Then, she smacked her lips, pulled her legs up to her body and went grudgingly to sleep.
“Will you love her while I am gone?” asked Chrysalis, giving the alicorn an intent and almost pleading look. “Will she be here when I return?”
Emotions welled up from the princess and lapped at the senses of the changeling queen. Cadence held her eyes for a moment before nodding. “I will love her and she will be waiting for you when you return. I swear it.”
“That’ll do, princess. That’ll do.”
“Just one thing, Chrysalis. A stipulation. I insist upon it.”
“Shining Armor?”
“Yes.”
“I suppose I can’t postpone that, either.”
“Not really advisable, I’d say.”
“If I return, then yes.”
“When you return.”
“Optimistic, eh?”
“Oh, it’s not that. Not at all. I just want you to get what’s coming to you.”
And Chrysalis laughed humorlessly. It was the laugh of a maniacal madmare, which woke up Atalanta. Who promptly had enough of being jostled and assaulted with noise, her nest of emotional love constantly disrupted by the two mares, and began to wail loudly and suddenly.
Both adults shared sheepish grins, even as they pinned their ears against such a sonic assault upon them. Then Chrysalis began the impossible task of calming her daughter, so focused upon her little one to notice Cadence had slid from her seat and glided next to her, offering her own means of quieting upset foals.
Later in her life, Chrysalis would look back and see this was the beginning of the healing, even though there was still a very long and arduous journey ahead of her. Was the pain worth it?
Such a silly question.
“And Chrysalis?” Cadence asked sweetly as she rose to her hooves. She made her way to the door, throwing a measured look at the changeling.
“What?” growled the queen.
“Try to remember your mother. Your real one. She sounds like she would have been a mare worth meeting. I could feel the love you still have for her. Try to get a hold of it. Cherish it. I think it would do you and your daughter a world of good.” And before Chrysalis could reply, the alicorn was gone, the door quietly closing in her wake.