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// Der Berg 
// Story: Ein Deutsher in das Land der Pony 
// by ZyklonBen 
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Hans woke up on the floor of the castle, with everyone he’d met, plus another large, blue pony, standing around looking at him. The Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash had clear looks of guilt on their faces. Hans asked where he was and what happened, and Pinkie explained that she and Dash were going to pretend to kidnap him, but Dash hit too hard, knocking him out cold and giving him quite the stomach injury.
“How could getting hit in the sotmach knock me out?” Hans asked.
“Well, I kicked you in the stomach. You fell backwards and hit your head on the wall and ground pretty hard” explained Rainbow Dash. Hans learned that Anneliese was there too, and that the tall blue pony was Luna, another princess (there were apparently four, but no king or queen). Hans was tired and said he wanted to sleep. Anneliese said she had medical training, that’s why she was there, so she’d share a room with him. Hans refused, but eventually realised he had no other choice, so reluctantly went along with it. At 21:30,they settled in bed. The same bed, because there was only one and Anneliese refused to sleep on the floor. Hans was in no shape to, so they shared the bed.
While Hans attempted to just fall asleep, Anneliese woke him up. Hans asked why she was waking him up at this ungodly hour, and Anneliese replied
“I want to know if what you said was true. Do you really think I am superior to everyone else?”. Of course Hans did not. These things weren’t people, they were ponies. Impossible to truly be Aryan. But, if he could this girl on his side, it would be better than nothing. So sure, she was the best. Hans went on to explain international jewry and communism, but replaced it with the monarchy and princesses. Anneliese swallowed every bit of it. Eventually, she spoke up.
“You...You have really helped me tonight, Hans. I want to talk about this more tomorrow. Please spend the day with me”.
“Ja, ja. That would be OK. For now we must sleep. Guten nacht.”
Frustrated with Hans’ quick reaction to end the conversation, Anneliese rolled her eyes and went to sleep with him.
***
As Hans and Anneliese exited the hotel again, they were confronted by Pinkie Pie, who bounced in front of them. She look at Hans.
“Hey,” Pinkie said “Me and Dash feel bad about hurting you, so we wanted to make it up to you. Can you guys stop by the Castle again? We want to have this party! We’d like it to be tonight. We can have so mu…”
“No,” Anneliese cut her off, “Me and Hans already had plans. I was going to take him up the mountain and show him… the ‘peak lodge’”.
“Hmmm, sounds like quite the evening. We can do it tomorrow then. Have fun!” Pinkie said as she bounced away.
“Was? Where are we going?” Hans asked.
“Up the mountain. I made reservations to go to the hotel on the peak. It’s just lovely”. Anneliese replied.
“OK, I guess. I’d really rather head back to Ponyville”.
“I know, we have tickets for two days from now.”
“We?”
“Yeah! You and I are heading down the day after tomorrow. The others will lag behind a day.”
“Why are du my personal overseer?”
“Because, they trust me with you, and I like you. Let’s just get to the gondola to the top of the mountain”
Hans was made quite uncomfortable by that statement, he definitely wasn’t looking for horse romance here. He pushed it out of his mind and followed Anneliese to the Gondola. The ride up was 3 damn hours long. By the time they got up, it would be 14:45. Hans tried to sleep, but Anneliese kept talking tom him. Their conversations ranged from petty small talk to talk of the conspiracy by the princesses to keep the white ponies down. Anneliese would insert several sexual innuendos into her speech, sometimes followed by giggling, but Hans was only able to pick upon a few, and he assumed they were mistakes, making him chuckle a little. Anneliese interpreted this as Hans throwing her words back at her. This only solidified Anneliese’s plan. She knew that Hans wouldn’t know what the Peak Lodge was, so this was the perfect surprise.
Once they got to the top of the mountain, Hans said “Der Berg ist wunderbar” in admiration of the German-like architecture and sheer size of the mountain. Anneliese was confused, but didn’t care that much. She gave Hans a tour of the area, bought him a small lunch (she didn’t want to “ruin his appetite”), and checked into the hotel with him. Anneliese told Hans to go out onto the town for an hour, and to meet her back at the hotel room at that time. Hans reluctantly obliged, not wanting to piss off his only suitable ally, but also not wanting to spend another hour outside in the tundra that was the top of the Mountain. He just sat down in a cafe for fifty-five minutes trying to decipher the strange text on their newspapers. He headed back into the hotel at 20:03, two minutes ahead of schedule, but he assumed that it would not matter. He was wrong, of course, as a note on their hotel door said “do not enter until 20:05, Hans”. So he sat there staring at the clock, while employees either gave him weird looks or said “good luck”. Hans really thought that they meant “good luck getting home”, maybe one of the ponies was a peice of shit and told the press. He didn’t know. When the clock hit 20:05, he entered the room, only to notice the many lit candles and rose petals leading into the bedroom. “Fuck no” Hans said, realising what was going on. Hans knocked on the door of the bedroom, only to hear Anneliese say “Come on in, Hansy” in a sexual-like voice. Hans made a cross on his heart and walked in, knowing exactly what he was about to see. Hans was greeting by Anneliese in a sexual pose on the bed, rubbing her crotch.
“Nien.” is all Hans could say.
“Come on…” Anneliese said, moving over and shutting the door before Hans could get out, “This may be our one time here. It’s very expensive, you see.”
“What? It’s a shitty lodge on a mountain, I’ve seen better ones.”
“Have you not figured it out? This is a place where you take your special somepony and...you know, “ Anneliese said, raising her eyebrows and lowering her voice.
“Mein Gott, Anneliese, I do not want to have sex with you. Du are a god damned horse. “
“Oh, sure Hans. I’ve picked up on the way you talk to me. I’ve actually listened. And listen, Hans, I want this. You wouldn’t deny a lady’s request, would you?”
“Jesus fucking Christ, I’m going to hell for even being in this room.”
Anneliese wasn’t paying any attention, she pushed Hans over onto the bed and got on top of him. She opened up a drawer, and said “You’ll love what’s in here...in me”. Anneliese got out a very large, phallic object.
Hans had fucking had it at this point. That was the tipping point.Hans got up and pushed Anneliese to the ground. He was getting back to Odessa, but not before killing every fucking horse he found. Anneliese asked why Hans was doing this, and Hans could only say “Shut up, degenerate whore”.