Chapter 4 - Repulsion
* * * *
Somewhere between Canterlot and Ponyville, two figures took a low, level path through the hills, following the train tracks. The sun had been up for what was probably less than an hour, though they had been walking for much longer, as at least one of them was acutely aware.
“Applejack…” Discord gasped, staggering to keep up with her. “Applejack, if Ponyville isn’t… huff around this next bend, I…”
He hadn’t been able to finish that sentence for the past several bends.
Applejack rolled her eyes. “It’s your fault we can’t take the train, Discord.”
“Oh, huff sure… It’s my fault that you… huff… tied it into a… a pretzel. All Discord’s fault… huff…”
“Yes, Discord, it is all your fault. You coaxed me into it! You were goin’ on about how you have to lift both ends, and then you gotta bend the cars a bit to make a tight enough loop and all that. You were obviously tryin’ to get me to picture it in my head.” She shook her head. “I thought this was obvious, but you can’t just do whatever you want and then get mad when ponies try to blame you for it. You deserve this.”
“It was a test. A… huff… a test! It’s not my huff fault you failed! I’m supposed to be teaching you… huff right? Huff… Besides… you fixed it, didn’t you? We could’ve… huff…”
“For the last time, Discord, we can’t ride on trains. It just ain’t safe. We’re lucky nopony was hurt last night.”
“Hmm… Yes…” He tried to chuckle, but it came out more like a cough. “I do… huff… I do applaud your technique, you know… bending space… huff… Managed to keep gravity… huff facing down in every car. You have promise, Applejack.”
Applejack looked over her shoulder. Discord was stumbling along several yards behind her. “Hey! Catch up!” she called.
He groaned. “Slow down… I haven’t… exercised in… huff… ten billion years.”
She sped up slightly. “That how old you are?”
“That’s what… huff… scientists seem to think…” He grimaced helplessly after her. “Oh, Applejack, please stop… Huff… huff… We’ve been walking… huff for hours… huff There’s no water… huff… I’m… huff about to keel over…”
“Stop your bellyachin’. You’ve been sayin’ that for hours.”
With a pitiful moan, he keeled over.
Applejack snorted and continued walking. “Lie there as long as you want, but I ain’t stoppin’ for you.”
“Ca… can’t you just summon some huff, huff water, it’s harmless, just huff a little glass of water, please, I…”
He stopped talking for a moment, breathing heavily as Applejack steadily increased the distance between them.
“I see somepony. It’s… the rainbow one.”
Applejack stopped and looked up. As he said, Rainbow Dash was in the sky, flying in their direction.
“Hey!” Discord made a feeble attempt at yelling. “Rainbow Dash! Come down here!”
The distant shape was beginning to descend. “I think she sees us,” said Applejack over her shoulder. She turned and trotted back to him. “You remembered her name?”
“I have a fine memory for names,” he muttered. “I’m just not in the mood to make fun of the pony who holds my fate in her hooves.”
Rainbow Dash pulled up into a stall and touched down in front of them. “There you two are. Where have you been? Twilight says you were supposed to be in Ponyville eight hours ago.”
“Eight hours?” Discord scoffed. “Is that all?”
Rainbow Dash’s eyes shifted from Applejack to Discord and back again. A smirk grew on her face. “Did you guys walk all the way here from Canterlot?”
“Most o’ the way. The train… had an incident.”
“An ‘incident’, huh? Are we talkin’, like, a chaos magic ‘incident’, or just a Discord ‘incident’?”
Discord scowled up at her. “What, I don’t even have my magic powers anymore and you still want to blame me?”
“So it was your fault then.” Discord glared at her, and she laughed. “Alright, let’s get you two back to Ponyville. Twilight’s been worried sick.” She walked up to Discord and leaned over him. “Do you, uh, need some help?”
“You know what I need?” He pointed up at the sky. “I need you to get me one of those clouds up there. Clouds are made of water, right?” Suddenly, he reached up and yanked her face down to his. “I have been walking all night and haven’t had a single drop to drink.” He pointed at Applejack. “She says she won’t summon me any water! She doesn’t even want to use her chaos magic for something as simple and harmless as that! She thinks it’ll cause some sort of biblical flood or something, I don’t know! So please…” He let go of Rainbow Dash. “Get me a cloud.”
Rainbow Dash raised her eyebrows at Applejack, who surprised herself by shrugging almost sheepishly. “He’ll live. It’s the principle o’ the thing.”
“The principle of the thing. Right…” Rainbow Dash turned a smug grin to Discord. “Well, I’m sorry, Discord, but I’ve got a job to do, too.” She zipped off into the sky and settled on a cloud, letting it sink to a point just above his head. “I’m actually out here to gather these clouds up for a big rainstorm in town later today,” she explained. “I’m afraid I just can’t spare one.”
“Oh, my,” said Discord through gritted teeth. “The hospitality of you ponies. You really are showing me that there’s a better way.”
Rainbow Dash snorted. “Yeah, hospitality. We tried that.” She leapt to the ground, kicking dust in Discord’s face. “Come on. Let’s get back to Ponyville.”
“Fine. But somepony is going to have to carry me.”
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes and began to walk away.
“Hey!” called Discord after her. “Hey! Don’t ignore me!” He sighed. “Fine. Applejack?”
With a shake of her head, Applejack followed after her friend.
“Oh, come on!” After a few moments, Discord reluctantly got up, making a show of grunting and quaking for no one in particular. “You athletic types don’t know what it’s like to be out of shape,” he muttered, and began to plod along after them.
* * *
“Ahh!” Discord slammed his glass down on the table with a satisfied thunk. “Thank you, Pinkie Pie. I feel much more like my old self again after some lemonade and… whatever this sugary stuff is. What is this, anyway?”
“Funnel cake!” said Pinkie Pie cheerfully. “I’m glad you like it! Funnel cakes rule!”
“I have to agree with you there. I’ve never actually gotten to taste food before, of course, so I don’t have much of a point of reference. I suppose you’ll be missing out on things like this from now on, Applejack. A real shame.”
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “Yeah, Discord. She got the short end of the stick. You just keep telling yourself that.”
“I will, thank you.” He looked around the cheerful little bakery. “Sugarcube Corner…” he said to himself. “I’ll have to come back here some time. So!” He clapped his hooves together. “Judging by your eagerness to leave me behind in the harsh, grassy Equestrian outback, Rainbow Dash, I take it Princess Celestia hasn’t told you ponies the big news!”
Pinkie Pie gasped. “Big news? What big news? Is it exciting?”
“Very exciting!” said Discord. Applejack sighed as he put his foreleg around her shoulder. “Applejack and I…”
“Ooh! Ooh!” Unable to contain her enthusiasm, Pinkie Pie drummed her hooves on the table. “Are you getting married?!”
Rainbow Dash gagged and coughed up a second cherry onto her ice cream sundae. Applejack pushed Discord away. “No, Pinkie.”
Discord cleared his throat. “Yes, that’s… not quite it. I was going to say… we’ve traded jobs!”
Pinkie Pie raised an eyebrow at Discord’s slightly forced grin and turned to Applejack. “Really? You’re putting Discord in charge of Sweet Apple Acres?”
Discord deflated. “Just how dense are you ponies?”
“They’re not dense, Discord. How hard is it to say…” Applejack sighed. “…Fillies and gentlecolts, say hello… to the new Element of Honesty.”
Discord waved. “Yes, that’s me.”
“Oo-oo-ooh!” Pinkie Pie bounced up and down like a jackhammer. “That is exciting! Discord’s one of us now, Rainbow Dash! Isn’t that exciting?!”
Rainbow Dash looked like someone had offered her a heaping plate of snail entrails. “Discord? Honesty? Who the hay decided that?”
“That would be your friend here.” Discord slapped Applejack on the back.
Rainbow Dash looked to Applejack for confirmation. Discord looked offended.
“Look, now, who’s the Element of Honesty here? Are you going to trust the pony who just lost the job over me? Please!”
Applejack sighed. She had found herself doing that a lot lately. “Technically, Rainbow Dash, yes, the choice was mine. But my chaos magic went off the rails and made the choice for me.”
“Huh! ‘Your’ chaos magic? Sounds pretty fishy to me.” She glared at Discord.
Discord laughed. “What, you think I made her choose me? Why in Equestria would I do something like that?”
“I know why you would do it!”
All eyes turned to Pinkie Pie’s cheerful face.
She raised her hooves in a more energetic version of a shrug. “Because now that you’re an Element of Harmony, you get to be best friends with all of us!”
Rainbow Dash and Discord gave each other a look of mutual understanding across the table.
“Yes,” said Discord. “Exactly.”
Rainbow Dash opened her mouth to reply but was interrupted by forceful jangling as the door was shoved open.
“Applejack! Discord!” said Twilight breathlessly. “I heard you were here. Thank goodness. Where have you been?”
“Walking all the way here from Canterlot,” said Discord sourly.
“Only most o’ the way,” Applejack corrected him.
“Sheesh. Did something happen to the train?”
“Applejack happened,” said Discord.
“It was not my fault,” said Applejack. “Nothin’ too bad happened, anyway. It’s probably a good thing, in fact. It made me realize that me ridin’ on a train just ain’t safe yet. Especially with Discord.” Discord snorted.
Twilight took a seat at the table, nodding. “Safety first. That’s good. Princess Celestia sent a letter telling me you’d be on the train arriving at 11:30 last night, so you can probably see why I was a little worried.” She gave a harried laugh. “She didn’t mention the reason you and Discord, ahem… disappeared into thin air with no explanation and apparently ended up in Canterlot Castle discussing something extremely important with her and Princess Luna. Would you mind filling me in?”
“Oh, boy! Can I tell her?” Pinkie Pie turned to Applejack, who shrugged. “Okay! Twilight, I’d like you to meet… the newest Element of Harmony!” With a sweeping gesture, she smacked Discord in the face.
“Oww… Yes, hello. That’s me,” he said.
Twilight’s jaw seemed to have come unhinged. “What?” she managed.
“It’s true,” said Applejack. “Discord’s the new Element of Honesty. You’ll have to get used to it.”
“But… but… what, what about you, Applejack? Why can’t you be the Element of Honesty? And, and how could Discord possibly be an Element of Harmony? ‘Discord’ and ‘Harmony’ are literally opposites! How could Discord be the Element of Honesty, for Celestia’s sake? Discord promised he’d fix your farm if Fluttershy promised not to use the Element of Kindness against him. That was a lie! And the first time we faced him, he lied about the Elements being in the maze! Lying is all he ever does!”
“I’m right here, you know,” he muttered. “And I never lied about the Elements being in the maze. You were just too stupid to figure out my riddle.”
Twilight put her hooves on her forehead and slammed her face on the table. “Aaaauuuuugh! I can’t believe this! The fate of Equestria is this guy’s responsibility now?!” She leaned back and took a deep breath, then planted her hooves firmly on the table. “What. Happened?”
Applejack sighed. “I couldn’t be an Element o’ Harmony anymore after I got Discord’s powers. It was some kinda special case, so I had to choose the new Element of Honesty.”
“And you chose him?”
“It was an accident, Twi. My new powers got outta control, and, well…” She sighed even more deeply. “I blew it.”
Pinkie Pie laughed. “No, you didn’t, Applejack! I think you chose perfectly!”
Four very confused faces turned to her.
She shook her head, looking around at them amusedly. “Come on, Twilight. Don’t you remember the first day you spent in Ponyville, before you found out you were the Element of Magic?” She laughed. “You were so grumpy!”
Twilight looked away sheepishly. “I was having a bad day.”
“Still, the Elements of Harmony are what brought most of us together!” She put her foreleg around a very surprised Discord. “It’s up to us to show Discord the true meaning of friendship! And I can’t think of anyone who needs that more than him. There are so many adventures ahead of us! We can play games and have slumber parties and save the world together! I can’t wait!”
There was an exchanging of uneasy glances.
“But,” said Twilight hesitantly, “honesty?”
Pinkie Pie held Discord at arm’s length and studied his face intently. “Yeah,” she conceded. “That’s the hard part.”