"You're absolutely sure he'd do this kind of thing? I mean..."
"Father, I'm ABSOLUTELY sure."
Mettaton was more than JUST a television star, more than JUST a delightful and charming daytime radio host. No, when he wasn't doing that, he had his own boutique, just like he had his own shop in Ponyville, and on special occasions the big man himself would come into Canterlot to give certain lovely beauties the attention they deserved. The walls were a yellow shade, with regal, splendid ivory tiles beneath and a crystal chandelier hanging above, and a fountain with Mettaton's own body spraying out water in the center of it all, ponies talking to each other as they were waited on by his employees. One of whom, the secretary, walked towards them.
"You're here for your 10:00?" The blue-haired, black-furred stallion asked. His hooves were wrapped in what appeared to be linen bandages, as if he'd endured extensive burns or wounds on them, and he had a lovely-looking necklace with a Chariot wheel upon the silver crest he wore, his dark blue eyes gazing the two over as he politely bowed.
"Why yes, Shinedown. How nice of you to get dressed up in a CAPE." Rarity admitted, clasping her hooves together and smiling warmly at the Changeling-blooded Earth pony. Shinedown was a quarter Changeling, one of his parents a half-breed, and it gave him a deep black, slick sheen to his fur.
"Oh, Mettaton makes all his secretaries wear capes." Shinedown T. Mare remarked. "Not that I mind, actually. Black and red looks good on me." He added as he swept it back. "He insists it will improve morale and make us all look resplendent. Is it working?"
"I'd say so." Rarity said with a smile. "And is that cologne I smell on you?"
"Oh, well..." Shinedown nodded again and slightly blushed. "Also another little touch. The small things all add up." The half-blood intoned before he made his way into a doorway with a glass window at the front in the shape of Mettaton's face. And a few minutes later...
"Ta daaaaaaa!"
Mettaton strode out to greet them, Rarity's father nervously taking off his straw hat as the moustachioed stallion nodded politely at the star of the Underground. And Mettaton was quite...the sight. Distinctly human with flowing black hair carefully stroked in just the right way so as to sexily cover one side of his face, a slender yet mighty body showing off sleek mechanical muscles on a black and purple and pink-armored form. A line ran down one side of his face from his eye, representing a "segment" of his head which, in a pinch, could pop off so Mettaton could pull out some lipstick and facial cream, and of course, the dazzling hot pink pupils...
Yes, Mettaton was indeed a sight to behold.
"Dear Rarity, how good to see you!" He proclaimed, sweeping forward, shaking her hoof. "I've gotten the scented bath and candles all ready for you."
"Then the massage?"
"Without a doubt. My magic fingers can make anyone swoon." Mettaton said, flexing his fingers in the air, as he stuck his tongue out slightly. "And ohhhhh myyyyy. What have we here?" He asked, looking Rarity's father over as the Earth pony visibly blushed, Mettaton shaking his hoof as well. "You must be the stallion who played Magnum, the Pony Investigator. I've seen all of your episodes, good sir, after your daughter sent them to me. A musical murder mystery show...QUITE enthralling if I do say so myself! And you have quite the pipes on you!"
"Ahh, yes. I do. And I was quite the looker in my day." Hondo remarked sheepishly, giving Mettaton a nod.
"You still ARE. And you, good sir, will FEEL like one once more when I'm done with you." Mettaton promised, Rarity giving her father a big hug, purple mane bouncing a bit before she headed into a nearby golden-rimmed doorway, waving goodbye as Shinedown led her to the bath chambers. Mettaton led Hondo into another nearby doorway, where a large barber's chair laid, complete with resplendant royal red cushions, and shelves stuffed with the most delightul scents, shaving creams and other tools of a stylish's trade. "Now please, tell me the occasion! You wouldn't have asked to come with your daughter unless it was something VERY special. I doubt a mere trim is what you want."
"Well..." Hondo sighed wistfully, Mettaton's suave voice beginning to charm him over as he glanced to the side before thinking of his wife and smiling wistfully. Ahhh...his widdle Cookie. "It's my wife and I's anniversary tomorrow. And I wanna look my best for her." He said, as his wife's image flashed before his eyes, and he found himself beginning to softly sing as he put a hoof upon his chest.
"You see sir a man infatuated with love, her ardent and eager slave!
So fetch me the pomade and pumice stone, and lend me a more seductive tone,
a sprinkling, perhaps, of nice cologne, but first sir, I think..."
He rubbed over his chin, and gave a smile.
"A shaaaaaave."
"The closest I ever gaaaave." Mettaton agreed, helping Hondo into the chair as he began to cheerily whistle.
"You're in quite the merry mood, Mettaton." Hondo admitted as Mettaton put some shaving cream upon the stallion's face in just the right places after draping a cover over the pony to keep anything from dripping down.
"Tis your delight sir, catching fire from one man to the next!"
"How good that love can still inspire a man to sing like heavenly choirs, what more than Love could man require?"
"More than love, sir?"
"What's that?"
"Women!"
"Ah, yes, women..."
"Pretty women..." Mettaton sighed wistfully, clapping his hands, one of them shifting into his arm before becoming a swiss-army-knife of contraptions that shifted from a can opener to a frying pan to, at last...a shaving razor as he carefully began to trim the little hairs that were threatening to become a beard on Hondo, soon moving on to a careful trim of the moustache before it was time to take care of the mane.
"Pretty women...fascinating...sipping coffee...laaaaughing! Pretty women...are a wonder...pretty women!"
"Sitting in the window or standing on the staaaair! Something in them...chiiiiills the aaaaaaair!"
"Have you ever met a special someone?" Hondo inquired.
At this, just as he was snipping at the pony's mane, Mettaton flinched a bit, the scissor-hand he now trembling slightly as a realization sadly sank in. No. No, he hadn't, except for maybe...
"There was something of a time when I thought maybe..." Mettaton began to quietly murmur. "...but that was a long time ago. She has a girlfriend now."
"Ahh. Guys don't do no more for her, huh?" Hondo admitted with a sigh. "Who is it?"
"Undyne."
"Oh. OH!" Hondo's eyes widened in surprise at this as Mettaton got back to clipping his hair. "Her? Wow. Isn't she currently head of Asgore's Royal Guard? She must have hundreds of men who'd want to go out with her."
"Oh, they would, and when they heard the news she was taken, it was indeed devastating, I can tell you." Mettaton remarked with a wry smile, thinking back to when they'd exited the Underground and Alphys and Undyne's first public date, the two sitting happily across from each other in the sunlight on a park bench...
Undyne suddenly noticing very, VERY dejected-looking monsters mournfully gazing at her from across the way.
"Wait, you and...her?" Aaron the Mer-Horse asked, the muscular-armed man stunned by what he was seeing grasping his head in surprise, mouth agape. "But she's got no muscles!"
"Wow, this IS a shock." A stunned bunny monster remarked as he scratched his head, blinking in surprise as Lesser Dog, one of the Royal Guardsman, mournfully groaned, other monsters sighing sadly in regret as they hung their heads, dejected.
"Noooo." Lesser Dog murmured.
"Sorry, guys. I'm taken." Undyne said with a smirk.
"Well this sucks!" Aaron groaned, he and the others all nodding in agreement, their frustrations clear as day.
"Well I never thought it'd end like this...just because I got no tits!"
"I'll shave my legs!" Bunny Boy begged, lifting up a pant leg.
"I'll wear a bra!" Aaron offered.
"I'd even cut my penis off for you!" Lesser Dog proclaimed.
"Ohhh, that's so sweeeeet." Undyne admitted as she gave them a nod before shaking her head. "But no, guys. Sorry."
Alphys, of course, could not stop smiling.
"I know how she felt. I've had the "Great and Powerful Trixie" coming on to me for quite some time, ever since I came to your world." Mettaton sighed as he shook his head back and forth. "She's talented indeed but...SOOOO full of herself. I wish someone would knock her off her high horse."
He grinned. "Pun intended."
"She's been that bad, huh?"
"Standing outside my window, playing guitar, launching fireworks..." Mettaton went on as he kept a snip-snip-snipping Hondo's hair. "it was impressive until one WENT RIGHT THROUGH MY WINDOW. And there went the bedsheets. And NOT in the way I wanted!"
Meanwhile, unbeknownst to Mettaton, Rarity knew someone WAS interested in him in that special way. And so as Shinedown lit up some more candles for her in the deep blue bath room, bubbles bouncing about the surface of the water, she cleared her throat.
"How long have you been trying to get his attention?"
Shinedown slightly stiffened. "Um...whatever do you mean?"
"I've BEEN to his store in Ponyville. He has a secretary there too. And they don't wear a cape. Nor do they wear cologne that just so HAPPENS to be Mettaton's favorite brand that he's always wearing for special occasions when he goes to say hi to us in Ponyville." Rarity remarked. "And if that wasn't enough, I could tell from how you talked about him...you're smitten."
"Yeah, well...it wouldn't be the first time the mecretary got the guy. Oh. Wait. It would." Shinedown sighed mournfully as he shook his head back and forth, Rarity easing herself into the bath as she frowned a little.
"You're too hard on yourself, darling. Being a male secretary isn't anything to be ashamed of. We all have to pay the bills. Just because you're one it doesn't mean Mettaton would never like you!"
"My sister Trixie said it was a stupid idea to go for Mettaton. That someone like me wouldn't be able to get him to notice me. That I should play it safe. Besides, not a lot of ponies like..." He cringed. "INKBLOODS like me." He grumbled. "I was amazed Mettaton HIRED me. Nowhere else in Canterlot would take me, I've been bounced out of job after job."
"Trixie T. Lulamooon just doesn't know what she's talking about. As usual." Rarity sighed. "Now I want you to go to him and tell him how you FEEL. Just be HONEST."
"I'll try." Shinedown said, heading out the doorway, his heart aflutter, ready to march into that door, look Mettaton in the eye and-
Uhoh.
"Well, well! Hey there, brother." Trixie said with a little mischievous grin, sitting on the fountain's edge. "I'm here for my 10:15 appointment."
"...you used a fake name just to show up and surprise me at my workplace?" Shinedown quietly asked as Trixie sniffed the air.
"And you're using HIS cologne? You really think you can get him to like you?" Trixie inquired, waving a faint blue hoof in the air before flipping her light blue hair about, Shinedown sighing as he escorted his sister to a nearby chair for her massage. "He's a show biz personality. He would want someone with pizzazz, razzle dazzle. You're just not out there enough. You don't have the theatricality I do. You're not...FAMOUS enough for him to be attracted to you."
"I could get him to go on a date with me before YOU!" Shinedown insisted, now feeling an edge of anger creeping into his voice.
"Oh? Care to bet on it?" Trixie asked, extending a hoof. "You win, you get to have my new, fancy, improved wagon. But if I win, I get to use you in my next stage act for ANY MAGIC TRICK I WANT."
A pause, but then Shinedown took the hoof and shook.
"It's a BET." He insisted, heading off for Mettaton's personal styling room, Hondo walking past him as Mettaton followed after, taking notice of Shinedown.
"Oh! You're looking nice today." Mettaton admitted politely. "And you're smelling nice too."
"Thanks, I actually kinda wanted to talk to you about some-"
"In a minute, deary, I've got customers to cater to. Ta ta for now!" Mettaton said, leaving him behind as Shinedown sighed, Trixie's sniggering echoing not too far away as an Earth pony massaged her calf muscles. How was this going to work?
...
...
...
..."I'll! Be! There! For! You!"
"I wish you'd do the OPPOSITE." Mettaton muttered as he slammed the door to his boutique shut, ignoring Trixie's guitar playing as he clasped his hands over his heads and flopped into a chair, sighing. "WHY does she not go away? It's like she's obsessed with me. I mean..." He put a hand on his chest. "Who WOULDN'T be obsessed with me? But still..."
Shinedown saw his chance. He was the only employee left in the building. Approaching Mettaton, he nervously cleared his throat. "Um...Mettaton?"
Mettaton turned his head. "Yes?"
"Just be honest. Just be honest."
"Uh...you know, I really appreciate you giving me a job here and...you've always been incredibly CONSIDERATE and...what I'm trying to say is..." Shinedown began to say before he flinched, hearing Trixie had gotten out the SPARKLERS and the roman candles outside.
"Awaken, sweet pea, to the morn! And to my love! So crisp! So warm!" She proclaimed.
"Look." Shinedown said, sighing. "I made a bet with my sister Trixie that I'd go out with you first, before she did. And if I win I'm gonna blow up her wagon right in front of her and make her watch."
Mettaton was quiet for a moment. Then...
"Darling!" Trixie proclaimed, sliding through the doors of the boutique, hooves holding up sparklers as magic letters spelled out "Go Out With Me" over her head as she beamed...
Only to see Mettaton had scooped Shinedown up in his arms and the two were grinning stupidly at her. "Oh. Trixie. Your brother and I were just about to get a nice brunch together."
And POOF. The sparklers shut off, Trixie's mouth gaping as the letters above her faded to grey and fizzled out, Mettaton and Shinedown making their way past her. Well. This had been easy!
Or at least, so Shinedown thought.
...
...
...
..."Heh-heh-heh. Whaddya think?" Shinedown asked Rarity as he showed off HIS new wagon, gesturing at it with a hoof, Rarity sighing as she bit into her lip. "I'm going to paint it dark blue to match my eyes."
"You didn't tell him the truth, did you?" Rarity quietly said. It was not a question. It was an accusation, and Shinedown flinched as she looked into his eyes.
"It all worked out in the end, so what's the problem?" The Earth Pony asked the Unicorn as he shrugged a little, walking across the parking lot just outside of Mettaton's boutique to pat the wagon on its side.
"The problem is you weren't honest. I understand telling a little white lie to not break someone's heart. Sometimes people need to do that, despite what Applejack might think. Things like..." Rarity waved a hoof in the air. "Oh, I'm SUUURE she'll grow into that jacket! Oh, THANK you for the sweater, Aunt Gertrude, it's JUST what I wanted, you shouldn't have. You REALLY shouldn't have." She muttered, trailing off and glowering slightly.
"I get it, I get it. But it's fine. I'm okay with this." Shinedown muttered, waving a dismissive hoof in the air. "I'll find another time to tell Mettaton how I feel."
"Oh, well he's coming this way now to open up the boutique." Rarity remarked, turning her head as Mettaton strode along the sidewalk, humming and singing a little to himself as he had some headphones on, eyes closed as the sun reflecting nicely off his abs. Ohhh. Those abs.
"Well you can tell by the way I use my walk, I'm a woman's man! No time to talk!"
"Ohcrapcrapcrap-uh...I...um..."
Shinedown then did something very stupid, quickly shoving the wagon behind the boutique, then racing to the front door to wait for Mettaton as Rarity stood in shocked silence. "So! Did Trixie give you the wagon?"
"Um...n-no, actually, she...she said she wanted proof. She wanted to see us go on an actual date. Tonight, at eight. That way she'd KNOW we're doing it." Shinedown said quickly, throwing up his arms in a shrug. "Ahh, family. Whatcha gonna do?"
"I know how you feel." Mettaton sighed. "My cousin, Napstablook, could get kind of like that. Only he's more passive-aggressive than aggressive-aggressive like your sister is."
"Wait, Napst-" Shinedown blinked slightly. "Then...is your name not really "Mettaton"?" He found himself asking. "Is it a "Blook"?"
"Well, yes. It's Hapstablook, but, uh...don't tell anyone." Mettaton admitted, putting a hand on his chest. "I kind of chose this new name when I got my new form you see before you." He intoned, feeling over his chest and grinning in delight. "I was reborn, as it were. A new me! My old name's deeply personal, not just for anyone to know."
"I understand. So, um...tonight at eight? The nice new "Canterlot Cusine" place they opened up?" Shinedown offered.
"Absolutely. But come, come, we've customers to prepare for!" Mettaton insisted, opening up the doors to the boutique, Rarity slowly shaking her head back and forth as Shinedown walked inside after Mettaton, sighing in disappointment.
And so, sure enough, at the end of the day the two were sitting at a table with light blue blankets over it, romantic candles lit as Mettaton talked a mile a minute about his family and growing up as a ghost, Shinedown listening all the while as he munched on a breadstick, head bobbing in agreement.
"You would not believe how...how intensely amazing it felt, having a new body. Then again, you're part Changeling." Mettaton admitted with a nod of his head. "So perhaps you might."
"It isn't easy, being a...y'know." Shinedown sighed. "An "inkblood"." He mumbled. "A lot of ponies still don't like Changelings because of what Queen Chrysalis did not too long ago. Not even having a truce with her kinda eases up on that distrust."
"Can you yourself change color? Appearance?" Mettaton asked as Shinedown cleared his throat.
"Well, I can melt into the shadows if I concentrate. But what I'm most good at...is voices, darling." He said, giving Mettaton a grin and pulling off a perfect imitation of the humanoid robot as Mettaton gasped in surprise.
"Oh my! That's simply amazing! Why did you not tell me that you could imitate voices so perfectly?"
A slight shrug. "You never asked." The Earth pony admitted. "I mean, it's not as useful as full changing of your body, it's mostly just a party trick."
"Well, I think it's very impressive. Can you really do anyone?"
"If I've heard their voice before." Shinedown said, clearing his throat. "Like, for example, Princess Luna, who's voice is MOST regal and impressive when she so desireth!" He proclaimed, waving a hoof in the air before resting his head on his hooves and blinking his eyes, switching his voice again. "Or me, Rarity! The belle of the ball. I bring aaaall the boys to my yard with my charm and wit." Then he flexed his arms, huffing a bit. "Or ME! Iron Bull! With a body so hot, you could EAT OFF IT! HOO!"
"I could think of a few things you and I could do with a voice like that." Mettaton chuckled a bit, a waiter coming by to pour them another glass of wine. And as the night went on, their laughter echoed out through the night as they made their way down the sidewalk...
Running into Trixie, who frowned at the two.
"Oh. Look who it is." She muttered. "I was in such a good mood, JUST came back from a nice play to get my mind off things, and here you two are. Enjoying my wagon with your honey bunch?" She asked Shinedown, waving a hoof in the air as Shinedown flinched, Mettaton frowning a bit at him.
"Wait, didn't you say you wanted to see us on a real date before you gave him your wagon?"
"OH! MY! GOODNESS. You TRICKED him onto a date with you!?" Trixie laughed, hooves flying to her mouth, giggling madly as Shinedown hung his head, Trixie wiping a tear from her eye as she smirked. "That is just too good, I can't...oh, I wish I could have SEX with this moment, it's so beautiful! And I'll be taking my wagon key back. And you will be showing up in my magic act tomorrow. You better hope your cape is waterproof. Not cuz there's a chance of rain. I'm bringing a giant hose and launching you out of it over a tank of sharks."
Shinedown reached into his belt pouch, tossing the wagon key to Trixie as she caught it with a snigger and trotted off down the sidewalk, grinning in delight as Mettaton held his face in one hand, sighing as his voice got low.
"You have really...really disappointed me." He muttered, taking off across the street before Shinedown's voice called out, halting him in place on the dimly-lit marble-paved road.
"You're the only employer that didn't treat me like a THING."
Mettaton stopped, slowly turning around, blinking in surprise. "What?"
"Every other employer got me fired every time something bad went wrong just because I was a changeling. And most of the other employees hated me or distrusted me because of what I was. I would always be blamed because everyone EXPECTS changelings to be lying, manipulating emotion suckers. So I'd go from job to job, bottling everything up, just being miserable." Shinedown quietly murmured, head hung low. "And you were the first employer who didn't see a Changeling when you looked at me. You just saw ME. And this morning was the first and only time I've ever lied to you. And it was just because I wanted to go out with you. I kinda always have because of everything you've done for me. Because you see me as a person. Not just one of "them"."
Mettaton brushed some of his hair back, and now Shinedown could see both pink eyes gazing back as Mettaton shrugged a little and smiled. "You know what? It's...it's alright. Truth be told, I've done much, MUCH worse to the people I cared about. And actually, I..." A blush. "I actually kind of had a lot of fun tonight. See you tomorrow, Shinedown. Take care of yourself."
"You too..." Shinedown said softly, Mettaton striding down the sidewalk as he rubbed the back of his neck and smiled a little.
"...Hapstablook."