Married with Children was filmed before a live studio audience.
The familiar sound of "NO BRAKES! NO BRAKES! NO BRAKES!" was quickly followed by the other ritual noise of the family Dodge crashing into the back of the garage. To any other family, this would be a cause for alarm, a cause for paramedics but for the Bundy household, it was a cause for celebration.
Peggy and her two children Bud and Kelly looked deeply into each other's greedy, sinister eyes. "Dad's home!" they giggled simultaneously. Rather than immediately rushing for the garage, the phone or anyone that could help, they simply waited for their father to come in, regardless of what physical or mental state he may be in.
A moment later, Al Bundy, the father, the husband, the man of the house, entered his domain to continue with the rest of his daily ritual. He stepped through the door, smoke pouring in with him and quickly rising to the ceiling. "You know, I was just thinking on the way home, how it's so nice to come home to a family that really loves and cares for its father," he said, frowning.
"Aww," Peg cooed, walking over "it's nice to see you home, too, sweetie."
"We're happy to have you back home, dad!" Bud followed her.
"It's the best part of our day, daddy!" Kelly said and the three of them hugged their father.
Al's expression remained unchanged; he'd seen this before. "Who said I was talking about this family? Get off, get off, you bloodsucking leeches," he shooed them away. "I don't have any money left anyway so pack it up. Begone."
The wife and children released him and walked away like he was a complete stranger. They each let out mutual groans and sighs of disappointment.
Peggy's misty-eyed and heartwarming smile, a well-practiced facade, vanished in an instant, replaced by her natural expression- a scowl of both judgment and disdain. "Honestly, why do you even bother coming home if you don't have any money?"
Al took his traditional spot on the couch. "Oh, well, you see, I eventually get tired of getting treated like garbage all day at work and decide to come home so I can get treated like garbage by my family. I just like the change of scenery is all," he said, sarcasm heavy in his voice.
"I think we could all use a change of scenery," Peggy remarked. "Why don't you ask for a raise, some time off or a paid vacation?"
"Because I know what I'll get for an answer: laughter followed by "You're fired."," Al said.
"But I wanna go out," Kelly whined.
"Come on, dad," Bud encouraged, "you just said you wanted us to be more like a loving and caring family. So, take us out and buy us things. Then we'll give you all the love and caring you can handle," his son said, overflowing with false affection.
"The car's destroyed. It's as broken, tired and worthless as I am," Al said. "Apart from selling my vital organs, how do you propose we get money?"
"Well, they say you really only need one kidney," Bud said.
"Yeah, daddy," Kelly agreed enthusiastically. "And my ex-boyfriend Stabwound says you can get a lot of money for a liver. Maybe you could sell one of your extra livers."
"See, Al?" Peggy said. "And you didn't think we had any options."
Al glared at all of them. "I have a better idea. Why don't we just take a trip on our own couch right here at home?"
Kelly's eyes lit up with excitement. "Can the couch fly?!"
The father just smiled back at his very special daughter. "It can do better, pumpkin," he held up the remote control for the t.v.
Bud rolled his eyes. "I see where this is going."
The four of them sat back on the couch, Al genuinely smiling for the first time since walking in the door, and turned on the television. "Let's watch something new… oh, look what's coming on!"
"And now back to Dan Vs. The Magic of Friendship! Only on FOX!"
"Huh," Al said. "That explains a lot, actually."
Dan Vs. The Magic of Friendship was filmed before a bribed studio audience.
Dan's chariot crested the final hill approaching Ponyville. The colorful buildings were already visible in the distance like a painting of the town itself on the horizon. They all smiled when they saw it; each of them knew that there was no bad angle you could paint Ponyville from. The little city in the center of Equestria was one of the happiest places on the planet. To everyone and everypony, it felt like coming home.
"There it is!" Dan announced, revving the chariot faster. "Home at last, home at last!"
"It'll be good to get back to the library," Twilight said, relieved. "Just to know everything's safe… we really left in a hurry."
"Yeah," Spike agreed. "We didn't even tell anyone we were going. Not that we had the chance to, but still."
"Isn't the library's security system supposed to protect it?" Phoenix asked. "I remember Vice turned off the interior part… but what about the exterior?"
"The whole thing was shut down," Dan said, grumbling. "It's one more thing I'll have to fix. When we get home."
"It won't be a problem," Twilight assured Dan. "After all, we have a lot more help now!"
Her brother, Prince Shining Armor and his wife Princess Cadence both smiled. "Anything you need, Twily. We're here for you now."
Twilight smiled back at them. She was very happy her family was joining her, especially after what happened in the Crystal Empire. She would do anything for them and they for her but the distance between them had always been a problem. Now, they would face the future together and get Equestria back on track once again.
"That's great," Dan said, "You think they can help us fix the chariot?"
"Fix it?" Twilight asked. "It seems to be working fine. Why would we need to fix it?"
Dan shrugged. "Oh, I'm just guessing we'll probably need to fix it a little after we crash."
"CRASH?!?!?!?!"