//------------------------------//
// The Hunt 
// Story: Starbound 
// by Rytex 
//------------------------------//


Starbound
Chapter 08 - The Hunt


Three months had passed since they had first arrived on Terra Stella, two months since the armor was finished, and a month and a half since the repairs on the Enterprise had finally finished.  No progress had been made in the last ninety days.

Not for want of trying.  They had been attempting to procure a Starmap of Sector Delta, but they had been… unsuccessful.

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT’S RESTRICTED!?”

As in, “screwed by the bureaucracy” unsuccessful.

Twilight couldn’t help but be amused by Jack when he was angry.  He would always seem to overreact to some of the simplest things.  Except this time, it was the fourth time they had been screwed by the ISTR, not including the time the apex they had gotten fired had been doing the screwing.

And this time, it was actually for a good reason.

“Sir, I’m sorry about this,” the hylotl receptionist, who was supposed to have given them a Starmap that morning but now was forced to not.  She turned the computer monitor to face them, her red fingers looking pink against the white light of the screen.  “As you can see, according to intelligence, the USCM has been making an aggressive push toward Sector Delta, Sector Phi, and Sector Omicron.  As such, the ISTR has forbidden the sale of all new Sector Delta, Sector Phi, and Sector Omicron Starmaps, and will be detaining those who attempt to leave without authorization until further notice.”

The computer screen showed a two-dimensional diagram of the galaxy, with yellow lines showing sector divisions, a red field showing the extent of USCM territory, and an illuminated blue dot showing where Terra Stella was, in the heart of Sector Beta.  Unfortunately, the USCM territory had expanded into the three sectors the receptionist had listed.

Jack buried his face in his hands and let out an exasperated groan.

“It’ll be fine,” Twilight assured him.  “We just have to find something to do until the USCM backs off, is all.”

“I wish it were that simple,” Jack groaned, sliding his hands down and off of his face.  “There’s not many other organizations that can get us a Starmap, and those that are won’t do it as cheaply as the ISTR would.”

“What about Timaeus?” asked Twilight as the two of them walked out of the ISTR building, the sliding doors closing behind them with a gentle hiss.  “He was able to get a Starmap of Sector Gamma.  Can’t he get one for Delta as well?”

“Maybe,” Jack sighed, stretching his arms behind him, “but I don’t think his influence reaches that far.”

“It wouldn’t hurt to go and ask,” suggested Twilight.

“You’re probably right,” agreed Jack.  “We’ll pop in and see if he can.”





The Apex scientist stared down at his desk as Jack explained the situation.  Twilight, however, felt the familiar tug of curiosity pull her away from the conversation as she started to look around the large and expansive space of the TSPC facility.  Several different projects were being worked on at once.  The majority of employees seemed to be Apex or Human, but there were substantial amounts of Hylotl, Florans, Avia, and even a few Glitch, though Twilight noticed the Florans and Hylotl were never working in the same workspace.

She saw a number of scientists studying what looked like the same busted Fatal Circuit Jack had put down in the Industrial District, and working with a nearby Glitch as well.  She saw an Apex studying a strange rock that seemed to have glowing blue lines on it.  She noticed a group of humans working a machine, but one of them was shoveling a bunch of glowing yellow rocks into it.

“Is that… solarium?” Twilight asked, tapping Jack on the side and pointing at the engin that the substance was being shoveled into.

“Looks like it,” Jack nodded.

“Could we… get some?”

“I’m afraid not,” Timaeus shook his head.  “Solarium can only be found in abundance in Sector Chi, and I don’t think I need to tell you why it’s in limited supply right now.”

“Is the USCM prohibiting entry, or something?” Twilight asked.

“No, because the Sector’s too big to patrol borders,” Timaeus explained.  “However, they are well aware of Terra Stella’s existence and what we stand for.  So if they discovered someone mining solarium to be taken back to Terra Stella, we would probably never hear from them again.”

“What happen to them?”

“If they’re non-human, three guesses and the first two don’t count,” Jack answered grimly.

“And if they are human?” Twilight asked, not sure if she wanted to hear the answer.

“They get sent to the Rock,” Timaeus replied, interlacing his fingers just under his nose and resting his elbows on his desk.  “Their prison for humans aiding non-humans.  No one knows what happens there.  Execution seems likely, torture possibly, interrogation… you know the drill.”

Jack grimaced.  Twilight, however, started feeling very sick to her stomach, thinking of a race that would do such horrors to their own species.  Sombra’s empire only thrived because he brainwashed them, and even then, it had lines it wouldn’t cross.

“What’s with the Fatal Circuits?” Jack asked, indicating the bot Twilight had been looking at earlier.  Twilight made a mental note to thank him for changing the topic.  “It looks like you’re not continuing with the project.”

“We ran into a problem,” Timaeus answered.  “We did some more experimentation, and found that no brain would survive the process.  They all go haywire, and it forced us to change our plans.  The current plan is to make it fully AI-based, but there’s also a backup plan to turn it into a mech suit.”

“A mech suit?” Jack asked.  “I thought you wanted an automated response team.”

“We do,” Timaeus nodded, “but we recognize that we may not ever be able to get one up to our standards.  The penguins have built a weapon mech of their own, and we’re borrowing a few of their design principles.”

“Penguins?” Twilight tensed up.

“Dreadwing wasn’t the only intelligent penguin in the galaxy,” Timaeus explained, a hologram of a penguin appearing on his desk, “though he was certainly the most famous and feared.  Quite a few penguins live independently in the galaxy.  Most of them are good with mechanics.  We’re trying to reach out and get some to work for us, but apparently they don’t seem to like the idea.”

“Stop laughing!” Twilight swatted Jack with her wing.  “It isn’t funny!”

“I can’t help it,” Jack said as he covered his mouth to hide his giggling.  “Of all the things to be afraid of, you’re afraid of penguins.”

“Well, when you consider my only encounter with them...” Twilight reminded him, glaring up at him.

“Are you afraid of anything else?  Perhaps, something inanimate, like kumquats?” he asked, failing to stifle a snort.

“Mr. Thomas, I must agree with the mare,” Timaeus said, rolling his eyes.  “Do be careful not to tread on her toes-- err… hooves, here.  She did experience something traumatic at their hands-- err… flippers.”

“Well… there is one thing,” Twilight seemed hesitant to share this inormation.  “I also don’t like… cheese quesadillas…”

“Sorry?” Jack held a hand to his ear.

“Cheese quesadillas, alright!?”

Jack and Timaeus both stared at her.

“What?  They’re just so… cheesy…” she shuddered.

Jack stared at her.  “Blimey, you think you’ve seen everything…”

Twilight snarled, reared back, and bucked him in the gut.  Why could he not see that this was no laughing matter!?

Jack, for what it’s worth, took it like a champ.  The armor he never seemed to stop wearing outside of sleep absorbed most of the impact of the blow, and she never was able to buck as hard as Applejack had been able to in her youth.  Jack stumbled backwards all the same, grunting at the contact, but managed to stay upright.

“Alright, alright, point taken,” he said, unbuckling his armor to examine the titanium plates for any damage.  They had done a fair bit of exploring in Sector Gamma, upgrading their armor sets and weapons in case they were needed at any point in the rest of their search for Equus.

“I did warn you,” Timaeus stared down at him from his desk.  “Well, if you are interested in doing something and not just idly waiting for me to procure a Starmap for Sector Gamma, might I suggest the bounty boards?”

“Bounty boards?” Twilight asked.  “What are they?”

“If someone needs something acquired, or a monster taken care of, they post a bounty on a galactic network,” Jack explained.  “Whoever takes care of the mark and brings back proof gets rewarded.  You know, like normal old bounty hunting?”

“Oh,” Twilight inwardly facehoofed at the thought.  “Should have guessed.”

“I don’t think you need anything in the way of pixels, considering you have someone who can create priceless gems out of crystal without a problem,” Timaeus indicated Twilight, “but at least it would give you something to do while I pull some strings with the ISTR.”

“Thanks, Timaeus.”

“Go on, you two,” Timaeus waved them out of his workspace.  “I have work to do.”

Jack nodded and they started on their way out of the TSPC R&D wing, Twilight still fuming that Jack had treated her experiences like a joke.

I mean, for Celestia’s sake, he should know better! she mentally screamed.

“I’m sorry, alright?”

“Huh?” Twilight glanced up at him as they entered an elevator down to the ground floor of the TSPC tower.

“I’m sorry about poking fun at your fears,” he said, scratching at the back of his head awkwardly.  “I just… I don’t know, I can’t help it.  The idea that someone can be afraid of penguins or cheese quesadillas is going to take some getting used to.”

“Everyone has something they’re afraid of,” she chastised him.  “To treat someone else’s fear as something stupid is really thoughtless of you.”

“I know, I know,” Jack sighed.

“So, what are you afraid of?” she asked.

Jack grimaced.  “Needles.”

“Needles?” she repeated.

“Yeah,” he nodded.  “I had to go and get the vaccination for the disease that my parents died from.  Like I said, so many sick people, not enough doctors.  So, when Mr. Kent took me to get my shots, the doctor giving me them was a citizen trained on the job, with no prior medical background.”

“Oh no,” moaned Twilight.  Jack nodded.

“It took him almost fifteen minutes to find the vein to inject the vaccine into,” Jack took off the armor sleeve on his left forearm and slid up the mesh underlay to expose the inside of his elbow, where a number of faded white dots peppered the skin near the crease.

“Don’t needle punctures heal?” Twilight asked, turning to stare at the spot on her rump where he had injected her with red stimpack to save her life.

“Normally, but because he kept missing, it just expanded the wound more and more, and it wasn’t a particularly well-made needle.  And ever since,” he slid the underlay back down and started putting the sleeve back on, “I’ve been deathly afraid of needles.”

“How do you use stimpack, then?”

“Easy.  I don’t look, and I make it quick.”

The thoughts of needles must not have been sitting well with him, because he looked paler than usual.

“Come on,” he said, striding forward a bit faster, “I’m bored, and I want to get my mind off of needles.  Let’s do some bounty hunting.”





“I can’t believe we’re hunting a giant jelly monster,” Jack stared at a random Neighponese-looking building as they continued to stay crouched in the bushes of a Hylotl-inhabited planet.

“I think it’s racist that you think it’s hiding on a Hylotl planet,” Twilight peered through her binoculars at the town.  “Just because they’re amphibious people with translucent skin and--”

“A giant… jelly… monster…”

“You’re not even listening, are you.”

“Jelly… monster…”

“It’s going to be a long hunt filled with sighs, isn’t it?”

“Maybe,” Jack said dully.  “And I didn’t assume that the jelly monster was here just because they have gelatinous skin,” he crossed his arms.  “I came here because the dossier said that Hylotl planets would probably be a good starting place.”

“Oh, so the contractor’s the racist one,” Twilight facehoofed.

“You keep using that word,” Jack put on a strange fake-accent, sounding a bit Spaneighsh.  “I do not think it means what you think it means.”

“Well, ‘speciesist’ does apply, but it more applies to when someone thinks that they’re morally superior to mindless animals,” Twilight hefted the binoculars up to her face.

“You know, it was your idea to sit here and watch the town,” Jack started stretching.  “What makes you think they won’t just help to us if we ask them nicely?”

“So far, I haven’t had good experiences with creatures carrying things that go boom,” Twilight jabbed a hoof toward a kimono-clad Hylotl female, carrying a rocket launcher slung over her back.  “Why does she even have that?  What purpose does it serve?”

“Beats me,” Jack shrugged, before standing up and stepping out of the bushes.  “I’m gonna go talk to them.  I’ll be right back.”

“Jack, I’m going to ask very nicely,” Twilight tried to put every ounce of irritation with the current circumstances into her voice, “please don’t go and make them angry.  You told me they’ve got beef with the Florans.  I can only imagine what a serious rivalry with a race that stabs things for fun can do to their violence threshold.”

“You’ll be calling me The Great Negotiator when I’m through with this,” Jack ruffled her mane.  Twilight tried not to let the slight tingle in her spine or flutter in her gut show too much on the outside.  It had been two months and she still hadn’t come to a conclusion on whether or not he’d be open to the idea of romancing a non-human.

Twilight didn’t doubt for a moment that he wasn’t racist.  Or was it speciesist?  Off topic, she mentally chastised herself.  She had no doubt it wasn’t because he hated non-humans or found the idea abhorrent.  Just like there were ponies on Equus that just didn’t find other races attractive, there must be humans (and members of the other species, come to think of it) that were fine with other races, but just weren’t cut out for interspecies romance.

Tartarus below, she’d had to do some serious soul searching before she finally came to terms with that part of herself, considering she had spent 40% of her life living in Canterlot among the snooty, richer-than-thou nobles.  Those two weeks had been some of the most mentally taxing she had ever experienced.  On one occasion, Jack had wondered about her condition, but thankfully, she’d managed to pass it off.





“Are you feeling okay, Twilight?  You’ve looked out of sorts for a couple of weeks now.”

“I’m perfectly fine, honest!  I’m not thinking about the possibility of romancing someone not a pony right now, or anything!”





Sometimes, her ability to divert suspicion impressed herself.

She heard angry shouting and looked through the binoculars again.

And she let out one of the loudest groans she’d ever made.

“TWILIGHT!  THEY DON’T KNOW WHERE IT IS!” Jack wailed as he sprinted away from a mob of angry Hylotl.

“Ulysses, Enterprise, beam us aboard,” she sighed again as both her’s and Jack’s bodies vanished from the planet.





“I can’t believe we’re hunting a giant jelly monster,” Jack stared out at the Floran hunting party as they prepared to go off on an expedition.

“You’ve complained about that already,” Twilight took a sip from her canteen.

“When are they going to leeeeeeeeeave?” Jack whined, flopping backwards and sighing as he hit the grass.  “This is more boring than doing nothing on Terra Stella.”

“It’s a cultural tradition,” Twilight reminded him, her own irritation at Jack’s incessant complaining threatening to break through her patient facade.  “The hunting party only leaves when everyone who is participating is present.”

“Then who the hell are we waiting on?” Jack whispered.

As soon as he had said it, a young Floran had suddenly joined the hunting party.  Twilight could tell that there was something different about this one.  Perhaps it was the fact that the leaves that made up her hair were more… significant-looking.  Instead of the usual blue or green, the top tresses featured purple, and she carried an intricately carved staff with her, one end featuring a hook-shape and the other a strange sort of h-shape with what looked like berries pinned atop it.

“Human.  Huuuuuman!” a Floran poked Jack with the butt of his spear.

“Oy!  Point that thing someplace else!” Jack said, leaping to his feet and shoving the spear away.

“We’re ready to go.  Nuru’sss here.”

“Did we seriously have to wait for her?” Jack asked.  “We need to find something and we figured this hunting party could help!”

“Sssssh!  Hunting party now, bounty hunting later!” the Floran hissed.

“I thought that by appealing to your baser desires to stab things, I could get you to help.”

“And Floransss will help ssstab human’sss target,” the Floran promised, “but hunting party firssst.”

“What’s so special about Nuru, anyway?”

“She’sss lassst year’sss champion,” the Floran shrugged.  “Floransss cannot participate in hunting party without the champion.”

“Figures,” Jack shook his head, his red hair dancing as he tousled it before sliding his silver helmet on and pulling off his assault rifle an slinging it onto his shoulder  “Let’s get this show on the road.”

The Floran hunting party started toward a weird little Avian-looking building.  Given its underground nature, Twilight’s first thought was that it was a burial crypt or perhaps some kind of storage facility.

“Never hunted alongside a human before,” came a surprisingly musical-sounding voice.  Twilight blinked and looked over to find the colorful Floran from earlier, Nuru, walking alongside them.  “Nor have I ever seen one of your kind,” she nodded at Twilight.

“I’m the first of my species to even make it this far out into space,” Twilight stated as the trio entered into the hunting ground and let the light of the system’s yellow star vanish as the dank atmosphere of the building took over.  “What about you?  I thought all Florans had a hiss to their voices.”

“We do,” Nuru nodded.  “I’ve spent a long enough time away, living and hunting on my own, to where the accent isn’t nearly as pronounced.”

“You seem very young,” Jack noted, “and yet you’re champion of a Floran hunting competition.  Do you do this for a living?”

Nuru laughed.  “Of course!  I may not speak like a typical Floran, but I still like stabbing things just like anyone else.  I just prefer to stab beasts for the thrill.  I’ve spent the last 12 of your human years doing it.”

“Out of…?” Twilight tilted her head.

“17.”

“Not bad,” Jack inclined his head.  “Even by Floran standards, to be grand champion of the hunt at that age is pretty damn impressive.”

“Is that why we’re here?” Twilight asked, suddenly struck by a realization.  “To ask her to help us find the Jelly Monster thing?”

“I was just gonna ask the Florans in general if they’d like to stab the giant jelly monster that I still can’t believe we’re hunting.”

Twilight snorted.  Nuru, however, seemed quite interested at this piece of information.

“You’re hunting a giant jelly monster?” she asked, black eyes sparkling in the light as she looked over at him.

“Yeah, pretty much,” Jack answered.  “We needed something to do while we waited to procure a Starmap for Sector Delta, so we took on a mark.  And we can’t seem to find it anywhere.”

“Ah, I believe I know of the jelly monster of which you speak,” Nuru nodded sagely.  “We’ve hunted them before.  There aren’t very many of them left, and those that are appear to have found their way outside of their usual home in Sector Delta.”

“How could a mindless monster find its way offworld?” Twilight asked, confused.

“These jelly monsters have one of the strangest biological abilities we have ever seen,” they entered a large, open area of the Floran hunting location.  “They can teleport anywhere at any time, but they don’t seem to use the ability consciously.  And they have an uncanny ability to detect when their favorite food is out in the open.”

“So, basically, just find out what their favorite food is, throw some of that out in the open, and then ambush it?” Twilight asked as the trio stopped in the midst of the crowd of Florans, while a Floran game master apparently went over some rules.

“Pretty much,” Nuru shrugged.  “Attracting them is the easy part, fighting them is the hard part.  Though it’s worth pointing out, they only come out when it’s a very specific variety of their favorite food.”

“And that is?” Jack asked.

“Peanut-butter covered bread.  But not just any peanut-butter.  It has to be specifically the avia variety.”

“Why the avia?” Jack asked, sounding a bit surprised by this revelation.

“Hell if I know,” Nuru shrugged.  “Something to do with the way they make it, or something.”

“Thanks for the help<” Jack inclined his head.  “Would you be willing to join us while we attempted to hunt it down?”

“If you would help me slay the beast in this hunting party, I shall join you.”

“What kind of beast is it?” Twilight asked, tilting her head.

“An Ixodoom.”

“What’s an Ixodoom?”

“It’s a giant four-legged arachnid that spits out its own young when threatened--”

“FIFTY SHADES OF NOPE!” Jack slipped an arm under Twilight’s barrel, yanked her under his arm, and practically sprinted his way out of the crypt the hunting party had housed itself in.





“I can’t believe we’re hunting a giant jelly monster!” Jack shouted.

“Shut up and run!” Twilight yelled at him as they sprinted out of an avia temple with a jar of avian peanut butter held tightly in Jack’s hands.  Behind them, a crowd of angry avia chased after them with apparently every weapon housed in the pyramid they had on wing, up to and including an actual kitchen sink.

“You know,” Twilight shouted as she ducked under a thrown spear, “we could have just gone back to Alpha Prime III-B and asked Rana and Mira for some!”

“In hindsight, that seems like the better idea!” Jack jumped over an arrow as it lodged itself where he had been about to step an instant earlier.

They rounded a corner and continued the uphill run.  Twilight wished she was able to fly, or that she knew enough about the planet’s surface to teleport both of them up there, but with the armor weighing her down and with the lack of knowledge about Gamma Centauri IV’s surface, she could do neither.

And the ships couldn’t beam them aboard unless they were on the surface, due to the interferences caused by the avia temples on the planet.

“SHIT!”

Jack stumbled over something, causing the jar of peanut-butter to go flying out of his hands and shatter on the opposite wall.

“Worry about that later, just keep running!” Twilight slapped him with a wing while Jack tried to use what few moments he had to try to salvage at least a bit of their quarry.

Jack took her advice and continued sprinting away.  After several twists and turns, they eventually were able to emerge back onto the surface of the mostly-water covered planet 

“Ulysses, get us out of here!” Jack shouted into the device on his wrist.  Almost instantly, Jack and Twilight felt the temperate coastal air vanish, replaced by the coolness of the interior of Jack’s ship.

Twilight skidded to a stop as Jack swung himself around using a pole.  Given how practiced the act looked, Twilight wondered if he’d installed the pole specifically for that purpose.

For a moment, all was silent save for their panting.

“Well, that happened,” observed Jack.





“I can’t believe--”

“--that we’re hunting a giant jelly monster, I get it,” Twilight tried not to let her exasperation show through her voice.

Not that it was hard, considering it was good to see a familiar environment.  The hill in which she had made her home for a few weeks appeared to be growing flora again after Dreadwing’s attack, her shelter looked just as well-equipped as when she had left it (albeit a little bit in disrepair from lack of use), and for some reason, the weird lizard-bird that had met her on her first day seemed to have found her again.

Or at least, Twilight thought it was the same one.  It seemed to go for her wings a little too quickly to be coincidence.

“It likes you,” Jack noted as they strode to the avian town, with the creature flying overhead.

“How can you tell?” she asked.  “All it did was nibble my wing, screech, and then fly off.”

“You didn’t try to fight it,” Jack explained, before whistling and holding out an arm.  The lizard-bird dove downward, landing on his armored glove and curling its feet around his wrist.  “They’re very docile beings, despite what appearances would lead you to believe.  But if you piss them off, well...”

He grimaced.

“I learned my lesson about that on Day 1 of my time on this planet,” he said, reaching up with his free hand and pulling at the neck a bit, where a thin, almost invisible white line started right about at where his neck met his shoulder and continued underneath his undershirt.

“How come it didn’t heal?” Twilight asked.  “Didn’t you use stimpack?”

“Nope,” Jack shook his head.”  “For one, I didn’t have any.  Also, it’s not safe to use stimpack on anything other than life-threatening injuries or other dire healing needs.  Mainly because it’s a waste, to use it on a scratch like this, but also because it could cause mutations and tumors, what with it causing cells to regenerate faster than present cells can die.”

As they approached the village, Twilight noticed a group of Avia children playing just on the outskirts of town, Rika and Luka included.  At the sight of her, the two chicks squawked with excitement and charged the two of them, Rika leaping onto Twilight’s back, Luka wrapping himself around Jack’s leg, while the other avia children danced around them.

“Rika!  It’s good to see you!” exclaimed Twilight, lifting Rika up with her magic to get a good look at him.  “Are your mother and father in town?”

“Dad ssould be at home with Mother,” Rika answered, chittering happily.  “Wan me to go and get them?”

“No, we’ll visit them in due time,” Twilight patted the growing avia on the head, before leaning back and taking a great whiff.  “So good to be back some place with fresh air.”

“Agreed,” Jack took a deep whiff of the air.  “The city’s not as fresh as out here, and my shelter in the desert only had sand to inhale.”

The Avia village came into sight, and with it came Rana and Mira walking out to meet them, Luka having slipped off from the crowd of children to alert her parents.

“Twilight!  Jack!  What an unexpected surprise!” Mira exclaimed as she and Jack hugged.

“Indeed,” Rana clucked happily.  “To what do we owe the pleasure?”

“As a matter of fact,” Twilight started, but Jack cut her off.

“Actually, we’ll talk about that later.  How about we get caught up on everything that’s been going on?”





“...and so now, while we wait, we’re out bounty hunting for a giant jelly monster,” Twilight finished recounting their adventures over the last few months, before flashing a quick smile.

“That’s so cool!” Rika and Luka both said at the same time.

“The hillside took some time to refertilize, and to dig up the dead ground, but as you no doubt saw, things are growing again after Dreadwing attacked,” Mira’s eyes twinkled.  “Apparently a few penguins thought they’d do that as their apology for everything Dreadwing did.”

“Are you biological cousins, or something?” asked Twilight.  “I mean, considering avians and penguins share a common ancestor where I come from--”

“We are related much the same way the humans and the Apex are related,” Rana nodded.  “Though that doesn’t mean we get along very well.  The penguins just care about doing… whatever it is that they do, while most avia just want to be left alone in their airssips or temples in peace.”

“Speaking of,” Jack said, eyes lighting up as he recognized the segue, “we tried to break into an avia temple a bit ago.”

“What for?” Rana asked, bemused.  “Avia don’t keep anything of importance in temples.  We just keep what is necessary for life, as many who live in the temple are merely pilgrims.”

“...Peanut butter.”

Rana and Mira both stared at him.  A pair of thuds jolted them out of their reveries, as Rika and Luka rolled around on the floor laughing next to the chairs.

“You could have just asked us,” pointed out Mira, already getting up and going back to grab a spare jar.

“We figured that when we shattered their jar,” Twilight admitted, “though I did point that out before we even went in.”

They said their goodbyes shortly after, promising to visit more often, and beamed aboard their ships, now ready to finish their job.





“I can’t believe we’re using peanut buttered bread to hunt a giant jelly monster,” Twilight said, propping up a rather large cardboard box with a fairly decent-sized dowel, since apparently this was the exact method the dossier on the mission said it had to be done.

“Why does it have to be here in Sector Gamma?  I thought you said these things were from Sector Delta,” she continued, glancing behind her as Jack cleared out a bush for them to take cover in.

“Well, if the USCM has been encroaching into Sector Delta, they likely chased them all away.”

“How is that even possible?” Twilight gaped at him.  “You can’t just chase a non intelligent creature off a planet!”

“Apparently they can phase themselves in and out of being or some such.  I dunno,” Jack shrugged.  “I just want to get this done and move on to Sector Delta with looking for your home.”

With their trap set, Jack and Twilight hid in the bushes nearby on this forested planet, hoping they wouldn’t have to wait long for the giant jelly monster to appear.

“I wonder how long this is going to take,” jack sighed.

“If they can phase in and out of being, I don’t think it will be long at all,” Twilight sat on her haunches in the bush they were hiding in, once again feeling like the simple box trap wasn’t going to be sufficient against a monster they didn’t even know the size of.

“What if it’s tiny?” Twilight asked, suddenly struck by a thought.

“It’s not.  The dossier had a picture, remember?” Jack held up his wrist device, which flashed up a hologram of a large translucent pink jellyfish-looking creature with five eyes, one contained within and four around the outside.  “It’s 1:42 scale, apparently,” he shrugged.

“How will we know when it gets here though?  Do they make sound?”

Jack shrugged again. leaning his head forward toward the box trap site due to a sudden shade that had appeared around them.

“I’ve never encountered one, so I wouldn’t know.”

He paused.

“Damn it,” he groaned.

“What?” asked Twilight, confused.

“It’s right behind us, isn’t it.”

There was a weird, high-pitched chirp behind them.

“...fuck.”

Twilight flapped her wings as powerfully as she could and felt herself shoot forward out of the bush at breakneck pace, with Jack diving away behind her.  A second later, the bush they had been hiding in was smashed as the giant jelly monster slammed a tentacle down onto it.

The jelly creature from the hologram was floating in the air in front of them, its large central eye and two of the ones around its insides staring at the two of them.

Jack pulled a handle off of his belt and a long titanium sword blade extended from an opening in the hilt.

“Come on, then!” he taunted, pounding a metal-clad fist against his armored chest and raising a racket to try and goad the creature.  “Come at me, Broseph!”

“What the hell is wrong with you!?” Twilight stared at him incredulously after that braggart display.

“I’m just taunting it,” Jack defended, momentarily going out of his fighting stance to turn toward Twilight and argue.  “I mean, it’s not like I’m telling them where our hunting buddies are or anything.”

The jelly creature bellowed at him, which only served to irritate Jack.

“Excuse me!” he snapped at the Jelly, which seemed to recoil in surprise.  “My friend and I are trying to have a conversation!  Stop interrupting me, it’s very rude!”

The jelly creature let out a little whimper and seemed to be ashamed of itself.

“Now then, where was I?” he asked.

“Taunting,” Twilight repeated automatically, her brain trying to comprehend the fact that Jack somehow told the jelly monster to shut up in the middle of what was supposed to be a serious confrontation, and he had succeeded.

“Right!” Jack snapped his fingers as he remembered his train of thought.  “Yeah, all I’m doing is taunting it.  I mean, Sun Tzu’s The Art of War says that if your enemy is of choleric temperament, you should seek to anger him, so I figured that if I gloated a bit, I could get it to make a stupid mistake.”

The jelly let out a quiet whine.

“Oh hush!  I’ll get to you in a minute!” Jack snapped back at it.

“I can honestly say that in all my years as a Princess of Friendship and virtuoso of magic,” Twilight commented, “I have never seen a situation as ludicrous as this.”

“Wait, hang on,” Jack seemed to have finally realized the jelly was just sitting there, waiting for him to attack it.  “It’s obeying my every word.”

“You just realized that?”

“I was in the middle of a conversation, can you blame me?” he asked, his helmet managing to conceal whether or not he was irritated with Twilight and the jelly.

“Can we just kill that thing and go home?  I want to be done with this whole bounty hunt and get back to finding Equus.”

“You and me both.”





“So how was the hunt?” Timaeus asked as he handed Jack a card-sized computer chip.

Pretty much a huge waste of time,” Twilight shrugged.  “We sent the contractor a jar of the jelly monster’s jelly, received our pixels, and now we’re just ready to get back to trying to find our way to my planet.”

“Sounds like a grand old time,” Timaeus smiled.  “A floran friend of mine says he saw you at the hunting party.  Were you trying to recruit them to help you find your mark?”

“How’d they know it was me?” Jack asked.

“Because there’s only one purple pony princess roaming the stars at the moment,” Timaeus answered.  “Unless you took up with another human during that time, we can only assume it was Mr. Thomas here.”

“Fair assessment,” conceded Jack.

“If I may ask, who was the contractor?”

“Some novakid,” Jack shrugged, his wrist device beeping.  “Probably a good thing we didn’t meet in person.  He’d probably try to steal Twilight just because she’s new and exciting.”

“You are aware they don’t actually intend to steal, right?” Timaeus tilted his head.

“Yeah, I’m aware,” Jack navigated to his mail.  “Hey, he sent us a thank-you note!”



Dear bounty hunters,

Thank-you for finding me a jar of that jelly!  It tasted very delicious with the avian peanut butter I managed to find in a random temple.  I had been wondering what would go best with it!

Sincerely,
Your contractor



Jack’s eye twitched.

"I... he... ate the jelly..."

“Jack?” asked Twilight, noticing that it probably wasn't healthy for an eye to be twitching that much.

“I’m sorry, Jack.exe has encountered a problem and needs to close.  Would you like to reboot?” he mumbled.

“Great,” Twilight facehoofed.  “Well, at least now we can get back to finding Equus.”

“Best of luck!” Timaeus waved as she levitated a still-broken Jack out of the building.