//------------------------------//
// Chapter Three: Part Ten, Prelude to The End 
// Story: The Misadventure Of: A Bunch Of Silly Ponies That Just So Happen To Not Be Applejack 
// by OCisbestpony 
//------------------------------//


Chapter Three: Part Ten, Prelude to The End




“Well, if you say so!” the stallion said, twirling his mustache as he looked at them from the other side of his over-sized, and very nice, wooden desk. You see, in a moment of rather brash decision making, the four of them (once they had all reunited, and promptly had no less then three parties to celebrate the occasion) had decided that rather then sneak in, or talk their way in, or any other course of action, they decided that they would simply storm the castle and make a break for the throne room. Well, okay, it was more like Rainbow Dash had decided to do it before anypony could stop her in time, and when they chased after her the guards promptly arrested the whole lot of them and dragged them to the small office where they now found themselves.

“We do say so!” Applejack shouted.

“So let us in!” Rainbow demanded.

“Well, I don't know. I mean, you sure LOOK like the princess's friends. But how do I KNOW you're her friends?” he leaned back in his overly large chair and crossed his front legs.

“What?!” Rainbow shouted.

“Well, for all I know, you all could be changelings!” his eyes narrowed.

“And I'm tellin' ya we're not!” Applejack said.

“Can you prove that?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Totally!” Pinkie said. “Twilight totally knows this super cool spell that turns changelings back into their normal forms!”

“Is that so? Would any of you happen to know it?” he asked, his eyebrow still raised.

There was a pause. “Uh, no … sorry...” Fluttershy finally said.

He snorted. “How convent.”

“Look, I'm tellin ya, we are who we say we are!” Applejack said.

“Oh yeah? You say you're Princess Twilight's friends, and you claim that you're Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity the Unicorn, but, WHY DOES SHE HAVE A RAINBOW COAT?” He said, jumping to his hooves and pointing at the very much unconscious form of Rarity. “If I'm not mistaken, Miss Applejack, if that is your real name, Rarity has a WHITE coat!”

“What? Are you color blind? No she doesn't!” Pinkie said. Her friends all shot her angry looks. “What?”

“Not helping!” Rainbow said.

“Looka here Mr. Guard officer sir-”

“Sargent! I'm a Sargent!” he shot at Applejack.

“Uh, Sarg,” Applejack said, causing him to shake his head, “We don't rightly know why she's like that-”

“She won't tell us!” Rainbow said.

“Oooh! Ooh! I'd bet it was because she had to-”

“Not now Pinkie!” Applejack looked over at her with a look that hushed her something good. She then turned back to the small stallion with the over-sized desk, “Anyway, we're who we say we are! If you don't believe us, what's the harm in takin' us to the princesses? Iffin' we are who we say we are, then there's no problem, right? And if we an't, then the princesses could take care of us right-an-quick, am I right?”

He blinked a few times. “That's got to be the dumbest logic I've ever heard.”

“ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?” Rainbow bellowed.

“Uh, Rainbow...” Fluttershy tugged at her leg slightly.

“What?!” she said, turning around.

“Well, maybe we could try asking nicely?” she said softly.

“Oh like THAT'S gonna work! 'Hey, Mr. Sargent, could you please take us to the Princesses? If you wouldn't mind that is!'” Rainbow said in a mockingly high voice.

“Try it.” the stallion said, much to Rainbow's surprise. The group turned to look at him. He simply grinned. Then they turned and looked at Fluttershy, who turned beet-red and took several steps back. “Well, miss?”

“Uh, uh...” she stammered.

“Go on! You can do it!” Pinkie cheered.

“Go on surgarcube, it's worth a try.” Applejack smiled.

Rainbow simply rolled her eyes.

And Rarity drooled.

“Uh, okay. Um,” she paused, looking nervously between her friends. She then turned and looked at the Sargent. “Uh, Mr. Sargent, sir? Could you please take us to the Princesses?” she then paused again, and blushed. “I-If you wouldn't mind that is...”

He cracked a huge grin. “No.”

“O-oh … okay...” Fluttershy said, defeated. Rainbow raised her forelegs in the air and opened her mouth.

“But I will take you to their door.” he said before Rainbow could say anything. Fluttershy's face lit up, as well as several others (save Rainbow Dash's, who was surprised, and Rarity, who simply continued to drool).

“Oh thank you!” she beamed.

“Anything for a pretty face.” he winked at her, causing her eyes to nearly bulge out of her head, her face to turn deep, deep crimson, and to bolt behind Applejack. He simply bust out laughing. “Sorry about that.” he chuckled a few more times. “'fraid I can't help myself sometimes. Anyway, yeah, I can take ya to their door at least. I was under orders to keep an eye for the friends of Princess Twilight Sparkle, but it's pretty clear to me that's not you guys, so I don't see the harm in seeing if the princesses will see ya.”

There was a somewhat stunned silence that followed as the four of them exchanged looks. Finally, Rainbow broke it as she rubbed the back of her head. “Uh, yeah, totally. Guess he's on to us guys! Looks like we can't fool you!” the others looked at her and then at him, and more or less nervously nodded (and by others we mean Fluttershy, for Pinkie Pie just looked at them confused and Applejack was unamused).

“Looks like I still got it!” he grinned. “Follow me, I'll take ya right to them.” he hopped onto his desk then onto the ground next to Rarity. “And if it's all the same to you guys, I'll carry the poor lady!”

“Sure, knock yerself out.” Applejack shrugged.

“Excellent!” he beamed and picked her up, and trotted out the door. The others looked between themselves.

“If he thought we were lying, wouldn't that make him NOT want to take us to the princesses? Like, I'm pretty sure if I was in his horseshoes, I woulda have us all arrested.” Rainbow said.

“Just be glad we're getting' somewhere!” Applejack shot back.

“Maybe he IS taking us to the dungeon!” Fluttershy said, putting hoof to her mouth in horror.

“Ooh! And maybe he'll lock us away forever and ever and we'll all have to wear prison outfits and join a chain-gang and sing songs about doing hard labor all day!” Pinkie said far too cheerily. Then stopped for a second and tilted her head in thought. “On second thought, that doesn't sound very fun at all.”

“Well, he may not be th' sharpest tool in th' shed, but iffin' he's gonna do what he said he's gonna do, we'd best get to followin' him before he gets all kinds of suspicious.” Applejack commented as she walked out the door to his small office (the walls and ceiling were covered in dark brown wood paneling, though that detail seems rather unnecessary to mention). The others looked between each other and shrugged, then followed after her.


*****


The door to their counsel room was grand. Large, gilded with gold, marble, and all of the other fine things in life, and thoroughly not designed by Princess Celestia. Rather, it was clear to just about anypony that somepony else was the one who had been the mastermind behind it. After all, it wasn't much like her (or the other Princesses for that matter) to go for that which was extravagant, fancy, or ostentatious. Now, that's not to say that they didn't enjoy the finer things from time to time, but having a picture-perfect crystal engraving of your image dominating both doors struck them as being simply unnecessary (if not gaudy). Even the guards outside it were far too fancy for the occasion.

Applejack rolled her eyes. Nobles. These doors were clearly designed by nobles. The two guards saluted as the group of them approached the door. “Sargent Ironhooves!” one of them said.

“At ease men.” he replied back. “These fine ponies wish an audience with the Princesses.”

“Are you sure sir? We've been told that they are to not be bothered under any circumstance. And if I'm not mistaken, Sir, aren't these ponies the friends of Princess Twilight Sparkle?” the guardpony replied, looking the group of them over.

“Oh don't worry about that! I've thoroughly determined that they're not. And I know the princesses have requested to be left alone, but look at these poor ponies. It's clear they've come a long way for this. I'm sure the princesses wouldn't mind taking a quick break to talk to some of their subjects.” Sargent Ironhooves nodded.

“Uh, are you sure about that, Sir? I mean, that mare looks a lot like Rainbow Dash. And I'm pretty sure that's Pinkie Pie.” The guard pointed at each of them.

“Oh no no! If they were, 'Rarity'” he said that with heavy quotations, “would have a white coat. As you can see, it's rainbow colored. So, clearly they are NOT Princess Sparkle's friends!”

The two guards looked between each other with dumbfounded looks. “Uh, are you certain, Sir?” the guard asked, “I mean, that seems awfully flims-”

“I'm telling you they are NOT her friends! I checked them out myself!” he stomped a hoof on the ground.

“I, but, Sir-” the guard said helplessly.

“Now you go in there and tell her Highness that there are five very tired subjects who want to speak with her, her sister, and Princess Cadenza!” the guard hesitated for a moment. “That's an order!” Ironhooves shouted, causing the guard to jump a little.

“S-Sir!” he saluted, then opened and walked through a small, pony-sized door that was hidden in the much larger door behind him.

Ironhooves shook his head. “Tsk tsk tsk. Guards these days. Thinkin' they can give ya lip just because they're guarding a big fancy door! Humph! In my day I woulda had to gallop around the castle grounds all night for that kind of insubordination!” he glared at the other guard, who stared back at him nervously. Several moments of tense silence passed, with the two of them locked into what appeared to be a staring contest. It didn't take long for the 4 friends to feel sorry for the poor guard, as it didn't take long for him to start shaking and sweating under that intense stare.

The door finally opened once more (just in time too, for the poor guard was about to crack and begin bawling for his mommy) and the first guard walked through. “Sir! Her Highness Princess Celestia has agreed to see them. Her Highnesses Princess Luna and Princess Mi Amore Candenza expressed that they too would like to meet the weary travelers!”

“Excellent!” Ironhooves cried. “OPEN THE DOOR!” he ordered, and as though by magic (which, you know, it was, thanks to two unicorn guards on the other side) the giant doors swung open on their own.

“Welcome weary travelers!” Princess Celestia's cheerful voice rang out. “We welcome you to our home, and are eager t-” she stopped cold. She, Princess Luna, and Princess Cadence, all sat at one one of a long conference table. And on all of their faces were bright, happy smiles. Smiles that promptly died and turned to shock when they suddenly saw who it was Ironhooves had just let into their chamber.

There was silence. If there had been a tumbleweed, it would have rolled by.

Applejack took her hat off and placed it over her heart and bowed her head slightly. “Uh, hello, yer Highnesses...” she said sheepishly.

“Sargent Ironhooves.” Princess Celestia said, her face finally free from shock.

“Yes your Highness!” He saluted eagerly.

“You're fired.”


*****


Fortunately, Colgate, Berry, Bon-Bon, and Lyra were completely ignorant of what had just transpired. If they had know what had just happened, Colgate would have been rather sad, yet unsurprised by the sudden turn of events. You see, old Ironhooves was a bit of a friend to her. Well, it was one of those things were they were kinda friends. I mean, they never hung out, but, like, you know, when they saw each other they waved and if they saw each other at parties or whatever they usually hung out. In fact, he was usually one of the ponies Colgate would hang with to avoid the head-splitting chaos that was Berry's antics at parties. I mean, have you SEEN her when she gets going? Berry's actually banned, BANNED, from at least 3 or 4 different party venues because of her antics. And these were the kind of places that usually encourage that kind of stuff! So, Ironhooves was, to Colgate, a friendly face and a voice of sanity (relatively speaking) in a world of madness.

No, as far as they knew, all was well at home. But home was not what was on their minds. What was on their minds was the rather fancy toothbrush that now hung in the air in front of Colgate.

“I-I can't believe it!” Colgate squeaked. So excited was she that her life-long curse of silly-serious voice didn't even bother her. “It's the real deal! It's the brush! We've made it Berry! We finally got what we've been looking for!” she let out a rather excited squeal and began dancing about in spot. Berry, still rather large, simply contented himself with stomping his front hooves on the ground (for he feared what he might destroy if he too should dance about). Lyra looked rather surprised at how excited Colgate got, and Bon-Bon was distracted by the expression Steve was wearing. 

It bothered her. He didn't look excited, or surprised, or even pleased. Rather, he had the look of a merchant who was giving something a scrutinizing gaze. Like a shop owner gauging how much to charge for an object. He watched with careful eyes as Colgate got up and ran over to Berry and began dancing with him all the same. He then grinned and licked his lips slightly.

“So, I take it you're rather interested?” he said pleasantly.

“Are you KIDDING?!” Colgate shouted in a pitch that was almost unrecognizable, “We've been through Tatraus and back looking for this thing!” she shouted, her happiness overflowing.

“Wonderful! And I'm more then happy to give it to you!” He smiled.

“YES!” Colgate cried.

“After you've paid me of course.” he grinned.

“Y-Wait, what?” Colgate said, stopping mid-step in her dance with Berry. Berry, thanks to the sudden loss of momentum, tripped and fell, though not onto Colgate.

“	Well, it is my property. And I'm a hydra of business. While I'm happy for you that you've found what you're looking for, I can't just let you take it for nothing.” he more or less shrugged (lacking proper shoulders, it was rather difficult to do).

“B-But-”

“No buts little miss.” he said firmly. “It's only fair that I ask for something in exchange.”

“OH COME ON!” Lyra shouted. “We've come this far, and you gotta be a huge flankho-”

“Do you accepts bits?” Bon-Bon asked.

He shook his head. “No, I have no need for Equestrian currency out here.”

“That makes a lot sense.” Berry said. “So, what can we give you?”

“Humm...” he thought for a moment. “That is a good question.”

“How about a drink of this?” Berry asked, holding the bottle aloft.

“BERRY! NO!” Colgate shouted.

“Hold on, let her speak.” Bon-Bon said, rising a hoof.

“Her?” Steve asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah! You see, this brew is magical! I don't know how it works exactly, but when pony drinks it, it changes them. You see, I'm normally a mare, but when I drink it, I change into this!” he looked himself over as though to prove the point. “And when Lyra here drinks it, she becomes something that can change shape! And when Bon-Bon here drank it, she became a dragon-slaying army-annihilating commando!” he pointed at her rather excitedly.

Bon-Bon's eyes opened wide for a moment, then she turned her head to the side indignantly and huffed. “I do not wish to speak of it again. Besides, it only worked once.” she said.

“Only once?” Steve raised an eyebrow.

“It only needed to work once!” Berry exclaimed.

“I see.” Steve looked thoughtfully at Bon-Bon. “I'm guessing the change is not permanent. How long does it last and can it be ended prematurely?”

“Well, it lasts as long as the alcohol is in your system.” Berry smiled.

“It's alcohol?” Steve looked at Berry with surprise.

“Yep! It's a special brew I made for a coming of age party for the little sister of a friend! Though, I had no idea how powerful it was when I made it!” Berry looked at the bottle.

“I see. What's it made of?”

“Besides the usual stuff, I used some Poison Joke and Heart's Desire, and a few other things, but those are a trade secret.” he winked.

“I see. Interesting choices. And can it be ended early?”

“Yep! Just take another drink after you've changed!” Berry smiled.

“I think I may have found your payment.” he smiled. “In exchange for the brush, I would like to see each of you, save you, my good Doctor, and of course you my beloved,” he smile a goofy grin at Photo who blushed and smiled back, “take a drink of the brew. It's been a long time since I've seen something that I'm sure would be so entertaining!”

“Uh, in a sec.” Berry said, suddenly looking a little unsure.

“Mind if we have a quick sec to talk about it?” Colgate asked.

“Go right ahead.” Steve shrugged. The four of them (Colgate and co. to be exact) huddled together and began whispering to each other in hushed whispers.

“Do you think we can trust him?” Berry asked.

“He's a jerk!” Lyra complained.

“It seems like we are getting too good of a bargain. An ancient artifact for a side show? I am hesitant.” Bon-Bon said.

“Well, we've come this far. We gotta do something!” Colgate said.

“Fair point.” Bon-Bon agreed.

“I don't like this guy. We can't trust him!” Lyra almost spat.

“Well, it wouldn't hurt to try, right? I mean, I'd kinda like to go back to being a girl.” Berry smiled.

WHY DID HIS SMILE HAVE TO BE SO PERFEC- “But I don't want to drink it!” Colgate argued.

“Well, you are the only one left who has yet to do so.” Bon-Bon pointed out.

“That's right! You totally got to try it!” Lyra said excitedly.

Colgate opened her mouth, but Berry spoke faster, “No. She doesn't want to do, and it's not right to force her.”

“Well, then what can we do?” Bon-Bon asked.

“Could we give it to him? Wait! We should totally have him take a drink!” Lyra pipped up.

“Forgive me for interrupting, but might I ask if you've come to a consensus?” Steve asked.

“Huh?” Colgate's head popped up out of the group and looked at him. “Oh, not ye-”

“Sure have!” Lyra cried as she suddenly turned around and looked at him. “We're gonna share a drink with you, and then give you the bottle!” she beamed.

“Wait, WHAT?” the other three said in surprise.

Lyra turned around and looked at them, “Trust me!” Lyra said with a wink. Bon-Bon shook her head and the other two gulped hard.

“Oh dear me! I can't say I've drank liquor in some time. Last time I consumed several barrels and nothing happened. Besides, I'm more a tea hydra myself.” he shook his head. “Still, if it does what you say it does, then I'll admit to a level of curiosity as to what it would do to me and my kin here.”

“Wait, ALL of us?” Doc answered.

“Totally!” Lyra nodded.

“Not my beloved!” Steve objected.

“You do not speak fur me!” Photo said.

“Great Scott!” Doc looked horrified, then suddenly excited. “Can I try it first?”

“Sure! Why not?” Lyra looked over at Berry and held out an expecting hoof. Berry looked at her like she was crazy, but agreed and handed her the bottle. Lyra grabbed, levitated it, and brought it over to Time's cup. “Ready?” she asked.

“Absolutely!” he nearly cried, dumping the rest of his tea onto the ground (causing Steve's eye to tick slightly with annoyance [that was good tea too!]). Lyra tipped the bottle, and filled his cup. “Well then, bottom's up!” he cried and lifted his little cup high into the air.

“W-wait!” Berry cried, causing all to pause and look at her.

“Yes?” Doc asked.

“Uh, is it okay if I take a drink real quick? I'm not really comfortable like this and if we're gonna have a party, I'd like to be me.” Berry blushed a bit and looked to the side.

“Oh...” Doc looked at him, then at their huge host, who simply shrugged. “Well, uh, sure thing Sir-” Berry shot him a look, “er-Madam!”

Lyra looked between the two and shrugged and levitated the bottle over to Berry's tea cup (which was likewise emptied onto the ground, once more to their host's annoyance). She filled it, and Berry looked into her cup as though it were some sort of sweet, sweet nectar. She drank it swiftly.

Much to Steve's, Doc's, and Photo's surprise, Berry's head inflated like a balloon. His limbs elongated and his face suddenly stretched out. Then, quite suddenly, he smooshed together as though somepony had tried to make him into a mushy Berry ball. He spun once, twice, and even thrice. Then, all at once, her limbs and head all popped out to their normal sizes. She was a mare once again.

“Yes!” she cried and hopped into the air. “It feels so good to be me again!”

“Great withering stallions!” Turner cried. “That was remarkable! I've never seen anything like it!”

“My good fellow, I think that given your current memory, you wouldn't know it even if you had.” Steve smiled.

“Oh,” he paused for a moment. “Good point.”

“Vas vat dat?!” Photo cried in horror. “Are you okay? Are you in pain?!”

“Nope! Never felt better!” Berry laughed. “I mean, I feel a little strange, but that's to be expected after switching between being a stallion and a mare.”

Photo blinked several times (though nopony could see it because of her massive glasses). “Are you certain?”

“Yep! I feel great!” Berry smiled.

“Well, I must admit,” Steve said, “I was not expecting to see something like that!” he smiled a huge smile. “Very well, Why don't we all take a drink!?” he laughed. “Save you, of course.” he looked over at Photo, who shook her head.

“No! I want to try!” she said firmly.

“But, we don't know what will happen, for all we know, you coul-”

“Give me the drink!” Photo interrupted her lover's objections.

Lyra, still holding the bottle, looked at Berry, who simply shrugged as if to say 'why are you asking me?'. She then walked over to Photo, who politely finished her tea (which was much less irritating to Steve, though he was sad that it had to be chugged rather then savored), then offered her cup. Lyra filled it, and Photo raised it up as if to offer a toast. “To FASHION!” she cried, and chugged it all at once. Doc, who had been quietly sitting there with his own drink in his hoof, simply set it down when it became clear that he would have to wait his turn.

“Are you alright? How do you feel?” Steve asked before she could even pull the glass away from her lips.

“It tastes odd. It is like nothing I've ever had!” Photo said as she looked at her glass. “I feel, I feel...” she cocked her head to the side and paused for a moment. Everypony held their breath for a moment. “I feel FANTASTIC!” she cried and jumped to her hooves. “I, PHOTO FINISH, can suddenly recall every picture that I have ever taken! Yes! I can see them! Thousands and thousands of models! Millions of dresses! I can see them all!” she cried as she stood on her hind legs and made a grand sweeping gesture in the air above her head. “Not only that! I can see them … I can see so many of them!” she said as she began to hover in the air.

“See what?” her lover asked.

“Tomorrow! I can see the dresses of Tomorrow! I see, PINSTRIPE!” she cried as both her outfit and her coat suddenly changed to pinstripe, and goodness did she look good in it. “I see, ZIPPERS!” she cried as she was suddenly covered in an outfit made entirely of zippers, which she looked simply amazing it. “I see, BEES!” She cried as suddenly, from the very swamps around them, thousands and thousands of bees suddenly flew into the clearing and surrounded Photo, creating much larger version of her, nearly half as large as her dear lover. “I SEE,” she cried with a thunderous voice that reverberated through the ground, “NOTHING!” At her cry, the bees suddenly vanished, taking with them her entire outfit, her hair, her mane, and even her trademark glasses. “AND IT IS GLORIOUS!” she screamed as suddenly she was surrounded by light and blinding glory. So great was it that all had to avert their eyes, save one of the hydra heads, who simply stared at her dumbfounded. It lasted a moment or two, then she slowly descended to the ground (for she had lifted up off of it several hooves when she had proclaimed her glory), and the light about her faded, though never fully diminished. She then raised her lowered head, and opened her eyes to look about causing everypony, save Steve, to gasp in surprise.

“I didn't know you were wall-eyed!” Lyra said, gawking.

“LYRA!” Bon-Bon shouted and promptly smacked the back-side of her head.

“What?” she asked painfully, rubbing the now throbbing spot. “It's not like you didn't notice!”

“CORRECT!” Photo announced. “And now you know why it is that I wear my glasses!”

“Well, that and you do look simply smashing in them, my dear.” Steve smiled, once his angry face had vanished (he was not pleased that the others had reacted the way they had).

“ALSO CORRECT!” she shouted, throwing a hoof into the air for emphasis.

“You're also bald, and, well, your coat's gone.” Lyra pointed out, ducking out of the way of another blow from Bon-Bon.

“Not one for tact, is she?” Steve asked, trying his best to hide his annoyance.

Bon-Bon let out an exasperated sigh. “No, and she never has been.”

“Wait, this is true?!” She looked at herself, and gasped. Thankfully, her skin color wasn't much different then her coat color, but the lack of mane and tail was rather odd looking. She gasped as she rubbed her skin with her hooves as though prove the point. She rubbed the top of her head, and was clearly disturbed by the lack of resistance she felt. Then she looked back at her tail, and was shocked to see nothing but a small nub in its place. “I-I, I LOOK...” she turned once or twice in place too give herself one more look over, “FABULOUS!” she cried happily, and, as if on command, she very much suddenly did. Granted, nothing physically changed, but in the eyes of all who beheld her, she looked the very soul of fashion.

Lyra let out a low whistle. “Wow. I've never really been that much into fashion, but maybe I should shave my coat!” she said.

Berry nodded. “Yeah, I'm thinking that too...”

“She looks so nice...” Colgate stared in awe.

“I … I have to agree...” Bon-Bon said, rather hesitantly.

It was clear that Photo was pleased with this turn of events, as a large smile crossed her lips as she sat back down onto the ground. “Who is next?!” she asked rather excitedly.

“Me!” Doc announced as he rose his glass high into the air.

“This outta be good...” their over-sized host grinned.

Doc smiled up at him and raised his glass in a cheer, and drank it. Then promptly spit it out. “OHH! That was horrible!” he cried as he looked at his cup in disgust. “What IS this stuff?!” he asked as his look of displeasure grew.

“It's booze.” Berry said. He looked at her with a confused expression. “You know, booze? Alcohol?”

He shook his head, as Steve spoke up, “I fear our good friend here is suffering from a bad case of near-total amnesia. So, I'm afraid he simply has no idea what that is.”

“Oh.” Berry said, leaning back in surprise. “That sucks. You alright?”

“I will be once I get this taste out of my mouth!” he said, sticking his tongue out.

“Did you actually drink it?” Colgate asked.

Time shook his head. “Absolutely not! The moment that … horrid liquid hit my mouth, I spat it right out!”

“I'm surprised you know what a mouth is.” Steve said.

“Well of course I know what a mouth is! And I can tell you, the moment that swill touched my taste-buds, I wanted nothing to do with it!” he shook his head.

“Wait,” Colgate said, raising a hoof, “You said he had near-total amnesia?” she asked, looking up at Steve. He nodded. “But you know what taste-buds are?” she asked.

“Well, yes! It's basic knowledge! I leaned about it in kindergarten!” he said, somewhat annoyed.

“My good Doctor,” Steve asked, “What is your name?” he asked with a look of curiosity.

“Me? Well, if you must know, my name is Doctor Time Turner! I'm a PhD in Temporal Studies and Application!” he announced proudly.

“HA!” Steve cried happily. “It seems that drink cured you! Well done little pony!” he said as he turned to look at Berry. “Well done indeed!” he was clearly very pleased. “This is quite the tonic you've made! Yes, this is simply amazing! It made my dear Photo even better then before, and it even reversed the effects of a powerful hex! This truly is quite amazing!” he smiled all the more.

“Wait, a hex?” Colgate asked, looking at Time Turner nervously.

“Oh yes, these swamps are under quite the terrible curse!” The Hydra said gleefully. “Don't ask me when or how it happened, but for as long as I've known these lands, they've carried a truly terrible curse. From what I've been able to see, this was once, long ago, quite the thriving jungle! Now, it is filled with dangerous creatures, and even the water itself carries cursed magic in it. To say nothing of the dirt, or the poor, poor trees.” he then chuckled. “Technically, I myself am part of the curse.”

“Wait, really? But you seem so nice!” Colgate said.

“Thank you my dear. You see, I differ, well, 'I' being a relative term since all four of us are technically the same creature, because rather then simply give in to my base nature of wanting to eat anything intelligent that wanders into the swamp, I decided to learn more about them. I realized the advantage of that when it came time to eat my first pony. You see, I backed the poor creature into a corner, and just as I got within eating range, he started offering bargains for his life. Well, he offered some very nice offers, and had such an interesting personality, that I hesitated and decided that I would hear him out. I then invited him to stay at my lair for a few days, and there found out about a world beyond the swamp. He taught me about all sorts of interesting things. He taught me about different ponies, and towns, and castles, and harmony, and all sorts of other things. And it wasn't until I ran into another group of ponies in a different swamp that I realized that his words were more then simple smoke. It was then that I decided that I would go to the heart of it all and see for myself what it was all about.”

“Who did you run into?” Colgate asked.

“Nopony important I suspect.” He shrugged.

“Where did this happen?” She asked.

“I believe it was called something like Froggy Bottom Swamp or something like that,” if he had a hoof, he would have waved it in a dismissive gesture. “But that's not really important.”

“So I take it was then you went to Canterlot?” Bon-Bon asked.

“Right you are! And the rest, as they say, is history.” he nodded. “Now then, I think I'll take the next drink.”

“Wait, you're not going to wait until we've all taken a drink?” Berry asked.

He shook his head. “Originally, yes. But I fear I'm simply too excited to see what will become of me when I do. Though, I wonder if what little you have will be enough...”

“Oh, that's no problem!” Lyra said cheerfully. “It's bottomless!”

“REALLY?” he exclaimed.

“Yep!” Lyra nodded.

“I-I don't know if I believe that. Hold on.” he lumbered out of the clearing for a moment, then returned with a large barrel. “Fill this.” he put it on the ground, and popped off the lid. Lyra levitated the bottle over it, and turned it upside down and poured, and poured, and poured. Steve watched in growing disbelief as the small bottle churned out more and more of the liquid then it should have ever been able to hold. “That's enough.” he said after watching it pour for nearly five minutes (it was big barrel). “I've never seen anything like it.” He then grabbed the barrel with his own mouth (for the other mouths had been doing most of the lifting and moving of this, that, and the other), and lumbered back out of sight. After a few moments, he returned with four pony-sized mugs that were filled to the brim (it was a very big barrel). “Well then, to our health!” he cried after all of the heads had put their drinks on the ground. They then lifted them up, clinked them together, and drained their cups. 

Bad move guys, bad move…