“Pinkie,” Twilight said in a tone that was at once kind and unbending, “Just so we’re clear, when it turns out there’s not an exact copy of you with your mane flat working as a street performer in Canterlot, we’re going to get you the help you need.”
“I’m telling you, she’s real,” Pinkie retorted, annoyance in her voice, “I’m getting tired of ponies talking all this smickity smack about how I’m moping around Canterlot pretending to be somepony else. So I came up here myself and did a little of the old ‘Recon Pie’. That’s how I found her.”
“Smickity smack?” Twilight raised an eyebrow.
“It was a thing Ki said,” Pinkie smiled, “He’d be all like, ‘Dammit Pinkie! Stop talking all that smickity smack around Ponyville, I keep telling you, we’re not engaged.’ Because that was a game we’d play. Where I’d pretend we were a couple and he’d pretend to not be interested. And I’d be like, ‘Then why do I have naked pictures of you in the shower?’ And then he had a long talk with the Cakes, and that’s the story of how I lost my super-fun spy camera.”
Twilight was about to consider calling off the whole thing and quietly taking her friend to the nearest available therapist when she rounded the corner and was confronted with the last thing anypony would ever expect to see. There on the street corner was Pinkie Pie, mane straight but seeming not in the least depressed, happily bouncing about entertaining a small but growing group of ponies.
“Alright, Pinkie, we should play this carefully, she might be…” Twilight looked up to see her friend already confronting the imposter, “And of course that happened.”
“What’s the big idea running around acting like me, making all my friends think I’m losing my marbles,” Pinkie parted the crowd like water and was furiously poking the mare with one hoof with each word, finishing by snatching a bag of marbles out of her mane, “My marbles are all right here! Present! And! Accounted! For!”
“It’s not what you think,” the flat-maned Pinkie Pie protested, “I’m…”
“You’re a changeling!” Twilight declared triumphantly, her horn glowing invisibly purple as she directed the spell to force the changeling into it’s natural form.
The plague energy in the other Pinkie ignited, and she screamed in pain, causing the “real” Pinkie to turn to her friend and plead, “Twilight! You’re hurting her!”
“I… this isn’t what that spell is supposed to do,” Twilight said helplessly.
“Don’t stop,” the other pinkie said through tightly clenched teeth, “Just… keep it up. Just keep pouring energy into it until it burns itself out. It’s the only way.”
Twilight wanted to argue, but the other pony looked desperate and pleading. As magical energy fed the plague, it transformed the pony containing it. Her skin began to harden into a carapace. loose flaps of skin began trailing behind her withers, only to harden into paper-thin, but incredibly strong wings. Finally, her horn burst from her head with a little spurt of dark ichor eliciting a scream from the mare. The few ponies who hadn’t fled in panic watched in horrid fascination as the transformation completed itself, leaving a deep burgundy changeling mare standing before them.
“Are you alright?” Pinkie asked with real concern.
“I- I’m fine,” the changeling gasped, “It’s okay, I’ve been… I’ve been meaning to get that done for a while now.”
“Well, I’m glad you’re alright,” Twilight said relieved, then took a more severe tone, “But I’m sure you know it’s illegal to copy other ponies! You’ve really caused a lot of hurt feelings and confusion between Pinkie Pie and our friends!”
“Oh no,” the changeling panicked, “I caused spoilers! I didn’t ruin your friendships did I? Or make you skip any trips?!?! Please say you didn’t skip any trips!”
“Uh, no,” Pinkie cocked her head to the side, “All scheduled Pinkie Pie trips have in fact been right on schedule. Had this really weird talk with Dashie on a train recently, but otherwise that trip went really super.”
The changeling mare looked relieved, but Twilight wasn’t dissuaded, “I still expect an explanation, you don’t have any holes so I’m ready to assume this is some misunderstanding and not malicious intent. We should take this conversation out of the public view, I think, miss…”
“Surprise Party,” the changeling mare supplied.
“That IS what she said her name was from beginning,” one of the gathered crowd, a blue unicorn stallion said helpfully, “Of course I think most of us assumed it was Pinkie Pie using some funny stage name for the occasion, but she never tried to make anypony think she was actually Pinkie Pie.”
“It’s true,” the cream-colored mare standing beside him nodded, “In fact she corrected anypony who called her Pinkie Pie.”
“Let's take this up at Doughnut Joe's,” Twilight sighed, then added, “And no stealing love! I’m serious!”
-=-=-=-=-
"So for starters why were you impersonating Pinkie Pie," Twilight asked straightforwardly.
"I'm a Pinkie Pie impersonator," the changeling-who-secretly-knew-that-that-she-was-really- pinkie-pie-from-another-dimension totally pulled out of her plot as she desperately tried to remember the name she had given Twilight and the real Pinkie Pie that she had been using since she'd gotten to Canterlot.
"A likely story," Pinkie Pie leaned in deeply and glared then, did a double take placing her behind the changeling, "wait... you're a Pinkie-what-again?"
"I impersonate Pinkie Pie... I mean m... I mean you, for bits and love. Because that's what changelings eat. Yep. Oh, and I always use a different name... than Pinkie's I mean. I use my name," that she was desperately trying to remember as she somehow shrunk back into the corner behind Pinkie as Pinkie continued to hang over the changelings back, "I'm the best changeling there is at being Pinkie Pie. I mean changing into Pinkie Pie."
"And ponies pay you tips for acting like Pinkie Pie?" Twilight asked skeptically.
"Well," the changeling replied quickly, "Everypony knows that Pinkie Pie is the most funnest party planner there is. But there's only one Pinkie Pie. Yep, just one, because I'm a changeling and obviously not Pinkie Pie."
"She's totally fangasming," Pinkie whispered to Twilight with a ridiculously huge grin.
"Okay I get it," Twilight nodded and smiled, "You're a professional Pinkie Pie impersonator. Even in your changeling form you could almost pass for Pinkie Pie, if she wasn't sitting right here. And while we're on the subject..."
"Do me! Do me!" Pinkie Pie nearly bounced out of existence in excitement.
"I don't know how to change, how do I change?" the changeling thought in panic desperately trying to summon what she knew was her real form.
There was a flash of invisible green fire and the changeling looked down in surprise to find that she was a white pegasus. Her tail and mane were blonde, but otherwise identical copies of Pinkie Pie’s. In place of three balloons her cutie mark was a changeling face.
"Alright," Twilight grinned triumphantly, "Now do blue Pinkie Pie with a cyan mane and a confetti cutie mark."
The changeling tried again, not knowing what to expect. A flash of changeling magic and she found herself staring at an exact, and exactly blue, replica of Pinkie Pie, only with a burst of confetti for a cutie mark..
"Excellent!" Twilight beamed, "I'm sorry, but I took a few liberties when I untangled your aetheric net. I know this must be confusing, but it's not unheard of. You stayed in one form too long, and being well fed on freely given love, you had begun changing into a pony. A few more days and it would have become permanent. Normally this wouldn't be a problem, but in this case it's caused considerable confusion, since the pony you were turning into looked just like Pinkie Pie. So I made some adjustments to keep you from actually copying Pinkie Pie again. If you try you’ll just get a random Pinkie Pie variant with a changeling cutie mark. Technically the new rules say you always have to wear a changeling cutie mark when in pony form, but I’ll be honest and say I don’t like the idea of a species being openly branded for prejudice like that. But it was a concession Celestia was willing to make to calm down some of the more nervous ponies.”
“Thanks Twi- er, your majesty,” the changeling fumbled awkwardly.
“Just stay out of trouble from now on,” Twilight replied with a gentle smile, “And just Twilight’s fine. Although, if I might make a suggestion, Canterlot is a little close to Ponyville for a substitute Pinkie Pie party business don’t you think?”
“I guess,” the changeling finally just gave up trying to remember her name, and resolved to look it up in her schedule book later, “I just don’t know where else to go…”
“How about Fillydelphia?” Pinkie Pie suggested helpfully.
“Pinkie Pie?” Twilight raised an eyebrow.
“What?” the impossibly pink mare grinned and asked innocently.
“I thought we’d settled this,” Twilight said with a sigh.
“Am I missing something,” the confused changeling cocked her head in what Twilight had to admit was a perfect Pinkie Pie expression.
“A middle aged human appeared in Ponyville recently,” Twilight rolled her eyes and explained, “Pinkie Pie…”
“We were extra-special-punk-rock-buddies,” Pinkie supplied by way of interruption.
“Pinkie Pie caught him in a box trap,” Twilight continued over her excitable friend, “And they took turns alternately stalking each other and feigning disinterest. He…”
“He mysteriously disappeared from the hospital,” Pinkie interupted again, “I’ve been super-worried.”
“He drank himself into an alcoholic coma and then woke up and caught the first train out of town while the girls and I were away on friendship business,” Twilight continued, feeling as if her eyes might roll out of her head if this kept up, “My human finder spell, and the train station records indicate he’s headed to Fillydelphia. Pinkie IS worried though.”
“He acts all gruff and distant, but he’s a very delicate and gentle soul,” Pinkie said fondly, with a hint of sadness.
“Just check the seediest bar you can find in the red-light district,” Twilight said flatly, “Look for a drunk human with a mohawk using the bathroom in the most inappropriate place available.”
“I’ve got a picture!” Pinkie Pie pulled a photo out of her mane and handed it over.
The photo revealed an angry looking male human with a greying mohawk shoving away a camera while standing in the shower trying to cover himself with a towel.
“If I find him, should I send him back,” the burgundy changeling asked curiously.
Pinkie Pie open her mouth, only to have Twilight shove her entire hoof into it, “Tyrek in Tartarus, no! Just tell him to write Pinkie Pie a letter so she won’t be worried.”
“That’s more or less what I was gonna say, meanie,” Pinkie pulled her mouth free and stuck her tongue out at her friend, “But if he is in trouble, please try to help him if you can.”
“I will,” the changeling smiled sadly, “I- I’ve had some experience with humans before. I’ll find him and make sure he’s okay. Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.”
The changeling went through the motions of the ritual, causing Pinkie to spring forward and grab her in a carapace crushing embrace. They hugged for several moments like that, each one's head expanding and contracting like a squeaky toy before Twilight cleared her throat loudly.
“Well I’m glad we could help, and it really has been a pleasure meeting you,” Twilight smiled and motioned to Pinkie Pie that it was time to leave, “But we really should be getting back to Ponyville. If you could send a letter to my castle I’ll make sure my assistant arranges some bits to cover your travel expenses since this trip is technically friendship business. Oh, before I forget, what was your name again?”
Twilight had pulled out her notebook as the changeling panicked. She had come so close! What was that name she had been telling ponies constantly for days? As the princess of books and friendship looked on expectantly, the changelings panic only increased until finally she blurted out, “Changeling Drone 1776!” That was a real changeling name, right?
Twilight gave a gasp of surprise and found herself on the receiving end of a glare from Pinkie Pie, “Twilight! You scared her into using her hive name!”
“I- I didn’t mean to… I’m sorry… I-,” the Princess of Friendship stammered.
“It’s okay Surprise Party,” Pinkie smiled warmly, “Lots of drones have trouble remembering their new names at first. Just write it down on your fetlock until you get used to it.”
As the two mares left, Surprise Party gave a sigh of relief. The problem of two Pinkie Pies had been resolved, and she was finally free to begin her new life in this brave new Equestria.