//------------------------------// // Chapter 11 - ...Here Comes the Bride // Story: Expecting // by Shahrazad //------------------------------// Two weeks later… … … … “Eeeyup.” “Yes. Trixie as well.” The clock ticked well past midnight. Trixie and Big Mac hadn’t slept (just slept, nothing more) together in over a week. Granny Smith exerted considerable effort to prevent it. However, tonight, insomnia tormented them both. Trixie snuck into Big Mac’s bed again in order to fall asleep. They laid awake, doing nothing but spoon with each other for the past hour. “Today is the day.” “Eeeyup.” “Not tomorrow, it’s past midnight. Trixie cannot sleep. Trixie doesn’t know why.” “Eeeyup.” Trixie sighed. “Did… did you have a bachelor party?” “Nnnope,” Big Mac replied sadly. “Why not?” “Not enough time. Braeburn didn’t find out ‘til he got the weddin’ invitation, Doctor Whooves is… outta town again, Caramel forgot, an’ Lucky returned from Las Pegasus jus’ last week an’ is still sleepin’ it off. Spike wanted ta throw one, ‘cept Ah can’t have a party with just the two o’ us. An’ Ah reckon he ain’t old enough fer a proper bachelor party anyway.” Big Mac hugged Trixie a little tighter. Trixie wiggled in a way that pleased Big Mac. “Perhaps Trixie will give her husband a private party. We shall have some fun, without your granny interfering, yes?” Big Mac gulped. Trixie smirked as she felt Big Mac at her croup. “E-Eeeyup!” “Shhh… Trixie would rather not wake your… our grandmother at this time.” Trixie shifted even closer to Big Mac. He put his forehooves over her belly. As if on cue, the foal kicked them both. “Whoa,” Big Mac mumbled as his hoof bounced away. “It seems Trixie isn’t the only one awake tonight. Our fun will have to wait,” Trixie whispered. Wincing, she rubbed her swollen stomach. “Shhhh… it’s time for sleep.” Big Mac grunted. Looks like nopony’s gettin’ what they want. “Git up! S’time ta git ready! It’s tha big day!” Apple Bloom shouted. Big Mac groaned and rolled over. He found Apple Bloom standing at his doorway, already wearing a garland of apple blossoms with a basket of rose petals in her mouth. “Wh-What time ‘s it?” Big Mac slurred. “Six-thirty in th’ mornin’. Let’s go!” Apple Bloom shouted, a grin on her face. Blinking at his window, Big Mac saw sunlight creeping towards the bed. His eyes snapped open when he couldn’t find Trixie. Patting the bed sheets, he fumbled for her, still half asleep. “Ya lost somethin’, big brother?” “Uhhh… nnnope,” Big Mac rubbed his eyes and rolled out of bed. Sighing, he walked to his armoire and opened it. He blinked, stunned. “R-Right… fergot ‘bout that,” he mumbled to the tuxedo. It hung prominently in front of his harness and other bits of clothing he wore on special occasions. Silver horseshoes, a white undershirt, and a tiny black box sat in the open drawer, staring back at him. He gulped and prepared himself. “Sleep well?” Applejack asked. Trixie blinked a set of bloodshot eyes at her reflection. Applejack drew the dress’s train over Trixie’s back and pulled the straps around her barrel. The lower straps had to be left loose on account of Trixie’s ample stomach. “Trixie feels as if her stomach is full of butterflies.” Applejack chuckled, “Ah reckon that’s normal fer a bride.” “Make it stop.” Applejack stopped short with the final string tying the wedding dress together held in her mouth. “Pardon?” “Make the butterflies stop now, please.” “Uhh… Ah can’t make ‘em stop. Ah reckon yer gonna have ta git married ta git rid of ‘em.” Applejack laughed. “This here sounds like stage fright. Ain’t ya used ta that?” Trixie looked over her shoulder at Applejack, one brow raised. “What’s that?” Applejack brought Trixie her shoes. “Ya gotta be kiddin’ me. Stage fright, ya know, when ya git nervous ‘afore ya go on stage ‘cause ya think yer not good enough ta…” Trixie looked at Applejack dumbly. “…never mind.” “Me first!” “No, I wanna go first!” “He’s mah brother, Ah git ta go first, an’ that’s final!” Apple Bloom finished with a stomp of her elegantly shod hoof. Rarity shook her head at the Cutie Mark Crusaders. “I cannot believe the way those three are acting. Today is about Big Mac and Trixie, not them. They’re acting like foals.” “Me first!” “No, I wanna go first!” “Pinkie said I’m going first because I’m the most famous, and that’s final!” Rarity turned to face the other bridesmares and sighed. “Big… foals…” she mumbled under her breath. “Places, everypony, places!” Pinkie hollered into her megaphone from her chair. It had a black cloth seat and backing, with her name printed on the back. She adjusted the beret on her head and flipped to the next page in a thick sheaf of papers titled, ‘script.’ Her eyes bugged out when she read the next line. “How could I forget?” she muttered to herself as she jumped out the window. Luckily the window was open… this time. Rarity tried to hurry, but had limited room to work in the guest bedroom of the Apples’ farmhouse. The other mares didn’t help either. “You act like you’ve never done a three-tiered mane,” she mumbled under her breath as she worked to fix Lyra’s mane into something befitting a formal occasion. Lyra sat upright on a stool, making the process easier, but her constant bickering with the other bridesmares made up for it. Rarity put one last hair pin into place, sighed, and said, “That’ll have to do.” “Welcome! Please sign the guest book.” Pinkie smiled, pointing with one hoof to direct traffic, another to offer a quill to the newest guest, another to collect the wedding gifts and place them on the table, another to collect and check invitations, and three more to stand on. The mare in front of Pinkie—Apple Cobbler according to the invitation—smiled and said, “Ah never seen a pony do so many thangs at once. Yer right talented there. How do ya do it?” Pinkie shrugged and replied, “Only let your hooves into the frame, not your legs, and you can get away with having a few extras.” Apple Cobbler blinked. “Uhhh… what?” The organ music began. “Oh, we’re a little ahead of schedule! C'mon everypony, have a seat! The wedding is about to start!” The last few Apple relatives shuffled in, turned over their invitations, failed to sign the guest book (like most guests), and took a seat. The Apple family had plenty of relatives, while Trixie had none, so they filled in both sides of the aisle. Twilight stood at the podium under a modest cloth canopy and cleared her throat. Several of the Apples whispered approval at the sight an alicorn to marry their latest family addition. Sweat trickled down Twilight’s neck under the stage lights Pinkie had set up. Looking at the crowd, she wondered, How many are here on account of me? I was hoping this would be a small family affair, but it looks like every Apple family member in Equestria is here! Indeed, the Apples occupied the spacious barn, filling every seat, hay stack, stool, and in the case of foals, backs. She’d never seen so many earth ponies in one space before. The organ music continued, solemn as a funeral dirge. The barn doors opened again, letting the sunlight stream in. Big Mac and Granny Smith walked down the aisle, all smiles. Braeburn tipped his hat with a goofy grin to his cousin as he passed, but couldn’t help but notice the sweat stains spreading around Big Mac’s collar and girth. Granny Smith walked with a thick cane instead of leaning on Big Mac, which Braeburn thought odd as he’d never seen Granny Smith use a cane like that before. She took her place in the front row, sighing as she clutched her walking aid close. Big Mac stood on the right side of the podium, shaking almost imperceptibly. Next, the bridesmares and groomsmares filed in, alternating between the left and right sides of the aisle. Rarity and Applejack entered, taking up their spaces on either side of the podium. Applejack leaned closer to Big Mac and whispered something in his ear. She smiled, and he returned the gesture, but quivered even more. Spike, decked out in his tuxedo and top hat, jogged down the aisle carrying an ornate red pillow. The rings rested proudly upon it, glinting in the sunlight as Spike stood beside Twilight. The whispers of the crowd silenced as three fillies gamboled down the aisle next, tossing flower petals with abandon. The Cutie Mark Crusaders weaved and bumped into each other in their haste to move to the correct side of the aisle. Their antics brought smiles and chuckles to the crowd. After all, how bad could the wedding be with such cute flower fillies? Now the organ music changed pace. Twilight flared her wings and stared intently at the open barn doors. She didn’t need to say anything; the crowd stood, turned, and faced the open door, ready. A pair of mares appeared in the doorway. Trixie stood, resplendent in her veil, white dress, and pregnancy. Pinkie stood next to her, the proud parent of… well… okay she was just filling in because Trixie didn’t have any family. Still, Pinkie did her best to wear the dual hats of wedding coordinator and parent of the bride. Literally. She wore a worn bowler hat on top of her beret and blew bubbles on a corncob pipe. The sight of the two of them made the crowd go quiet. In shock. Trixie trundled down the aisle, Pinkie pronking along beside her. Whispers followed in her wake. “Ah didn’t know she were pregnant.” “Well, she looks… uh… just darlin’.” “At least they found an earth pony ta fill in fer her daddy.” “Ah’m not sure that’s an earth pony. There’s unicorns, pegasi, earth ponies, an’ then there’s Pinkie.” They reached the podium and took their places. Pinkie darted off to the side to sit in the director’s chair, next to Granny Smith in the front row. She took off her bowler hat, adjusted her beret, pulled out the script, and flipped several pages in. Granny Smith leaned close to Pinkie and whispered. “Ya sure this’ll go off without a hitch? Err… with a hitch? Ah mean… ya know what Ah mean!” Pinkie furrowed her brow and whispered back, “Darn it, I knew I should have included an index with the script. How am I going to find where we are in this thing?” “It’s just a weddin’ program, ya don’t need…” Granny Smith trailed off with growing eyes as she watched Pinkie flip past the first hundred pages in her ‘program.’ “We’re gathered here today to join these two in holy matrimony…” Twilight began. The crowd settled in for the speech. Granny Smith nodded, glassy eyes blinking, trying to stay awake. “…Deeper and deeper and deeper into the depths of commitment…” Twilight continued. The Cutie Mark Crusaders giggled, drawing a sharp hiss from Pinkie, who looked at them with the holy fire only a wedding coordinator can bring forth. Granny Smith snored lightly. “…Forever and ever and ever and ever, totally devoted to each other. Bound by the unbreakable chains of marriage…” Twilight showed no signs of speeding up. Braeburn shifted in his seat. He glanced down the row and saw a cowpony hat in every lap. His third-cousin-in-law’s roommate twice-removed pulled out a flask and took a squig when he thought nopony was looking. Braeburn nodded to himself with a smirk. Gonna be a good afterparty! he thought to himself. “…Incredible commitment, impossibly deep love, and unfathomable responsibilities…” Twilight droned on. Rarity blew her nose as quietly as she could. No, Rarity. You won’t cry! she thought to herself. This is a beautiful ceremony, and you need to be strong in front of the newlyweds. They’re good ponies, doing what’s right for the new foal. Rarity sniffed and held back further tears. “…A unity of two hearts becoming one flesh. Nothing can keep these two apart…” Twilight, unbeknownst to everypony except Pinkie, neared the end of her sermon. Pinkie nodded again and again as her eyes followed Twilight’s speech. Her smile grew wider and wider as Twilight droned on. She skipped ahead just a bit, her excitement and anticipation getting the better of her limited self-control. Suddenly, her smile vanished. She stared wide-eyed at the beginning of the next page. “…If anypony believes these two shouldn’t be forever joined, speak now or forever hold your peace…” Twilight spoke the key phrase. Pinkie lept to her hooves. Rainbow Dash stepped forward and opened her mouth, a proud smile on her face. Granny Smith opened her eyes. “Yipe!” Everypony froze with a gasp. Pinkie faced Rainbow Dash, ready to pounce on her and stop her objection. At the last moment, Pinkie realized she’d forgotten to delete Dash’s objection from the program. This wouldn’t do. Dash was ready to do her part as instructed, since Pinkie could be violent if anypony deviated from her plan. Rainbow Dash quivered, staring at the barrel of the shotgun. Anypony near her could clearly see it reflected in her wide eyes. The shotgun did a far better job of shutting her up than even Pinkie’s dangerous glare, because it was both dangerous and unexpected. She never thought she’d be in a situation where such a thing would be pointed in her general direction. Of course, it wasn’t pointed directly at her… Trixie blinked in shock, looking at Big Mac’s tail. Big Mac swallowed, his cold hooves frozen in place, and his crossed eyes staring at the barrel touching his nose. Granny Smith racked the slide on the shotgun and hissed, “Git… back… ta the altar!”