//------------------------------// // Chapter 8 - Class is in Session // Story: Expecting // by Shahrazad //------------------------------// Rarity groaned and sat up. Smacking her lips, and rubbing her head, she looked around, sleep still in her eyes. With a gasp, she spat out a bowtie, and looked at the devastation. She sat on her rump in Twilight’s spare crystal ballroom. Confetti, streamers, puddles of champagne, overturned chairs, cookie crumbs, and other bits scattered about the floor made the scene look like a tornado had passed through. Twilight, Trixie, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy were also scattered around the hall in various, boneless positions, snoring. “Wha-what happened? Why is the floor moving?” Rarity mumbled. Her mouth felt like it was stuffed with cotton. Paper crinkled under her hoof. Bleary-eyed, she picked it up and read the note. Hey, Me, Applejack, and the ‘officers’ locked up after you girls all fell asleep. I’m super-glad you all had fun, especially you, Rarity! Make sure Trixie doesn’t drink any alcohol, she kept forgetting last night, and tried to drink champagne. I’ll be by tomorrow afternoon to clean up. Wow-wee you girls made a mess! That’s how you know it’s a good party! —Pinkie Pie P.S. Applejack says she’s not going to clean this one up, she’s gotta catch up on the applebucking without any “cotton-pickin’ foal-brains around,” whatever that is. P.P.S. Applejack also says you’re a lightweight, Rarity! Rarity looked at the bow tie, blushed bright red, then tip-toed out… ...After a moment, she tip-toed back in, swiped the bow tie, and snuck back out, taking the note with her. Trixie yawned as her eyes fluttered open. Smacking her lips, she looked around. “Trixie isn’t going to clean up this mess… And Trixie is pretty sure she doesn’t have to,” she said with a smirk. The other ponies stirred, bleary-eyed. Rainbow Dash groaned and rubbed her eyes. “That… was awesome!” Twilight’s snores drew Fluttershy wide awake. “D-D-Dragon!” she cried, eyes darting every which way. Trixie giggled. “No, that’s just your esteemed Princess.” “You’re one to talk— you were snoring pretty loudly, too,” Dash replied with a smirk. Trixie blushed. “Trixie has a foal! It’s the foal’s fault!” “Pshh, yeah right!” Dash said with a roll of her eyes. Twilight’s snoring hitched, then stopped as she rolled to her hooves. Stretching like a cat, she yawned wide, her morning breath only slightly better than a real dragon’s fire breath. Every other pony in the room grimaced at the smell. “Pregnant mares often snore. Increased blood flow constricts the nasal passages,” she mumbled. Dash’s brow fell flat. “I thought you were asleep.” “Never too early for learning,” Twilight replied with another yawn. “Speaking of which, I have your first class scheduled for you this afternoon, Trixie.” “Wh-what? What class? Trixie already graduated! Her G.E.D. is valid! Trixie would never commit forgery!” Trixie cried, her eyes shifting left and right. “Not high school. We don’t need any competitive musicals.” Trixie tilted her head at Twilight. “Competitive musicals? There wouldn’t be any real competition; Trixie always has a trick up her sleeve,” she said with a smug grin. Twilight snorted and rolled her eyes. “Let’s get breakfa—” Twilight looked at the sunlight coming through the windows. “Um… make that lunch.” Trixie’s stomach growled. “The foal is hungry. Feed us!” “Oh my… we can’t let the foal go hungry. Let’s get lunch,” Fluttershy said, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. She glanced at her hoof, and blushed when the memories of last night rushed back. “Why are we back here?” Trixie whined, as they stepped into the clinic once again. “Because, this is where the foal classes are being held. Classes start in— Trixie, I already took your new smoke bombs.” Trixie gasped as her hoof slid out from under her hat. “How did you know they weren’t up my sleeve?” “Because you don’t have sleeves,” Twilight replied, then added under her breath, “ever.” Trixie pouted, then waddled into the waiting room and slumped into one of the chairs with a sigh. “Fine, Trixie promises not to gallop away while you retrieve him from the wagon.” “Thank you, Trixie,” Twilight said, as she trotted back outside. “Git in there, ya big galoot!” Applejack commanded. She tried, and failed, to pry Big Mac off of the street lamp. He had all four limbs wrapped around it, shaking like a leaf. Twilight sighed. “C’mon, Big Mac, you need to go to class with her. You haven’t spent enough time with her. Now is your chance to make up for it.” Big Mac whimpered and tightened his grip on the post. “M-Mah life is over!” A tear squeezed itself out of his eye. Applejack stopped, stunned. Twilight gaped, and fumbled for words. “B-Big Mac… I-I know this is all a bit unexpected, but…” Applejack broke out of her reverie, and threw her forelimbs around his neck (and the lamppost as well). Twilight couldn’t hear what Applejack whispered into her brother’s ear, but it worked. He released the lamppost, turned to the clinic, and walked towards the front door. He walked as if he headed to the gallows, his head almost in the dirt. Twilight fell in beside him, and put a wing over him. “Ah’ll get dinner ready for y’all,” Applejack called out. “See? That’s one thing ya kin look forward to!” Big Mac didn’t appear to respond. Twilight forced a smile and mumbled, “Your life isn’t over, Mr. Apple.” He sniffed, and said, “Ah ain’t gonna spread mah wild oats. Ah never really got a chance ta enjoy life. S’all cause o’ that…” “Well, you reap what you sow. If you spread wild oats....” Twilight tried to look jovial, but she couldn’t keep smiling when Big Mac raised his head and looked at her. His eyes had bags under them, and they looked lifeless. “I’m sorry, I can’t even begin to imagine what you’re going through. If there’s anything I can do—” Big Mac stopped and snapped his head to Twilight. “Kin ya stop this weddin’?” Big Mac looked away. “Nevermind,” he mumbled. “Granny Smith won’t allow it.” Twilight froze, like a deer caught in the light of an oncoming train. Big Mac looked so pathetic, trapped, and broken. Looking over her shoulder, she saw Trixie sigh and rub her swollen belly. “Big Mac… if you really want me to use my powers as a Princess to prevent or annul this… I will. But I don’t think you’re giving Trixie a chance. She’s… different now. I think you should give all this a shot.” Twilight lowered her voice. “Trixie acts big and tough, but I don’t think she’s ever had a real friend before; it’s really sad. Maybe you could start there?” Big Mac snorted. “Ah reckon we have some things ta talk about.” “Have you talked to her? I mean, really talked to her since she’s arrived?” Big Mac shook his head. “The class for newborn foals will begin in two minutes. Parents, please step this way,” Nurse Redheart called from across the room. Trixie struggled to stand, as if her belly was filled with stones. A powerful hoof lifted her up, letting her fall to all fours. “Thank you… Mr. Apple?” “Call me Big Mac. S’what my friends call me.” “The Great and Powerful Trixie prefers to be called as such.” “Ah ain’t gonna call ya that.” They hobbled into a side room behind a grey pegasus and a brown earth pony. They took a seat at a long table with the other couple. The grey pegasus sat next to Big Mac; he recognized the mailmare with a start. “Trixie is Great and Powerful, she demands you call her by her proper name.” Nurse Redheart switched on an aging projector and aimed it at a fresh bedsheet hung on the opposite wall to act as a screen. Nurse Redheart glared at Trixie as she began her lesson. “Today we’re going to talk about the birthing process, and what you can expect for the first year or so of the newborn foal’s life. It’s a great deal of material to cover, so I want everypony to listen up so you don’t miss anything.” She gave Trixie the stink eye. “I don’t want anypony to think they’re too good to learn this important lesson.” One hour of sleep-inducing lecture later… “...And that’s how you put on a diaper.” Big Mac scratched his chin with a forehoof, staring at Trixie as she put a diaper on Smartypants. Or at least she tried to. She managed to get the diaper wrapped around the doll’s pelvic region, but it certainly wasn’t going to stop any leaks. The diaper didn’t go between the doll’s legs. Trixie shot daggers at the mass of thread and fluff in her hooves and spat out, “I am the Great and Powerful Trixie, I will not be defeated by a square of cloth!” Next to them, Derpy Hooves used a stuffed rabbit as her surrogate foal. Her crossed eyes focused in concentration. Her face lit up in a smile as she held up her rabbit. “Excellent job, Muffin!” said her companion. The rabbit had a perfectly wrapped diaper. Trixie looked, open-mouthed, at the wall-eyed pegasus. “Maybe try it like this?” Big Mac asked. He reached over, pulled the corner of the diaper cloth, rewound it, and smirked. Smartypants now looked like a proper foal. “Trixie can do this!” Redheart rolled her eyes and mumbled under her breath, “You can’t even go to the bathroom yourself. How are you going to keep your foal from making a mess?” Trixie unwrapped the diaper and tried again… Yet another hour later… Nurse Redheart reached out for the light switch. She glanced at Smartypants, who had a diaper wrapped around her head like a turban. She shook her head and flicked the switch. “Everypony, I want you to watch this short video. It will explain the benefits of teatfeeding from leading medical minds. Sorry about the video being a little dated, but it does get the point across.” As the movie started, she sank into a chair in the dark corner of the room and took a sip of her ‘special’ coffee. Big Mac leaned close to Trixie and whispered, “We need ta talk.” Trixie turned to him and whispered back, “About what?” The movie started. “Hello, I’m Doctor Tunt. I’m going to explain how teatfeeding is going to make for better foals, better families, and even a better society!” “Us. That night we… ya know.” Trixie’s ears went back. “Oh… that. Trixie doesn’t actually remember everything, on account of all the alcohol.” The video continued, “Teatfeeding is the most important thing you can do for your newborn foal. There are many benefits, including a healthier foal. Formula can cause obesity, among other problems.” Trixie and Big Mac tuned the video out, while Derpy stared at the movie, transfixed. Or at least she stared with one eye. The other seemed to find the spiderweb in the corner of the room interesting. “Ah remember it. ‘Least Ah remember most of it. That’s the problem. Ah… kinda lose mah head when Ah git drink in me.” Trixie smirked. “You may have lost your head, but you still have large… hooves,” she tittered. The video droned on, “…Teatfeeding has been associated with higher intelligence later in life. Therefore…” Big Mac’s mouth fell into a line. “You… ya jus’ used me, didn’t ya?” Trixie arched her neck and leaned back. “Trixie didn’t force you to do anything.” Unnoticed by the chatty Big Mac, the video continued on, “…Additionally, formula will cause the foal to have food allergies later in life. Even if the foal wants formula, you should continue to teatfeed…” “No, but Ah didn’t really have much choice, did Ah?” Trixie arched a brow. “Trixie did not force you to do anything, but you did not have a choice? Trixie gave you free drinks, and offered companionship. Trixie does not see how this takes away your choices. She did not use her power to force you to do anything.” Trixie swallowed, and her voice cracked. “Trixie felt on top of the world that night. And wanted a pony to love and adore her, just for once.” Derpy and her companion focused on the video. “…A mother’s milk is the most amazing, life-giving liquid. Nothing else comes close. It can even lower the chance of SIDS…” “Ya might not have forced me ta drink, but ya woulda taken it out on the town if’n Ah didn’t. Thunderlane tried puttin’ his moves on ya, but ya jus’ didn’t like ‘im. Ah guess ya don’t like ‘em with wings. He caught me in the market an’ said if’n Ah didn’t make ya happy, you’d make every stallion in town yer slave.” Trixie let out a low gasp and whispered back, “Trixie wouldn’t have forced all of the stallions to be slaves. Just enough to build a twenty-foot solid gold statue of Trixie. Oh, and then two more, one to fan me, and another to feed me grapes.” Derpy let out a gasp, while her companion raised an eyebrow. “…Teatfeeding is so important, it will lead to a healthier, more peaceful society, without war or disease!” “Y-Ya mean ya wouldn’t have worked us ta death?” Trixie blushed. “Trixie admits she wasn’t the nicest when she wore the alicorn amulet, but she wasn’t wearing it at the time. And Trixie didn’t care for the other stallions. The Great and Powerful Trixie selected you because she liked you. In fact, Trixie still thinks you have one of the hottest pieces of—” “MUFFINS!” Derpy launched herself at the bedsheet, which showed a smiling mother with a dozen freshly baked muffins, offering them to her foals. Nurse Redheart flicked on the lights. On the other end of the room, Derpy struggled under the bedsheet. With a rip, she tore it open and popped her head up from the heap. “I just don’t know what went wrong!” Big Mac flopped into his bed, exhausted. The class lasted until well after dark, and he couldn’t stop thinking about it. Tossing and turning, he tried and failed to sleep. With a creak, his door cracked open. With a start, he looked up to find Trixie tip-toeing inside his room. “Big Mac, are you awake?” “Eeeyup.” “Trixie would like to sleep here tonight, instead of the guest room.” “What ‘bout Granny Smith?” “You can blame Trixie. Say she snuck into your bed. Just don’t wax your—” “Okay, okay, git in.” Trixie climbed into bed, and lay on her left side. Pulling his forelimbs around herself like a blanket, she rubbed her flank into his stomach. With a smirk, she whispered, “Trixie can tell you enjoy having her here as well. If you’re so worried about the future, just imagine what it would be like to have the Great and Powerful Trixie in your bed every night for the rest of your life.” Big Mac pulled her tight against him. As her warmth spread through his body, he thought, Maybe this won’t be s’bad after all. He grunted. Damnit, now Ah gotta wax mah—