//------------------------------//
// Chapter 3: Really, I just. Wanted. Coffee. 
// Story: Disenchanted 
// by PaisleyPerson 
//------------------------------//


Chapter 3
Really, I just. Wanted. Coffee.


Silence rang throughout the castle and tension hung in the air. Or perhaps that was all just in my head. I couldn’t really tell in this state, nor did I care. Shift had escorted me to the Everfree Castle, which appeared larger and more terrifying than I had imagined it in my stories. Still, the interior was slightly more welcoming than the dark outer shell, and I stumbled close behind Shift as he easily navigated the labyrinth. He had assured me that we were getting close to our destination when my hooves ground to a halt. Then remained still. And then took one, two, three steps back. This time, I couldn’t truthfully say that they gained a mind of their own- I suspect I had consented to this action, or perhaps even initiated it. Why, you ask? Well, because there was a strange mare giving me a very odd look in that last room. 
I returned her rude stare with frightening accuracy. I stood for almost a full minute before realizing that this mare was actually me. A mirror blocked entry to this room, hence my confusion. I didn’t want to believe it, but sure enough, she matched my every movement, never missing a beat. Did I really look like that? A petite muzzle had replaced my nose, and two tall, twitchy ears poked through my bangs. And the hair... oh, the hair! The bright fuchsia locks made it the hardest to believe that this was really me. My hair used to be dark, thick, curly, and constantly tangled, nothing like these thin, pathetic wisps. And it was much longer now, too, draped over the side of my elongated neck to brush the top of my shoulder. It was cut at an angle, I noticed, as were my bangs and tail. They each resembled something close to a teardrop shape. ‘Or a paisley,’ I realized, heart dropping in my chest. I checked again for a cutie mark, wondering if and perhaps hoping I had been mistaken in all the confusion of the bogg. But no, all that adorned my flanks was a layer of beige fur. 
“You look like you’ve never seen your own reflection before.” A second figure appeared in the mirror, and I didn’t even turn to greet Shift.
“I haven’t.” His reflection turned to face mine, and I felt my face go hot. I really didn’t want him to see me cry. Again. Luckily, he wouldn’t have to.
“Come on,” his kind eyes invited me. “Char’s gathering the others. Then you can explain exactly what happened, and we’ll see what we can do to help. Yeah?” It was all I could do to nod and follow. I felt one of his massive, crystalline wings curl around my side. I drifted closer to him, aware but not bothered by how strange it looked. I didn’t really know Shift, at least not in person, but I didn’t know anyone else here, either. He was the closest thing I had to a friend at present, and a friend was exactly what I needed. All I could do was lean in close and pray that the others would be as kind as he.





“Oh, yeah, sure! Of course we believe you!” Spectrum’s face was strained, struggling to maintain such a large and obviously fake smile. Then more quietly but still perfectly audible he added, “Someone call Nurse Redheart.” The rest of our company, all seated around a long conference table in the Everfree Castle, remained as still and silent as they had started. 
“I told you, Shift, I told you!” I kicked out against the table, nearly overturning the chair I was seated on as I scooted out. I had been seated at the end of the table closest to the door, so I didn’t have far to go. Shift, too, jumped from his seat even more clumsily than I, and raced me to the exit. He had completely overturned his chair, and his leaps were wobbly, yet somehow he still beat me.
“Hey, hey, hey!” He chanted, bounding in front to block my escape. “Just hang on. Guys? Come on, you believe her, right?” The group looked skeptically between themselves. Shift cleared his throat, nodding violently in my direction. 
“Well, I guess it wouldn’t be the craziest thing we’ve ever heard...” Pound attempted. By the tone of his voice, I was unsure if he was trying to convince me of its truth or himself.
“R-Right,” Spectrum coughed after the older pegasus elbowed him. 
“Still, the probability of there being any truth to this scenario is extremely low,” Fink voiced. “Think single digits, possibly decimals.” I hung my head and tried again to leave. This time, Shift grasped me firmly in his bright blue aura, and swiveled me back around to face Charcoal at the opposite end of the table.
“Whoa!”
“Char? Help me out here buddy!” His eyes pleaded with the prince, if just for my sake. The green stallion remained silent, his eyes thoughtful as they skimmed me over for the umpteenth time. 
“I suppose anything is possible...” he eventually stated. I felt one of the knots in my stomach slowly unwind, hope blooming in my chest. Unlike his comrades, I detected no doubt or skepticism in his voice. Just... curiosity. 
“Despite the improbable odds, I must agree,” Topaz coolly lifted her chin. “I do not believe she is lying. At the very least, she herself believes it all to be true.” My ears perked up and my hopes soared. Even Smoky was siding with me? I would have thought her the hardest to win over out of the six. 
“Are you sure?” Fink raised an eyebrow. 
“Quite,” she nodded, gaze never leaving mine. “I cast a lie-detecting spell as soon as she walked in.” Oh. My ears drooped again. ‘Thanks for the vote of confidence, Topaz.’
“Okay, then,” Charcoal haltingly began, equally surprised that his mentor should jump to such drastic measures. “So, I guess the next step is figuring out exactly what happened to bring you here, so we can reverse it and send you home.”
“Indeed,” Topaz solemnly agreed, gracefully sliding from her seat.
“So... you’re going to help me? Just like that?” I stumbled when Shift released his hold on me. 
“Sure,” Charcoal casually shrugged. Though he acted nonchalant, a knowing smile crept onto his face. “This is sort of what we do.”
“What did I tell you?” Shift’s wild, wacky grin had returned, and he cheerfully winked down at me. Relief overwhelmed me, and I couldn’t help but smile back.
“Yeah! Never doubted you for a sec!” Spectrum boasted, starting to slide out of his chair. A mischievous twinkle shone in Pound’s eyes just before he extended a hoof, catching Spectrum’s hind leg just before it hit the ground. Rainbow’s son’s eyes bulged as his legs slid out from under him, and he landed face-first on the ground. “OOF!”
“Sure ya did, pal,” Pound smirked, exiting far more gracefully than he. 
“Wait, where are you all going?” Fink called, the only one still remaining in his seat. Everypony else had left or was on their way out. “This meeting is not adjourned!”
“Sure it is. Here, meeting adjourned,” Charcoal recited. 
“You really gotta be that formal, Fink?” Shift chuckled.
“That’s not what I mean. We still have not discussed arrangements for our new guest. Where will she stay? Who’s going to provide for her? There is no telling how long Paisley might be here.” I cringed, the realization that I was stuck here hitting hard, punctuated by the use of my new name. 
“She’ll stay in the castle of course,” Charcoal stated, as if it were a no-brainer. 
“Will Princess Essence agree to this?” The thestral still wasn’t convinced.
“I’m certain she will. This is Princess Essence we’re talking about,” Char chuckled.
“Yeah, ye of little faith,” Shift trotted over and clapped Fink rather roughly with his wing, nearly displacing the poor stallion from his chair. “It’ll all be fine!”
“That is not the only issue at stake here!” Fink hollered even louder, giving up on the formalities and chasing Charcoal out of the room. With a shrug, Shift followed suit and gestured for me to follow him. “If she is telling the truth and she is a human in this other world... well... who’s going to teach her how to be a pony? Just look at her! She can barely walk!”
“Hey, I thought I was doing pretty good,” I huffed, snorting as Shift caught me from almost tripping over my own tail. 
“That’s a good point Fink,” Charcoal rubbed his chin. “Thanks for volunteering!” 
“WHAT?” Shift lost it, and broke down rolling and clutching his stomach, absolutely howling with laughter. I clutched my stomach as well, but it certainly wasn’t from laughter. Fink as a mentor? I knew my characters well enough to realize that this wouldn’t exactly be a walk in the park for either of us. “But your highness-!”
“Charcoal. My name is Charcoal,” the prince interrupted. 
“Charcoal,” Fink corrected, “I have duties that I must attend to! Surely-”
“Oh, put a sock in it,” Shift rolled his eyes, still giddy but slowly recovering. He rolled back over onto his hooves, shook the dust from his coat and slung a heavy hoof across my back. “I don’t have any real job around here- I’ll show her the ropes.” Char grinned in such a way I wondered if that had been his intention all along. He turned to Fink, sighing with relief.
“What do you say, Fink?” he teased. 
“Thank you,” the thestral grumbled, voice dripping with sarcasm. 
“In that case,” Charcoal started down the hall once more. “Why don’t you take Paisley down to the kitchen? Get yourselves a proper coffee. And Fink? Could you send to have a room prepared for her?”
“Of course, Charcoal,” Fink sighed through gritted teeth. He cast me a look of contempt that could be interchangeable with pity. Then he turned and headed in the opposite direction, digging into his saddlebags all the while. Shift, unfazed by Fink’s uncharacteristic hostility, bounced cheerfully in front of me. 
“Come on!” he beckoned, leaping down yet a third hallway. “This will be fun!”
‘If you say so, Fink. If you say so.’





“So humans don’t have... hooves?” Shift disbelievingly asked for the fourth time. He anxiously watched as I shakily gripped the paper cup, and ultimately let it slip from my hooves yet again. The lukewarm liquid splashed to the ground- the staff had stopped giving me properly hot coffee, or real porcelain mugs for that matter, after my first three accidents. 
“Or magic,” I irritably grumbled, dragging the sopping wet towel over the spillage. “Didn’t Twilight tell you?”
“Well, I’d heard but... it’s just hard to imagine,” he chuckled, feeling for a fresh towel with his aura. He promptly exchanged it for the soiled one in preparation for my next spill. He softly chuckled. “How do you get anything done?”
“With hands!” I fussed with the handle of the pot to pour another cup. “They’re so much easier! You can just stick your fingers through the handle and grip it instead of trying to balance it over your hoof and hope the thing doesn’t tip.”
“You can still grip it with hooves,” Shift argued. “Look.” His blue glow secured the pot and it floated into his hooves with ease. “Just support it with part of your forearm- sort of curl it in- and keep your other hoof on the bottom.”
“Easy for you to say,” I huffed as he sent it back. I did, however, try this new technique, though I suspect dumb luck was all that kept it from slipping from my grasp. The liquid dribbled forth, some of it sloshing onto the counter but most of it arriving at its intended destination. 
“And for the cup, just do the same thing,” Shift shrugged casually, perfectly performing the same task in a fraction of the time in order to demonstrate. I watched him take a sip, and though these paper cups had no handle, it was the same principal. I anxiously attempted the same. Though my hooves trembled, the first sustenance I’d had in over twelve hours trickled down my throat. I coughed in surprise, not really expecting to have achieved my goal. Shift grinned, “See? Not so hard, is it?”
“I wouldn’t go that far,” I cleared the last of the blockage from my throat, not realizing how dry it had gotten. I took another sip of the lukewarm, black coffee, and cringed. Shift needed no words to translate the message.
“Hey, French Vanilla? Can we get a fresh pot over here? And creamers, etc.? I think we’re finally ready for a real coffee,” he winked. I weakly smiled gratitude.
“I’ve sent Canvas Tote for more coffee grounds,” the irritable kitchen mare called with an agitated tail swish. “He still hasn’t returned.”
“You let our coffee supply get that low?” Shift disbelievingly inquired with a deadpan, almost horrified expression. 
“Well, had you two not squandered the last of it, the current supply would have held out until tomorrow’s shipment,” she snapped. While I flinched, Shift wasn’t phased in the least. He shrugged and turned back to me. 
“No prob. Let’s go down to Ponyville instead. There’s this awesome bakery called Sugar Cube Corner there. We can get coffee and some real food, too. Sound good?” My stomach gurgled in response, and I blushed. 
“Yeah,” I quietly chuckled. 
“Come on, then! It’s this way!” Shift was already halfway out the door. My legs shot out from beneath me, desperately chasing after the stallion as though my life depended on it. Even knowing that the thestrals had tamed its monstrous inhabitants, I really didn’t fancy getting lost in the Everfree. 
‘Sugar Cube Corner,’ my mind wandered as I dashed over newly constructed roads. I couldn’t help but wonder if I might meet any of the mane six. ‘Oh, who am I kidding? I’m a brony in Equestria and already have the in’s with not only a prince but the son of the Seventh Element. It’s only a matter of time.’ 
So I sprinted after Shift, presumably on my way to meet the rest of the Cake family, and perhaps the Element of Laughter. 
Really, I just. Wanted. Coffee.