//------------------------------// // 2. Dear Discord, I'm never writing to you again! // Story: Seven Scrolls For Discord // by Lise //------------------------------// Six scrolls to go. Hardly much, but then again Discord had told himself he would allow himself only one scroll before bed. To read more might lead to nightmares and indigestion, possibly both, and he was in no mood to have to explain himself to Luna. "Oh, maybe just one more." He looked at the ceiling guiltily, then, succumbing to his guilty pleasure grabbed another scroll from the pile. This one was slightly different — it had a slight scent of Begonias... Dear Discord, I'm never writing to you again! Or talking! Or looking! And if I were writing, it would only be to tell you how absolutely, terribly uncouth you were! Why, I caught Sweetie Belle almost reading that disgusting drivel you sent all over town! Even Spike has read it! He didn't say a thing, but the way he avoided my glance could mean only one thing — he suspects there is something going on between us. How could you! After all the times I had to tolerate your tasteless pranks, your despicable table manners, your shameless hunking about! Your very existence is a crime against fashion! Celestia help me, if I had the power, I would lock you in some dreary beige dungeon and keep you there until I fully reform you into something at least marginally presentable! I honestly don't know how Fluttershy puts up with you, I really don't! "Brown suits me", my hoof! You wouldn't know fashion if it stood up and bit you in the And don't get me started how you and your "friend" ruined so many of my outfits at the Gala! Not only that, but you publicly disrobed me in front of everypony! Well, I hope you enjoyed the view, for it is unlikely that a similar opportunity will ever arise! And you have the audacity to refer to it in your letter, the letter you sent to everypony! So, as I mentioned, it is a good thing I'm not writing to you! You have daughters! Oh, my goodness, I simply must meet them. Hopefully, they have taken after their mothers, which would make them the most adorably fashionably beautiful things. I am shocked and hurt you haven't introduced them to me yet. Do you possibly think I can't handle a pair of sweet girls? I would have you know I practically raised Opalescence and Sweetie Belle. Compared to them, chaos magic seems like a welcome oasis of calm and stability. There is one thing you have correctly surmised, though — my love life is going nowhere. It is hardly a secret that Spike has a crush on me, and I do find it very sweet, but we simply aren't meant for one another. It will break his little heart when he finds about you and I. I know I have to be gentle about it, but the more I delay, the worse it is likely to get. I could tell he had been crying before I went to him. The poor dear. I so wish there was some other way. I hope he finds somepony who will love him back with as much passion, I sincerely do. These things make you wonder about life. How will I break the news? How will I tell my friends? To be honest, I'm not sure how well they will take to such news. With the exception of Fluttershy, I am not even sure the others have fully accepted you yet, not to the degree we are talking about. And there's the issue with the Princesses. How would they react? I don't know what you assume we have, but I am not ruining my relationship with them merely for your sake. I strongly suggest you find the courage and explain the matter to them directly. Meanwhile, I could start giving your daughters fashion lessons. As careers go, it's definitely not the easiest, but by far the most refined. I am glad that at least someone in your family has taste. Incidentally, I'll have you know that I don't play with dolls, nor do I hide them. Those are miniature mannequins that I use to gain inspiration and imagine the appropriate clothing on a smaller scale before starting to work on a larger scale. As an artiste, I thought you would understand. Furthermore, my roleplaying with them is purely for professional purposes! In order to create the perfect outfit, one has to put oneself in the other's hooves and see the world from their point of view. And the only reason I put them away is not to get damaged, and don't you dare suggest otherwise! Tell me, honestly, though, when did you first notice? Was it when I wore my one-of-a-kind, custom made, purple chaotic dress at the dinner party you hosted at Fluttershy's? I know it caught your eye, and, as bad as it may be saying this, I did feel the tinsiest bit jealous of her. The two of us have known each other for quite some time, yet her saying that she was your friend was quite the shock. Thank the stars it turned out she meant ‘friend’ and not ‘friend friend’. I could hardly live with myself if I had crushed her heart by winning you over. Well, it was nice writing to you, but I need to start preparing for the move to "your place". I do hope it's large and comfortable enough. And there will be no chaos allowed as long as I'm there! Well, maybe a bit... for artistic purposes, but that's it! See you shortly, Love, Rarity P.S. I couldn't possibly get the things you asked for, but do you think you could be a dear and make your magic cloud drop a Luna doll near the Boutique? Sweetie Belle has been wanting one for a while, so I think it would be sweet of you to give her that. Please? "Luna doll?" Discord arched a brow. "You want me to give you a doll?! Why, if I hadn't sent the cloud already, I'd—" he abruptly stopped, noticing something fall to the ground the moment he unrolled the last part of the scroll. It was nothing more than a few strands of mane-hair... purple mane-hair. "Oh, my," the draconequus carefully picked them up, then with the snap of his fingers placed them in a frame on the wall... right above the frame of the second scroll. Apparently, Rarity had a thing for him too, and yet she still wasn't the author of the original letter. "Screwball, dear!" Discord shouted. "What do you think about a career in fashion?"