Dear….
Hey, it’s me again. How are you, still flying around the clouds? That’s good. I always hoped you would be. I know that you don’t read these letters anymore, probably never did, but I have to write these letters...I need to. I have to hope maybe one day you will read these and understand why I did what I did.
First you have to know the situation I was in. I was dating this colt named Rumble, your father. When I first met him, he was nice and sweet and cute…I thought he was the best. He was so nice in the beginning, he made me special, like I was loved, cared about me when no one else did. I really thought that he was the one. I should have listened to your aunt Sweetie Belle and aunt Apple Bloom. They tried to warn me he was no good, but I wouldn’t listen, I ignored the signs. Over time he showed his true colors…he said bad things…did bad things….
Your biological father, Rumble, well… he attacked me and that's how I became pregnant with you. I didn't even have my cutie mark yet, and had no idea how I could possibly care for a foal. I ended up panicking three months along. No one had noticed so no one could question what was happening to me. So…I made a decision. I’ve been haunted by it ever since….
I was scared, so I...ended…..no. I aborted you.
I’m so, so sorry!
Being scared is no excuse! If I'd have been a little older, maybe I wouldn’t have done it. Maybe I could have raised you. But I didn't. I killed you. I couldn't take care of you and I couldn't guarantee you a good home. So, I figured I spare you from a horrible life and protect you from your father. I was terrified of him...I couldn’t let him near you or know you existed. So I never told him.
How could you ever forgive or love me? Because of me, you were never born. I know I can't bring you back nor ever make up for it, but I do want you to know I regret every second of the day that I took away your chance at life. You'll never have a cutie mark nor go to school or see the Wonderbolts soar through the sky. And it’s all my fault.
And I'll always hate myself for taking that away from you. And if you do too, I understand why.
If I could go back in time, I would stop myself. I would have thought of something better. I'd have asked my friends for help, lived in the treehouse, worked three jobs—anything but hurt you.
Sometimes I pull my old baby blanket out of the closet and think about how I'd have brought you home in it. I read my old story books and think about how I'd have read to you every night until you were asleep. I look at the rocking chair in the living room and think about how I'd have sung to you every time I'd give you a bottle. But I can't, and I'll never be able to.
Because of me, you were never born.
All I can say is I'm so sorry and I love you so much! I don’t ever expect you to forgive me, let alone love me. There's no way to bring you back and no way turn back time. You're always in my heart and you'll always be my angel, flying in the clouds where I can never reach.
Love, Mommy
Tears hit the letter as a shaking purple claw finished reading. Spike was in shock of the emotions behind the letter.
"Scoot had told me about the rape and abortion,"thought Spike as he skimmed over the letter again, making sure he hadn’t missed something. "But she never told how much it hurt her."
Spike placed the letter back into a small box under the bed. The box was full of similar letters. All of them written to the unborn foal….some even smudged with tears from the writer. Some of the letters near the top weren’t as smudged as others.
“What’s this one about?” asked Spike as he picked up the letter to read it.
Hey angel,
I have great news! Mommy’s getting married!! You remember mister Spike? He finally asked to marry me! He knows about you, and he’s sorry he never got to meet you. But he bets you would have made a perfect step-daughter…I’m sorry you’ll never meet him. Maybe one day…yeah one day.
I’m still sorry and as always I love you and miss you.
Love, Mommy.
“Spikey!” said a voice calling out to the dragon. Before Spike could put the letter back, his wife Scootaloo was standing in the doorway rubbing her pregnant belly. “There you are—”
“Scootaloo! I...I can explain,” said Spike, panicking with the letter still in his hand.
Before he could continue, Scootaloo reached out and hugged him tightly. “It’s okay. I knew you would find the letters eventually.”
Spike put the letter back as he nuzzled his wife’s orange coat. “I...I didn’t know it hurt you that much.”
Scootaloo only looked to the ground. “It still does…I still think about the life I could’ve had with it and—” The orange pegasus stopped mid-sentence after a kiss from her husband.
“The life we would have had with it,” said Spike with a comforting smile.
“Y….yes. We would have had….” Scootaloo only looked nervously at her belly and rubbed.
“You worried about the baby?” asked Spike as he rubbed her belly with her. Scootaloo only sat down on their bed in silence, on the verge of tears. “Sweetheart, you're not betraying her by having another baby.”
“How do you know!?” screamed Scootaloo as tears rolled down her face. “I don’t deserve to be a mother! I don’t deserve to be your wife!”
Spike quickly hugged her tightly and buried her face in his scales. “I know you feel that way, Scoot. But this is an opportunity to make up for past mistakes. It won’t change anything, but you can promise to raise our foal for the one you lost.”
“R…really?” asked Scootaloo as she looked up at the dragon with tears in her eyes. Spike only gave her a smile and a nod as he helped her wipe the tears out of her eyes. “O...okay…I Pinkie Promise.”
Somewhere in the distance, they could hear somepony shouting in a high-pitched voice: “NEVER BREAK A PINKIE PROMISE!!”
“W...will you help me write a letter?” Scootaloo looked almost ashamed for asking.
“Of course!” answered Spike in excitement as he grabbed some paper and parchment and began to write.
Dear angel,
Hello angel, I’m Spike. I’m your stepdad. Me and your mommy have some important news for you.
Hey, sweetheart, this is mommy and I'm pregnant with your half-brother or sister. I know you'll do a good job protecting them until they're born.
I know you will be a good big sibling and watch over them always, won’t you?
Mommy loves you, and Stepdaddy does too, and we’re both trusting you to watch over them and keep them safe. We're sorry you’re not going to be here for them with us, but never forget: we love you, just as much as always.
Goodnight, our sweet little Wonderbolt
Love, Mommy and Daddy
Later that night, while Spike and Scootaloo were deep in sleep, a tall, dark-coated princess of the night in Canterlot manipulated the expecting mother’s dreams.
Scootaloo found herself in a large green field with a tiny voice calling out to her in the distance.
“Mommy! Mommy!” yelled a small, purple-scaled kirin colt in excitement as he jumped from the grass to give Scootaloo a hug.
“What is it, honey?” asked Scootaloo as she hugged her son.
“I…I saw her!”
“Who, sweetie?”
“My sister!” he yelled in excitement as a small, silver-coated, purple-maned pegasus filly flew over to them. Scootaloo was in awe of the filly as she hovered only a few feet away from Scootaloo and her son, both standing in silence.
Without any warning, the little filly wrapped her hooves around her mother's neck. “I love you too, mommy,” the filly said with tears in her eyes, “and I forgive you.”
Scootaloo could only cry and hold the filly tightly, not wanting to ever let go.
The kirin looked up at his mother with bright eyes. “Mommy, sing to us!”
“Please mommy, sing for us!” the filly exclaimed.
“Alright, sweethearts,” Scootaloo gave the biggest smile and took a deep breath before starting, finally getting her wish to sing for her foals.