//------------------------------//
// Pushing Me 
// Story: If Fear Divides, Courage Unites 
// by SoloBrony 
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Sleep can work wonders when you're stressed. There's nothing like a nice, long rest to really give you perspective on things.

Or you can have nightmares and wake up over and over again, and eventually drag yourself out of bed even less at ease than when you went to bed. Which is what I did.

I knew I should have tried to wind down before crashing last night.

I glared at the boiling pot of spinach on the stove as I fastened my lacy , pink apron (it was a gift, okay?) and idly considered my self-worth. I felt bad about having gotten up so late, but it wasn't like I had anything to do today. I definitely wasn't going to work on the house again. No way.

The next cultural exchange group will be here in a couple of days. Maybe I could do something special for them this time.

I frowned, realizing the irony of my situation. Just yesterday, my fear of ponies had nearly made me choke in front of a classroom of foals – supposedly, though I didn't really believe it, the least threatening of ponies.

There's just no way around it. I don't trust ponies. Hell, I don't even trust other changelings, come to think of it, and yet I'm the one welcoming them here, telling them, oh yeah, come to Ponyville, it's the most welcoming place there is. Hrn.

It wasn't that I didn't honestly believe that. The ponies had never given me any trouble – despite my agonizing, constant concern that there would be an angry mob on my doorstep any day now.

I guess it's just, Pinkie aside, I never felt welcomed here. Wanted.

'If one holds themselves in disdain, they will be blind to the respect paid to them by others.'

I smacked my face with a hoof, remembering more of my old friend's words. It wasn't enough for me to dwell on it when I was trying to work on the house, oh no, now I was going to obsess over it at home. Just perfect.

I sighed, stirring the pot again. As I stared at the boiling water, I slowly came to realize something.

I guess that's why I took to welcoming changelings to Ponyville. It started with Twilight asking me to, but I found I actually liked it. This must be why. Yeah, that's it!

I smacked one hoof into the other in a gesture of determination, starting to grin like a madpony.

No one else is going to feel like they're not wanted here! I'm going to make sure that they have the—AAAAH WHAT THE HECK SOMEONE'S AT THE DOOR OH GOD THE WATER IT BURNS AHHHHHHHH

I had nearly jumped out of my carapace at the sound of someone knocking on my front door, and ended up with scalding water on my hoof for my trouble. I stumbled around blowing on it as I tried to rapidly clean up the living room a bit.

"Coming, coming!"

Someone's here! No one ever comes to visit me here OH MY GOD IT'S THE MOB THEY'VE FINALLY COME FOR ME no wait that's stupid it's probably just Twilight or something I NEED TO CALM DOWN

I really needed to calm down.

So, I finally worked my way to the door, and spent a couple of seconds getting my breathing under control. Once I felt like I wouldn't make a scene, I forced the biggest smile on my face that I could, and I reached to open the door, when loud knocks suddenly rang out from it, forcing me back a step as I flattened my ears to dampen the sudden noise.

"Open up, changeling! I know you're in there!"

I stared at the door in horror for a few seconds, before some other feeling took hold of me. My face felt strangely rigid as I slowly opened the door. On the other side was a lime-green mare with a white mane, who seemed almost surprised that I had opened the door. Her eyes drifted to my apron, and we just stared at each other in silence for a few moments. I shifted uneasily, not sure what to do in this situation, and finally broke the silence.

"Uhh... did you need something?"

She seemed to jerk back to reality and glared at me.

"My daughter told me that you went to her classroom yesterday."

Oh crap oh crap it's actually an angry mob or at least one pony is a single pony a mob oh crap

"U-uh, y-yeah that's true I did."

Her face suddenly took on a kind of awful smile. It reminded me of something – I wasn't quite sure what, but something bad.

"And so you think that's okay, do you?"

"W-well, I'd been asked to—"

"It's not, you hear me? You had better stay away from my foals! "

I stared at her for a few moments. The fear was still there, but that other emotion was back. Almost like... curiosity.

"Because I'm a changeling?"

She seemed taken aback. I guess I was a little blank-faced; she must have expected more of a reaction.

"You, uh, you know why!"

"No, that's why I'm asking. Is it because I'm a changeling?"

"Your people invaded Canterlot!"

I honestly wasn't sure what to make of her behavior. One minute, she seemed almost happy, now she seemed really uncertain. Something about the whole situation really bothered me.

"So I guess that's a 'yes'. Does that mean... does that mean you're going to act like this towards every changeling who comes into Ponyville?"

I said the last part very slowly and deliberately, and I started to realize what was bugging me.

"Hey! This is my home, you can't tell me how to—"

"Actually, this—" I tapped on the doorframe meaningfully "—is my home. And you know what? Princess Twilight asked me to give that talk at the school yesterday. So if you have something to complain about, why don't you go to her, and maybe while you're at it you can ask her to sort out your stupid attitude!"

I slammed the door and locked it, and then staggered away, a bit in a daze. You know how in stories, when a timid character gets aggressive, they feel all accomplished?

That didn't happen. I actually just went downstairs into my bedroom-basement, laid down, and pretty much just went back and forth between 'Oh no what did I just do they're going to kick me out of the town' and 'Where did that even come from? That wasn't like me at all.'

At least, that's how it went until I realized it had been an hour and my stew was ruined.