//------------------------------// // 3 // Story: Happiness Is What You Make Of It // by Nameless Narrator //------------------------------// I'm a little dizzy. Not eating anything for two days would do that to a pony. Still, my diet is progressing perfectly, and now I have a batch wooden planks stashed in the boiler room as well. Once the week rolls over, then I'll be paid my precious twenty-five bits, buy some cheap food, and I'll have gained the planks for basically free. The good thing about little discomfort now is that I have a mop I can prop myself with so that I don't fall. I dropped it few times when my head spun too hard and my stomach cramped, but thankfully there was nopony in the barracks hallway at the time. I would not want them to think I can't do my job. There aren't many positions a pony like me can do properly and I like this one, so I have to be careful the guards don't realize they can easily find somepony much more skilled to clean their place. The guards don't like it when I look at them. I think they believe I should focus on the floor so I don't miss anything. See? THEY are smart. and I can learn a lot by just hanging around. Oh, hey! There's a muddy hoofprint I covered with my trolley. I would have missed it if I was looking anywhere else than at the floor. "Bluuh..." my head spins again and I have to sit down for a moment. Damn, somepony is coming. With a wall to keep me steady, I reorganize the cleaning supplies on the trolley and wait for the ponies to pass. "Oh, hey!" a mare's pleasantly surprised voice greets me as I focus mostly on my hooves shuffling the various bottles of stuff which I use basically randomly as I don't really understand most of the labels. I shouldn't be here to distract others, but since I already am, I ought to be polite until they get bored with me and do their more important stuff. Still, ponies never greet me or anything, do they need something? "Helou, mem," I bow to Eclipse and a strong earthpony mare, yellow with rusty mane. "Who is this?" the earthpony asks, "Never seen him here before." "Greyscale, the... caretaker. Sargeant Grey Shrine pointed me to him when my bed broke. He fixed it pretty fast," Eclipse explains. "Ooooh!" the other mare smiles in my direction. I quickly check if there is somepony behind me. There isn't, so she has to be smiling at me! Wooow! "So this guy is responsible for your ass not hanging two inches from my face every morning?" she raises her hoof, "Not sure if I should thank him or punch him," she grins and Eclipse blushes, "Name's Piercing Hit. Nice to meet you, Greyscale." "Nais too meat yoo," I shake her hoof after some hesitation. Since she's with Eclipse, I decided to repeat the previously successful gesture. "You talk weird," she comments, eyebrow raised. "Ai em dum," I scratch my head. It feels strange to say it openly, but I can't lie. I'm not smart enough to keep a lie up, so it would only bite me in the butt later, "But Ai dont talk mush, so its fain," I beam at her. Situation solved! A little compliment can only make things better, "Yoo ar smart and yoo ken undrstand mee." "Uhh, yeah," she shifts on her hooves, giving me an unsure smile. Thankfully, more ponies are coming so the mares will likely leave and won't have to be uncomfortable around me anymore. "Hey, girls!" a white unicorn with blonde mane and a crossed swords cutie mark greets the girls and gives me an annoyed glance. Do I still smell bad? I sniff around. Nope, only desinfectant and a hint of sweat. Perhaps he is just annoyed that I am disgracing the barracks with my presence. He looks like a highborne unicorn, so it is possible. They are kind of elitist, but they can use magic and stuff, which I can't, so he is probably right. It's not my fault no unicorn with high education wanted this job. The employment lady told me nopony took the offer for months. "Oh hey, Crest!" Eclipse smiles at the unicorn while the earthpony gives him a well-hidden frown. "Hi," Piercing Hit answers the greeting with no enthusiasm. "This guy doesn't even know what a mare is," the unicorn introduced as Crest smirks, "Ditch him and let's go out! I know a batpony bar that's open this early in the morning." That's not true! I know basic anatomy. "A mare ees a laydee ponee," I show that I know at least something. "And you are a lazy pony, now shove off!" he doesn't even look at me as he waves me away. Oops, he's right! I've been standing here and not mopping for too long. The night shifts must be ending and the guards are returning to the barracks. On the positive side, the exhausted ponies barely give me a glance as I clean their dusty hoofprints off the floor. With the constant bustle of changing shifts my job is an endless task, but nopony has complained during the week I've been doing it. In the end, the night patrols arrive, the morning ones leave, and all three floors of the barracks are in a presentable shape. Now I can have a rest or wander around the city until late afternoon when I'm going to do all this again. My stomach rumbles. Perhaps I should leave the wandering for later. Alright, time to sleep! The more I sleep the closer I get to payday and the less hungry I'll be. "Huh?" I mumble to myself as I spot Eclipse waiting in front of the boiler room underground, "Hai?" As I mentioned before, nopony comes here, ever. "Uh, yeah. I wanted to ask what I owed you for the repair. You know, new materials and stuff." "Notink. Its mai job," I shrug, "Ai hed sum bits left, so Ai could doo eet." "Wait, what?" "Ai get twentee-faiv bits a week to doo wot is needed and get food. Nopony told mee more asaid from d moppink." "You have no resource budget? Wait, you get only twenty-five bits a week AND you have to pay for the supplies yourself? That doesn't sound right," she leans back, blinking. "Ai dont knou." "Nevermind," she shakes her head, "I've got something for you. The showers on the upper floor stopped working yesterday." "Ken eet wait teel next week? Ai haev no bits." "Actually, no. Most guards would be pretty pissed if they had to march three floors down to the basement over and over for two more days." "Okey," I mumble. I'll just have to think of something, "Ail look at it toomorrow." "Not so fast," she smiles, "For big repairs like these we always have to send out stupid amount of paperwork and wait for days until somepony fixes it. If you can do something about it, even make it somewhat work until we can get a real plumber to have a look at it, I think I can persuade others to at least pay for the expenses, if not something more for your time." "Ail trai," I bite my lip, "Aiv never dun anytink laik dis." "Alright, think of it like this - a bunch of dripping wet ponies walking from the basement showers up to the third floor and messing the floor up something fierce. How would you like that?" Wet floors already? That would be amazing. "Ai wouldnt have too poosh a trolly with full bukkit aneemore," I smile, finally having an answer. She facehoofs. "Just have a look at it, will you?" "Yes, mem." "Thanks," she walks off towards the staircase leading up. The last thing to do is check the big trash bags from each floor for something useful. Hey, somepony threw out a metal cup. It's scratched and there is no handle, but there are no holes or cracks. That's one good find.