//------------------------------// // Welcome to Filly (Z): First impressions // Story: Awkward Conversations And Other Stories // by No one is home //------------------------------// The red-light district of Fillydelphia was really something to see, Z-978 had to admit. It was garish, yet strangely beautiful combination of squalor and neon. Virtually every business was lit with brightly shining signage leaving little to anypony’s imagination just what particular vice that particular business engaged in. “You should really put on some work clothes Z,” Whatserface advised, “Technically it’s not illegal for changeling to walk the streets openly anymore but…” “You there!” a surly pony in a blue uniform bearing a badge bore down on them, “Are you bug’s looking looking for trouble?” “No sir,” Z wilted a little at the police ponies scrutiny. “Name and hive affiliation, bug,” the officer poked her in the chest with one hoof. “Z-978 of the Canterlot Free Hive,” Z nervously stepped back a step. “Oh,” the officer, a dull brown earth pony advanced another step menacingly, “So you think you can get away with giving me a fake name, huh?” “Z-978 IS my real name,” Z pleaded helplessly. “Well, we’ll just see about that,” the police-pony sneered, “Maybe you’ll feel more cooperative after you sat in a holding cell for a couple of days!” “Oh I don’t think you want to do THAT, officer,” a smooth, masculine voice drifted out of the shadows as a bright purple stallion with a cyan mane and tail, wearing a wide-brimmed white hat with a huge peacock feather and a leopard print cape stepped out of the shadows, “That cute little buggy is part of Queen Fast’s Free-Range Initiative. That means she’s an official envoy of the Canterlot Free Hive. Now what do you suppose is gonna happen when the new queen shows up to figure out why one of her emissaries is sitting in jail for the apparent crime of doing her job? How do you feel Velvet Hammer’s gonna feel about all that official attention from Canterlot? You must REALLY hate your job officer…” “Oh,” the police pony tripped over his own hooves in fear from the approaching stallion, “Mr. N… I’m sorry… didn’t realize she… uh… was with you…” “I’m not the one you should be apologizing to, am I?” the stallion replied with a wicked grin. “I’m s-sorry miss,” Z-978 was shocked at the fear radiating from the pony. “The lady has a name,” Whatserface said coldly, “Say it. Go on. Say. Her. Name.” “I’m sorry Miss Z-978,” the officer meeped, before suddenly fleeing down the street as fast as his hooves could carry him. “I’m sorry you had to see that, Miss Z,” the stallion, presumably Mr. N, said with a small bow, “It’s a nasty side to our mostly pleasant little city. You see, until recently it was against the law for any changeling to openly walk the streets of Fillydelphia in public. A few Royal Decrees haven’t changed the attitudes of pony prejudice. That’s the problem with Princesses… Queens too really… they get it in their head that they can make things happen just by saying it. Take your Queen Fast for instance…” “Queen Fast is doing the best she can to take care of us,” the smaller changeling jumped to her Queen’s defence, then realized she was interrupting, “I’m sorry sir, I didn’t mean to be rude.” “Don’t ever apologize for your loyalty,” Mr. N flashed a broad, winning smile, “It’s something we admire at the Filly Factory. And I mean no disrespect, I assure you. By all accounts, Queen Fast Change has the best interest of her little changelings at heart, and no pony could ever imply that she only has the best wishes. But there’s logistics to consider. Best wishes and love, sweet love may make a fine breakfast, but they don’t pay the rent. Take this Free-Range Initiative, you have heard it’s being scaled back considerably?” “What?” Z did a quick double-take, “No I hadn’t!” “Well, we’ve been on a train riding across Equetria,” Whatserface shrugged, “Not surprising you’d be a little out of the loop.” “It was a fine idea in theory,” Mr. N continued, “Send the brightest, friendliest, most independent changelings out to educate the pony world about the new, kinder, gentler, changeling hive. There were a few problems.” “Problems?” Z-978 shrank back. “Well the biggest was that with two notable exceptions,most drones leaving of the hive just didn’t stick,” Mr. N wet on, "There was also a couple of raids on Ponyville from the Idiot Queen.” “No! Is everypony okay?” Z asked with real shock and concern. “Well, the Pink Demon’s pet human is still missing from the hospital, but otherwise it’s okay,” Mr. N noted, “The funny thing is, it was a changeling and her pony that really turned the tide.” “Really?” Z-978 asked, wide-eyed. “For real,” Whatserface assured, “Same changeling stopped a diamond dog raid, pretty damn decisively. Seriously, you don’t get between a breeder guardian and her charge. Not if you want to stay alive.” “She's quite ‘the hero of Canterlot’, now,” Mr. N chuckled, “But my point is, only one drone from the Free-Range Initiative fulfilled it’s mission and opened actual diplomatic ties with an out-lying hive in need of a real queen. We’re truly excited to have you here, Z. I’m hoping when you report back, you have only have good things to say.” “I thought I was applying for a job?” Z asked in confusion. “Whatserface?” Mr. N gave his subordinate a look, but didn’t actually say, “Seriously?” “What? It was funny!” the changeling in question defended, “I did use the gag to teach her our history, so it was… that thing you like so much… educational?!”