//------------------------------// // episode 6 part 1: Social security // Story: Conversion Bureau: St George // by kryxel //------------------------------// Note: this color is the humanoid Doctor speaking, this one is Dr. Whooves, this is both of them simultaneously, and this one is Colgate. Terrence and Octavia sat at the table, looking at the human doctor and pony doctor sitting across from them. The four of them had met in the kitchen of the center, to discuss a matter of great importance: "Are you sure, you two know how to cook?" Octavia asked. "Of course I can!" the human Doc said, at exactly the same time as the pony Doc said, "Nope, can’t make a muffin to save my life!" Octavia frowned for a moment. "Well, can’t be as bad as that thing my sister told me about... Let me hear what you have!" The human Doctor smiled, as a rather familiar tune started playing, the sound coming from nowhere in particular. "Ditzy had given me an idea. I consulted with the Cakes, and they told me that if I had the right recipe, I can have the best muffins this side of SLC. Now, let’s get cooking!" The Doctor started singing, while putting his tie around his forehead. "I'll cook up a solution with the knowledge I've accrued, They say the recipe serves nine, but I'm just serving two! I've gathered the ingredients to make some Time Sorbet, There's hardly room for seconds, when the seconds vanish anyway! At this point, the pony with the hourglass cutiemark took over, as he slid a pan on the furnace. Watch as I work my Time Lord magic, wibbly wobbly and cinnamon, Watch as the matter turns into the Master, take a bite, jump right in!" Again, the Doctor took over, using the Sonic Screwdriver as a mike while mixing a bowl of batter with his other hand. "Crude stew, do you fear it, Terrence dude? Sometimes life is not a cupcake, served up on a silver spoon crack an egg and, don’t be late and, Shamble bibble, dobble dooble, bingle bongle, dingle dangle, yicky doo, yickity da, ping pong lipy, tapy too ta! Suddenly the speakers crackled to life, as Colgate joined in via the announcement system. Doctor, if you're hearing this it means you're in trouble and wrong Please don't bake anything; just accept it and go home. Without missing a single beat, the Doctor pointed his screwdriver at the speaker, turning down the volume to almost zero as Doctor Whooves picked up after Colgate. My cauldron is preheated and I've got you in my hand, Let's beat these yolks and serve these folks or make a rocking band! Watch as I work my Time Lord magic; custard and processed food; Celestia help us, the Doctor is cooking! I’m not ginger and very rude. I’m not ginger and very rude. ...." The Doctor stopped in the middle of a pirouette, and blinked, opened his mouth, and paused for a second before turning to Terrence. "Did I...?" he asked, arching an eyebrow. "Yeah. With background music and everything. Only thing missing was the confetti." Terrence said, barely restraining his laughter. "It is part of the magic of Equestria," Octavia said. "In Equestria, we call it Beethooven’s Musical Mayhem. Usually happens when a pony is practicing a musical instrument too hard.” She chuckled. ”You should have seen my friend Lyra. When she first got her cutiemark, all of Manehattan was dancing for weeks!" "Really? Well that sounds... annoying. Randomly bursting into song and dance... Must be some miracle that anything at all gets done, ever!" The human Doctor said as Dr. Whooves lifted the muffins out of the oven. "Thr dnnn," the brown stallion mumbled past the tray held in his mouth. "So, why do you want to butter us up?" Terrence asked. The Doctor tried to look surprised. "What? I’m not buttering you up! What makes you think so?" Terrence folded his fingers together, and fixed his eyes on the Doctor. "Doc... I know you. What is going on?" "Well... As my security advisor, how would you advise security if, say... the Mane Six were coming to this very bureau?" Doctor Tennant awkwardly smiled. "... all six? F@*%." ------------ 6/1 Social security ------------ Since First Contact, Equestria had been sending Diplomats and Ambassadors to the various nations of the earth. While most of these officials were considered to be of equal rank and importance, one group of six mares somehow got all the big gigs, such as public debates on international broadcasts and announcements of important developments in regard with the conversion of the earth. These six mares were collectively known as the Mane Six. Many rumors surrounded the Mane Six. Some said that they only got those gigs because their leader was somehow related to the Princesses of Equestria. Others claimed they were some sort of saints of virtue. Yet again others insisted that they were decorated heroes of Equestria. Whatever the truth, the Mane Six were big celebrities, and any public appearance of the six of them together was treated as only marginally less important than a visit from either Princess themselves. As such, the bureau had been buzzing with excitement ever since word got out about their impending arrival. While it was not unusual for any one , or sometimes a pair of them to visit a seemingly random Bureau, they never visited a bureau in full force before. One recently converted newfoal claimed they were going to announce some major improvement to the conversion process, while another aspirant convert said they were going to declare the complete closure of all bureaus on earth. Fact was, no-one and nopony knew what they were coming for. "The way I understand it, is that they will be arriving right before lunch. So, we have a million and one things to prepare, and mere hours to do it in. Terrence, do you need any recruits to help you bunker down security?” The human Doctor said. Ever since Doctor Whooves and miss Doo had left to deal with some kind of problem (he had muttered something about a Dalek newfoal), Doctor Tennant had been in charge of arranging for the arrival of their famous guests. So, at the moment he and Terrence were in his office, discussing the details of their plan de campagne. Terrence sighed. "Might not be a bad idea to get some extra firepower going. Anyhow! First, we’ll need a secure place for them to stay. We all know that there is an HLF camp across the valley, and they are not too pleased with us here... but we sort of have an ‘agreement.’" “Right, they stay out of our hair, and you don’t snipe their toes from their feet. Still, are you sure that will be enough of a deterrent to stop them from attacking?” “Honestly? No. Killing the Mane Six would mean a serious blow to the conversion program, especially if what I heard about their leader and Princess Celestia is true. The HLF knows this, and the moment they find out the Six are here... I’m gonna need a lot more guns.” He turned to face Victorious Shield, who had volunteered to help out the moment he had heard about their guests. “Think you can handle a gun?” Victorious thought about it for a moment. “Technically? Yes. My telekinesis is getting better every day, and I do think I can handle both levitating the gun and pulling the trigger. However, I don’t think I can be of much help here. The very idea of k-killing another living being...” The thought alone made him sick. Terrence kneeled down in front of the white Unicorn. “No-one will force you to do any such thing, ok? There are more than enough other ways you can help with our defenses, so don’t worry about that.” Victorious looked up, feeling a little better. “Ok.” "Ok. Now, as for safety I will have to ask miss Doo to leave her post by the front door and stay in what used to be customer service. The ambassadors can take the three empty rooms above the Conversion room," Terrence said. "Right. Anything else?" The Doctor asked. ------------ "No Rarity, we have everything packed. From your umbrella to those... bye-key-knees? " Rainbow Dash said as she waited by the door of the cabin she and Rarity had shared on the train to Utah. "Bikinis Rainbow dash, And are you absolutely sure? I was sure there was another box when we loaded up... I must be losing my mind!" "Rarity, Rainbow! We need to go! the shuttle will be here soon! " Twilight called down the train’s aisle. "Twilight darling, have you seen a box? I was sure I had another one." "Well, we got all of them. Even the one in the middle of the aisle, could that be the one you are talking about? Applejack is loading it up onto the trailer right now." Twilight said. "Oh, thank you dear... Come to think of it, didn’t the same thing happen back in Las Vegas? ...Must be the stress getting to me." ------------ As a matter of fact, the box in question had been behaving rather strangely, especially given how boxes would normally behave. In more practical terms, ever since they had received the box as part of a regular sending of mail from home, it had moved on its own on no less than thirty occasions (even though nopony was ever around to notice it do so). Still, the box had come with a message telling them not to open it and instead give it to the head of the Bureau as a surprise gift, so Pinkie had been guarding the box from curious eyes since. On the other hand, the behavior of the box would be easily explained on account of its contents. "Cutie mark crusader stowaways yay!" the three fillies said in hushed voices. "This has gotta be the best idea ever, Scoots! Write up a bunch of letters, have Featherweight send them every week, and then stow away with Sweetie's sister," Applebloom said, bumping the orange Pegasus on the shoulder. "Aw, it was nothing but common sense. We HAVE to come with our families, we HAVE to crusade for our marks, and Pinkie takes surprises very serious." "Of course she does. Everypony in Ponyville knows that. But why are we hiding in here?" Sweetie Belle asked. "Well, remember what Ruby said about this Doctor her parents would be visiting? About how adventure always seems to follow him? Well, what better way to get a cutiemark than to go on a world-saving adventure!" Scootaloo said, fluttering her little wings in excitement. "Does this mean ah’ll get covered in tree sap again? It took ages to get rid of that sticky stuff last time," Applebloom nervously asked. "Maybe we could ask him for a nice, clean adventure," Sweetie said. "Besides, Rarity would get mad if I get too dirty again...” "Oh, come on! If you don’t get even a little dirty, it isn’t an adventure, guys!" Scootaloo said in response to the white Unicorn. "I guess..." “Doesn’t sound too wrong...” "Right! So, all we gotta do right now is-" Scootaloo was interrupted by the box suddenly shifting. "Shh! I think they are putting us on the cart to the Bureau." ------------ "OHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSH," Soarin squee’d. "Rainbow Dash is coming? Awesome! I’ve not seen her since Cadence's wedding. I wonder if she is still doing that special training I told her about." Surprise laughed. "Yes, Dashie is coming. And you seem to have a little crush on her, is it not so?" "What? No! Yes! I mean no! I-" Soarin sputtered, blushing furiously. Surprise chuckled. "You sure? Because ever since you heard, you look like you are going to take off any moment..." “THAT MEANS NOTHING, AND YOU KNOW IT! I’m just- just stretching my wings!” “you have been ‘stretching your wings’ for three hours straight now, bud.” ------------ Meanwhile, just beyond the orbit of Neptune; ------------ The Dalek ship had traveled many lightyears in their desperate bid for retribution against the Doctor, for the near-endless chain of defeats their race had suffered at his hands. Their plan was simple: blow up the Earth, the favorite planet of the Doctor, which had the added bonus of greatly accelerating the extermination of the indigenous inferior races. In other words, the usual “Exterminate everything else” plan of the Daleks. “APPOROACHING ORBIT OF PLANET EARTH!” “GOOD. WE WILL EXTERMINATE THE DOCTOR!” “EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!” “Oh, please! No need to shout!” As one, five hundred thousand eyestalks turned around, focusing on one Dalek whose optical sensors had somehow turned red. “I mean, I’m right here.” “WHAT DO YOU MEAN!?” The discolored Dalek chuckled, as some of the more nearby Daleks started to back away ever so slightly. “I mean, I am Chaos. Destruction. Discord. And I’d like to ask your help in bringing some of all that back to Equestria.” “REQUEST DENIED! YOU ARE CLEARLY DEFECTIVE! COMMENCE SELF-TERMINATION IMMEDIATELY.” “Ugh... guess I’ll have to look for some other alien race to spread some chaos then. Anyhow, I hope you enjoy the gift I left for you, it is in that big, glowy sun-like thing. Did I mention I have kind of a grudge against suns? I’d say a big orange in the sky would do a much better job.” The strange Dalek suddenly grew a pair of long limbs from the spheres on its body, which then somehow folded it inside out in a way that caused it to completely disappear from existence. “WARNING! REACTOR CORES COMPROMISED!” “WEAPON SYSTEMS MALFUNCTIONING!” “CENTRAL SYSTEMS OFFLINE!” What happened remains unknown to this day. Still, the only thing found after the explosion tore apart the ship, was a single orange with a diameter of over a kilometer. /////////////////// Ray10k here. It has been a while, hasn’t it? Well, I hope you all enjoy this chapter, I had a ton of fun writing it. Also, don’t worry. The coloring in the song was a one-time gimmick, unless Kryxel gets mean. Again. (please don’t pull out the cheese again, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to... no, no, nonononono NOT THE CHEESE HAVE MERCY PLEASE!!!!) (kryxel here: to ray. dont worry. its all gouda. i am not one for writing lyrics.. as you can tell.. i was not expecting you to turn it into a duet though.