//------------------------------// // Mental Punching Bag // Story: Dark Corners of the Mind // by DontBeThatGuy //------------------------------// Rainbow Dash’s head snapped up from the couch, where she had been watching TV. She thought for sure she had heard someone land on her front porch, but didn’t see anyone. She sank down into the fluffy couch again, enjoying some of the cartoons that she had missed during her day at school. A few more minutes and the cartoon would be over, predictably with the coyote beating himself up while the quick roadrunner zoomed away. Nevertheless, it was endlessly entertaining. The front door swung open, smacking into the wall with as loud of a bang as dense cloud can make. “Hello, honey. How was work today?” Rainbow Dash’s mom said from the kitchen. “Fine! Just fine,” her dad said dismissively, before turning his attention to Dash. “And what do you think you’re doing?” “Um, watching TV?” Rainbow said, scooting further away from the towering, angry stallion. Her father wasted no time beginning the families after-school routine. “You good-for-nothing ingrate! Maybe if you weren’t so lazy, you’d make something of yourself. Look at you, watching TV when you could be practicing flying, or doing homework? You think I work myself everyday to provide for you and your oaf sister so you can squander your opportunities?” “N-no, sir. I-” “Well I don’t! Maybe you should think about that more often, before you waste your life!” “Yes, sir.” Rainbow slunk off the couch, and began running back to her room, when something caught her back and tossed her against the wall, painfully. She swore under hear breath. “What was that?” Her dad said, the room becoming gravely silent. “I, uh-” Rainbow’s eyes darted back and forth as she desperately grasped at a story to cover her blunder. “First you disrespect me by leaving before I’m done, then you swear at me? No one bucking swears in this house at all! You got that, you bucking piece of filth?” Each word punctuated by spittle and brain-jarring volume. Her father picked her up by her mane, lifting the young Rainbow Dash to eye height. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-” She started crying, fearing the inevitable. “And no spine, too.” Her father spun rapidly, kicking her in the gut, sending her spinning up against the wall. Rainbow collapsed against the floor clouds, gasping for air that eluded her tiny lungs. “Stand up,” her father growled. Rainbow complied, legs still wobbling. Finally, a small breath! Her vision cleared and she righted herself in time to see the next onslaught. She ducked, avoiding the hoof that skimmed her mane, but didn’t see the brief case that came cracking down on her back. Rainbow Dash yelped a cry of pain. “Dear!” Rainbow Dash’s mom called from the adjacent room, mercifully distracting the father enough to stop the outpouring of suffering. “Fine,” He said, looking down with disdain at the bruised filly. “Don’t disappoint me like this again.” - - - - - Rainbow’s head snapped back, she instantly cursed herself for her carelessness. While her main focus was speed and racing, she never shied from any competitive sport, especially one that was cardio intensive. Personally, boxing remained one of her favorite side-sports, just two ponies in a duel of hooves and endurance. Rainbow stepped to her right, preparing herself for the next flurry of hooves. She snapped out two quick jabs, temporarily blinding her opponent. Ducking down, she twisted her body, giving power to her cross, driving the air out of her opponent’s lungs. She finished the combo with another powerful cross to the head, which was knocked her opponent sideways. She stepped in for a follow-on cross, raising her hand, trying to squeeze every bit of power out of her posture that she could. Seeing the opening, the opposing dropped, jabbing and crossing the stomach, trying to drop the gloves of her opponent. Dash’s powerful cross skimmed through the air above her opponent. The boxer stepped in, giving Dash a savage uppercut, hook, followed by a powerful cross aimed for the mouthguard Dash. Dash shifted backwards with each blow, weakly snapping out a jab, striving to interrupt the pounding she was receiving. Ding! Match over. Rainbow fairly tumbled out of the ring, head still buzzing from the well thrown cross. Her opponent came out of the ring, pulling off her headgear, trying to air the sweat out of her yellow mane. “You ok, RD? I really got you with that last cross,” Applejack’s drawl was easily heard, despite the muffled sound originating from the mouth guard. Rainbow spat hers out. “Yeah, I’m fine. I asked for it. Looked like I knocked the wind out of you back there.” “Hoo boy, did you ever. Still can’t breathe quite right,” Applejack said, putting a gloved hoof over her stomach. “You say this stuff really helps you? I don’t quite see what fun you have in getting punched in the face over and over.” “It’s good aerobic training! Plus, it allows me to get my anger out on somepony else, if problems show up.” “Well, like I said before, if you ever need anything, let me know. And if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go shower than sleep for a week or two.” “Yeah, later!” Dash waved at her compatriot, as she left the gym. She still had some energy to work out. She trotted over to a heavy bag, trying to shut out memories. She could convince anypony and everypony—except herself—that this was just aerobic training. Every time she stepped in the ring, from the first punch she took to the end of the bout, all she could do was envision her father. The bag shuddered from the repeated blows. She focused her energy on maintaining form, her own body shaking with exertion and the impacts on the slowly swinging bag. She came up with a hook, where her father’s head should have been. She grunted a few more times, snapping a quick 1-2-1 combo, punishing her father’s eyesockets with heavy strikes. She finally let her forehooves come to rest on the ground again, as she began to tire rapidly. Her vibrant mane clouded her vision, hanging low over her eyes. She quickly swiped it back with a hoof, to where it stuck to the side of her head. She desperately needed some water. She walked over to the drinking fountain, talking a deep gulp of water, before splashing some on her already sweat-soaked mane. She removed the gloves and headgear, putting them up on the racks to dry out. Quickly checking her face for any cuts or bruises, she exited the gym. Outside, she stretched deeply, and shook off what sweat she could. She slowly and painfully extended her wings, trying to let them air out a bit. In a brief moment of forgetfulness, launched herself upwards towards her home, but came crashing back down. Dash rubbed her sore snout and walked back to town, rubbing her nose. Wow, that smarted. Hurt way worse than boxing ever did, at least not through the padded gloves and helmets. That particular pain felt familiar though, far too familiar. It brought back memories from home. The horrid flashbacks started to come back, just moments away from breaking through her fabricated sanity forcing her to relive every punch, every pain, sound, smell, thought, and sight; every cry for mercy that was never answered. No amount of athletic endeavor, albeit familiar and rewarding, could push those memories out of her head now. She had pushed them down for a long time, and they were coming back with a vengeance. Maybe if she focused on something happy, like going to the Gala… Ah, damn it. The act of trying to suppress them was bringing them back to the light of day. The thoughts, the images, the memories, they all came rushing back and thrashed about within her head, forcing her to stop, grit her teeth, and pray that she didn’t start crying again. Mission failure. Dash bolted. Tears streaming down her face, she tore through the center of town a multicolored wrecking ball, knocking over carts, ponies, and goods that stood in her path. A few vendors tore after her, screaming obscenities about their spilled vegetables and wares. Dash raced past them, their insults stinging more than she would have admitted to anypony. “Stupid mare! Go be worthless somewhere else!” “Only a fool would do such a stupid thing!” “Go home, you worthless piece of filth! Why don’t you ruin someone else’s career?” “Dash, what are you doing?” Dash glanced to her right, seeing Twilight running alongside her, with a concerned look on her face. “Go away Twilight, I don’t want to talk about it!” Dash put on a burst of speed, leaving the purple unicorn far behind. Dirt kicked up behind her as she left the paved paths of Ponyville central, obscuring her from view. She was losing it, she could feel herself slip. Too much was trying to come out at once, she needed help. And she knew exactly who to talk to. Angel almost had a heart attack as a sweaty, smelly, and dirty multicolored pony smashed the door open, and immediately began screaming. “Fluttershy!” Fluttershy jumped a few feet in the air in surprise, completely unprepared for her visitor. She had been trying to feed a pair of squirrels, but in her terror she had thrown the nuts high to ceiling, before being tackled by Rainbow Dash. “I didn’t do anything!” Rainbow screamed at her, face contorted by gritted teeth. Fluttershy looked up at the pony in confusion. Tear streaks cleared small paths of dust off of Rainbow’s Face, landing on the floor beside Fluttershy. “Pardon?” “I didn’t do a single, damn thing! I could have stopped it!” “Could have stopped what?” Rainbow paced back and forth, wiping her face with a dirty hoof, spreading dirt between the two but not actually cleaning anything. Fluttershy got to her hooves, and placed a wing around Rainbow Dash. “Dash, please tell me.” Dash collapsed into sobs. - - - - - Rainbow Dash got home from school, finding her father’s briefcase by the door. That was a good sign, it means he wasn’t overworked and going to come home cranky. She shrugged the backpack off, and placed it by the door. She shuffled in, expecting to hear the normal sounds of the day: Mom cooking, Dad watching the TV, her sister being quiet and studious in the back. Instead, it was silent. She slowly eased the door closed with her hind leg. Maybe Dad was sleeping. She moved through the house as quiet as possible, not wanting to wake her father. She found her mother sitting on the edge of her bed, looking downtrodden and on the edge of tears. “Mom, are you ok?” Her mom flashed a fake smile at Rainbow, trying in vain to reassure her. “Yes honey, I’m fine,” she wiped tears from the corners of her eyes. Rainbow Dash made the large jump (for a filly) up to the top of the bed. “Mom, you’re crying.” Rainbow lifted a hoof, brushing off a tear from her mother’s face. Her mom just hung her head, shaking with barely controlled tears. “I’m so sorry, Dashie. I’ve tried all I can to protect you and your sister from your father, but I haven’t been successful. I’ve been sitting here trying to think of how to leave your father, but I don’t have anywhere to go, or anything to do. I can’t support you, and I no judge in their right mind would give custody of the children to the parent without a job.” She wrapped up Rainbow Dash in a hug, her shoulders heaving. “It’s ok, Mom. I don’t blame you.” Dash hugged her usually stoic, tough-as-nails mom. Her mom pulled out of the embrace, and gave Dash a directive. “Go get your sister, I’m sending you both off to flight school, even though you are a few years too young.” Dash jumped off the bed, in search of her sister. She tiptoed through the house, finding her sister sitting cross-legged on a pillow, engrossed in fiction. “What are you doing?” Rainbow hissed, spotting the book she was reading. “You know Dad forbids fiction books! They’re trivial and a waste of time!” Her sister looked up from the book she was reading. “Don’t worry about it, I’ll be fine! Look, just a few more pages and I’ll be done with the chapter, then I’ll put the book away.” Rainbow looked nervously around, afraid of what might happen if her sister was caught. “As soon as you’re done, just come meet Mom and I in her bedroom,” Rainbow said, backing out the door, and scurrying down the hall with haste. She turned sharply, slamming her back against the doorframe, out of sight of the hallway. She closed her eyes, thanking Celestia that the worst had not happened. “What are you doing? Is that fiction?” Oh no. “Uh, yes sir, it i-” “You’re reading that rubbish? After I specifically forbade it?” Rainbow could hear the tears welling up in her sister’s eyes. “Yes sir, I didn’t think th-” “That’s right you didn’t, you never do! You brainless ponies just drive me crazy!” Smashing sounds came from the other room, as tables broke and desks flipped. Dash winced with every sickening ‘thunk’ noise as debris impacted her sister’s body. “I’m sorry, I didn’t-ow! Stop, Dad! Please!” “Stop what? Stop making sure you fillies grow up to be successful? Stop making sure you have some discipline in your life? Tell me, oh infinitely wiser one, what should I stop?” Their Dad was bellowing at the top of his lungs now, causing Rainbow Dash to quake in fear, despite the fact that the anger was not directed at her. She tried to move to help her sister, but she stood stock still, rooted to the ground. Dash swallowed, trying to will her legs to move into the hallway. The hoof remained stubbornly still, save for the terrified quaking of her legs. “Dad, augh!” The crashing continued and Rainbow stood stock still against the wall, crying for her sister. Finally the auditory barrage ceased, and Rainbow peeked into the hall, desperately praying that her father wouldn’t enter into the room she was in, and continue to exact specific brand of punishment. Her Dad walked into the hall, sending his signature scathing glare at those who looked on, but then disappeared down another door. Rainbow eased out from her hiding spot, peering into the ruined room. Glancing around the room, all of the books that had been in here had been scattered about. Furniture was broken, as were spirits. She was never going to read unless she had to, that’s for sure. No need to risk this. She spotted her sister in the middle of the mayhem, laying down in pain, surrounded by books and broken furniture. Guilt overrode her every thought as she saw her sister laying there. She had observed this entire thing, and had done- - - - - - “-nothing,” Rainbow Dash finished the story, tears streaming down her face. Fluttershy pulled Rainbow Dash closer, trying to comfort the mare. “Rainbow Dash, it wasn’t your fault.” “Like hell it wasn’t! I could have intervened, I could have done something!” “What could you have done?” “Anything!” The single word exploded out of Rainbow Dash laced with pain and anger, carving through the normally peaceful house with acrid sharpness. The house remained silent for the next few moments, the only sound being the short, panting breaths coming from Dash. “Dash, it wasn’t your fault. You were doing the only logical thing at the time. You were a filly, doing your best to survive a bad situation.” Rainbow Dash looked unconvinced, hooves clapped on her head, either trying to pull snakes out of her head, or trying to protect her head from an unknown attacker. Fluttershy couldn’t tell what it looked more like. “Rainbow, you can’t beat yourself up for stuff that you didn’t do.” “Exactly, I didn’t do anything!” Fluttershy shook her head. “That’s not what I meant. You can’t control what your father does, and neither can you go back in time and fix the problems that existed then.” “It’s not that easy. I can’t just flip a switch and move on,” Rainbow said, hanging her head. “Of course not, it is a process. And who knows, maybe you can process it enough to confront your father when they get here for the party in two days.” “Two days?” Rainbow had mercifully forgotten about that—until now. “Oh, no no no no no no no. I-I-I can’t do that,” Rainbow said, jumping to her feet, shying away from Fluttershy. “Too many memories, habits, problems. Too much in my head—can’t think straight. Anger! How do I control my anger?” The sudden onset of this extra stress left Dash stumbling for the correct words. “Rainbow, you’re one of the bravest ponies I know, if anypony can confront this big of a problem, it’d be you. And don’t worry, Pinkie, Applejack and I will be there to support you in any way we can. “Only if you guys are there the whole time,” Rainbow said after a long pause. “Mmhmm, we will be there.” Rainbow Dash didn’t look relieved, rather she looked unsure of that to do next. “Fluttershy?” “Yes?” “Can I stay here tonight? I don’t really feel like being alone tonight.” “Of course.”