//------------------------------// // Laurels, pt 3 // Story: Princess Pile Drinking Games // by GaPJaxie //------------------------------// “So you knew about this all along?” Twilight asked, as Pinkie Pie held the ice-pack to her forehead. The three of them had found a little table in the back of Sugarcube Corner, only a few paces away from the Single Cake. Pinkie Pie wanted to surprise Twilight with a wedding cake, but when she heard the news, she’d realized she had to improvise. It was a lot like a wedding cake, except instead of little figurines of Twilight and Thunderlane on top, it had a little figure of Twilight holding a book and eating from a tiny tub of Häagen-Dazs. “Hat hainhow—” Pinkie Pie shifted her stance, so she was holding the icepack with her hoof instead. “That Rainbow Dash was married? Yeah, totally! I didn’t get to do their wedding ceremony because I was too young but I got to bring cookies to the reception and her husband was super nice. His name is Shade Throw and he lives in Trottingham and writes scripts for plays that are super witty and all like ‘sick burn!’ But in person he’s actually super friendly! I like calling him Shade but he prefers Throw because Shade sounds all dark and menacing and that’s just not him.” Pinkie Pie inhaled. Twilight considered her situation. Rainbow took a slice of cake. “Anypony else want some of this? No? Okay cool.” She cut a second. “You said you were ‘too young’,” Twilight observed, speaking slowly. She lifted a hoof to her forehead, taking the ice pack from Pinkie with a small nod. “How long has Rainbow been married?” “Since I was sixteen,” Rainbow mouthed around a large chunk of cake, her muzzle and jaw splattered with icing. “So like, four years now?” “Okay.” Twilight worked her jaw as she mulled that over. “And, before I recoil in horror, he was also sixteen at the time, right?” “Ewww.” Rainbow scrunched up her muzzle, and after a brief pause, licked the frosting off it. “Yes. Don’t be gross, Twilight. I’m like six months older than him.” “And I’m assuming…” Twilight continued, still with her slow tones. “That from your age, this was an arranged marriage?” “Yeah, basically.” Rainbow shrugged, and took a bite out of the rest of her cake. “Like, we hung out for a day first and stuff so I could check him out. He seemed okay.” Twilight cleared her throat. Nodded again. “And… he lives in Trottingham now?” “Uh-huh. He wanted to write scripts and I wanted to be a weathermare. Odds of us ending up in the same place?” She made a smooth gesture with her hoof. “Pretty low.” Leaning down, she took another bite of cake, and chewed as she continued: “I fly over there like once a month so we can talk and bang and stuff.” A hot blush rose to Twilight’s cheeks, and she lifted a hoof to hide her face. Pinkie Pie giggled. “When she says ‘bang’,” Pinkie whispered, in conspiratorial tones. “She actually means they—” “I know what that means, Pinkie!” The blush in Twilight’s cheeks got hotter, but she forced it down and returned her hoof to the table. “Okay, um. I have like ten million questions right now. But let’s start with ‘Is this normal for pegasi?’” Rainbow wiggled a hoof. “It’s normal for Cloudsdale. That means most pegasi, but like, I know Fluttershy hates it. It’s part of why she moved away. Plus traditions change over time. Like, more ponies do it Thunderlane’s way these days. Wait until they’re older, all that cool stuff. He probably got his parents blessing first though. That’s still a big deal.” “Okay…” Twilight slowly nodded. “Second question. Why have I never heard of this before?” "I don't know, Twilight.” Rainbow added a firmness to her tone and a bit of a pointed stare. “You read all the time, you lived in the capital. Didn't you ever read anything about it?" “The romances I read were mostly about unicorn…” Twilight coughed. “Yeah, okay. But… you and Shade Throw…” She let out a breath. “I mean, I hate to ask this but… I mean. You only see eachother once a month. Are you even in love?” “Pfft.” Rainbow snorted. “No. But he’s a cool guy. You know. Legit.” “And you’re okay with this?” Twilight’s question elicited a blank look, and she pressed on. “I mean, you’re okay with being married to a pony you only see once a month, who lives in another city, who you admit you don’t love? Like…” She grappled with the air for a moment. “What if he slept with another mare?” “That depends, is she hot?” “What does that matter!?” Twilight shouted. Pinkie Pie’s ears folded back, and her smile faltered a few degrees. Quickly, Twilight moderated her tone. “Sorry. Sorry. I didn’t mean to shout. But Rainbow… seriously, why?” “I can’t have my husband sleeping with ugly mares, Twilight. That reflects on me.” Rainbow pointed both hooves at her chest. “Ponies will be all like, ‘Wow, what’s wrong with her that that’s an improvement?’ If he’s sleeping with another mare she better be smokin’.” “Okay, no.” Twilight removed the icepack from her head, gently setting it down on the table. “That’s not marriage. That’s a parody of what marriage is. Marriage is about love and closeness and emotional support and deep caring for another.” “Well…” Rainbow paused. She glanced at Pinkie, who shrugged. “That’s what unicorn marriage is about, sure. But, like, Pinkie Pie’s parents were picked to marry by a magic stone. Right, Pinkie?” “Uh-huh!” Pinkie Pie nodded. “I touched it once and it went BOOONG and then this other mare walked up and I was like ‘are you here waiting for your husband too?’ but I think she was confused and she might also have been a mime because she kept saying she was in an invisible closet. Then her parents came and said she’d done something bad and took her away and I never saw her again.” Twilight and Rainbow paused for several long moments. “Ooookay,” Rainbow drew out the word. “Um. We… should probably come back to that later. But the point is for earth ponies, marriage is about the family and the community. And for pegasi, marriage is about three things: kids, money, and status. So like…” She drew out a line in the air. “Think less ‘true love forever’ and more ‘business partners for life.’ I mean, Throw and I do care about each other? Totally do. But it’s like…” Rainbow swirled a hoof in the air, circling it a few times. “I dunno.” She shrugged. “My dad always said that love isn’t something you fall into, it’s something you grow into. Or you don’t. It’s like, if I loved somepony, I’d go out with him, have some fun, maybe go back to his place for the evening. Keep it up for a few months or years or however long we feel like. But I’m not going to add a room to my house for him. You need to keep these things in perspective.” “That’s horrible.” “Twilight, I’m getting a little irritated with you using that word to describe my…” Rainbow let out a sharp sigh, and tapped her forehead twice. “Okay, think of it this way. Pretend we were starting the conversation over and you were hearing this all for the first time.” She made a point of clearing her throat. “Twilight, there’s this stallion a few towns over who I go to see once a month. And he’s nice and we talk about stuff and one day I think we might get a house together and have some foals. Is that so bad?” “Oh, neat!” Pinkie Pie’s ears perked up. “You want to have foals?” “Eventually, yeah.” Rainbow Dash nodded. “Not, like, now? I’m way too young for that. But, I don’t know, eventually? They’re super cute and think you’re cool and you can make them do chores and stuff. That could be good.” “I don’t think you’ve thought through all of the implications of having foals, Rainbow.” Twilight rubbed her temples. “No, I have. I just really hate doing dishes.” “Okay.” Twilight lowered her hoof back to the table. “Okay, I concede that what you’re doing isn’t evil but it’s still messed up.” “Well, it’s how Cloudsdale does it.” Rainbow lifted off so she could defiantly cross her forehooves. “And last I checked, Ms. Dainty Unicorn Princess, that’s about a third of Equestria. So get used to it.” “Dassshie,” Pinkie Pie warned. “Don’t be mean. Twilight is having a hard time with this too.” Rainbow frowned a moment, but uncurled her forelegs, and landed next to Twilight. She scratched the back of her head. “Sorry. Um…” “No, it’s okay,” Twilight was quick to reply. “I just… you know.” “Yeah, I know.” There was another long silence, which Rainbow eventually broke by offering Twilight a hoof. “Still super awesome friends forever?” “Yeah,” Twilight smiled faintly, and tapped her hoof to Rainbow’s. “And uh… hey.” Rainbow looked up and away, not meeting Twilight’s eyes. “He’ll be here for the wedding. Or, not-wedding. I’ll make sure he shows up. You know. So all my friends can meet him. I’m not going to pull a Shining Armor about this thing.” “Okay? First? You totally Shining Armor’ed this thing.” Twilight’s hoof made a smooth motion across the table. “Second, that’s not a verb!” Twilight’s tone played at harsh, but Rainbow looked back, and the two exchanged brief smiles. Twilight laughed. “And, you know?” she added after a moment, “It’s okay. This has been embarrassing and stressful and apparently I have a lot to learn about pegasus culture, but nopony got hurt or anything. There wasn’t even any real harm done. I’ll just get the train this evening, tell Thunderlane it was a mistake, and hug things out with my parents.” “Yeah!” Pinkie Pie rushed over to squeeze Twilight’s shoulders. “That’s the spirit! You’re single and loving it and nothing’s gonna get you down!” “That’s right, Pinkie.” Twilight laughed, then took a breath and let it out. “So, can I get some of that cake? The bit with the little me on it. I want that little ice cream she has.” Twilight ended up having two slices—Pinkie Pie significantly more than two—and there was still enough Single Cake for everypony in Sugar Cube Corner. They were just finishing up when Spike ran into the building, shouting at the top of his lungs and waving a scroll. “Spike!” Twilight sat up. “What is it? Is everything okay? Does Princess Celestia need me to go on a magical friendship adventure?” “No! I mean. Maybe. Kind of?” He paused. “I guess, philosophically, you could view all of life as a magical friendship—” “Just read the message, Spike!” “Okay okay. Yeesh.” He unrolled the scroll, clearing his throat. “My dearest Twilight, yaada yadda. Watched you grow from a filly to a mare. Blah blah. So proud. Blah blah. Next step in your grand journey. Etc etc….” He hurriedly worked through the paper. “Get to the point already… aaaaand. Okay. Princess Celestia sends her love and also wants you to know that Princess Cadence’s train just left Canterlot. She heard the news and offered to help, and your parents accepted. She’ll be here tonight by eight and offers to officiate the ceremony. She also says that Cadence will be bringing you a half-dozen casks from the palace cellar as an early wedding gift.” Twilight took in a long breath, but then she held her hoof to her chest, and slowly let the breath out, extending her hoof as she went. “No,” she said, calmly. “No, that’s okay. That doesn’t change anything. Cadence will understand. And honestly, I could really use her advice right now. I kind of feel like freaking out, but, this will be good.” She licked her lips. “Why would Celestia be sending me wine casks?” “Right. Forgot to mention that,” Rainbow Dash took another bite of cake, mouthing around it. “Pegasus weddings are open parties. Like, there’s no invitations or anything. Ponies just show up?” she swallowed, gesturing down at Spike. “With a Princess getting married I’m pretty sure everypony in town will be there.” “Oh. Okay.” Twilight stared down at the table. After a moment, she managed to ask: “Anything else, Spike?” “Not for you, but there’s one for Rainbow Dash.” “Is it about my wedding?” Twilight’s wings scrunched tight against her body. “No, it’s about weather control,” Spike answered, and Twilight’s wings relaxed. “They’re moving Cloudsdale closer to Ponyville ahead of schedule so Thunderlane’s pegasus guests can make it, and Princess Celestia needs to make sure the pony weather control team can… Twilight?” “Twilight, breathe.”