I turn to Celestia. “Aye, hey know of an ancient evil by the name of Grogar?”
She freezes in place locking me in her hard gaze. “How did you learn that name?”
“Talked to a zebra and they told me that there was a guy named Grogar who used to bring humans to this world to work as his soldiers controlling them with false promises of returning home. She seemed pretty convinced that he brought me here for a purpose. I think he messed up pretty bad if he did.”
She arches an eyebrow at me. “How so? You seem to be a perfect soldier for him. Highly trained in combat, wearing armor and carrying weapons that are resistant to magic and worst of all, you would do anything to go home.”
“Not anything Celestia, not even close. Not to mention that if I ever see him and he is the one who brought me here I’m going to beat him into submission and drag him to you so that you can make sure that the spell to send me home is real. Not just gonna to let an enemy do some unknown magic on me. Seriously, look what happened the last time someone used magic on me, they almost killed me. Though I don’t know how much of a chance I stand against him…”
“None.”
I smile at her grim tone as we board the flying chariot. “So this could have gone better. My stomach feels weird, at least it’s full, but weird.”
She groans. “Why did you eat it if your body can’t digest it?”
“I’m an Altered, I can digest almost anything if I have to. There are masters who get in week long fights and survive by taking bites out of trees. Though that is only if they are traveling alone. Among martial artists, it is dishonorable to harm those two or more levels below you when they are not criminals or threatening you. In such a fight it is the disciples sacred duty to spend as much time as possible scavenging for food for their master. However often the two disciples will fight to cut off the enemy master’s supplies. I was involved in such an undertaking long ago when traveling with Elder. I ended up getting my face kicked in and having all the food I had gathered for my master thrown off a cliff.”
She looks at me in surprise. “The other disciple didn’t take it for their master?”
“It was bad enough that they took the food, but to steal it and deliver it to their master as though they had earned it would be the height of shame. Still his actions were enough that the enemy retired from the fight and declared it Elder’s victory. I had offered peace while we serve our masters and he attacked me in reply. Shameful and dishonorable, even if I am a warrior when I acted in the hope of peace I became a non-combatant.”
“Your culture is strange to me. Killing is normal, you eat meat and suicide is acceptable, yet stealing and attacking someone who is peaceful is wrong. All this trouble caused today was a result of your pure honesty. I can’t decide whether your kind is evil or good.”
I raise an eyebrow at her. “Evil or good? In my world, only fools deal in absolutes. You see for every so called villain there's four sides to the story. The hero’s, the villain's, the victim's, and the impartial truth as seen only by the gods. Let me tell you a story. Recently in my world, there was a string of robberies. The robberies were all strange in that they were incredibly well planned and executed to the point where only an Altered could have done it. I rose to protect the Citizens who needed me and began hunting down the thief.
“I discovered that all the victims had something in common, all had pledged their support for a newly formed clan, yet none of them had made good on the promises. Looking into it I discovered that they had all thought that since the gang appeared to lack the cohesion despite their strength they had thought that becoming a clan was impossible and had simply sought to use false promises to get rid of the dangerous gang members.
“Naturally I went to the new clan and told them what I had discovered about them. They became livid, accusing each other of being thieves and a fight broke out. From what I had learned beforehand and what I was told while I was there such fights were common among them. I stopped the fight and made them listen to me. After all, they were a small clan operating out of my clan’s territory and I could cut their status with a word.
“I was surprised to discover that they were very annoyed at me for stopping the fight, they wanted to know how I was going to get the truth without it. Now that things had calmed down I had an interesting problem. To me, the robbers are criminals to be hunted down and locked up. To the victims if the robber is from this clan it is simply reaping what you sow. To the clan if the robber is among them they are filth that will be kicked from the clan. Yet, when I looked around their base I found no sign of anything that had been stolen and obvious signs of poverty.
“I interviewed them and, in the end, found the one in the clan who was doing it. He had taken everything and given it to a charity that helps the Citizens in the area. In the end, I had to arrest all the shopkeepers, the robber and the ones in the charity who knew they were receiving stolen goods. The victim's perspective now had three sides. That of the shopkeepers who were robbed, that of the clan who was used, and that of the charity who received a mark against their name because of their actions.
“The villains perspective now also had three sides. That of the clan member’s who was taking what was owed and giving it to those who needed it, that of the shopkeepers who made false promises because they were afraid, and that of the charity workers who just wanted to help people.
“But the truly complicated perspective was mine. I was the hero that found all the criminals and did my duty to uphold the law. I was the villain who threw 20 people in jail, most of whom had families who would be hard pressed to support themselves without the missing members and destroyed the good name of a wonderful charity while I was at it. Tell me Celestia, who was evil? Who was good? What was justice or criminal activity? And what of me? What would you have done when faced with this?”
She stares at me calmly and for the first time since the library has a smile. “You are far too young to have faced such decisions. You were the hero and good, the robber was a criminal and evil and the charity members were the real victims. I would have locked away the thief and repaid the shopkeepers, only to levy them with a fine equal to what they promised and delivered the remaining balance to the new clan. Not that this makes your actions bad, you are simply too young to be holding such responsibilities. If anything you were yet another victim, forced to deal with the weight of all these wrongs. I hope that your time in this world can undo the damage your previous one has inflicted.”
I glare at her in annoyance. “So I’m damaged because I think differently than you?”
“You're a child who has been forced into a life of bloodshed and violence while shouldering the weight of your subjects. Back there in the village, you showed how damaged you are. Everyone afraid of you, all those friends you might have lost. Yet you remain unaffected by it.”
I cut her off with a snarl. “I don need ta be worried bout makin’ friends. I will do my duty and protect those weaker’n me while I’m here, I’ll maintain my honor while followin’ da rules and laws of dis land, but I’ll not make friends or attachments that’ll make it hard ta go home. What’s wrong with living a life dedicated to protectin’ others despite the costs? Is your ideal person the one who just runs when somethin’ is wrong even if they have the power ta protect others? We have a philosophy back home. With great power comes great responsibility.”
She matches my smoldering gaze with one of her own. Were it not for my anger fueling my doa I would be unable to meet her potent stare. “No, but protecting does not require endless bloodshed and killing. True power is not the ability to slay your opponents, but the mercy to let them live.”
“Since when have I ever said it did. I rarely was forced to kill and only ever did when I had to choose between da lives of my opponents or the life of myself or those I’m protecting or I when I lost control of-. Just because I’m not so weak that I would rather let my subjects all be slaughtered than stain my hands in blood does not make me damaged.”
“You consider not being able to end a life to be a weakness, think about how wrong that is.”
“You consider not being willing to stain your soul in defense of others even at the cost of their lives to be a strength. Maybe you’re the damaged one.”
By now Celestia has risen into the air as she glares at me and I’m standing on the now shaking chariot glaring back. Suddenly her gaze softens. “You know that killing is wrong right?”
I feel my anger still boiling but I’m not shouting anymore. My voice is still angry, but not as bad. “Of course, it is a horrible thing to end another's life. But it is far worse to allow them to kill others simply because you can’t bring yourself to do it. That is the purpose of the nobles. We protect the Citizens not just from being injured or slain by criminals, but also from the stains that result from protecting yourself from them.”
She nods and lands back inside the chariot. Now she looks almost sad. “I still say this is too much of a burden for one as young as you to bear. Perhaps I can trust you a little.”
“Enough to let me have my gear back? Just for training. I don’t want to get back to my world or have something come up here and be rusty.” I look at her pleadingly the anger completely faded. It’s hard for me to hold on to my emotions.
She looks conflicted than her face brightens in a smile. “Indeed, as long as you wouldn’t mind a demonstration. I’m curious how you wield such weapons without magic. That chain, in particular, would be difficult for even a unicorn to fight with without training.”
I smile happily as we begin the descent to the castle. The guards flying the chariot look relieved that this ordeal is almost over. They had been pretty scared during the argument. I start feeling guilty about losing my temper like that. “Hey, Celestia? Sorry about screaming at you like that. I’ve been doing my best to keep myself under control but all this is all kinda… well, it all sucks. I’ve been thinking lately and I can’t help but wonder how long I’m going to be living here. By the time I can go home will I even want to? I’ve already begun setting down some roots here. I made a couple friends, even if I did just get into a shouting match with one. What happens when I stop seeing the horses of my world when I look at ponies? When I start properly seeing them as people? More than that I know that if I didn’t have Shady waiting for me back home that I wanted to get back to I wouldn’t mind staying, not that I can survive in this world very easily.”
She looks surprised by my sudden stream of consciousness that was more fitting of Johnny than me. “I apologize for getting worked up myself. Actually, I was also annoyed, despite my best efforts to the contrary, racism remains an issue. How much would my ponies freak out if they knew that our greatest allies the griffons had to eat meat as part of their daily diet? I assume that is what you were referring to about finding survival here difficult? I assure you that fish is an easy and simple solution.” She looks away and I see a hint of shame. “I may have over-reacted, I am unused to someone who won’t back down in front of me.”
I chuckle and give her a quick hug. “Heh, perhaps our conflicting philosophies will help each other. Assuming we can discuss them without shouting from now on.”
She breaks into a laugh of her own at that as we get off the chariot. She leads me down to the kitchen and has them prepare a griffin meal. I sit down to a filling and tasty meal accompanied by Celestia who devours a slice of cake that could pass as a whole cake back home. Then again with the price of sugar the way it is, all the cakes I’ve seen here are oversized to an extreme.
It puts a strange thought in my head and I ask without thinking. “Celly, do you think that all this sugar so easily available is the reason ponies are so nice?”
She stares at me with the fork frozen halfway to her mouth. She swallows and with a disbelieving stare says a single word. “Celly?”
“Er, right sorry Princess Celestia. I’ve kinda got a habit of giving nicknames to people. So what do you think?” Now that the thought crossed my mind I have to seek out the answer. Is all the sugar the reason ponies are always nice and friendly? Wait, they aren't always friendly, back in Ponyville, I’m pretty sure the princess grabbed me before they could run me out of town. All because I was honest.
“If you're going to be so informal as to use a nickname on accident, at least say Tia. I am not a musical instrument.”
“Okay, I meant about the sugar thing, though.”
She stares at me again as she considers the question she hadn’t noticed before. “Kat, is sugar rare in your world?”
“It’s pricey. Sugar beets is a crop that has to widespread profits to be viable as a cash crop and requires too much processing to make it a sustenance crop. Maple on the other hoof… hand! I will not go native, dang it! Er… maple is somewhat hard to grow in my area and it takes a lot to produce enough to be worth export, so it’s even more expensive. It is more easily available, though, as it is a viable cash crop. Sugar cane has both of those problems and I’ve never even seen it in person. Honey however is the most commonly used sweetener in my area, but ever since bees evolved to use ki…” I shudder and trail off, I was only three years old during the plague of Kibees. Masters from around the world had to band together to stop them and get control of them. Nowadays beekeeping is considered a hobby worthy of nobles as it is dangerous and highly profitable.
She watches my face darken at the thought as I finish off my food as her face gets that look she has whenever we talk about my world. “Were it not for Shady, would you still be obsessed with returning?”
I start to speak than close my mouth as I think about it. This world is beautiful, full of happiness and the problems of my world are horrible abstract concepts to the people that live here. Yet I can’t help but feel I don’t belong. “Yes, even if everypony accepts me then I’m still out of place here. A warrior in a peaceful land, a noble who is unneeded. This world has no place for a creature like me.”
“Not everything is always perfect here, Cat. There have been many times in recent years that I wished I had warriors to protect everypony. Not to mention that there are places outside of Equestria that I wish I had warriors to dispatch to help. When the cloud demons attacked the Iron Mountains, I deployed a squad of my best pegasi. The griffons sent them back and told them there was no place for them on the battlefield. I could not leave and aid them myself, My duties kept me chained here. Tell me, how would you have acted if you had been here and I had asked for help?”
“First of all, start at the root of the problem. Obviously, your military is lacking if other nations are treating your soldiers as a hindrance. So I would start by getting all the guards and recruits together and put them through some basics to discover who has the innate abilities for quick training. Then I would take the elites and put them through the kind of training that leaves them with two options, get stronger or die. As they are training under my regimen I would go to the Iron mountains and study the cloud demons. When I have their weaknesses and strengths figured out I would return and prepare the troops for the fight.
“When I think they're ready we return and assist the griffons, if they tell us to go home I’ll laugh and tell em the battlefield is my home. I know this is a bit long term, but I myself cannot effectively fight airborne opponents. I would suggest letting me take a look at your military. I can figure out how to push it to the next level and if you want me to, turn your guards into soldiers.”
“Excellent, I assume you're capable of sparring without hurting your opponent seriously?”
“Of course, as long as they are not in my kill zone. The area between weak enough I can defeat them without hurting them and being strong enough to weather my serious attacks. Don’t worry, I can tell when they are in that range and will stop the fight.”
“Wonderful, let's go to the vault to collect your things. I’m interested in the material they are created from.”
“Tartarite, I don’t know much about it, no one does except the masters who create it. It is made by the Forge of Tartarus covenant. Anyone who knows the secrets of it is sworn to never leave their fortress and die before they betray the secret.”
“Why is there such secrecy involved? If they are willing to sell the metal, why is the method of creation such a secret?”
I laugh.”It is the way of my people, the sins were taken down a peg, but still they remain. As long as the Elements of Harmony exist, so too will the Sins of Discord. Here perfection is not a dream, but in my world balance is always maintained. If you have good luck than you will receive bad luck. For every saint, there is a sinner. Honesty, deception, loyalty, hubris, generosity, greed, kindness, wrath, laughter, envy, magic and corruption.”
“So they are greedy?”
I shake my head, she really isn’t getting it. “They are proud of their achievement, greedy of their profits, loyal to their covenant and much more. Duality is the way of things in my world. Nothing is ever black or white.”
“So what of you? You seem a hero, a truly good stallion. What is your duality?”
I look at her with fear and sadness. I had hoped never to answer this, or talk about him. “I have a dark side, I have bathed myself in the blood of my people. I’m glad I barely need sleep, for when I dream my darkest hours are always replayed. Sometimes I lose control of my…” I trail off trying to find the words and force them past the lump in my throat. I manage one more word that makes Celestia stare at me alarmed. “Demon.”