A few weeks had passed since Vinyl’s birthday. Since then, Claret had made an effort to be a bit more active around the house and go on regular walks with Vinyl, even occasionally going out for a cup of tea at the local café.
Today, however, was the time of the month when Claret needed to go to the local hospital for her treatments. With Vinyl by her side, they were walking to the hospital, wearing their coats and scarves to keep warm from the winter season.
With the hospital in view Claret stopped, looking at the front entrance.
“Mom, you all right?” Vinyl asked.
“Fine dear, just… I’m not going in.”
“What?” Vinyl stammered, “but, you need to go in, to get better.”
“Vinyl, let’s go for a walk in the park.”
“Are we going to the hospital afterwards?”
Claret looked down at Vinyl. She didn’t exactly know what to say, but she sighed.
“Let’s, just… Have a nice time in the park, okay?”
“Um, All right.”
Walking away from the hospital, they went away from town and into the park. Unlike during Spring and Summer, the park was nearly empty during Winter, with only a few ponies going for a run or a casual walk. The benches and open areas remained mostly empty. The chirping and chitters of the animals were missing, Vinyl noted. All of them lay dormant in their warrens and dens.
They walked around for a few minutes, before Claret needed a break and sat on a nearby bench.
Vinyl sat next to her. Throughout the walk, she had had a craving for a cigarette, but didn’t want to show her mother her new habit. Sighing, she gave in and withdrew her pack of cigarettes from her jacket pocket.
Claret immediately noticed and her eyes widened.
“Vinyl, how long have you been on those?”
“Since I turned 18.” Vinyl lit the cigarette with her horn and placed it in her mouth.
“You know those will affect your health? Right?”
“…Yeah.” Vinyl blew out some smoke, away from her mother.
Claret paused; she was concerned over Vinyl’s decision but knew she couldn’t do much to change her habits at this point. She then thought back to her youth when she was Vinyl’s age. She gave up the smoking almost twenty years ago, but some habits don’t go away entirely.
“Can I have one?” Claret said timidly.
“Wait,”—Vinyl nearly dropped her cigarette out of her mouth—“seriously?”
“Before I had you, I used to smoke frequently, even before the age of 18. I had to quit when I found I was pregnant. Wasn’t easy. Even when you were born I decided to stay off of them, I didn’t want to be a bad influence.”
“Well, I think you did all right.” Vinyl withdrew a cigarette from the pack, but held it away from her mother. “You sure about this?”
“What? Concerned I am going to get cancer?” She smirked.
Vinyl raised an eyebrow. “That’s not funny.”
Claret chuckled.
“Sometimes, a laugh is all you need to get through hard times dear.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.” Vinyl passed the cigarette to her mother.
Taking hold of it, Claret placed it in her lips and received a light from Vinyl’s horn. The taste of the nicotine wasn’t as good as she remembered and she had a few coughs, but it brought back old memories of her youth.
“You all right?”
“Yes.” Claret pulled in a bit more. “They taste a bit different than they used to.”
Claret looked down at Vinyl as she looked up at her. Her mother still kept that same smile, all the while enjoying her first cigarette in a long while.
They remained there on the bench, two grown mares smoking their cigarettes. Claret was the first to finish, putting out the rest of it on the bench and putting it in a trash can to the side.
“I need to tell you something,” she said, breaking the silence.
“What is it?” Vinyl put out her cigarette as well, focusing all of her attention on her mother.
“When you were a teenager, you kept saying you could take care of yourself, right?”
“Um, yeah.”
“Well, you are an adult now, you have much to learn still, but I think you can take care of yourself now.” She looked at Vinyl. “Though, I am happy you have decided to stick with me, and I am happy to still be here with you.”
“Mom, please don’t say things like that.”
“Vinyl, I think we both know for a fact that I am…” She paused. “Dying.”
“Mom… Please, I don’t want to talk about this.”
“You saw from my results these last few months, my condition is not improving,”
“What are you trying to tell me then?”
Claret bit her lip.
“I’m going off the treatments.”
“Wait, what!?” Vinyl yelled, but she composed herself. “Mom, those treatments are what's keeping you alive!”
Claret sighed, got up from the bench, and began taking off her thick jacket and scarf.
“What are you doing?” Vinyl said, remaining there on the bench.
Claret stood there, her thinned forelegs were exposed out in the cold weather. As she shivered, she took off her hat, revealing her bald head, nothing more than her regular fur coat on top, and even then, her coat had begun to thin out as well.
“Look at me,” she said, standing there in nothing but her short sleeved top and skirt.
Vinyl winced, but looked at her mother. She was thin, fragile, even broken; she wasn’t the mare she once was. She was… pathetic.
“Mom…”
“This wasn’t the cancer’s doing Vinyl, this is due to my treatments. I-I was hoping—” She teared up, falling onto the ground, placing her hooves over her eyes, crying.
“I was hoping I could get better, but”—She tripped up between her sentences—“I was damned from the start!” she yelled, crying out her frustration.
Vinyl sat there frozen, witnessing her mother break down in front of her. She couldn’t just let her sit there alone. Getting up she grabbed her mother’s jacket and placed it over her shoulders, then wrapped herself around her.
“I’m sorry, Mom.”
“No, I’m sorry.” She sniffled, feeling her daughter’s embrace. “I don’t regret my decision, I’m so happy to be with you here still, but… I’m done Vinyl.”
“Are you… giving up?”
Claret shook her head.
“No, I want to live on my own terms.” She smiled. “And that is to die happily.”
Vinyl teared up now, beginning to cry on her mother’s shoulder. She never wanted to admit it, but this was going to come sooner or later.
“And to do that…?” Vinyl asked.
“I need to get off the treatments, and medications.” She wiped away her tears, smiling down at Vinyl. “I’m sorry to say I lied to you again, but… I’ve already been off the magic suppressants for a week.”
Vinyl’s eyes widened at her mother admitting she hadn’t taken her medications. She pushed back and looked up at her mother. “R-really?”
Claret nodded.
“I understand.” Vinyl sniffled. “I love you, Mom.”
“I love you too.” She rubbed the back of Vinyl’s mane, then pulled her in. “Let’s go home, I want to play the piano one last time.”
The two sat there on the ground by themselves. The clouds throughout the day had been covering the sun and the air had become colder. Soon, small flurries of snowflakes began to fall.
The snowfall outside was picking up. Fortunately, Vinyl and Claret made it home. As they took their jackets and scarves off, Claret took in a breath of fresh air.
“Didn’t know it would pick up so much today,” Vinyl said, patting her mane off.
“We seem to have developed a bad habit of not checking the weather,” Claret said with a chuckle, walking over to the kitchen. “Would you mind lighting a fire, Vinyl?”
“Sure.” Vinyl went over to the fireplace and opened it up. There were already some dry logs inside. Vinyl flipped the switch for the top vent, then her horn glowed and she lit a small fire in the center of the logs.
“I figured you would know how to do that since you’ve been lighting cigarettes. I hope you don’t abuse it.”
“Do I seem like the mare that would?” Vinyl raised an eyebrow. Claret walked back into the living room with a glass of water.
“Of course not; you’re my daughter.”
Vinyl smiled and looked over at the piano. “So… were you serious about playing?”
“Yes, I just need a glass of water.” Claret took down the glass. “Goddesses know how tired I am going to be when I’m done playing.”
“Let me get something before you start.” Vinyl then quickly went upstairs.
Claret nodded. She then set her glass down and went over to the piano. Sitting down on the bench, she lifted the cover atop the keys back and a layer of dust flew all over. She caught a bit and coughed several times.
Vinyl came back down the stairs and into the living room with a portable cassette recorder, a pair of studio headphones, and a cassette tape.
“What’s all of this for?” Claret asked.
“I was hoping I could record whatever you’re playing.”
“Hmm, all right. I can’t promise my performance will be perfect, though.”
“That’s fine.” Vinyl lifted the large cover to the piano and placed a microphone on the edge between the open section of the piano and her mother. She then draped the microphone cable down the piano and across the floor to a small table where she plugged the recorder into the wall.
“How long do I have to record?”
“45 minutes, each side,” Vinyl said, popping the tape into the recorder. “I’ll keep time and give you a signal when I need to switch sides.”
“Okay.”
“Let’s do a quick sound check.” Vinyl pressed the record button on the player. “Just say something and maybe tap a few keys.”
“Hi Vinyl,” Claret said into the microphone. She then took a deep breath. “Give me a moment; it’s been a while.” She closed her eyes and focused all of her energy, then at the tip of her horn was a red aura. She then successfully tapped a few keys on the piano with her magic. “How was that?”
Vinyl smiled, not only at seeing her mother use her magic, but also seeing her play the piano again. She then refocused, pressing stop on the recorder.
“One sec.” She plugged her studio headphones into the recorder and listened to the test sample. Her mother’s voice came in clearly and the piano didn’t sound harsh. “I think we are ready to go. Let me just rewind this and we can start.”
Claret used her magic again to grab the glass of water from the living room table and brought it to hers lips. “It’s so nice to do that again.” She said, taking a sip and placing the glass down. “Ready.”
Vinyl nodded and pressed the record button on the recorder again, giving a signal by waving her hoof.
“Are we recording?” She tilted her head, a bit confused by what Vinyl was trying to say.
“Yeah, why do you think I was waving my hoof?” Vinyl said across the room.
“Sorry, Vinyl.” Claret chuckled. “Hopefully whoever is listening to this doesn’t mind our bickering.”
“Well, we’re rolling,” Vinyl grumbled.
“Oh! Right.”
Claret’s horn glowed with a red aura and she took control of the keys. She began playing a simple and familiar song. She didn’t want to play any of her newly written songs, but instead stuck with pieces that had inspired her to become the talented pianist she was.
Vinyl watched her mother throughout the session. She remained silent, listening to her mother's variations of classical music. She smiled, reminded of when things were more simple, when the only worry was the occasional bully or a bad school grade.
As Claret approached a lull between movements in a famous gryphon piece, Vinyl realized that she had no idea how long it had been since she'd checked the tape. Her gaze shot downward to the cassette recorder to see the first side of the cassette was almost full. She signaled her mother to stop after her song and she took a small break while Vinyl switched the tape to side B.
Claret played for another forty-five minutes until she filled up the other side as well. Vinyl signaled her to stop again and pressed the eject button, cradling the now full tape in her hooves.
“All right, it’s full,” Vinyl said.
“Has it already been that long?” Claret asked.
“Yeah, do you want me to grab another tape? I have a few more laying around.”
“Please,” Claret said with enthusiasm that surprised even her. “In fact, bring down several.” She smiled. “It feels so good to play again after so long. I think I want to play throughout the rest of the afternoon.”
She played longer than expected, only taking short breaks when Vinyl had to either flip the cassette or insert a new one for some more recordings. Claret kept playing throughout the afternoon to the early evening. She began to feel weaker overtime, but she kept pushing herself to play more.
Soon, she had to stop after her favorite song. She finished the piece with finesse, placing the cover back over the piano keys.
“I think I’m done for the night Vinyl, thank you for being here with me.”
Vinyl nodded, organizing the stack of tapes containing her mothers recordings. “I’ll be sure to take care of these.”
Claret smiled and got up from the piano bench. “I think I am going to bed early. That playing has taken a bit out of me.” She placed a hoof over her head.
“Are you going to be okay?” Vinyl asked.
“I think so. My head just… I guess now that the thrill’s gone, it’s all catching up to me. Tomorrow, I think I am going to call Rarity about that tea party and see if she is free. Maybe we can bring over one of the cassettes to listen to and see how they turned out.”
“That sounds great. I’m going to clean up here and head upstairs too. Good night, Mom.”
“Good night, Vinyl,” Claret said, going up the stairs by herself, looking visibly exhausted.
Vinyl began cleaning up the cables and mess she left around the living room. She took her equipment and the tapes back up to her bedroom, organizing them neatly on a shelf.
She looked out her window to see the snow was still falling. She yawned and decided it was time to head to bed as well.
Vinyl opened up her eyes and looked over at her bedside clock, it was only 8AM. Getting up out of bed, she opened her blinds. It was bright outside, the snowfall was over and the sun was now reflecting off of the snow. Ponies were outside going about their day while younger colts and fillies were playing out in it.
She walked out of her room and down the stairs, only to find her mother was not anywhere downstairs; she must have still been sleeping.
Turning on the coffee pot in the kitchen, Vinyl walked over to the front door and grabbed the newspaper. Placing it on the coffee table, she figured she would wake up her mother before she would miss more of the day.
Walking back up the stairs, Vinyl went up to her mom’s bedroom door and knocked.
“Mom? You awake?”
No response, she knocked again.
“Mom?”
Silence.
Vinyl shrugged and opened up the bedroom door to find her mother, still in bed, her eyes closed.
“Morning sleepyhead,” Vinyl said, standing at the other end of her mother’s bed.
Nothing.
Vinyl stood there, expecting something; this wasn’t the first time she woke up her mom early. This time, however, something was different. She walked over to the side of the bed and placed a hoof on her mom’s shoulder, lightly shaking her.
“C’mon, stop messing with me.”
Her mother didn’t respond.
Vinyl immediately froze. “M-mom?”
Is she…?
Vinyl placed her head over her mother’s chest; there was nothing but silence.
Vinyl froze, and looked at her mother. She laid there, her eyes still closed, her head slumped over.
“Okay, this isn’t funny, Mom. Just… wake up. Please? Before you scare me.”
Claret lay there, perfectly still, perfectly silent.
Vinyl placed her hoof over her mouth, and took a few steps back.
This can’t be happening! Oh Goddesses, please, not now!
Tears came as she looked at her mother from across the bed. Her heart was beating, her stomach felt like it was twisting itself into knots. She didn’t know what to say. She could only look at her mother.
Please, just another day.
She kept her eyes on her mother. She didn’t have to feel pain anymore, Vinyl tried to tell herself. She wouldn’t be held down by her cancer or its treatments. She was finally at peace.
Her mother had finally passed.
“M-m-m—” Vinyl stumbled on her words, she could barely hold herself up and continued to cry. Then, in one small burst, she screamed.
“Mom!”