“I can’t believe I didn’t notice it,” Twilight moaned as she lay on Rarity’s couch. “There were things there that didn’t belong to me, but I was so excited that I was truly home again, I just didn’t pay attention.”
“Accidents happen,” Kai said as he sipped some tea. “It’s not like we trashed the place or anything. It was an honest mistake, and it’s not like anyone else told us the library was taken either…”
Rarity flinched slightly, it was true that they had forgotten that little fact, but like Twilight, they were just so excited to have her home again.
“Look, if this pony has a problem, I’ll talk with them,” Kai smiled and shrugged his shoulders. “Customer service is my speciality after all.”
“That raises an interesting topic,” Rarity spoke up. “What did you do as a living darling?”
“Oh, I worked in a store that sold video games,” Kai replied as he set his teacup down. “So I was dealing with all kinds of customers all day.”
“Video games? Oh, you mean those things that Sweetie Belle and one of her little friends like to play?” Rarity sipped her tea as Kai’s eyes widened and he fell quiet for a moment.
“You… Equestria has… video games?” he said slowly and looked at Twilight. The alicorn shrugged, she’d been far too absorbed in her research to bother with such things.
“I don’t know much about them myself, but you could ask Sweetie Belle when she gets back,” Rarity nodded. “Now, how shall I arrange the bed? Will you two… be sharing~?” The unicorn’s smile was getting wider as Twilight started a coughing fit into her teacup. Kai reached over and rubbed her back until she stopped.
“Thanks,” Twilight gasped and shot Rarity an offending glare. The unicorn didn’t seem fazed however and just waited for an answer.
“I don’t think we’re that far along yet,” Kai answered for her. “I’m still getting used to the idea really.”
“‘Getting used to’?” Rarity frowned ever-so-slightly and looked at Twilight.
“In his world, ponies aren’t sentient,” the alicorn explained, recalling what she’d read on the internet. “And almost every part of his world outlaws… relations with animals. And don’t give me that look Rarity, I don’t blame him in the slightest. I knew from the start that this wouldn’t go smoothly, in fact, I’m glad we’re taking our time. You know that romance was never my area of expertise.”
“Wow, you are so awesome,” Kai grinned and kissed her forehead, causing Twilight to explode with a furious blush. “Thanks for understanding Twi.”
“Oh sweet Celestia, I ship this so hard,” Rarity mumbled, but Twi and Kai hadn’t heard her. “W-Well then. I’ll find some sheets and blankets for the lounge. But remember…” She smiled slyly and winked. “The guest bed is big enough for two~”
Twilight blushed harder and glared at her. “RARITY!”
The unicorn simply giggled, teasing Twilight was just far too much fun.
“Oohh, so you’ve discovered it’s fun to tease Twilight huh?” Kai smirked and the alicorn just huffed and folded her legs. “Okay, okay, we’ll stop… for now.”
“You guys suck,” she muttered.
“Isn’t that what your supposed to do?” Pinkie said as she popped up from behind the couch.
“GAH!” Kai fell off the couch, startled by the mare’s sudden and surprisingly silent appearance. “What the hell…”
“And what do you mean I’m supposed to—” Twilight started as Pinkie whispered into her ear. Twilight’s entire face turned crimson before she just sat there, her mouth opening and closing a few times.
“Pinkie dear, you are utterly incorrigible,” Rarity sighed. “Now you’ve gone and broken her.”
“Naaah! I got this,” Pinkie giggled and leaned in close to Twilight. “Oh nooo, the Cutie Mark Crusaders are gonna divide by zero.”
“WHAT!?” Twilight screamed as she jumped to her hooves. “You can’t do that it’s not poss…” She blinked and looked around, before her gaze settled on Pinkie.
“Ohhh, I am pranking you so hard for that!”
Biting her lips to poke some innocent innuendo at that comment as well, Pinkie just shrugged and smiled. “Sure, if you think you can outprank me, then go for it. In fact. I double dare you!”
“Oh for pony’s sake,” Rarity sighed. “Kai dear, could you come and help me make the beds? I require the help of somepony civilised.”
“Whaaaat, I’m totes civilised,” Pinkie whined.
“Say that when you can have breakfast without frosting darling,” Rarity smirked as Pinkie frowned in mock annoyance.
“Cupcakes are part of a normal, healthy diet,” she defended herself. “Remind me who it was that cleaned us out of ice-cream when you stuffed up a dress.”
“You promised you wouldn't’t tell!” Rarity hissed.
“Oh-kay,” Kai turned around and headed upstairs. “I’m going this way now.”
“We’re not finished with this,” Rarity said and walked after him.
“Were… you guys fighting?” Twilight asked. “Will it cause a problem if Kai and I stay here?”
“Huh?” Pinkie tilted her head and giggled. “Nah, don’t worry Twipie. We’re just messing around. I love Raribear and she loves me. Besides, I totally ate more ice-cream than her. Pinke always wins an ice-cream race.”
Twilight wasn’t going to ask. Nope. Not at all.
“I still can’t believe that you and Rarity are together,” Twilight said as she lay across the couch. “I missed out on so much…”
“Yup, that’s one. Cranky and Matilda getting married was another. But Cloudchaser and that Changeling? Nopony saw that one coming, especially the Changeling!” Pinkie giggled and snorted before rolling onto her back.
Again. Don’t ask Twilight… just, don’t.
“But it’s fine TwiTwi,” Pinkie rolled back over onto her belly. “So you missed a few memories. It’s no biggie. And there’s always time to make more.” She got up and moved over to her. “We never stopped being your friends silly. Never will okay?”
“Thanks Pinkie,” Twilight said quietly. Even after all this time, Pinkie knew how to make her smile. “So… tell me about Cloudchaser.”
“Well…”
“I must say, having hands like that must be quite the advantage in some situations,” Rarity said as she watched him tuck in the bed.
“I dunno, I guess?” Kai shrugged. “Having magic would be pretty cool. Being able to move stuff your your mind. I could be a Jedi!”
“Is that the title of human mages?” Rarity asked as she put the pillows onto the bed.
“Something like that,” Kai smirked. “The Avatar is much stronger. Able to control all the Elements, he or she would bring balance to the world.”
“That sounds intriguing,” Rarity gasped.
“It’s also fake, cause they were just works of fiction,” Kai laughed. “Though I had you going there huh?”
“Ah, you scoundrel!” Rarity whapped him with a pillow. “You’re as bad as Pinkie Pie.”
“And now you know what you're dealing with if Twilight decides to prank you, cause I’ll help her~”
“Oh dear,” Rarity sighed, a little embarrassed she’d bought into his stories so easily. “Well, get those blankets there, and we’ll get you settled in on the couch… oh, but one thing darling?”
“Mm?” Kai grunted as he hefted the thick quilt.
“This door doesn’t lock, should you feel like sneaking in for some nighttime fun~”
“Gah!” Kai stumbled and tripped, blushing heavily. Rarity just giggled as she trotted away. Seems the human was as much fun to tease as Twilight.
As Pinkie put the finishing touches on dinner, the door swung open as a young mare dragged herself inside, inching forward like a fabulous caterpillar.
“Sweetie Belle…” Rarity sighed and facehooved. “Can’t you maintain some level of decorum in front of our guests?”
“Guests?” Sweetie raised one tired eye and looked in her sister’s direction. “Oh, hi Princess Twilight, hey Kai… sup?”
“Not you apparently,” Kai deadpanned as he sipped his tea. What? It was good tea.
“Urgh, Mrs. Lyra and Miss Octavia had me practicing for-ever!” she groaned. “I never want to sing again. That was torture of the highest caliber. Worst. Day. Ever!”
“Somepony’s been teaching her well,” Twilight said with her own deadpan snark as she looked at Rarity. “Like looking in a mirror.”
“Oh shush!” Rarity pouted, her face scrunching adorably. “Sweetie, stop being such a drama queen—”
“Raribears?” Pinkie called from the kitchen. “Have you seen our black pot? You know, the one that matches the kettle?”
Both Sweetie and Rarity let out matching dramatic sighs.
“I like this house,” Kai smirked. “Oh, Miss Rarity?”
“Please, just Rarity will be fine dear.”
“Okay, Just Rarity. I have an idea I want to run by you.”
“Ignoring that terrible joke,” the unicorn sighed, though Pinkie and Sweetie giggled. “What is it?”
“Well, I was thinking about what to do around here. I’m not used to just sitting around…” No, playing Final Fantasy A Realm Reborn for a few thousand hours didn’t count. “So do you know any places that might offer some work? I could at least help pay for food and utilities.”
“While I wasn’t planning on charging you a thing,” Rarity said. “I know the dread of having nothing to do. While I cannot think of anywhere off the top of my head, I can certainly assist you in looking.”
“Ohh! The weather team needs some help!” Pinkie said.
“He’s not a Pegasus,” Rarity countered.
“Ohh yeeahh,” Pinkie was standing next to them, tapping her chin.
“Pinkie? Love?” Rarity pointed at the kitchen. “Unless we’re having smoked salmon, I don’t believe that black stuff is supposed to be coming from there.”
“AAHH!” the pink mare raced off to try and salvage her dinner.
“Never a dull moment in the land of pretty little ponies huh?” Kai remarked in his deadpan tone. Twilight nodded as the pair sipped their tea together.
“What in Equestria have I invited into my home?” Rarity mock-whined.
“The ultimate combination of snark and indifference?” Kai offered. “Well, guess you’re stuck with us until we find a more permanent arrangement.”
“Sorry,” Twilight said flatly.
“Don’t be,” Rarity smirked and looked at the kitchen. “You’re living in the same house as Pinkie Pie.”
Twilight’s eyes did a nice impression of dinner plates. “Oh stars…”
“So!” Sweetie plopped herself down between them. "You guys are staying here now?”
“Indeed they are,” Rarity nodded. “At least until they work out a solution on their own.” She turned to Twilight and Kai and gave them a kind smile. “Not that I don’t mind you being here, but if Twilight is still the same mare, she’s already thinking about the problem from three different angles.”
“Five, but who’s counting?” Twilight shrugged as Pinkie came out with a stack of plates and a pot on her back.
“Okay, so I burned the casserole a little… but it’s still good, just… extra crunchy,” she giggled. Once they sat down to eat, Kai had no idea what she was talking about, the food was pretty damned awesome. If this was burned and not very good, he had a small aneurysm trying to imagine what ‘good’ would taste like.
They decided that bed was in order not long after. Sweetie fell asleep in her food and Twilight offered to share a bed to save somepony carrying her home. Kai soon lay in the dark living room, his tall frame a little too long for the couch but… oh well.
“So, enjoying ourselves are we?”
Kai flinched at the sudden voice as Discord appeared in the air next to the couch. “You…”
“Me!” Discord said, throwing confetti in the air. “I just had to visit Equestria’s other favourite misfit, but those mares are a little noisy, so I waited til you were all asleep.”
“That’s… kinda creepy, but whatever.” Kai sat up, figuring he wasn’t getting any sleep now. “So, what can I do for you?”
“Ah, more like, what can I do for you,” Discord smiled. “Like, sending you home for instance. It'd be quite easy really. ‘Poof’ and it’s done. No biggie.”
Kai paused, this guy had shown up in his world. In the form of a weird hobo, but still…
“I dunno, it’s not so bad here,” he eventually said. “I mean, it’s certainly a lot more peaceful. And I can actually get along with these ponies…”
“Aww, he has friends, that’s sooo cute~” Discord cooed and rubbed his head. “Still, you don’t belong here do you? You belong with all the other little humans.”
“Well, that’s not for you to decide is it?” Kai answered with a frown.
“I sent you here, I can send you away,” Discord said with a low growl. “You think you honestly used the Element of Magic? It was my magic that enabled you to come to Equestria and save Twilight—”
“So why then?” Kai cut him off. “Why didn’t you just take the Element and come back yourself? Coulda been the hero instead of me. Not that I care about that. I just wanted to help Twilight. Heroes are for JRPG’s and kids books.”
Discord remained silent.
“Or is it that you couldn’t?” Kai asked. Discord frowned as he snapped his fingers, Twilight’s Element twirling on his extended claw.
“Of course I could,” he snapped. “It’s just…”
“So then why?” Kai asked. “Why bring me here at all? It’s not like I accomplished anything—”
“Because of you, Twilight came back to Ponyville!” Discord snapped and then literally zipped his mouth shut.
“So that was it?” Kai said and frowned. “Just a means to an end? To get Twilight all cozy with her friends again?”
“Friendship… isn’t my thing,” Discord said after unzipping his mouth. “I can appreciate it, I can accept it and feel it… but I don’t understand it.” He sat on the table and his expression softened. “Her friends missed her, Fluttershy included. I don’t like seeing her sad and I had to. For an entire year. I couldn’t convince the princess to return, but because of you, Celestia got her to. And you got Twilight to open up again in the first place.”
“A guy with no friends helps the Princess of Friendship open up? That is some seriously backwards logic.”
“I know right!” Discord clapped. “That’s why it’s so damned great. Why, I’d swear you’re a chaos magician in the making if you… well, if you could cast magic.”
“So what’s this about sending me home then?” Kai asked. “Why barge in here in the middle of the night and start all this friggen drama?”
“I don’t know, maybe I wanted to see how you did it. How someone like you - no offense - could make friends so easily when I couldn’t. Maybe it was all an act? That you’d ditch Equestria the second you got bored.” Discord sighed and lay back on a pink cloud he conjured. “Sorry I yelled.”
“Yeah,” Kai rubbed his head. He was no good at this sort of thing. “Look, even if I wanted to, Twilight promised me first and I’ll let her try. If and if she succeeds, then, well I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. For now, might as well enjoy my pastel-hued holiday.”
“Fine, fine…” Discord waved a paw and snapped his talons again, but nothing happened. “Well, I’ll leave you be for now. Come by Fluttershy’s house sometime. We’ll have tea and sandwiches.”
“So… you and Fluttershy, you a thing or what?” Kai suddenly asked and Discord fumbled around for a moment.
“W-What! No! She’s just a friend!” he blushed and teleported off. Kai chuckled and lay back down.
“Whatever you say,” he mused and drifted off to sleep.
“S-She’s back?” Trixie stared at the pegasus pony that was delivering her mail. “You’re certain?”
“Uhuh, I think she’s staying with Rarity and Pinkie at the moment,” Ditzy replied as Trixie levitated the letters she held. “As well as her new friend. I can’t remember his name though.”
“Interesting,” the unicorn mused. “Oh, and thanks for keeping the library clean for me. Trixie hopes it wasn’t too much trouble.”
“Nah, the extra bits came in handy,” Ditzy smiled. “Well I need to keep going. Later Trixie!”
“Yes, goodbye Ditzy…” Trixie gave a small gave as the mare flew off. So, Princess Twilight Sparkle was back in town. “How very, very interesting~”
Twilight yawned as she stumbled down the stairs. “Ergh, coffee first, cognitive thought later…” She headed towards the kitchen when she heard a sound. Oh yeah, Kai was on the couch down here.
She walked over to it and giggled. He’d wrapped the blankets around himself during the night and was now imitating a human-burrito. She stared at his sleeping face and found herself leaning closer to it…
A loud knock at the door caused her to freeze, cheeks blushing as Kai groaned and sat up suddenly, headbutting the alicorn and sending her tumbling from the couch.
“Ahhh, goddamn owwww!” he hissed, putting his hand to his forehead. “What the fu… Twilight?” he looked over at the tangled pile of fur and feathers and blinked. “What are you doing?”
“I have no idea…” she groaned back. The knocks came louder as Twilight rolled onto her hooves and stood up. Under-caffeinated and now sporting a sharp headache…
Whoever was at that door was going to be showing up in the obituaries.
Twilight grasped the door handle and turned, before it slammed open and she found another solid object colliding with her face as a pony stormed inside.
“Twilight Sparkle! Trixie knows you’re in here! Trixie knows all!” the mare declared. She blinked and looked around, she was here...right?
“Trixie…” a muffled voice caught her ears. “You have. Two seconds. Then I kill you.”
“Yeep!” Trixie leapt back and saw that she’s been standing on Twilight. “Ah, Trixie thinks you make a good impression of a rug—”
That was all she could say before Twilight’s horn flashed and Trixie disappeared in a flash of light.
“Uh… where’d you send her?” Kai asked as he sat up.
“Dunno, dun care,” Twilight mumbled as she stumbled into the kitchen to find coffee and painkillers. “Friggen loud ass mare, bashing a door in my face…”
“Okay… don’t talk to Twilight until she has coffee… good to know,” Kai nodded to himself. He hoped that other mare was at least alive, it’d suck if Twilight just killed her over a door…
“Twilight Sparkle!!!” The door swung open as a very much drenched Trixie stood there, a frog perched between her ears. “Y-You dare? You dare teleport the Great and Powerful Trixie into a LAKE!?”
*pop*
Aaaaaand she was gone again.
“Seriously Twilight?” Kai raised an eyebrow as the mare sat down, a fresh cup of coffee in her telekinetic grip.
“What?” Twilight opened one eye as Kai took her coffee. “Wha? Nuuuuu~ Kaaaai, give it!”
“Not until you apologise to that poor mare. As much as she reminds me of Wile E Coyote right about now.”
“Ergghhh! Fiiiine,” Twilight sighed as Kai handed her back her coffee. She snared it and took a healthy sip, humming happily. “Ahhh~’
“TWILIGHT SPAAAARKLE!!” The door was still open as the now Wet and Covered in Hay Trixie stumbled inside, looking righteously pissed.
“Trixie? Wha?” The now-caffeinated Twilight looked at the mare’s appearance and gasped. “What happened to you?”
“I...you…” Trixie’s eye twitched dangerously before she screamed to the heavens. “GAAAAAH!”
“What is all that racket?” Rarity came downstairs and when she saw Trixie…
“WHAHAAA!” She snared the unicorn in her magic and started dragging her off. “You will not be coming into my store looking like Applejack after a rainstorm!” Rarity huffed. “Come now. I shall prepare a hot shower this instant.”
“Crazy! You’re. All. CRAZY!!” Trixie screamed as she was dragged off.
“Preaching to the choir,” Kai muttered as he sipped his own coffee that Twilight had brought in. “I’m surprised half this town isn’t heavily medicated…”
“Don’t be silly,” Pinkie said from right next to him. Kai yelped as he spilled scalding coffee in his lap. “The last doctor that tried now thinks she’s a doggie.”
There was an ear-piercing scream from the bathroom.
“Ohh, so that’s where I left Gummy~” Pinkie giggled as she pronked into the kitchen.
“Is there a reset button?” Kai asked as he dabbed at his lap with a towel. “I want a do over on the morning.” It took a little while longer, but eventually things settled down to a level the human could at least call comfortable.
Kai, Twilight and Rarity sat on one couch as Trixie and Pinkie sat on the other, though Trixie insisted that Pinkie had to sit at least two pony lengths away at all times.
“So, allow Trixie to understand this,’ the blue unicorn sighed. “Nopony… remembered that Trixie lives in the library now? And that you even slept in Trixie’s bed!?”
“I’m really very sorry,” Twilight bowed her head. “If I had known…”
Trixie sighed and waved a hoof. “It is fine… Trixie guesses she could at least claim she was successful in getting royalty into her bed~”
“Trixie!” Twilight blushed as everyone shared a laugh, even Kai. The alicorn turned and pointed a hoof at him. “And you stop picturing it!”
“Too late~” Kai teased. he wasn’t… well, not until Twilight mentioned it…
Damn. Now he was.
“So, what are you doing back here anyway?” Trixie asked as she sipped her herbal tea. “Trixie thought you went back to Canterlot.”
“I did… but, a lot happened recently,” Twilight said and explained what had happened. Working on her new project, teleporting to another dimension and meeting Kai…
“Quite the adventure you’ve had,” Trixie nodded. “Not as big as some of Trixie’s, but you’re getting close.”
“So, I have a question of my own,’ Twilight said. “How did you of all ponies become a librarian?” She saw Trixie’s indignant look and waved a hoof. “I don’t mean it like that. It's just, it’s a very quiet and slow job. I always expected you to be selling out shows in Las Pegasus or Neigh York.”
“While Trixie agrees that she is capable of such greatness,” the unicorn blushed lightly under the praise. “Trixie finds that telling stories is also quite fun. Trixie uses her magic to bring the books to life, so to speak. The foals like it well enough and Trixie still travels around to perform as well.”
“Huh, I never thought to use Illusion magic like that,” Twilight hummed thoughtfully. “That’s really quite something Trixie.”
“Trixie accepts your praise,” the mare puffed out her chest proudly.
“Now all you need is some peacock feathers to go with that preening,” Kai chuckled. Trixie got to her hooves and with a small application of magic, a magnificent set of peacock feathers sprung out just above her tail.
“Hah! Those dull birds wish they were as Outstanding and Fabulous as Trixie!” she declared.
“Okay, that was impressive,” Kai clapped his hands as Trixie bowed. “Still, sorry about barging into your home like that… though you did return that favour this morning.”
“Trixie would very much like to forget that morning please,” the mare shuddered. “Morning Twilight is a terrifying Twilight.”
“Amen,” Kai nodded and the two shared a brofist/hoof.
“Oh sweet Celestia, they’re bonding,” Twilight giggled, pretending to look afraid.
“Human Kai is proving to be most entertaining, perhaps you could come to the library sometime? Tell Trixie stories from your Human World?”
“I guess I could do that, though my memory kinda sucks,” Kai nodded. “Well, if Twilight get’s a portal working, I could always bring some books from my world…” He stopped when he saw Twilight giving him a weird look. “What?”
“You-You mean, you’d… come back?” Twilight asked.
“Well, yeah,” Kai replied. “I was thinking about it last night, hence why I’m a little tired today. But you managed to come back here right? And I was able to come here as well. So, who says you can’t just create a portal I could come through at any time?”
“Could… I do that?” Twilight summoned a scroll and a quill, followed by a small mountain of books. It wasn’t long before the mare sequestered herself in a corner of the room, researching away.
“Aaaand we’ve lost her,” Kai sighed.
“Hmhmhm, so you are not busy then?” Trixie chuckled. “Excellent, then Trixie shall show you around Ponyville. Be honoured you such a Beautiful and Magnificent Guide.”
“Oh thank you, Trixie and Her Titles that always Change,” Kai bowed his head. Trixie just snorted in amusement as Pinkie bounced over to them.
“Let’s stop by Sugarcube Corner for breakfast! I hafta got to work anyway.” She looked over at Rarity and beamed. “You wanna come Raribear… again~”
“PINKAMENA!” Rarity blushed up to the tips of her ears and swatted the earth pony’s hindquarters with a ruler. “As much as I would love to join you for breakfast and nothing more. I have some orders I have fallen behind on. Now, shoo before I punish you.”
“My new safeword is Cupcakes~” Pinkie sing-songed as she bounced from the room, Rarity yelling something profane in response.
“That never happened,” Kai said, choosing to purge that from his memory.
“What never happened?” Trixie agreed.
“Exactly,” Kai nodded and followed the perverted pink pony. This day was already off to a flying start now, wasn’t it?