Sunset Shimmer drifted. Her head felt like a vast cosmic sea as images of ponies, tests, and cheesy horror movie monsters drifted through her head. Somewhere on the edge of the universe great waves of warmth drifted against the edge of her being, and something made a sound like a sleeping god just out of the reaches of time.
And then there was a sharp, prolonged, oscillating electronic bleating which rent the walls of her reality into a thousand, thousand little pieces.
She woke with a start.
“Crap-”
“Huwuh-?”
Limbs bumbled under the covers.
“Ow-sorry-I-”
“Mrawahsunset-?”
Sunset slapped the OFF button on the alarm.
“No, it’s fi-”
And then Sunset stopped. Because everything wasn’t fine.
There was someone else in her bed.
And they were both naked.
Sunset turned and stared back at Twilight, who stared back into her eyes. The two sat there for a moment, and then Twilight’s eyes drifted downward and off into space.
No… that’s not off into space.
Twilight was staring right at her naked breasts.
… What… what do I do? What do I say? Thanks? Had a good time? Ohgodpleasestopstaringatmethanks-
Memories suddenly flashed through her head. Voices. Mumbling. Grabbing. Moaning. Hands. Breath. Lips.
Tongues.
Sunset turned blood red and quietly pulled the sheets over herself, her entire body suddenly very warm and sensitive. Twilight shook herself, for a second before her eyes bugged out and she grabbed the sheets over herself turning red far faster than Sunset had.
So the two sat, turned away from each other. Sunset couldn’t help but feel the silence radiating off of Twilight like an angry Tesla Coil of “My-God-What-Have-I-Done.”
...
“So, uh,” Sunset said, “wanna take the shower first?”
“... Yeah, yeah, that sounds… uh-hehe-” swallow “-good.”
~*~*~*~
Why did I do that?
Sunset groaned as she sat down at her small kitchen table.
Why did I do that?
Sunset ran her hands through her tangled, mussed hair, trying to recall the night before. Twilight had been over. Brought beer. Shared. She had been off. Had-
Oh sun, she said she loved me.
She’d said she’d been in love with Sunset. Been in love with her since Sunset had saved her at the Friendship Games. Then suddenly her hands had been on Sunset. Her lips on her lips.
This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening.
Everything past that point boiled into a haze of panic and lust. Flashes of it popped up starkly as Sunset went over the whole mess, again and again, trying to make sense of it. The rush as Twilight’s fingers dug into her hair. The raw confusion, not knowing what to do. The sound Twilight made when she-
Stop it.
Sunset was breathing hard.
Stop it. Focus.
Sunset remembered something that the podunk pink princess Celestia had found had taught her. She raised an arm level with her chest, drawing it in as she inhaled. She held the breath and the pose for a moment, and then released both. She did this again a few more times. Her body felt too loose, but her head wasn’t spinning anymore. She finally breathed one last time on her own, and opened her eyes.
Okay. Okay. Now, what in Tartarus went wrong here?
Sunset began laying the facts out in front of her, one by one.
Twilight had confessed feelings of… of… of infatuation to Sunset.
Twilight had pressed herself onto Sunset.
Sunset… Sunset had went along with it.
Barking Tartarus, that’s not useful. What else?
So, again. Twilight had been drunk, or close to it. That’s right. She had been drinking more than Sunset had. Sunset had found that weird. It was weird that Twilight had been drinking at all.
She was probably just trying to keep herself from having to think about hanging with you.
Sunset inhaled sharply, and clamped down on that thought, strangling it.
She was drinking. Something was wrong.
What was wrong?
So, Twilight was drinking. She’d been acting jittery too. Been real jittery when she showed Sunset the beer. That kept with the theory the drinking was about something else.
Sunset felt another stab of self loathing, and snarled, keeping it down.
Twilight had come over that night for a private movie night. She had brought… that’s right, she’d brought some romcom with her. Sunset had laughed it off as out of character and popped in some super-hero movie instead. That’s right. The entire time they were watching it Twilight had been on edge. She’d grabbed Sunset before the movie finished and-
Oh horsefeathers, she had planned this from the start.
Twilight had grabbed her. Talking. Then she was kissing her. On top of her. Babbling to let her show Sunset how she felt, almost begging-
She thinks she’s in love with me.
Sunset moaned into her hands.
No wonder she was going nuts. She actually thinks she horse-feathering in love with me!
And you took advantage of her.
A shard of ice crawled right down Sunset’s heart.
No, no. That’s not true. That’s not…
A wave of fear washed over Sunset. Her pupils shrank.
She was in it bad. Chasing after some dream. It’s not true. I… I should have seen it coming. I had no idea. I should have seen it! Tartarus above me, was I blind?! I was drunk. Confused. Too much - which is why I should have stopped it before it even happened! It was coming a mile away! I need to stop her! Take her aside! Then why didn’t I? I had to have seen this coming, I had to have, I should have I, I - I - I-
Sunset let out a roar, grabbed a plate, and smashed it. She stared at the shattered plate, shaking.
So much for keeping my temper under control, jeez.
Sunset started laughing, and then collapsed against the fridge, sliding onto the floor. She pulled her loose t-shirt over her face, and began making a sound somewhere between a death rattle and a sob.
Just let it out Sunset.
Her body shuddered.
Just let it out.
The shaking slowed. Her breathing slowed, the last one came out as a sigh. She dropped her arms and looked across the kitchen to the shattered plate, and gave a wry smile.
Okay. Okay. So, now that you got that out of your system, time to do damage control.
She got up and set about cleaning the pieces of broken plate up.
Best Twilight doesn’t see this.
~*~*~*~
“Here you go.” Sunset said, setting the eggs and coffee in front of Twilight.
Twilight didn’t react.
“Hey, you there?”
Twilight suddenly jerked.
“What? What? Oh. Ohohohehehe. Um. Sorry.” She looked down at the food like the entire concept of an appetite was completely alien to her. “Thanks.” She grabbed her fork and began shoveling the food into her face with the desperation of someone trying to board a door against an Applewood movie monster.
Sunset leaned against the fridge and gave another wry smile.
Great. She has no idea what to do with herself after that.
Sunset sighed and shook her head.
Best get it over with. Clean break, and we can move past this mess.
“Hey, Twilight?”
The purple girl looked up, eyes wide behind her glasses.
“About last night-”
“I’m sorry!”
Sunset blinked.
“I’m just - hey - look, I’m sorry. Things got a little - hehe - ah, a little heated. Oh, I mean, yeah - anyway, yeah, I-”
“Twilight, look, it’s okay.”
“It is?” She froze in place, eyes alight with emotion. Trepidation, and… hope.
Oh horseapples.
Sunset sighed, gathering herself.
“Listen, I should be the one apologizing for what happened last night.”
Sunset didn’t look, but she felt the air seem to thin as that hope died.
“I get it,” she went on, “I’m basically your closest friend, and the first one you really had, and well, I sure as hell had to have made an impression on you during the Friendship Games. I understand how that can mess with someone’s head.”
“What-?”
“Just hold, on, okay? I need to get this out. Looking back now it should have been obvious to me even before you showed up last night. Maybe I was distracted, Maybe I wa… It doesn’t matter. I screwed up, this all got out of hand, and now this happened. Some friendship coach I turned out to be, huh?” Sunset smiled. “Still, when we get past this bit, it’s gonna be a funny story for the girls. Can you imagine Rarity’s face when we tell her?”
Twilight did not smile back. Her face was drawn as tight as it could be. Sunset held her breath, waiting for that expression to break.
“It’s not true.”
“W-what?” Sunset said, her composure starting to slip.
“It’s not true.”
“Twilight, trust me, it’s understandable-”
“I can’t believe-”
“Believe it, Twilight-”
“You actually think I don’t-”
“Twilight!”
“It’s not true, Sunset!”
“You don’t love me, Twilight!” Sunset snapped.
Twilight held stock still. Sunset fumed.
“It’s just a phase, okay? It’s Just. A. Phase.”
Twilight held in place. Breathing heavy, her eyes locked on Sunset’s. Sunset’s glared right back.
Twilight broke down into tears.
Sunset’s stomach dropped out on her while her entire back became one massive knot.
Holy crap.
Twilight’s elbow collapsed into her half eaten scrambled eggs.
Holy crap. This wasn’t how this was supposed to happen!
Sunset looked around, mind rushing to find something, anything.
Thinkthinkthink.
“Twilight?”
Twilight tried to react. It didn’t exactly work. Sunset’s paralysis broke and she scrambled into the seat next to her, grabbing her.
“Twilight? Twilight? Come on. Come on. I’m sorry. Horseapples. I’m bad at this.”
“-smifault-”
“What?”
“Screwed up.” She muttered. “Everything. Screwed plan. Screwed you. Now you don’t think,-” her words became incoherent “-don’t think I even love-” they broke down again.
“Twilight!” Sunset said, her voice desperate now. “You can’t be in love with me! You can’t!”
“Why not?” Twilight said somewhere between a groan and a wail. “Why not?”
Sunset wasn’t sure who was panicking now.
“Why don’t you-” her voice hitched, but when it came out again, it was clearer, “why don’t you understand…”
“Twilight…” Sunset whined.
“Why don’t you understand…” She was the one grabbing hold of Sunset now. “Why don’t you understand exactly… exactly how wonderful you are?”
The bottom of the world fell away underneath Sunset. She went into freefall.
“Don’t you get it? Don’t you get what it’s like to be near you?! Don’t you get what it’s like…?” Her eyes were wide, but she was calming down, her gaze locked on Sunset’s eyes. “The way you light up when you're around the others. The way you carry yourself with ease. The way you…” Twilight was shaking. “You fell Sunset, fell far, and harder than I ever did. Yet now, look at you. Look at you! You’re a leader! A hero! I don’t care what this other me has done Sunset, you’re my princess! You’re my light!”
“Twilight…”
“Don’t you understand… what I could have done without you?”
“Twilight, I was a monster.”
“I know!” Twilight was shaking as she spoke. “I know! And I love you all the more for it!”
Sunset finally hit rock bottom, and something in her shattered.
She cried. Something broke and it all came pouring out. Sunset fell into Twilight’s arms and wept. Twilight grabbed her, dug her fingers into Sunset’s unwashed hair whispering to her, telling her it would be alright. Sunset didn’t even know what it was anymore, but she let it all out, and Twilight kept her safe while she did.
“You think because you were a monster once, it taints everything you’ve ever done.”
Sunset didn’t reply with words, hugging the other girl closer.
“But that’s not true… it makes everything that came after all the more impressive. I don’t know if I ever would have stopped, even with Spike there, but you… you’ve become my light, Sunset.” Twilight smiled into Sunset’s hair. “You’re my light.”
“I’m sorry,” Sunset said.
“Why?”
Sunset laughed.
“I don’t know!”
She kept laughing. Twilight started laughing too. The two hugged each other tighter.
“Okay,” Sunset said.
“Okay?”
“Yeah, yeah. I think… I think I’m alright.”
“Okay.” Twilight smiled, letting Sunset go. “Okay.”
“Okay,” Sunset said. “Okay. I think,” she said staring to the side, “I think I’m okay.”
Sunset looked back at Twilight, a kind of helpless grin on her face. Twilight grinned back. The two sat like that for a moment, and then Sunset’s eyes flicked downward for just a second. She held Twilight’s gaze for a second more before her eyes flicked down again. Then again. Her face was getting a faint blush.
Twilight looked down and-
Horseapples!
-threw the open bathrobe closed as quick as she could.
Sunset’s lips pursed, but her eyes couldn’t hide the giggling.
“It’s not like I haven’t seen them before, Twilight.”
“That’s not-! I’m-! That’s different!”
“What? They were very-” Sunset made a sound with her nose. “-nice.”
“Sunset!”
“I’m sorry!” She was laughing now.
“No you’re not!”
“I’m trying to be serious!”
“Then you’re terrible at it!”
“I know!”
Sunset fell back to laughing. Twilight continued to speak but Sunset kept laughing. Twilight eventually set to fuming in the most adorable way possible, muttering to herself as she wiped scrambled egg off of an elbow, but Sunset kept laughing. She laughed until she had nothing left in her.
It felt good to laugh.
~*~*~*~
Twilight put her mug down and leaned back into her end of the sofa.
“So… what does this make us?”
Sunset leaned into her side of the sofa, thinking about it. Both her and Twilight were now wearing some of her pajamas and a set of her oversized “Lazy Sunday” t-shirts. She smiled and looked and Twilight.
“You really do love me, don’t you?”
“Yep!” Twilight beamed.
“Light of your life, and all that?”
Twilight blushed and glanced away.
“I mean, that was sort of in the moment-”
“No, I dig it.” Sunset smiled. “Seems like it was right.”
Twilight looked at Sunset out of the corner of her eye, and then frowned.
“You don’t look all that happy, though.”
“I mean… I didn’t even know I was carrying this stuff inside me Twilight.” Sunset gave a sad smile. “You kind of blundered right into the center of why I should get a therapist if they could get past me believing I’m a magic horse from another dimension. I believe you now, but…” Sunset looked up at Twilight. “It scares me.”
Twilight was silent for a while.
“Is there anything I can do?”
Sunset sat there for a long while. She remembered Twilight’s words back in the kitchen. There they had been liberating, but now something rose up inside of her in response. A hazy mix of doubts and fears, weaker now, but all the more stark now that she knew what they were. She remembered the light she felt, and wanted that light, but a thought pulsed in the back of her head, telling her-
You never got anywhere not taking the initiative, so why stop now?
-Sunset kicked that thought down into the heap with the rest of them.
“Yeah, sure, let’s do it.”
“Do what?” Twilight was surprised.
“Date. Try this out. Share secrets. Giggle. Take each other to meet the folks. Stuff like that. See how it all works.”
“Really?!”
“Yeah, I mean-”
Twilight was on top of her.
“-Yack!”
“Oh! OH! Sorry! Sorry! I don’t know if this is okay! I’m sorry. Did I hurt-?”
“Twilight!”
“Yeah?”
“It’s okay. Just give me some warning next time.”
“Oh, okay.”
“Cool.”
“Right.”
There was an awkward pause. Twilight was straddling her hips, looking down and to the left. Sunset suddenly remember the night before, when Twilight had been in the same position, exposed to Sunset, vulnerable and-
No. No. Not right now.
Twilight looked down at Sunset, and saw her blushing. Realization must have dawned because she glanced away and blushed as well, her hands reaching up to the length of hair which framed her face.
“So, uh, hehehe?”
“How about another movie?” Sunset blurted, face red.
“Sounds great!”
The two scrambled apart. Twilight gathered their coffee mugs up, and Sunset scrambled to her DVD shelf to pick something out. The two curtly leapt back onto the couch, a respectful distance apart. Twilight placed a few snacks she had from last night on the table and Sunset turned on the remote. The two relaxed as the movie started. By the time they’d gotten past the opening credits they had scooted next to each other. When the pig farmer found himself embroiled in the schemes of the evil sorcerer-king, they were leaning into each other. Sometime later Twilight’s hand fell on Sunset Shimmer’s lap.
Sunset’s concentration broke and she snapped and looked back at Twilight. Twilight blushed and went to retract her hand. Sunset grabbed it and held it in place. She gave Twilight an awkward smile.
The movie kept on in front of them, but Sunset held Twilight’s gaze. She looked into Twilight’s eyes and she remembered things. She remembered the way Twilight’s eyes would light up when Sunset would explain something about magic to her. Her humility when Princess Twilight was shocked at the nature of her device. The tenacity at which she worked on a problem. The way she looked when she laughed. Her smile.
Sunset gripped that slight purple hand tighter.
“Twilight?”
“Yeah?”
Sunset leaned forward, and…
well…
They never finished that movie either.