A/N: Most of this was done by TNaB, Altoid popped in every so often over the weekend to help too. I had little involvement myself as I was on vacation for the weekend where I had much less internet than I'd liked 
. I'm sorry it took so long for you to be able to read the next chapter, I didn't have the amount of internet access I'm used to for the past few days. Thanks for your patience and enjoy the second installment in the adventures of these three insane humans turned pony. 
Chapter 2
Twilight was trying her hardest to maintain her composure. The three stallions-men?-who followed her back to Ponyville had been insulting each other nonstop. Occasionally, two of them would find some common ground and team up on the third, only to promptly go back to arguing. The constant stream of noise was fraying Twilight’s nerves, and she tried to ignore it as much as she could. Still, a few things leaked through.
“I don’t care about history,” Nova was saying.
“I love it,” retorted Guinness. “There’s so much to learn.”
“They say those who don’t read history are doomed to repeat it,” agreed Valiant. “Like this silly dictatorship of a country. One day, democracy will come to this land.”
“Dictatorships get things done without all the bureaucracy,” said Guinness, thoughtfully.
“And they don’t let human rights stand in the way of progress,” added Nova.
“I’m okay with progress,” said Valiant.
“But not at the cost of rights!” exclaimed Guinness.
“Sometimes sacrifices must be made,” Nova told him.
“Screw that,” said Valiant. “I want my cake and I want to eat it.”
Twilight was wondering how things could get worse, when Pinkie Pie jumped out of the bushes.
“Did somepony say cake?” she shouted. “Hey, who are these new ponies?”
Valiant facehoofed. “One party, hold the sanity, coming right up.”
“Where did she come from?” Guinness asked nopony in particular.
“If you had been more observant you would have noticed her jump out of the bushes, you twit,” Nova replied.
“Please don't tempt me,” the pegasus growled at him.
“Are these guys crazy ponies like Valiant?” Pinkie asked Twilight.
“I think they might be crazier.” The lavender unicorn shook her head sadly.
“Nobody out-crazies me!” roared Valiant.
“That’s a weird thing to be proud of,” said Pinkie, laughing. “Anyway, I need to talk to you for a minute, silly Valiant. You too, Twilight.” The pink pony pulled the two of them aside into a huddle. Nothing but vague whispers could be heard from within.
Nova and Guinness were left standing together. The blue pegasus noticed the yellow unicorn looking at him with interest.
“Dude, if you are going to continue staring at me like that people are going to suspect that you have a thing for me.” Guinness sighed. “I am flattered that you find me so intriguing but I don't swing that way.”
“Those wings certainly don’t look strong or large enough to support you in flight,” Nova noted, ignoring the pegasus’ statement.
Guinness had seen one or two other ponies with wings, and didn’t think his were out of proportion. Not that he would know, as he hadn’t been in his current body very long.
“Well, what the hell is that horn on your forehead for?” the pegasus demanded.
Nova crossed his eyes and looked at the mysterious protrusion. He must have quickly realized how silly he looked, because his gaze quickly snapped back to the blue pony in front of him.
“Further testing will be needed,” said Nova. It was his way of saying that he hadn’t a clue, and it usually worked to hide the fact that he didn’t know the answer to something.
“Oh look at me,” Guinness said in a mocking tone, impersonating Nova. “I am a scientist and I test everything. Let me pull a Geiger counter out of my ass and investigate the radioactivity of my horn. Hmnyaaa!”
“That is actually a good idea, however, I wouldn’t make the strange noise you made.” Nova gestured to the device strapped to his leg. “And I do not want to use the backup power for something so trivial right now. As you can see, I most certainly don't carry it inside my-”
“Shut up,” Guinness rubbed his forehead with his hoof. A migraine rapidly forming. “Please, just shut up.”
The yellow unicorn huffed angrily but held his tongue. Guinness turned his attention to the three ponies whispering nearby. He glared at them with distrust.
Nova noticed the paranoid look in the blue pony’s eyes. “You don’t like people talking clandestinely, do you?”
“Right,” Guinness replied, not taking his eyes off of the whispering ponies.
“Well I propose an experiment to help distract you from your paranoia,” said Nova. Guinness seemed interested, so he continued.
“I want to see if you can fly, and how,” explained Nova.
Guinness perked up. “Sure.”
He gave one more critical look at the other ponies then leaped into the air. He flapped his wings, struggling to gain altitude. Somehow, the required movements to get him airborne came instinctively.
“Interesting,” Nova muttered to himself as the pegasus pulled off a loop. “Maybe they have a gas bladder that helps lift them into the air like a blimp.”
“Dude,” Guinness yelled down to the yellow unicorn. “Now you make me sound less cool now! Gas bladder. Makes me feel like a bean addict! I am a natural at this! All you have is a horn, and that Valiant guy has nothing!”
“I can still kick your ass!” Valiant yelled, pulling out of the huddle with Pinkie and Twilight to shake his hoof angrily at the pegasus.
“If you can catch me!” Guinness laughed. “So are you guys done talking?”
“Yes we are,” Valiant replied. “And I can catch you. Easily.”
“Oh no,” said Twilight. “You are not going to be violent anymore” She glared at the other two stallions. “That goes for all of you.”
“We have the advantage of numbers over you,” said Nova. He began walking towards Twilight menacingly.
A subtle grin slid across Valiant’s face and he took a step away from Twilight as she glared at Nova. Valiant enjoyed antagonizing her, but also knew that she was one of the most powerful unicorns in Equestria.
As Nova drew near, Twilight grabbed Valiant in the purple glow of her magic and tossed him towards the yellow unicorn. The earth pony’s surprised shout turned into a grunt of pain as they collided.
In the air, Guinness laughed. Twilight shot him a look and yanked the pegasus out of the sky, tossing him in the pile with the other two ponies.
“Son of a bitch!” Guinness screamed.
“Get the hell off me!” Valiant squirmed his way through the mix of limbs.
“Now I have to sanitize myself.” Nova groaned.
“Go inside the library until I send for you.” Twilight ordered, pointing to a nearby building carved from the inside of a tree.
“Valiant,” Pinkie cut in. “I need your help.”
Twilight rolled her eyes and let the orange pony go. She marched the other two inside.
“What other kinds of things should I include in the crazy pony party?” Pinkie asked Valiant as the two of them stood outside.
“Well, they aren’t crazy,” he said. “Actually, I have no idea about their mental health records, so they could actually be crazy. We’re probably not that lucky, though.”
“Okie dokie lokie, so what other kinds of things should I include in the weird-but-probably-not-crazy pony party?” asked Pinkie.
“Other than the usual decorations, food, music, and other guests?” Valiant smiled. “I have an idea. Do you remember when I was talking about fermentation and distillation?”
“Nope,” said Pinkie.
Valiant nodded, a smile starting to form on his face. “Good, then this will all be new to you.”
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“Was that a still back at the library?” asked Guinness in a low voice. The three former humans were walking with Pinkie and Twilight. It was late in the day, and the sun had almost set.
“It appeared to be a still,” replied Nova. “Crude, but it could probably produce alcohol.”
“I’ve always been more of a drinker of beer rather than hard liquor,” said the pegasus.
“Beer,” scoffed Nova. “Such a low-class swill.”
“And you’re a wimp if you can’t handle the burn,” said Valiant over his shoulder. “I prefer tequila.”
“Oh please,” said Nova, rolling his eyes.
“Un-uh,” said Pinkie, pulling Valiant back from trying to strike the yellow unicorn. “You don’t have time to fight. We have a party to go to!”
“I don’t understand,” said Guinness, “if this is supposed to be a surprise party, how come you’re telling us about it?”
“Pinkie could send you an invitation for a specific time and place, and you’d still be surprised,” said Twilight. “It’s her special talent. That’s why her cutie mark is something related to parties, balloons.”
“That’s the thing all ponies have on their ass?” asked Guinness, flatly.
“In a manner of speaking,” said Twilight.
The pegasus glanced at his own hind end. “Mine’s a Celtic Harp. It’s kind of a historical thing i guess. I do like history.”
“Mine is the logo for the Nova Project,” said Nova.
“It looks like a strand of DNA,” said Valiant.
“It is,” said the unicorn. “I suppose it symbolizes my extensive talents in the field of science.”
“What about yours?” Guinness asked Valiant.
“It’s a hood ornament,” said the earth pony. “I’m good with mechanical things.”
Nova snickered. “That’s pathetic.”
Guinness seemed interested. “I like cars.”
Valiant glanced at the two of them. “I’m going to ask a question. Do you prefer the Chrysler Corporation, the Ford Motor Company, or General Motors? Be very careful how you answer.”
“I like them all because they are American,” Guinness replied.
“Toyota,” said Nova.
Valiant and Guinness both tackled him.
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The three stallions arrived at the town square looking very disheveled. While he was being beaten, Nova had developed an instinctive use of magic from his horn and had landed some blows. Valiant had been on the receiving end of most of it. Guinness had managed to stay mostly out of reach by taking to the air, but he too was sporting a few bruises.
Twilight had put each of them in a bubble of her magic. Valiant had tried to use his like a hamster ball, knocking into the other two. Twilight was forced to restrict how they could move.
She didn’t understand the behavior of the three ponies. They all had something in common, so why did they dislike each other so much? It was going to drive her nuts trying to figure it out.
“What are we doing here?” complained Guinness. “I thought we were going to a party.”
“Oh, I think you’ll find...” said Pinkie. The doors and windows surrounding the town square suddenly burst open. Food was wheeled out onto the cobblestones. Ponies and confetti filled the square and loud music began playing.
“...the party has come to you!” finished the pink party pony. Guinness’ jaw dropped. Even Nova looked impressed.
“Be good,” Twilight commanded as she released the three of them from their bubbles. The stallions gave each other and Twilight dirty looks before disappearing in different directions.
Valiant headed to the refreshment table, ignoring most of the party guests in his way. Nova tried secluding himself but was unsuccessful in the crowd of curious and excited ponies. Three ponies in particular remained persistent even after he threatened to dissect them to find out how their anatomy functioned.
“So you are from the same place that Valiant says he is from?” the young white unicorn asked.
“Do you build robots like he does?” asked her friend, an orange pegasus.
“Why is your cutie mark a twisted ladder?” wondered the third, a yellow earth pony.
Nova huffed. “Yes; better ones than he does; and it is actually double helix.”
“What's a double helix?” Applebloom scratched her head in confusion.
“The base structure of a DNA strand,” Nova replied, all the while contemplating ways to escape the conversation.
“What is DNA?” Scootaloo asked.
“Deoxyribonucleic acid,” Nova said flatly.
“A dexy rib rub on clerics acid?” Sweetie Belle rolled the words in her mouth, trying to make sense of it.
“It’s the building blocks that develop the structure of all complex life through the replication and decoding of genetic information in the nuclei of cells.” The yellow pony looked at the three of them expectantly.
“What?” asked the three fillies in chorus.
Nova groaned. “It is the stuff in your body that determines what you look like.” The fillies still looked confused but he refused to explain in further detail.
Guinness was having a better time than his unicorn counterpart. He hummed Protectors of Earth as he devoured his plateful of food. He was about to refill his plate when a pegasus arriving late to the party caught his eye. She landed nearby and trotted past. Her rainbow tail almost touched him as she made her way towards the refreshments.
As Guinness stared at her open-mouthed, admiring her multicolored mane and tail, Valiant walked up next to him with two bottles of alcohol. He placed one in front of the dark blue pegasus, attracting his attention.
“What is this?” Guinness asked.
“Liquefied happiness,” Valiant joked. “And it tastes horrible. Made it myself.”
“Oh,” Guinness looked at the bottle hesitantly. “Thanks. You didn’t poison it, did you?”
Valiant shook his head. “It’s already bad enough. Most ponies won’t drink it.”
Guinness glanced around and saw several unopened bottles at the refreshments table. He shrugged and took a sip, cringing in disgust before drinking a little more. The multicolored pegasus walked past again and Guinness returned his attention to the unique mare.
Valiant noticed him watching her and he shook his head. “Man,” he said, squelching a laugh. “Please tell me you aren't thinking what I think you’re thinking about Rainbow Dash of all ponies.”
Guinness looked at him again. “What?”
“I know the look a guy gets when he’s interested in a girl.” Valiant smiled passively. “I don’t really care. I think it is incredibly... strange. But drink up and enjoy, I guess. I must warn you, though, Rainbow is a bitch.”
“Hey,” Guinness raised his hooves in an exaggerated shrug. “I am a pony now, I see nothing wrong with it. If I was still a human it would be different.”
Guinness chugged the last of his drink, coughed, then stood. “Thanks for the drink and wish me luck.”
“Well, I’m not into beastiality myself, but good luck.” Valiant shook his head as Guinness trotted away.
Nova walked over to where Valiant was sitting and they watched their ex-human companion talk with the rainbow mare.
Valiant laughed. “I don’t think he got very much when he was a human and now he is making up for it as a pony.”
Nova looked at the orange stallion, a puzzled expression on his face.
“I don’t think you got any,” Valiant continued.
Guinness meanwhile was trying his luck with Rainbow Dash.
“I’m new in town,” the dark blue pegasus was saying.
“I noticed,” she replied. “I hear that you are from the same place as Valiant.”
“Yep,” confirmed Guinness.
“So he isn't crazy like we thought he was?” Dash looked at Valiant who glared back hatefully.
“From what I have seen he is still a crazy bastard,” Guinness laughed.
“Are you crazy?” Dash asked with a smile.
“Depends on what you consider crazy,” he winked.
“Not much,” she laughed. “Valiant is flankhole crazy, but you seem to be a nicer type of crazy. Are you a good flyer?”
“I like to think that I am,” Guinness beamed.
“Well,” Dash said quietly. “Meet me tomorrow morning on the edge of the Everfree Forest and you can show me how good a flyer you are. Maybe I could even give you a few tips.”
“Sounds like a date,” Guinness winked.
“You wish.” Dash laughed, shaking her head.
As they continued to talk Valiant watched them intently. He turned to the pony beside him with a twisted smile on his face.
“Hey, Nova,” Valiant whispered. “Do you enjoy screwing with people like I do?”
Nova thought for a moment before replying. “Occasionally. Especially if I find said person distasteful.”
“Then we are going to have fun tomorrow morning.” Valiant’s grin grew and he returned his attention to the two pegasi. “We are going to have a lot of fun.”
Three fillies ran by. “Cutie Mark Crusaders Genetic Engineering!”
Valiant glanced curiously at Nova.
The unicorn shrugged. “You can’t stop progress.”