Dear Diary,
My name is Celestia. Along with my younger sister Luna, I am the new leader of a land called Equestria. We have each been granted the title of Princess after our role in defeating the spirit of Chaos that had taken over this land.
We have begun a shared journal, but every pony needs a private place to share her thoughts, and so I have started this new diary for myself. It is a new record for a new life.
Equestria is a beautiful land with so much potential. But in studying its history, it seems that there has been a lot of strife. Its very discovery was due to conflict between the three pony tribes. Yet in the end they did come together, only to lose everything to this 'Discord'.
I am Alicorn and this land has welcomed my sister and myself – we are landed here. Between that and our discovery of the Elements of Harmony, which we used to overcome Discord, I know that we can protect everypony. I will spend my last breath protecting the harmony of this land and the little ponies who live here. I know that Luna will do the same.
Our first task is simply to restore order. Even the very sun and moon are disrupted, but Luna and I have magic enough (and coincidental affinity) to raise and lower them on a schedule. We are working on putting a functional government back in place. We will work day and night, quite literally, to put everything back in order.
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Dear Diary,
Things are going very well. We have a wonderful council in place, and they have arranged the construction of a beautiful palace on the edge of the Everfree Forest, just above the Tree of Harmony. It is very nearly complete and Luna and I have already moved in.
I have been studying the formal traditions of leadership in Equestria in hopes that we will be more readily accepted by her allies. We have already had very encouraging and productive meetings with the Griffin Kingdom and made strides towards arranging at least a meeting with the Dragons.
Luna thinks I am being silly in working so hard to be so formal, but we made a promise to represent these ponies. I think that we owe it to them to always appear the best that we can. She has promised to try, I can't ask for more than that.
At least she seems to be having fun with it. I understand she has requested a series of underground tunnels and plans to decorate them as creepy catacombs. I can only imagine! But it is good to see her smile.
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Dear Diary,
Luna took me on a brief tour of her catacombs today. They form an incredibly intricate and frankly rather macabre set of tunnels and traps. One corridor was even lined with torch holders shaped as disembodied hooves. Luna is so weird!
She also showed me a number of spells she had devised to confuse and entrap unwary visitors, but I must admit that I was rather distracted. I have been putting a great deal of thought into what we must do next to restore Equestria. We have been making great strides with Equestria's allies, but she has enemies as well. I think that we must soon make a move to show that we are serious. Something that shows we are not reliant on artifacts such as the Elements of Harmony.
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Dear Diary,
We have failed in the most terrible manner possible. I can hardly bear to think about it, but if I don't talk to somepony, I shall go mad. I have fought with Luna and cannot confide in her, so I must write about it here.
In the North of Equestria lies the Crystal Empire. It is a beacon of hope and love that shines across all of Equestria. Or at least, it used to be.
We received a visit from a crystal unicorn named Radiant Hope. She told us a dreadful tale of a greedy unicorn calling himself King Sombra. Using some form of dark magic, he defeated the Princess there and stole the Crystal Heart which powered their magic. He took command of the Empire and had made all the crystal ponies his slaves. Without the Crystal Heart to spread the light of the empire, his darkness was creeping across Equestria.
The worst part of her story, was that he had been her best friend up until that point. She begged us to help.
Luna and I flew there to stop him, restore the Crystal Heart and restore the magic of the Empire. But diary, I am sometimes very foolish, and this was one of those times. As King Sombra was just a unicorn, I was certain that Luna and I would both be an easy match for him. Rather than risk overuse of the Elements of Harmony, we left them behind and confronted him on our own.
It is true that we overpowered his magic, but he had placed a terrible curse on the land. As he faded into the exile that we created for him, the empire and all the ponies faded with him. ALL of them! We lost them ALL!
Luna wanted so badly to try everything to bring them back, but I knew it was too late. We could not reverse our own spell, as we had designed it such that even we could not reverse it. We had nothing to attach our magic to, no idea what kind of curse Sombra used, and no place to start. I had to leave before my heart broke in front of my sister, and I have been locked in my room since – just in case the tears fall.
Curse that wretched unicorn! Why didn't he step down when we offered him the chance? Why did he have to hurt so many innocent ponies? … and why didn't I come better prepared? I was so quick to attack - why didn't I try to negotiate harder? Why couldn't I DO THE RIGHT THING?
How can I call myself the leader of Equestria after letting so many fall? What will happen now that we no longer have the magic of the Crystal Empire to protect this land?
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Dear Diary,
Luna has become rather mopey and has been acting out of character. The other night she roused an entire village from their slumber just to present herself to them – needless to say the ponies of Hoofington were not impressed. I have been getting numerous complaints about her from the citizens of Equestria and to me she is either curt or sulky.
It is rather frustrating. I have done my best to move on from our failures, she must learn to accept her responsibility and do the same.
I did manage to get one idea through to her – I suggested she turn raising the moon into a ceremony that the ponies could attend willingly. It has been too long since I have seen Luna smile, but she smiled at that suggestion.
I need a lot more of my sister's smile in my life.
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Dear Diary,
I have been having bad dreams again…
It has been several weeks since Luna's failed attempt at a Lunar Celebration and I am losing patience with her. All she talks about now is how the ponies hate her and love me, how she doesn't demand that much from them, and how they need to give her night a chance.
She looked me in the eye this evening and accused me of not loving her either, because I snapped a little bit at her. "I'm not one of your precious 'little ponies'," she said, with such bitterness that I expected venom. "So you probably don't even love me anymore – you'd rather love them."
I had to turn and walk away. Those words cut me deep and I just don't have the strength right now to fight with her. I was either going to bawl or say something I'd very much regret – I had to leave.
"Walk away," she shouted after me. "That's all you do anymore!"
But what else could I do?
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Dear Diary,
I am so angry, and so hurt, and so ashamed. I don't know what I should do.
I received word that a delegation from Saddle Arabia was visiting Equestria and desired an audience with me. It seems word had reached them that Equestria had new rulers and they sought to re-open old trade agreements.
Unfortunately, they had not been informed that Luna also ruled. I was advised that they were a strict society and expected things to be 'just so'. They would also be arriving mid-afternoon, when Luna would be sleeping, so even though I knew it was wrong of me, I agreed to meet them by myself.
Luna found out and we had the most dreadful row. All the stress and frustration came out – we were shouting at each other like we haven't done since we were children. She was angry at being excluded and I... I was angry that I had been caught.
But what I did next was unforgivable. My mind drew up all her complaints and whining, all her demands that the ponies need to love her and accusations against me; and I spoke before I even had a chance to think about it. I called her a baby filly throwing a tantrum who had no place at a royal event.
I walked away as quickly as I could and Luna did not call after me. I have not seen her since. I barely focused on our guests during our dinner – I hope they did not think me rude. But all I could think of was Luna's face... in that instant I realized that I had hurt her more than she could ever have hurt me, even all our fights combined. I swear I didn't mean to! But now I am afraid to face her again.
Why is it so hard to show a sister how much you love her? I dare not seek her out while she is still angry. But... once she is over it and she comes back up, I will apologize... I will beg for her forgiveness if I must.
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Dear Diary,
My sister is gone... forever. It is all my fault.
I am going to go cry now.
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Dear Diary,
It has been three weeks since I used the Elements of Harmony to banish Luna. My heart is still torn and I wonder if I should ever be whole again... but Equestria still needs me. I must try to carry on.
Luna used some dark magic of her own device to become 'Nightmare Moon', to face me and attempt to take control by force. This twisted distortion of my beloved sister haunts my sleep. I dream that I am in the darkest night, which no light nor magic will pierce. My voice echoes when I call out but there is no other sound. Then I hear her laugh right behind me, and I whirl around. Her eyes light up in the darkness - terrible, dragon eyes - and she steps forward and reveals herself.
I step back, but there is nowhere to go. I tell her, "Luna, please stop this!" But she laughs again, and tells me that she is not Luna… just as she did the night it really happened. "I'm sorry!" I tell her. "Please come back to me!"
"It's too late for sorry," she tells me. "You have always been too late." And I know she's right…
She opens her mouth and she has terrible fangs there. Then she lunges forward and I feel those fangs on my throat, piercing… I wake up. Some nights I scream. I have not feared much in life, but Nightmare Moon terrifies me.
I have not told anypony about these dreams.
I have to report that the Elements of Harmony stopped working after the spell completed... they simply dropped to the ground. This would seem to be because the bond between Luna and I was severed... which would in turn mean that she had still loved me even up until that last moment. That only makes what I did all the more reprehensible.
Everypony has been very supportive, but also quick to tell me that they felt I did what had to be done and that it was the only answer. It makes me angry to hear that... there was much more I could have done. I could have gone to her before she turned her heart. I could have tried harder to help integrate her. I could have loved her more. This was my failing, not hers.
I miss her so very much. If she were here now, I would hug her and kiss her forehead and tell her that I love her. I wouldn't stop no matter how much she protested.
Oh Luna. I am so very, very sorry.