Heyyy, I'm clean again!
With the guard curfew coming, my 'day' is just starting. As I walk out of the showers, there are three guards standing around holding their washing thingies. They must have noticed I was in there a moment ago, and given me my privacy. Since I don't belong to the Guard, they are super nice to allow me to use their showers. The Guard really employs the best of the best.
"Tank yoo for yor pay-shence," I say, walking away while accompanied by their scrunched noses. I must still smell a little. My bad, I shouldn't have forgotten the soap.
"Go away..."
See? Not even a snarky remark about my mistake.
Humming to myself, I enter the boiler room again. If things go as usual, I should have about an hour before all the day guards fall asleep and the night shift ones leave for their post.
"Bed soap, sliping mai maind laik det!" I shake my hoof at the small package under a wardrobe full of cleaning supplies. It doesn't respond, but it gets the message. Since I don't really have any other place to store my things, and the supply wardrobe belongs to the barracks, not me, the niche under the wardrobe is the only safe spot for what little I have.
I should just appreciate my luck that I don't have anything else then. Soap, ten bits which will have to last me until next week, few shards of glass serving as a makeshift mirror or knife, and few bits of string I scrounged from a pizza box somepony threw out. String is always useful.
I recount the ten bits. It's all still there. The guards must be doing a great job keeping thieves out then. Still, it's not much, but all that means is that my diet will be super effective. I can feel the pounds on my stomach melting already.
*Knock knock!*
Huh? It's not locked, and the boiler room isn't off limits. Does somepony know I'm here? Did I forget anything in the showers? Are they mad I used them?
"Its not lokd!"
The door opens and a dark blue lunar pegasus mare with white mane carefully leans inside.
"Hello, mister janitor guy?" she asks slowly, unsure if she wants to be here or not. Most ponies avoid me. It can't be intentional, though, I just don't really do anything worth mentioning, and they have their hooves full with keeping the peace.
"Yes?" I push my meager belongings back under the wardrobe, "Do yoo need anytink?"
Stupid, of course she needs something. Why else would she be here, to make conversation? There are tons of interesting ponies out there to talk to. So I correct myself:
"I meen, wot do yoo need?"
"Hey, erm, my name is Eclipse, and I live in room twenty-six," she extends her hoof.
I look at it.
I poke it.
Sure enough, it's a hoof. Nice, well-maintained hoof adorned with the night shift silvery horseshoe.
She seems to be waiting for something.
"Preety neim and a preety huf?" I try.
Her brows raise a little.
"What's YOUR name?"
Oh? RIGHT! She has to have some sort of an official cleaning request, and needs to know who's going to be handling it.
"Greyscale, I kleen dis pleis... I meen, yoo alredy knou det. Soree 'bout d huf tink."
She is so cool! She doesn't just wave it off but actually follows up on what I said. Ponies rarely do that. Can't blame them, I am sort of difficult to understand when I open my mouth.
"Sooo, you didn't mean it when you said my hoof and my name were pretty?"
"No, yes, I meen no, I meen somtink, I meen," my ears droop and I try to make myself as small as possible, "Aim bed at dis... 'mong other tinks. Do yoo need to use dis room? Should Ai leev until yoo're done?"
"Wha- wait- why- what? No, I just wanted to ask if you could repair my bunk bed. Some of the woodwork broke, and my mattress keeps slipping out."
"Aim not shure, Ai just waip d floors. Aiv never dun eny ree-pears. Ai don't eeven know were too bai d small beem thinks, whatevr dey arr kold."
"Oh, well, that sucks. I'll ask elsewhere then."
"Weit! Umm, Ail trai to tink of sumtink. I tink I saw a pleis were I kud get sumtink at dis taim of dei, or nait. Wen das yor shift end?"
"Eight in the morning."
"Okey, if its not dun bai eit, it meens Ai didnt come up with anytink. If Ai ken do sumting 'bout eet, Ai wont bother yoo in your off taim. Twenty-six, wos eet?"
"Yeah. Thanks!"
"No reeson, Ai didnt doo anytink yet."
She gives me a surprised look, but in the end she smiles and leaves. Strange mare, asking for my name as if it mattered. This isn't my job, but me and my ten bits might still be able to help. There is a place I go by every night which sells general supplies. Perhaps I could find something there. Not a plank of wood, obviously, but something tough enough to serve for few weeks before she finds somepony to do the job right.
It doesn't matter whether I clean the floors now or later. The official request is just that I have to be done before the first day guard shift starts at eight, which means that I have enough time to look around and do all I have to.
I grab my keys and the bits, and sneak out of the barracks. I pass few returning day guards on the way, but I must be getting really good at keeping out of the way, because none even glance at me. I'm like a shadow, a well-lubricated ninja.
As if I didn't even exist.
The general store is open twenty-four seven, although the clerk seems very unhappy about it. Just tired, I guess.
"Um, sir? Soree to bother yoo, but Ai need sumtink too ree-pear a bunk bed."
"What's wrong with it?" he gradually chews through my request. As annoyed as he looks, he doesn't tell me to go away and actually tries to understand me.
I knew I forgot something.
"Ail bee RAIT bek!" he facehoofs as I run out of the store.
"Retard," I hear and agree. I missed the most important thing.
The 'right back' turns into about forty minutes, during which I once again infiltrate my workplace like lightning crossed with a hedgehog, make sure my assumption about just one broken plank under the mattress was correct, and walk back to the store.
"Uan wooden plenk," I spread my hooves, "'bout DIS long, plees."
"Those comes only in stacks of five. Ten bits."
"But Ai onlee need uan."
"Ten bits."
"For d uan?"
"For all five."
"But-"
"Listen! These things go in bulk, is that clear?"
My lip wibbles as the last of my bits leave the small pouch hanging around my neck. I could say the unicorn clerk wasn't acting too friendly, but as he looks at me trying to balance the box on my back, he offers me a bag.
FOR FREE!
"Tank yoo!" I mumble with my mouth full of plastic.
Ponies are really nice if you let them. I now have a plastic bag and a small cartboard box to add to my possessions. Plus, a way to solve tonight's problem which leaves me with FOUR spare planks of wood. Granted, three days without food will be a challenge, but I have all the fresh water I can drink, and my diet will just be that more effective. Soon, I'll look fit like a guard and nopony will be able to tell that I just wipe the floors.
Half an hour later, the bed is fixed, although I made a mess of the clothes randomly strewn around the room.
"Ouch!" I hiss, as my splintered hoof touches the floor again. Having no real equipment, I had to use it to hammer the plank in place, and must have messed up. Oh well, I should be able to use some of the rougher flagstones in the city as a file. I am a genius.