//------------------------------// // Level 26: A Messa Things // Story: Equestria Was Merely a Setback! // by Thunderscourge //------------------------------// A/N: Special thanks to GamerGoddessDin, Amethyst Blade, refferee, nwithan12, EquestrianNecromancer, Freya, SilentMech, nioniosbbbb, Mister E, and michaelb958 for your comments last time! Without you I wouldn't have been able to get this done so quickly, as my dog just passed away suddenly the other day years before his breed is supposed to, so talking with you all with your commentary has helped raise my spirits and as such I am very grateful. I'd rather not talk about my dog though, so I would rather have nice and fun conversations with you all about the story so I can keep my mind off what happened. I hope you all enjoy the chapter, and I hope to hear your thoughts in the comments below! “What’s a kid like you doing here?” Vanessa stopped her cooking preparations to turn and see a member of the Scarlet Crusade approaching her. He was taller than the soldiers, though only of average size otherwise, with his musculature hidden beneath his red and white armored uniform. His face held an extreme smugness to it, and his blonde hair glistened in the torchlight of the room as he stood in its doorway. Given that he was not a high ranking officer or someone she knew yet, Vanessa turned back to her work without paying him much more mind, “To repay my debt to the Scarlet Crusade, I am providing my meager cooking skills to feed the troops.” His laugh nearly caused her to mishandle the knife in her hands. Instead of nearly cutting her as a normal chef might, her mishandling would have ended with it in his throat, and it was a strong urge to curb as he finished laughing at her. “Oh yeah, I remember you. You must have gotten healed by one of our Priests if you’re not dragging yourself along the floor anymore.” Vanessa forced herself to continue focusing on her work and tried to ignore him even as the man walked inside and approached her to look at what she was doing. “Make sure to make something good. I don’t know when he’s showing up, but my friend Dirge should be around soon with a caravan of supplies for the Crusade.” That was something Vanessa had already heard about, and given the information the surviving members of the Defias Brotherhood gave her it was also most likely going to coincide with Trixie’s arrival. As such, Vanessa already had plans to make something “good” for then. Given that Vanessa was still ignoring him, the man placed a hand forcefully on her shoulder to try and get her attention. “Hey, you hear me? Prepare something that won’t upset his stomach like this other garbage you’re making would—” Vanessa dropped her knife as she spun around to punch the taller man in the face. He stumbled back at first, caught off guard by the sudden attack from a mere cook and also by how much of a punch someone so young could muster. The Scarlet Crusader took a swing at Vanessa in his anger, “Why you little brat!” His punch missed as Vanessa ducked underneath him, allowing her to then shift his weight so he carried over her and landed on his back. She thought the issue settled, and was not about to blow her cover by actually killing him, but he had other plans. The man jumped back to his feet in a quick recovery, and as Vanessa turned to parry the punch she expected from him she instead had a strong kick break through her block and connect with her head. This hit took her off her feet and suddenly she was the one on her back, but the fight would go no further as a harsh voice echoed in the room. “Jerid, cease this pathetic display at once.” Vanessa wiped some blood from her face as she rose up from the ground to see that in the short time they had been fighting another man had entered. Realizing instantly that this was the Grand Crusader of the Scarlet forces, Vanessa snapped a salute to him just as her foe did. “Yes sir! I apologize, sir!” the Scarlet Crusader named Jerid said to his superior officer. He had been already forgotten by Dathrohan though, who had turned his attention to Vanessa with great interest. “You have the makings for a good Crusade member. I hope you will stay with us after you have paid us back for our services.” Having no intentions to stay with an organization doomed for failure, and having her own plans for the future, Vanessa would normally decline such an offer with a laugh…but she was pretending to be some meek little girl, so this was not the time to upset the man who could on a whim have her executed. “Thank you, sir,” she lied, hoping that her agents were correct and that Trixie would be arriving sooner than later. If forced to be with these bigoted religious zealots much longer, someone would die…and now that she had a target for her frustrations it was difficult to not just kill the regular crusader soldier who now held a special place of hatred in her heart for having managed to catch her off guard in his rage and actually get the better of her for a moment. Either Trixie showed up soon, or Jerid was eating his friend’s portions of the poisoned food. Trixie tapped the map provided by Karl and Tony. “This flight path will lead us through territory we are not suited to cross on foot. It will land us in Alliance territory, which is fine if Kael and I disguise ourselves, but we will need to traverse some land from there while keeping quiet.” It was half a continent away to where they were going, but that was fine if they flew. That way they would not have to cross steep mountain cliffs and volcanoes. Trixie moved her finger to show the upper right of her own map where Silvermoon City lay, “Bronn, you will leave ahead of us, with a message and Nana, and go to Silvermoon. Then you will travel with haste to this location,” she moved her finger down to where the Scarlet Monastery was on her own map. With no objection from her mercenary, Trixie continued her planning and began looking over the various documents provided by Karl as to the Scarlet Crusade’s movements and details. “This is their supply route from their Eastern bases in the Plaguelands, correct?” “Yes, that is where the majority of their army is stationed,” Tony responded as Trixie pondered over the area in-between Silvermoon and the monastery to its southwest. Tapping an area nearby the monastery where a supply route was, Trixie smiled at everyone gathered around her planning table, “Lavitz, Kael, and I will wait here after we have one of you scout an incoming caravan or cart to the base,” she smiled even more as she continued to develop her plan, “Kael will be covered up, but wearing his armor. Lavitz and I will convince the caravan to bring us to the monastery, either through words or through force.” Going back to the Scarlet Monastery’s map, Trixie pointed to the northern area where there appeared to be a place of worship. This would no doubt have the most priests, and given her plot for getting inside that was precisely where she would end up and where she wanted to end up. “Once inside they will likely bring us here. We will use this point to establish our operating base, and use that to launch our invasion.” After having survived a bumpy flight which included hugging Kael tightly so his poisoned body would not just fall from the flying mount with a beak Trixie had forgotten to ask the name of, Trixie was glad to be on the ground again. After some minor travel with her forces she had come to the location she ought to wait for a supply caravan, and found herself board as she waited for it to do so. If she was to sell her disguise, she needed to think out all the possible details. She’d been working on them during the flight, some of them made easier by having a half-conscious member of her cover story so close to her and thus giving rise to ideas, which left her at her current point of contemplation. “Hmmm…one is too few, two would mean rivalry, three would lead to the older, middle, younger dynamic, four…” Trixie turned to look down at Kael as the pain of his poison wracked him. He was barely awake, and the only other person in the immediate vicinity was Lavitz, who stood guard about a dozen feet away while Trixie took to looking after Kael. It was part of the disguise after all, and she’d do it anyways after how much he did for her. “Four would be good. At least. I’ll have a lot of time on my hands these next few thousand years…” Kael cracked his eyes open weakly and tried glancing at Trixie before hastily shutting them in pain. “Four what?” Trixie patted him on the forehead and laughed at his inquiry in an embarrassed fashion. She didn’t exactly want to tell him where her mind had been moments ago. “Oh, nothing. Just planning out all possible details for our cover story.” Her attempt to brush him off made Kael all the more curious, even if he was in extreme pain, “What part?” Now blushing, Trixie lowered her hand so that it covered his eyes, “Don’t worry about it. You just rest.” So what if she was imagining hypothetical children for their cover story? As in, hypothetical children they were planning to have. After all, it was quite easy to pretend to be the poor man’s loving wife tending to him in his moment of weakness to garner sympathy from a passing group of Scarlet Crusade members. Throw in a fake pregnancy, and they would be playing to her tune soon enough. Sure, Trixie did not really know the details of pregnancy, but how hard could it be to pretend to be at the stage when she wouldn’t even be showing yet? It’s not like they’d use an X-ray on her or something to find out. The pathway was in a forested part of what was labeled on Reuenthal’s map as “The Plaguelands”, and was in the grand scheme of things only a stone’s throw from the location Trixie was tasked with taking. “So, four, huh?” Trixie shot a glare over to Lavitz, sensing that the soldier was playfully mocking her. “Oh be quiet. It’s just a cover.” Lavitz shrugged from his station, keeping his voice low so as to not rouse the nearly unconscious Kael from his unaware state. “Quite the odd detail to focus on in a backstory, since you’re thinking ahead rather than backwards.” Trixie crossed her arms over her chest and turned away from the man, flustered by his questioning of her methods, “Well what am I to say when I pretend to be pregnant and I am asked how many children I plan to have? I do not want to be caught off guard.” “Still, there’s a million ways you could have planned this, and you go the route that has you married to our Prince,” Lavitz laughed at the complete denial he was being faced with. Was she even aware of her own feelings, or was it his job now to make her see them? When Trixie just mumbled something and blushed, Lavitz moved over to her to give her a sympathetic pat on the shoulder. “I’m not judging. Though I may have to borrow your first or second born for a day to pass off as my own to my mother, so she stops bugging me about getting a wife.” Trixie looked at him with narrowed eyes, “I’ll charge you by the hour.” “After all I do for you, you’d rent your child to me like a common item? I’m not sure who should be insulted, the poor child or myself.” Trixie scoffed as she retorted her reason for charging for the time involved, “A Prince’s time is valuable.” Of course Trixie did not mean, or at least consciously mean, what it sounded like, but Lavitz had a hard time keeping a hearty laugh from bursting out as she watched with confusion caused by his sudden amusement. To explain it so she could understand, Lavitz pointed a thumb over at Kael, “Oh, so you do intend to marry him. And here I thought you didn’t want to admit you like him.” Trixie instantly realized her slip-up and mistake, and she shook her head fervently, “I could marry any number of Princes, and a time traveling Gnome-thing called me a Queen, so my children will be Princes and Princesses if I choose to have any at all. I am the Great and Powerful Trixie, settling for anything less than a Prince would be to settle for less than I am worth.” “…okay then, so just to be clear you intend to marry a Prince, who may or may not be the one right next to you?” Trixie spoke back with some pride still in her voice, “I am not some gold digger, so I won’t use Kael like that. Besides marrying him won’t change much of anything, we’re already partners in just about every way. We even sleep in the same bed like some married people do…or so I hear.” Lavitz had been surprised to learn their sleeping habits, but he was not exactly opposed to it. If proximity served as a way of making them romantically closer, he was all for letting the Elves sleep in the same bed. It also made guarding and keeping tack of them easier. Still, it seemed to imply something he was sure it did not, since he had not heard any noises from them when they slept, “I was going to ask about that. Any particular reason you two do that?” “At first it was to save money, but now we’re just…in a habit,” Trixie shrugged as she ran a hand unconsciously through Kael’s hair, “Besides, I don’t mind at all.” Having learned just how…clueless Trixie was in some regards given his time with her, Lavitz coughed as he thought about how to put what was on his mind nicely. He took a few steps away from Trixie to take his original spot where he had the best vantage point. “I’m sure you don’t, but perhaps he does…” Trixie looked up at him with some confusion, not understanding why sleeping half naked on top of Kael would pose a problem for the man, “Why would he possibly mind? Am I repulsive?” “Hardly, but I would reckon it’s difficult for him to be so close to a beautiful woman every night.” “I still don’t get it.” Lavitz was saved from having to explain the details of why it might be awkward by the sight of their approaching target. Their waiting paid off in the end, and right about the time Trixie managed to finish the persona she would play the part of the sight of a horse pulled cart came into view. The vehicle was large enough to probably hold about two people in the front and six in the back where supplies probably were kept, and it appeared to just have one man directing the horses while some laughter and voices could be heard out the back. “Okay Lavitz, are you ready?” He moved to be closer to Trixie and adopted a position on the ground as if he was wounded, “Yes. Fortunately my armor appears slightly scruffed up because of that last fight, which will help this ruse.” The cart approached without pause, not seeming to slow as it drew closer to Trixie’s spot beside the road. Worried that it might just pass them by, Trixie got up and began flagging it down. “Sir! Sir!” The man directing the cart, a black haired man in the Scarlet Crusade’s colors, pulled on his reigns to slow down to a halt right by her. Having succeeded already at this point, Trixie smiled as she made sure her communication device was set. “What is it?” the Crusader called out to Trixie in a gruff voice, not seeming to be all that amenable to stopping for strangers…but the fact that he had told Trixie that he was not completely callous. Moving back a bit to motion to Kael pitifully, Trixie put on her saddest face as she spoke to the man, “My husband and I were attacked by a group of lawless fiends a short while ago and he was poisoned, on top of the wounds we have received.” Once the cart was completely halted a trio of soldiers leapt out of its back and took up defensive positions around it. They were quite trained, Trixie noted, but she had faith that Lavitz could handle them…and faith that Karl, who was situated in another section of the woods with his crossbow, could stop anyone from running. Now concerned with the possibility of an attack from a large force, the Crusader Trixie was speaking to looked around and began to scan the woods for any threats, “Where are these bandits?” Trixie kept a smirk off her face as she successfully lowered his guard; he was expecting an attack from outside now, while discounting her and her companions as a threat. Trixie pointed in the direction of the monastery, “They fled because of our bodyguard fortunately, but could come back with more horrible fiends,” Trixie knelt down next to Kael and brushed a hand over his warm face, “Please help us, my poor husband is not well.” The understanding Crusader nodded to her, buying the story she was spinning completely, “I see. Well, we do not have much room between our soldiers and supplies, so you’ll have to walk alongside us.” Trixie forced herself to blush as she cupped her stomach with the hand not touching Kael, “I really ought not to for too long. You see, I am with child.” Who would turn down a poor helpless woman who had been attacked, and who was also pregnant? Utilizing the evolutionary imperatives of the mind, Trixie played on things she knew would garner her sympathy. The man leapt from his seat and rushed to Trixie and Kael, now apparently worried for their well being beyond common decency, “Do you need any medical attention for you and the child? We can help you to the best of our ability.” Trixie gave him a friendly smile as she thought about this would be a perfect way to get into the deepest part of the monastery where all the healers were, “I would like to be healed if possible, yes. Can you take me to a healer along with my husband?” Unfortunately for Trixie, she had flagged down someone who negated her need to even go to the monastery. “You are in luck. I do not focus primarily on it, but I have some skill in healing.” Trixie blinked as her mind raced at that revelation. How could she still use this and come out ahead? He very well may just heal them and be on his way. “You’re a priest?” “Why yes, I am,” he smiled as he began to look Trixie over, noticing quickly that she was not yet showing but coming to different conclusion than the correct one as to why that was, “So, how far along are you in your pregnancy?” “I don’t remember doing that…” Kael mumbled before gasping in pain, still suffering from the Huntard’s poison. Trixie wrapped her arms around Kael and began to cradle him in a sickeningly sweet manner, “See how unwell he is? Speaking in his delirious state, the poor thing. They really got him with their poisons.” “I’ll tend him first then with what I have available at the moment,” the Priest waved a hand and a flash of white-yellow light moved from his hand to Kael’s body. Instantly Kael began to ease in his pain, and so the Priest turned his attention back to Trixie, “When did you last bleed so I can tell what I am dealing with?” Trixie had not expected that as a question, so she crafted the response on her feet, “Oh, when the bandits attacked us. They didn’t nick me too badly though, but—” The Priest laughed at her misunderstanding, “No, I mean how many months into your pregnancy are you?” What did bleeding have to do with pregnancy? Trixie wished she had read a book on it at some point. Or had a basic education to have learned how it even happened. She knew how males and females were different on a basic level, but everything beyond that was foreign to her. Trixie blushed in embarrassment as she looked to the side, averting her eyes from the man to both sell her response as well as to avoid showing him her hesitation, “Oh…ummm, I don’t particularly know. To be honest I’m not even sure how it happened.” “Well your husband must be a lucky man to have gotten a woman as beautiful as you in bed,” the Priest laughed, having noticed that Trixie was quite the superb specimen of her species. Fortunately he had his own lover, so he did not continue that train of thought in their conversation, “Is it your first child? You appear quite built to handle a pregnancy if it is.” Realizing that he was likely referring to her huge hips, Trixie laughed as she started using some of her false identity’s information. “I will take that as a compliment, and yes, it is. I’m still deciding on names. Right now I’m thinking Luna or Hela if it is a girl, and Loki or Sleep Near if it is a boy. Which do you think is the best?” The man rose an eyebrow as he began to use his healing magic now on Trixie, “Those don’t really sound like Elven names I know. Now—” He gasped as he realized he was not healing a woman and a very small being inside of her, but rather just a woman. He could feel the way his magic danced across people, and this was not the same sensation as healing a pregnant woman. “Wait a minute, you’re not—” Trixie bashed her head into his and knocked him back, prompting Lavitz to leap from the ground and strike one of the guards. He had nearly missed his cue because of how amused he had been at Trixie’s charade, but fortunately he had been able to curb his laughter so as to not ruin it. The Crusader who had been trying to help Trixie and Kael found a whip wrapped around his neck in a flash, though Trixie did not wrap it so tight as to strangle him. As Lavitz finished mopping up the remaining guards with the help of Karl’s long ranged attacks, Trixie spoke to the man she had at her mercy. “Sorry for misleading you. Now, we’re not here to hurt anyone, not really, but we’ve been ordered to take over your base and will crack as many skulls as needed to accomplish that. So you’re going to bring us in to your facility, and we’re going to do just that, okay?” The man coughed from a slight lack of breath caused by his partially constricted throat, though he did not struggle given how precarious of a situation he was placed in, “You’ll never get away with it. My guards—” Given that he was not fighting back, Trixie felt like she could accurately judge that he valued his life more than his cause, and so she tightened her whip’s hold on his throat as a bluff. She did not actually intend to kill anyone at all, but he didn’t know that she was completely opposed to killing, “You see, I think you’re the sort who cares about his life. You care about your life, right?” He nodded slowly, soothing some of Trixie’s nerves. Part of this ploy relied on using one of these poor Crusaders as a ticket inside, and she didn’t want to actually have to start wounding them to do what she wanted, “Then you’ll report that a bandit attack took out your guards, but some outsiders assisted you and you came back to have everyone healed. You’ll pretend that we saved you and are in our debt, and bring us to where your healers are. You’ll tell them that the bandits are still nearby, and you will have your forces attack them.” “Fine. I guess I don’t have a choice…not my fault you’re walking into your own funeral though.” Trixie laughed at his comment. She had survived quite a lot so far with far worse odds than this. If everything went according to plan, she wouldn’t even break a sweat. “I think we’ll be just fine.” “Outside we will have the majority of our forces spread out and enact an illusion of an invading force. Make enough noise and racket to draw their forces out. If they react in small numbers, assault them swiftly and make them react in full force. Once they are reacting in large numbers, pull them back and continue to retreat along this path.” Trixie used her hand to demonstrate what she meant on the map. There was sufficient area around the fortress called a monastery to draw out the small army stationed there. “Do your best to maintain the illusion that you are a larger force than they believe. And cover up in extra clothing to make them doubt whether you are Undead or not. With the bulk of their forces drawn out we will have an easier time infiltrating them.” “Our focus should be taking their officers and leaders hostage. Defeat them and keep them at our mercy until we get control, though first we will head here and close the gates. Once their forces are out, we will keep them there.” Jerid had been assigned guard duty by the front gates of the monastery in seeming punishment for getting bruised by a child. His pride dampened by the encounter with the temperamental teenager and his wrath waiting to be called down upon something, he almost wished the Undead would attack them as he stood guard. It would give him a chance to prove himself and redeem his honor, honor that currently was besmirched by rumors within the monastery that he had been completely defeated by the young girl in the kitchens. While a falsehood, the bruise on his face did little to stop the rumors, and the healers refused to remove it because of the reason he received it. Even the hooded woman who had taken him in after his family died due to the Undead had turned him away and refused to tend to his wound, irritating him further. The arrival of his friend, a Priest from the Eastern Plaguelands, was something he was banking on improving his mood. Seeing the horse drawn cart arrive with his friend up front made him grin despite his sour mood, as it had been quite some time since he had gotten to see him. He waved to the man as the portcullis raised and allowed the cart inside, but the Priest continued to look forward and did not even turn to face him. Thinking that his friend had just not noticed his wave, Jerid chased after the cart briefly, “Hey, Dirge! Wait up!” Dirge did not in fact wait for him, and continued inside as Jerid stopped after a few steps. He was assigned to guard the front gate, and would hate to be disciplined for leaving his post. “Huh, that’s strange. Wasn’t he paying attention when I called him?” Dirge was an amiable sort, which was why they were friends ever since they joined the Scarlet Crusade and were trained together. Dirge had shown different aptitudes though and was a Priest now, while Jerid was a standard soldier. That Dirge would just ignore him made Jerid think that his friend was feeling a bit off. Perhaps he was suffering from the same illness some of the guards at the base were becoming wracked with? He couldn’t be faulted for ‘inspecting’ what came inside the base, and after a couple minutes of hesitation he decided to shirk his actual duties to try and catch up with his friend, “Something must be wrong, I’ll go see how he’s doing.” As Jerid did so he noticed that an entire platoon of Scarlet Crusaders were rushing past him to the front gate. They likely had just received some kind of order to go out, but the sudden nature of it made Jerid’s curiosity rise. Had Dirge told them about some nearby threat? It took some asking around, but it seemed that Dirge had taken some civilians to the back of the monastery to receive healing. They had helped him fight off bandits, which were about to be hunted down for daring to attack the Scarlet Crusade. An example would be made of them. Jerid ran after his friend, catching sight of him at the top of the staircase leading upwards in the monastery’s courtyard that lay in front of the monastery’s cathedral where Dirge was no doubt heading to. Behind him was a man in silver armor and green cloth, a man in black clothing who was being followed by a similar looking man in casual clothing. In front of Dirge was a woman who was helping a man in red walk, and the man’s weak appearance made Jerid correctly assume these were the people who Dirge had encountered. By the time he physically caught up with Dirge, the Priest had just entered the Cathedral and was beginning to explain the situation to those present there. As he spoke to the Priests there, Jerid could see that the woman visitor was saying something seemingly to herself, though he couldn’t hear her. “Is everyone in position?” she waited a moment before whispering again, “Okay, on my mark, which will be someone hitting the floor and some yelling on my part.” Jerid called out to his friend again and waved to him, adopting a bright smile as he received a chance to catch up with him. “Dirge!” The Priest turned around to see his friend, first smiling on instinct and then growing seemingly worried for reasons beyond Jerid’s comprehension. “Oh, hey Jerid—” Jerid was just passing by the woman when Dirge responded, and it was at that moment that Jerid found himself hurtling across the room from a powerful punch to the jaw. He collided with the left wall of the cathedral and collapsed down as Trixie then held a hand up with magic energy in her palm. “Okay everyone, on the ground! We aren’t here to hurt you, but we will fight if we have to! Surrender peacefully and drop your weapons!” She had started it with a physical hit that would draw attention instead of magic since while some yelling and a hit would draw some attention, it would not be nearly as bad as if she blew a hole in the wall or did something else drastic to draw attention. For now, she had Dirge right by her and at her mercy, while Lavitz and Karl each had gone about taking out the few guards posted there as they moved to react. The various Priests in the room all were rounded up and brought to the back of the room, so as to be out of view of anyone looking inside. Trixie shut the door to the cathedral and smiled to herself as she looked over at all the hostages they now had. Surely some of them knew where the leaders of the base currently were, if they weren’t among those already captured. She also had one of the healers start tending to Kael so that he could be a more active participant than near-zombie. As Trixie began to pace by a door in the back of the cathedral she did not pay much mind to, Lavitz smirked at the operation’s leader. Things had gone quite smoothly so far, “Not bad. Right now the others are separating the other forces garrisoned here, and with all the wild goose chases they will be on we only will have to face a fraction of what we otherwise would have.” “Am I not brilliant?” Trixie boasted and let out a laugh befitting of a noblewoman. After letting this out she turned her attention to the captive audience she had gathered. “Okay everyone, tell me where your leaders are so they can officially surrender this location to me and we can end this as smoothly as possible!” The door behind her opened, and Trixie turned around to see Grand Crusader Dathrohan emerge. “You would be referring to me.” Before he passed out, Jerid got the chance to see the woman who struck him be sent flying in quite a similar manner to how she had hit him, though instead of hitting a wall Trixie struck a pillar before collapsing down.