//------------------------------// // Raw Deals // Story: Hard Court Press // by Hillbe //------------------------------// Raw Deals Rarity rode her scaley steed down the sand dunes her army following the fashionable general to the sea. Implements of battle sounded as her mighty army entrenched itself readying for the siege to come. The generals tent was set for the planning stage of the beach side vacation as we all know an army travels on its stomach even a small one "Mom when is Dad going to start cooking lunch we're starving to death here!" Rarity mumbled into Spikes chest "It's alright Daddy's on it" her eyes snapped open realizing that it was a dream of times to come. Spikey was on it, Yes he was on the pillow on the sheets on the bed on top of her she snuggled closer feeling around his head with her hoof she found child number one clamped on his spines sawing logs she felt around some more looking for child number two. She felt around his left arm over his shoulders the small of his back his sides the pillow the sheets she grew frantic searching the whole bed at least the parts she could reach or see. Spike slept through the entire localized search Rarity was on the verge of waking her drake to help in finding the wayward tot until her ears picked up the sounds of claws pulling on sheets she looked over to where she spyed child number two, Peeking up over the edge of the bed a set of emerald eyes reflected in the moonlight. The babe crawled up the comforter slowly eyeing mommy with a gem in it's mouth and an oat meal cookie in its free claw reaching out the tot stumbled forward stuffing the cookie into the mares mouth "nom nom nom" they both cooed as the pongon rolled into a ball on its back looking up at moms surprised look and softly giggling as it suckled on the stone. The morning went swimmingly for Raritys plan for Twilight and her little sisters big date night, The morning had no crying no tantrums no disappointments the castle was quiet when Raritys family left it strolling to the boutique after the mornings chores before an easy work day at home number two. As Rarity opened the front door she heard voices in the show room, before entering she thought how nice it was that Sweetie Belles date hadn't ended in disaster and maybe it had taken a romantic turn for the better. She tried to listen for bits of words to see if her plan brought the results she was looking for, But the white noise of Ponyville drowned out any hints or clues of the nights adventures. Spike nudged Rarity through the entryway holding her as she stumbled both with her hooves and words. Sweeties vocabulary had single very unladylike words randomly pieced together as Spikes exclamation answered it as a question for a thousand bits while covering the childrens ears and eyes "Sweet Celestia Sweetie Belle What the . .". Rarity muttered little quiet eulogies for all the deadly crimes to fashion that littered the floor she looked at the dress Sweetie had on torn tattered and looking as she crawled into Sweet Apple Acres pig pins during feeding time. "My dress for Fleur De Lis?" Raritys ears drooped as tears filled her eyes "A months labor . . .Sweetie I hope you enjoyed yourself". "It's not all her fault"Another voice spoke from the kitchen "Last night sort of bombed halfway through the concert some jack wagons started a riot as for this place we started cleaning after we got back a few hours ago after we got bailed out of the stockade". Night Frost entered the room carrying a tray of icepacks aspirins and glasses of water. Sweetie spoke softly knowing the pain she caused her "I just wanted to be noticed". An ice pack replacing another on her side. "Sweetie are you hurt?" "Na it's not bad". "How big was the riot?" Spike quizzed her. "Not too big about seven hundred ponies and Button". "Button?" Rarity holding the ice pack on Sweeties side examining her for other injuries the dress issues quickly put on hold. "He took a cheep shot with Frosty before the riot". Sweeties voice became sharp as a knife "He had it coming anyway". Spike shot a sly grin at the bat winged guard "So you kicked Buttons flank survived a riot went to the stockade and got bailed out and now you're here, Ah who bailed you out?" Frost pointed at Sweetie "For one she did the kicking for two I bailed her out and the finale is we missed the main event, ah riot". Spikes intervention was cut short as Rarity stiffened up like a utility poll struck by lightning. "Ah Rares what's up?" Raritys eyes twitched as she slowly turned, her petite claws on her hooves wiggling for the babes in Spikes arm mouthing something "Tw Tw T" Spikes eyes went wide as he shuffled the twins to his dragon lady "Twilight!" Spike raced out the door in a cloud of fabric only to return as fast as he left giving Rarity a quick peck on her lips and ordering Frosty to assist the sisters in the restoration of the boutiques inventory before rebounding through the exit. The stockade was nothing special just a small jail like structure on the outskirts of town seldom used regularly excepting for Berry Punchs simi-nightly stays. Spike raced through the doors the shock of seeing ponies behind bars was not a new thing for the drake it was just so many of them all yelling and shouting at the guards some were drunk others dirty. At the desk sergeant Friday was busy filling out lists of prisoners for bail or processing Spike watched him work for a moment. As an assistant he knew how important it was to pick a pause in the flow of work for a Princess let alone a single cubical hamster in a royal guards uniform who could multitask like an octopus on a coffee bender. "Hello Spike I'm a little busy now". " Hi Friday, I'm looking for Twilight have you seen her?" "Nope all I got are a group of hooligans from out of town calling themselves black flies matter". "It's quite a mess in here can I look?" "Sure thing just don't get too close to the trouble makers, The report would be bad enough, I'd hate to explain things to your lady". "Yeah she can be a hoofful being an Element bearer and all that". "Element? Oh Pinkie's in the block she's trying to cheer up some of the lesser inmates". "Oh great she'd know who's in here". Spike beamed of hope "What cell's she in?" "Don't know right off hoof she just pops in and out Celestia knows how she does that, just listen for her laughter you can't miss it". Spike thanked Sergeant Friday exiting the office and wondering the noisy cell blocks the inmates sudden silence greeted the drake as he passed rows of cells "What's up nopony ever seen a dragon in here?" Spike spoke quietly as he looked for the pink one. Listening deeper he found the direction he needed to go as he followed his ears he saw the press in the opposite hallway looking for a story. His ears found Pinkie and Twilight talking in a nearby cell "Pinkie I just don't know how you do it going out almost every night after working full time at the Cakes, Planing your parties, But taking out a different stallion on a date each and every time and in Ponyville no less, that's statistically imposable!" Twilights voice raised "STATISTICLLY IMPOSABLE!" A chorus of hung over voices moaned "enough with the lectures please have mercy we'll never get in trouble ever again!" Pinkies voice got quiet "Twilight before I tell you my secret you have to promise not to tell anypony" seriousness fill the air "Cross your heart and hope to fly put a cupcake in my eye" Spike knew Twilight made the promise as her yelp filled his ears "Yep still has problems with her promises". Spike listened in. . . "You're right Ponyville doesn't have that many stallions in it but he's my special somebuggy I met him in Canterlot at your BBBFF s wedding his name is Doomie I hope you won't get angry but he's a changling". "A CHANGLING?" Twilight screamed "ARE YOU CRAZY?" 'You Pinkie promised. . ." Spike heard it all and so did the press Spike scribbled on a parchment and quickly dispatched it in a gout of fire "Twilight?" His ears had the truth his eyes saw a purple pegasus as he looked in the cell confused he asked in a whisper "Twilight?" "It's me Spike" "Oh a disguise I got to get you out before the pressponies get to you they'll have a field day! what name did you give the guards?" "Miss Smarty pants". "What?" "I gave no name I was too drunk to stand". "What you drunk?" Pinkie giggled "She was hammered!" "Yes Spike I did". "Where's Butters?" "Pinkie told me he's in the hospital nothing bad just a few bumps" "Pinkie what did you do to get in here?" "Nothing" She smiled a happy smile " I'm just cheering up ponies who need it". Spike face clawed and saw the pressponies closing in. Twilights magic faded to reveal her real self "See ya later". " Pinkie and a. . ." Twilight stared at Pinkie as the pink one waved bye bye to Miss not so Smartypants. Spike shot a flame covering the princess removing her from the pressing problems at hoof and looked at Pinkey with a raised brow "A changling named Doomie?" Pinkey froze in horror at the drakes question her eyes shifting right to left and back her nervous sweat pouring to the floor. "I'm cool hope he makes you happy" Spike winked with a smile. Pinkie hugged Spike in her patented squeezey grip as he thought of how she escaped her cell so quickly. "Yes he does just like you and Rarity, Happy happy happy If you need a babysitter I'm always available". "Cool". Celestias quiet soothing voice called out in the Castle Canterlot "Come along young lady we have a little talking to catch up with, tea?"