Rainbow Dash cradled a mug of cider in one hoof and rubbed her face with another.
"I'm happy for her... I am... I am..."
She lifted her bleary eyes up from the tabletop below. "I'm happy for her! I'm totally... totally happy for her!"
Lyra, Bon Bon, Vinyl, and Caramel stared back at her.
"... ... ...well..." Vinyl cleared her throat. "If that's the case... then what brings you here tonight?"
Rainbow sighed. She lifted the mug to her muzzle again. "Cuz I wanna drink until I'm happy for her."
"I'm confused," Bon Bon said, squirming in her seat. "Wasn't the whole point of the camping trip to... to sort that out?"
"Mfrnnnghhh..." Rainbow finished sipping. She wiped the foam from her chin and glared into the neon lights of the nearby window. "The whole point of the camping trip was to prove that I can still be a loyal friend."
"So what's the big friggin' problem?" Lyra droned.
Rainbow siggggggggghed. "The big friggin' elephant-in-the-room murdering problem is that I can't stop wanting to be her pony lover and her best friend!"
"Well..." Caramel smiled nervously. "Who says you c-can't be both?"
Lyra glared at him. "What, are you goddess-dayum stupid, girl?"
"Errrrr..." Ears drooping, Caramel hung his head. "Lyra's right..."
"Rainbow, don't you see what you're doing wrong?" Lyra squinted across the table. "You keep expecting everything from life. Well, news update. Life sucks. If you can't pick and choose, then maybe you gotta just learn to settle."
Rainbow grumbled into her mug. "That's the most unawesome thing I've ever heard ever..."
"Face the music, Rainbow." Lyra stifled a yawn, then gestured at herself and Vinyl. "Celestia knows we have."
"Uhm..." Caramel smiled hopefully. "Life has dresses, though."
"Yeah!" Lyra cackled, waving a hoof at Rainbow. "But Lil Miss Toilet Water over here thinks she can wear a kimono and a tutu at the same time! And that's just not how it friggin' works!"
"Keep your voice down," Bon Bon droned. "Honestly..."
"No! I'm tired of playing nice with Miss Drunk'n'Stuff!" Lyra growled at Rainbow. "Rainbow, girl, if you can't accept the fact that your favorite hayseed has been swept away by crows, then you gotta find a way to get with the program!"
"But... but..." Rainbow rolled her eyes. "He's so... averaaaaaage."
"Is that what really matters, Rainbow?" Bon Bon inquired. "Or is it what Applejack thinks of him?"
"Meh."
"So your camping trip proved that you can let her be happy," Vinyl said. "Now you gotta find a way to let yourself be happy."
"Like how?"
"Like stop obsessing all the time!" Vinyl shrugged. "Find a way to distract yourself until you're not thinking about how miserable you are twenty-four seven."
"Go on a trip!" Caramel said, eyes bright. "Vacations always make me feel good!"
"Ooooh... like a scenic trip to Dream Valley!" Bon Bon cooed.
Vinyl gestured. "Anahaym. It's not so crowded this time of year."
"How about going for a dip off the edge of the world," Lyra droned.
"Lyra!" Bon Bon hissed. "Not helping!"
"I... I dunno..." Rainbow gulped. "I was sorta hoping I could drown myself in my work."
"How's that going for you?" Caramel asked.
"Mmmmmm-not good."
"Well, how about hobbies?" Vinyl asked.
"Huh?" Rainbow looked up.
"You've got hobbies, don't you?"
"I... fly... fast...?"
Silence.
Vinyl leaned forward. "Yeah..." She squinted through her shades. "...and?"
Rainbow Dash blinked. Tonguing the inside of her muzzle, she stared around the lengths of the bar, quiet and contemplative...