//------------------------------// // The Legend Spreads // Story: The Legend of Private Apple Applefly // by R5h //------------------------------// The pre-dawn glow revealed Applejack covered in dew and her rope on the Camp Hiyassekyte tarmac, twitching in the state between bleary wakefulness and tormented slumber. A drop of water fell from her hat onto her nose and she jerked awake. “Rainbwah…?” She forced herself to her hooves and shook the dew from her coveralls and wings. The cardboard wagged as another corner of tape discreetly peeled free from the fabric. It hadn’t been quite so light, last she remembered, so clearly some time had passed. Maybe the barracks had drifted closer. She spooled the rope, trotted within range, aimed as best she could at the nearest cloud-structure, and let fly with her lasso. Unsurprisingly, it passed through the bottom inches without any effect. “Oh, ponyfeathers,” she muttered, reeling in the rope’s length. To add insult to injury, her stomach growled at her. She nearly dropped her rope when a bugle sounded high overhead, quick and sharp notes pealing over the cloudscape as Celestia’s sun crested the horizon. “What in tarnation?” In short order, dozens of ponies flew from the barracks to circle around a flagpole, split nearly even between the uniforms of the Wonderbolt candidates and regulars. One split off and flew down towards her. She quickly stashed her rope within her painted coveralls, shaking her head to banish the bleariness. “Private Applefly!” Soarin swooped in. “Up and working before reveille…. Astounding! What are you doing on the runway so early?” “Uh… stretching?” “Stretching?” Soarin parroted. “Habit, sir? Ma’amsir? Uh, and jogging. Yup, jogging. Nothing like a little jog, uh, wing jog, that is, to get the blood flowing on a cold, early morning, no, siree.” Soarin grasped her face in both hooves, ecstatic. “Private Applefly, I could kiss you!” He turned towards the assembled ponies above. “Privates, assemble an hour before sunrise tomorrow! Applefly, I like your gumption. Inspiring! Lightning Dust, Flitter, Star Screamer,” he said, flying up to direct the arriving cadets, “form up….” Applejack blinked. “Gumption?” Her expression brightened, a vapid smile expanding across her face like an inflating balloon. “I didn’t think anypony had gumption no more! Gone like neuralgia or something!” Applejack’s reflections were interrupted by Rainbow Dash, landing nearby with enough force to crater the surface of the Thundersteel-brand tarmac. Well, not really, but Rainbow liked to imagine she had: it made her feel good about herself, and she needed all the ego-boosting she could get this morning. “What is your problem, Sapperee?” The pitter-pat in Applejack’s chest seized. “What?” “First, you blow my time away in the qualifying marathon. Then you’re too high and mighty to tell me how you did it, and now… this!” “Rainbow, I—” “I barely got enough sleep as it was last night! Tomorrow we’re gonna have to get up an hour earlier just because you’re so much better than anypony else! Oh, but Dappertry doesn’t need sleep, is that how it is?” “Rainbow, please, I…. If’n you got anything to eat? I can’t fly to the kitchens or whatever it is here where y’all eat. I haven’t eaten, I haven’t slept, either…. Could ya sneak me some doof from the…” She shook her head again. “Uh, food?” “What? Whatever.” Rainbow continued to fume. “So your upstaging me wasn’t enough, huh? I’ll tell you right now, cutting into my nap times is the last straw! I’m the toughest pony in Ponyville, Snapplesy! Toughest pony in Equestria! I refuse to take second place to you!” “…Some’a…. Doofood from the kitchen? Snuggle some sleep from the sleep hall? Smuggle? Snuggle?” Applejack laughed to herself. It had been a horrible, miserable, lonesome night. Surely a hug wouldn’t do any harm. Yes, a hug seemed to her a very agreeable notion. “And some, uh, snuggles, maybe, from the… you… hall?” Finally things had registered as strange enough to put Rainbow’s diatribe on hold. She paused, blinking for an instant. “What?” Those widened eyes and slightly parted lips suggested to Applejack that, in that moment, a mere fuzzy nuzzle was far from inadequate. “Kiss me, Rainbow Dash!” She threw her forelegs around a startled Rainbow’s neck, pinning her down against the clouds. It was everything she had hoped it would be. Rainbow’s lips pushed back, soft and supple, bending like an apple bough in a tornado caught fire. On instinct, Applejack pressed her tongue forward, opening Rainbow’s lips wider to play against her teeth. She wondered if that was what it was like opening the gates to the Eternal Pasture… or maybe one of those big doors in those Daring Do novels where a boulder rolls out—really, either comparison worked just fine for her. “Ah!” Soarin exclaimed from across the tarmac, the unusual motion catching his attention. “Combat exercises! Inspired! The Prance Lip-Lock maneuver, very bold!” Rainbows reaction had, at first, been completely subconscious. She was a mare of action: if something pushed, she pushed back twice as hard. Only once the other mare started employing her tongue had any of this registered, and she decided that she liked it. Exciting. As her opponent’s eyes fluttered closed, Rainbow Dash kept hers open for one reason only: tactical advantage. As she employed her own tongue to skirmish with the invading force, Rainbow twisted under her hooves and pushed, rolling on top. They struggled, lips never parting, and the fight was on. A fight that Rainbow was determined to win. “Applefly and Rainbow,” Soarin yelled as the entangled pair rolled from the soft surface of the standard-issue megacloud to hard, Thundersteel-brand tarmac, “it is against regulations to perform combat makeouts on the runway!” Applejack pulled away, breathless. “But I ain’t yet made it to her—” “Privates!” Soarin called to the other candidates. “After you have completed your wing-ups, you are to split into pairs and practice basic grapples for ten minutes!” They laid there for a moment, panting, Applejack on her back beneath a grinning Rainbow. Finally, Applejack laughed, nuzzling hard into Rainbow’s neck. “Hey!” Rainbow said. “Watch your goggles!” “Sorry,” said Applejack, relenting not at all, “but I don’t got a mirror.” Rainbow twisted her head, pulling away with a smug grin. “So, did I win?” “Win?” “Yeah,” Rainbow said, as if it were obvious. “Did I win? I won’t let you up until you say I won.” Applejack leaned her head forward, trying to land a kiss, but Rainbow pulled out of range, smiling smugly. Applejack shifted, but she was quite effectively pinned. Well, she could escape, if she really wanted, but… “I’d say we both won. Whaddya say, sugarcube?” Rainbow seemed to consider it for a  moment. “Well…” “Private Rainbow!” Soarin called. “You and Star Screamer will be partners for this drill. Private Applefly….” He suppressed a dreamy sigh. “As you know what you’re doing, you will assist me in preparing the Dizzitron!” They shared a look. Rainbow’s expression said, ‘okay, I don’t know what all that was about, but that was cool and maybe a little confusing maybe we should try again sometime and I will totally win next time.’ Applejack’s, by contrast, said, ‘can next time be now?’ Reluctantly, Rainbow hopped off and helped Applejack to her hooves. “That was… uh….” “Yeah,” Applejack said. “Uh—” “Privates, snap to!” Rainbow Dash marched away with a quick, military gait to practice with Screamer. As Applejack watched her leave, she mentally praised whichever designer had given the Wonderbolts skin-tight uniforms. Applejack touched a hoof to her lips and felt it burn. Rainbow Dash had just kissed her. Okay, well, not really. She’d kissed Private Apple Applefly. But a thought occurred to her: maybe that was enough. Maybe, just for a little while, she could simply be Applefly for Rainbow Dash. If that’s who everyone was determined to think she was, then she could just go with it. She shook her head—what was she thinking? All that lip-locking must have made her light-headed (at least, she hoped it was the lip-locking that was doing it). Her, Applejack, former bearer of the Element of Honesty, lying to a friend? How could she look at herself in a mirror? How could she live with herself? How could she sleep at night? How could she— The sun peeked above a cloud, and a single ray of light shone down to reflect off every acre of Rainbow Dash’s brilliant ass. Oh, right. That was how she could sleep at night. And, if she played her cards right, with whom. With a renewed skip in her step, she turned round and followed Soarin, wondering what in tarnation a Dizzitron was. “Ready?” Soarin yelled. “Uh…?” Applejack said, strapped into the Dizzitron, eyeing the gearing system with a nervous eye and an even more nervous stomach. She was starting to get an inkling of how it worked and preemptively wrapped a hoof over her hat to pin it down on her head. “Actually, could I just take a—” “Trick question! Go!” Soarin pulled the lever with a mighty heave, and Applejack realized how glad she was that she’d vomited so thoroughly the previous day. The world turned to modern art in front of her, all possible reference points dissolving into reference blurs. She narrowed her eyes, gritted her teeth, pole-danced with her digestive tract, un-gritted her teeth, bulged her eyes, dry-heaved, but tried to keep her head screwed on straight regardless. If she was going to be Private Apple Applefly, then she’d have to be the best! She’d have to show this Dizzitron who was boss, not take no for an answer, laws of physics be darned! “And release!” The Dizzitron flung her straight into the standard-issue megacloud below, arresting her momentum instantly. “Zero-point-one seconds!” Soarin cheered. “No cadet has ever stabilized their flight path so quickly, or so completely! A novel approach from our very own rising star, Apple Applefly! Who’s next?” She groaned into a faceful of water vapor, and pulled herself from the cloud to stand unsteady hooves. Only to get immediately knocked back down when Rainbow Dash blasted past her with the battle cry of, “Me!” She strapped herself in, wrenched her goggles onto her face, and yelled, “Nopony upstages Rainbow Dash! Up to eleven, Sergeant!” “The machine stops at six!” “Are you questioning my authority, Sergeant?” She leered down at him as if she’d gained the ability to fire eye-beams through sheer force of will—or even I-beams. “Uh, yes! I mean, no, ma’am. Here you go!” He wrenched the lever as far as it could go and kept going. Feeling a premonition of doom, Applejack shoved her body back into the cloud as far as it would go. When Applejack came back up, the Dizzitron was… well, “broken” was the wrong word. So were “shattered”, “destroyed”, and “obliterated”. For that matter, so was “was”. The Dizzitron simply wasn’t. For years afterward, mechanical engineers would ponder its fate, deduce conclusions too eldritch to publish, and simply explain to their junior colleagues that it had been sent to a Dizzitron farm upstate, where it could run around free and play with other Dizzitrons. Soarin stared at the physical space that the machine had occupied. “Did I leave my keys in there?” “Ha!” called a voice shaky enough to register magnitude seven on any half-decent seismograph. Applejack looked round to see Rainbow Dash teetering wildly from foot to foot, in mid-air, and upside-down. “Beat that, Private Openfly!” Applejack looked down, swore, and rezipped herself. “What was my time?” Rainbow Dash tried to right herself, but with her sense of direction all askew she only succeeded in lefting herself, and landed hard on her side. “Owww—wing…” Soarin glanced at his stopwatch. “Let’s call it a tie.” “A tie? Whaddya mean, a—” Her cheeks puffed up suddenly, and her mouth slammed shut. “Whoa there, Rainbow.” Applejack rushed forward to pull her up and support her. “Just let Private Applefly help you walk it off.” To be honest, which she wasn’t right now, Applejack wasn’t too sure on her own hooves, but between the two of them she figured there was one pony’s worth of balance left. She glanced over at Rainbow’s mouth, looking less distended now as her cheeks slowly deflated. Maybe, in this tender moment, she could steal a kiss— Rainbow retched with a horrendous, back-breaking motion, spewing half-digested breakfast all over the standard-issue megacloud. Applejack decided to take a rain check. She stood, patting her friend on the back, mumbling soothing nothings. It came as a surprise when Rainbow leaned heavily into her. “That awe wassome….” Applejack chuckled. “Sure was, Rainbow. Sure was.” With the Dizzitron no longer available for training, Soarin had quickly advanced their regimen to other forms of athletic conditioning. Inspired by the pace-breaking events earlier in the morning, he had organized the cadets into heats of 400-meter sprints. The lineup had her standing between Bumble and Lightning Dust as they waited for their turn, cheering encouragement to the racers. Lightning Dust had actually disappeared for a while. Applejack didn’t follow where she had gone off to, but, as Rainbow had dismissed herself for a few moments to clean the vomit from her face earlier, it seemed to be a thing of little consequence. Besides, she was temporarily one pony closer to Rainbow Dash. She gave an airy sighed as Rainbow yawned tremendously. Those white, healthy, lickable teeth. “Applefly!” Soarin called. “Bumble! Privates, you two are next!” Applejack shook herself back from wonderland. She trotted up to the starting line, her contestant, Bumble, giving her an odd look. “Yeah?” Applejack asked, self-conscious. “Why don’t you fly? You don’t fly anywh—” She collided with the cloud-flagpole marking the start. Applefly knew how to answer the question now. “So I don’t do nothing like that. Flying’s dangerous business. Also don’t wanna become too dependent on my… uh, on my wings too much.” “That’s enough, ladies,” Soarin said, good-naturedly. “Now you know the drill. One complete lap. The other pony is to help you push yourself in the spirit of competition and stuff like that. Are you ready?” “Yes ma’am!” “Yes, ma’amsir!” “Take your marks…” Bumble splayed her limbs, staring down the track. Applejack looked dubiously at her wings and gave a little shake. The wings wobbled unconvincingly. She straightened her goggle-adorned hat and turned forward again. “Get set…” Bumble tensed, wings stretching even higher. Applejack coughed nervously. Then an idea occurred to her: she was Applefly. Applefly could win this race. Applefly could do anything. She could do anything… Dash was watching, consarn it—she could do anything! “GO!” Bumble was off like a shot, wings madly pumping. Applejack’s legs fired, driving her forward, momentum building, when her forehoof caught a tuft of cloud. She toppled head-over-hooves, faceplanting heroically into the standard-issue megacloud, skidding face-first for two body lengths. The gathered ponies gasped. She wouldn’t cry. She wouldn’t…. Wait. “Applefly!” Soarin (and Rainbow Dash, she heard) cried out. “Are you okay? What happened?” “What, uh, was my time?” she said, getting to her hooves. “What?” “Boy howdy, braking was a doozy. Don’t think I did too good, but what was my time?” Soarin gaped. “You… You mean, you completed the lap?” “Uh, ‘course I did!” Her eyes flitted side to side. “Weren’t ya’ll watching?” The suspicious glares bore down on her, straining her smile. “Unbelievable!” Soarin cried. “Flies so fast that nopony can even see her! Astounding! Three cheers for Private Applefly!” Bumble clipped the flagpole again with a sharp crack as she crossed the finish line. She plowed into the cloud deck, spewing puffs of cloud around her. “Bumble!” Applejack cried, running over. “Bumble, ya’ll okay, sugarcube?” With an expression of unmitigated embarrassment, she crawled out of her own hole and accepted Applejack’s hoof. “I’m, uh, okay,” she managed, weakly. “Here, lemme help you back to the line. That was a nasty fall you had there.” “Lightning Dust and Star Screamer, you’re—” Soarin paused, looking at the line of cadets. “Where is Private Dust? Private Lightning Dust?” They all gave each other questioning glances and no answering ones. “Well, she’ll be fit in at the end of the rotation when she gets back. Star Screamer and Rainbow Dash, then, you’re next!” Rainbow Dash had had quite enough. Even as fast as she could be, Rainbow knew that nopony could fly so fast as to complete the lap unseen. Nopony. She knew what was up; what that cheater was doing. Two could play at that game. Rainbow marched up to the starting line, completely ignoring the cheater except for the occasional caustic glance. If there was one thing Rainbow Dash knew, it was speed. If another pony would get away with cheating, Rainbow would get away with it even faster. “Are you ready?” Soarin asked. Rainbow and the mare she was supposed to be racing against voiced in the affirmative. “On your marks.” Speed. Look like speed… “Get set…” Nopony beat Rainbow Dash. “Go!” As Star Screamer took off, Rainbow laughed, jubilant. “Yes! Aww yeah! Take that!” Soarin stared, taken aback. “Rainbow, what are you doing?” “I’m done, duh! Five laps! Who’s awesome? Who’s awesome?” She held a hoof up to her ear expectantly. Soarin’s expression darkened. “Private Dash, you will complete the race or you will be disqualified.” “B-wha?” Rainbow sank a few feet in the air. “B-but….” “Do I make myself clear, Private Dash?” Rainbow shot a furious glance to whatever-her-name-was. “Fine.” Her wings erupted, tufts of cloud being whipped into whorl-shaped eddies in her wake. She passed her contestant on the second turn before streaking past the finish line. “There,” she spat. “Happy?” “Nine point nine nine seconds! Very good!” Rainbow crossed her legs, trying hard not to be too pleased with herself. “Y-yeah, well, what did you expect?” She swayed as a gust of wind blew up behind her. Instead of abating, however, it continued to grow stronger and stronger. “What is going—” She turned. The air cannons on the perimeter of Camp Hiyassekyte are massive machines, easily five times the size of a pony. Like some botanist’s fetish, pipes and knobs of all sizes coursed around its bulk, feeding one way or another to the great funnel at its front. Only by a feat of magic did the impressive bulk of such a machine deign to settle on the surface of a cloud instead of rushing hastily towards a more solid surface far below. And one of these devices was tumbling directly towards Rainbow Dash. It fell with such pondering gravity that she had difficulty processing what has happening: it simply didn’t register that such a thing could blow. “Look out!” The cheater sprinted across the clouds beneath her and leapt into the air. The world lapsed into slow motion as those green eyes narrowed beneath the goggled hat; her body twisted, tail whipping behind, bringing her coiled limbs into alignment. Then those legs shot out, striking the cannon from underneath with a terrific crack. The air cannon exploded. The pipes ruptured, fragmenting to shards. Entire components shattered into powder, vaporizing and recrystallizing as the magical fields within snapped and recombined before failing completely. The larger pieces of debris blossomed upward, the rapidly-diminishing gust of wind ferrying them safely downrange. Surrounded by a glittering powder, Rainbow gawked at the mare. Those flashing, concerned eyes, those freckles, those voluptuous hindquarters…. If she didn’t know any better, Rainbow thought she looked like… wasn’t that the craziest idea? She dove over, giddy. “That. Was. Awesome!” Rainbow tackled her, rolling her over. “That thing was just…. and then you… ka-pow! And you made it snow! I love snow!” She rolled her tongue around in her mouth, surprisingly gritty and… tasting like blood for some reason? Huh. “You…. Did you just save my life?” The mare gave a nervous chuckle. “That’s what good ‘ol dependable Apple—uh, Applefly is for, right? Being awesome and saving ponies?” Rainbow helped her to her hooves. “Uh, yeah, totally. But, y’know, for a moment there, you kinda reminded me of my friend Applejack. I mean, she can buck—like, really buck. Everypony knows about her phenomenal bucking powers.” Cheater-Kicker made a weird face. “R-really? Who woulda, uh, I mean…. D’ya think so? Not that I, ah… ‘cause that’d be…. Um, reminded in a good way, or…” Rainbow swept her up in a tight hug. “That’s for saving my life.” “R-Rainbow?” And dropped and promptly slugged her on the shoulder. “And that’s for cheating on the racetrack!” She turned away with an exaggerated huff, trotting deliberately, and totally didn’t look back one or four times at the stunned mare. “Private Dust,” Soarin said, “there you are! You’re the last heat. Everypony else, clear the field for—” he suppressed an ecstatic tingle “—the staring component of your training.” Lightning Dust was of the opinion that the confines of the newly-constructed Graf Zeppelin Überkompensation were permeated by a majorly-uncool smell, and not just because of the griffons. If pressed, with the help of a few bits, she would confide that it reeked of ethanol, lubricant, and low expectations. In fairness to herself, the latter suited her just fine. “Zu vill vait here,” one of the griffon guards said, blocking her path with his spear. For emphasis, he swung it backwards, pressing it quite unnecessarily into her chest. “Ze Luftgeneral Bekloppte must be notified before zu may enter.” “Yeah, fine, whatever.” Her tail flicked. The guard gave her a very stern look before turning to the hatch. As he passed through, Lightning made out two words from the atrociously-accented speech within: “Non-dairy.” She let out a self-satisfied chuckle. “Good to see they have their priorities straight.” Her ears perked up at the sound of other voices behind her. "Look, let's just tell him that we took it out. A Thundersteel-brand oven, you know how heavy those things are! It’s not going to go anywhere, lodged between the hydrogen envelopes. I mean, I'm not crawling in there, and you’re not crawling in there… We’ll tell Bekloppte that we got it out, patch it up, and boom." "The boom is what worries me." Two griffons rounded a corner of the hallway, engaged with each other. "They'd have to crack it open with a catapult or something for anything to happen—it'll be fine! What’s the worst—" The male griffon finally noticed that Lightning was there and cut himself off. He and his partner exchanged nervous glances between themselves and Lightning, which Lightning matched with a raised eyebrow. All three opened their mouths as once as the hatch to the bridge banged open again. “Ah, zere zu are!” Bekloppte’s greeting boomed, echoing down the metal hallway. “Vat are zu talking about over zere?" “Ah…” the female griffon started. “Ah… nozing, Luftgeneral.” “Zen get on vith zur vork! Ze traitor here ees tryving to make fraulein’s report!” “Yey, Luftgeneral!” they said in unison, snapping a crude salute and quickly scurrying back the way they had come. “And zu, fraulein,” Bekloppte said, beckoning, “come inzide. Ve haf much to discuss.” The Überkompensation’s bridge was impressive, Lightning had to admit. The enormous windows offered a fantastic view of the slopes of Mount Pinocchio. A half-dozen griffons sat at stations radiating around a central war table and command chair. The effect was ruined somewhat by the table being occupied by several large trays of cold sausages, biscuits, and slices of fruit, all arrayed on fine china plates. Were she more familiar with aeronautical technology (and to be frank, nopony was, and no griffon for that matter) she would have noted that more than half the stations on the bridge were present entirely for show. “Zo…” Bekloppte said. He settled into his command chair and puffed up his chest. “Vat do zu zink of ze Graf Zeppelin? Inspiring, non? Ze instrument of ze obliteration of Equestria, ze talon of ze skies! Ze farce to end all farces!” He occupied himself with a good, long maniacal laugh. Ah, there was the coffee mug, on the armrest. Finally, Bekloppte steadied himself and looked down on Lightning with an expression of mild scorn. “Tell me, vat ist ze status of ze Camp Hiyassekyte?” At the navigator’s station, the griffon sniggered. “Wow, I totally just got that.” “Vot vas zat?” “I, uh, haf rezived… un message vrom, ah, engineering, Luftgeneral. Ze repairs are complete.” Bekloppte pulled back from the state of ‘puffball’ to a mere ‘excessively feathery.’ “Very goot… Very goot… Zur report, fraulein?” Lightning gave an egregiously exasperated sigh and began reciting like a litany. “Two dozen ponies, half are cadets. The main captain is away on state-mandated leave and there’s a clueless oaf in her place. The regulars are on a long patrol tonight, and they aren’t expected to return until tomorrow midmorning.” “Goot, good…” Bekloppte rubbed his claws together, a wicked, twisting smile on his beak. “And ov ze oser devenzes?” “I’ve unmoored the defensive air cannons and made sure the manual weapons are unusable.” “Unmoored? Iz zat qvite enough?” Lightning’s expression hardened. “That depends, I guess. Do we have a deal? When this is over, you don’t hurt anypony you don’t have to. I run the Wonderbolts with an iron hoof. Did you sign the contract?” Bekloppte waved a claw dismissively. “Yez, yez. It is on ze map. Now, ze air cannons!” Lightning shifted the cold-cut tray to find a slip of paper underneath, a flamboyant signature occupying the entire lower half. “And you’ll keep your word?” “A griffon’s vord iz un bond! Yez! Ze air cannons!” “Okay, fine, yes, already! Yes! If you must know, I blew one down myself just to be sure! It… uh, broke in the fall, too.” Bekloppte eyed her for a long moment, the ‘evil eye’ coming across more as a faulty wink. Satisfied, a laugh began deep in his throat. It started small, but quickly erupted into great, raucous, rot-smelling peals. The china plates tittered as they were shaken about. Lightning rolled her eyes, sharing a glance with the other griffons in the room. “Zen it is decided,” Bekloppte finally managed. “Ze target iz at eetz mozt vulnerable. Yez?” Lightning shrugged. “I guess. I mean, the best cadet there is an earth pony and nopony else seems to have noticed.” “Vundervul! Veaponsgriffon, zee to eet zat ze cannons are ready bevore zunrize.” “The…” The griffon turned bewildered to Bekloppte. “Ah, ze vat, Luftgeneral?” “Ve attack at dawn! Zis mazhine of dezstruction zhall vipe out all een eez path! Zuch virepower as ze vorld haz never zeen bevore! And I, Erste Luftgeneral Unverhohlen Bekloppte, zhall rule ze vorld! “Ve attack at dawn!” The cadets had been dismissed, the flag had been lowered, and the first of the stars were beginning to twinkle overhead. Far beneath them, cities twinkled in response, safe havens against the oncoming tide of night (barring the occasional mugging). Not that Rainbow cared about any of that. “So then, he says, ‘iff’n you wanna bushel of apples, you gotta pay for em’!” Rainbow gave a polite chuckle as they trotted along, the cheater continuing to regale her with stories of her rustic, surprisingly agrarian background. Some of them seemed terribly familiar, but that wasn’t possible. Hooves thudded against the standard-issue megacloud, retracing a circuit for the umpteenth time. Rainbow had to give her some credit: the cheater knew discipline. On and on they cantered, never relenting—Rainbow wouldn’t be the first to quit if she could help it. She was an athlete, and the fire in her limbs was a familiar one. Totally not a sign that she could tumble on her own hooves at any second, not at all. She wasn’t thirsty, she wasn’t exhausted, and she certainly wasn’t hungry enough to eat a horse. She spared a glance over to her competitor, who returned it with a grin, tired but pleasant. Far, far too pleasant. She couldn’t take it any more. Spreading her wings, Rainbow darted ahead of her, blocking her path. “Okay, Cletusy, what is your problem!” The mare skittered to a halt, shocked, wings bobbling. “Wha—Rainbow? What’s the matter?” “You!” Rainbow barked. “You are my problem! You’ve been my problem all day! You get Soarin to make us get up an hour earlier, then you start sucking my lips off! Then there was the Dizzitron, and the ‘fastest draw in the West’ routine, and then you blow up that big tubey-gun thing, and… Gah! All day, you’ve been frustrating and awesome! And now, instead of eating, or sleeping, like any normal mare, you’re just trotting in circles!” The mare shrunk slightly. “I, uh, thought I was tellin’ stories.” “I’m starving! I’m exhausted! How are you still going?” She prodded the mare in the ribs, who flinched. “You’re… You’re still here because you think I’m still trying to one-up you?” Rainbow maintained her flat glower, and the mare continued. “Shoot… Rainbow, I’m sorry. I just thought you liked listening. Didn’t you?” “W-well, maybe. A little. But I’m hungry!” She sat on her haunches, abashed. “Go’n eat, Rainbow. Don’t… Don’t let me keep you up. It’s not fun if you aren’t having no fun.” “Oh, no.” Rainbow said, drawing it out. “I’ll go when you go. I won’t lose—not this time!” The mare stamped her hoof. “Consarn it, Rainbow! It ain’t that I won’t go, I can’t!” She pointed to her wings. “These things are cardboard, R.D.! I can’t fly any more’n you can breathe underwater!” “A likely story!” “Rainbow, please, it’s the honest truth!” Rainbow turned and screamed. “You’re so… dumb! So you’re saying that if I carried you up to the barracks, you’d give it a rest?” Her eyes widened. “Uh, yeah. I would.” Her stomach growled. “I really, really would.” “Well, fine! Okay then. I guess I’ll do that.” Rainbow didn’t move. “Uh, so—” “Right, yes, I’ll carry you!” She looked around, looking for any peeping pegasi. “Just don’t touch my hooves, got it?” With a knowing smile, Applejack said, “I promise.” Rainbow triple-checked the surrounding area, dragging a hoof in the cloud. Finally steeling herself, she flew up behind the other mare and wrapped her arms around her chest, and lifted. The hat, she decided, was something of a problem. It pressed up uncomfortably against her chin. The goggle strap wasn’t helping anything either, as a loose end itched. Those primary detractors aside, however…. She liked the warmth folded against her chest. The strain on her arms was exhilarating, and the display of her wingpower was almost enough to make her giddy. “You okay there, sugar—” “No talking right now!” Rainbow had quite forgotten which room belonged to whom—she vaguely recognized the building in the moonlight, however, and angled to where she thought she had spent the previous night. She settled the other mare on the cloud, indicated a quiet gesture with her hoof, and gently cracked the door. Unoccupied, much to her relief. “Phew.” She nodded to her guest, and entered. The interior was spare and sparsely lit. A lightning bug lantern sat in a corner shelf, but much of the room’s illumination was a cool blue light that radiated from every surface. There was a bed and a small bedstand pressed against the wall. “Uh, thanks, Rainbow.” Rainbow wrenched open the drawer to the bedstand, digging for some emergency rations. She was rewarded with small bricks of a supposedly-edible substance. “Uh… Can I eat this?” Rainbow asked. The other mare pounced on the outstretched hoof like a cat upon an unsuspecting grasshopper. “Hardtack!” She bit down with a horrible crunching sound and chewed. Rainbow looked down at her own block of ‘heartattack’ or whatever, and finally decided that if it was good enough for the cheater, it was good enough for her. She bit down on the thing, her teeth seizing against it like rock. “Nngh!” The mare chuckled. “Don’t worry none. Earth pony jaws. You might need to let it soak for a bit.” Rainbow glowered first at the mare, then at her brick, then back at the other mare. “Actually, I’m not that hungry.” “What? But just a moment ago—” “What I’m hungry for is answers! How are you getting away with being a cheater, huh? Why are your wings so…” She shuddered. “Whatever you call that!” The mare swiped the brick from Rainbow’s hooves and crammed it into her mouth. “Hey!” “Thowvy…” Swallowed. “Sorry.” She sank onto her haunches, head bowing. “I… I’ve kept trying to tell you, Rainbow. I’m not a pegasus. None of this is real.” She poked at her cardboard wings. “I’m not ‘Applefly’. I don’t know what’s gotten into Soarin’s or anypony else’s head that I’m so great at anything here. Dunno if it’s just cuz I haven’t slept since two days ago, but maybe there’s something about this place that messes with everypony’s head.” Rainbow growled. “Augh! Why does everything that comes out of your mouth make me want to believe you!” With genuine concern, “Rainbow, are you okay?” “Tell me how you do it!” Rainbow dove forward, clutching the mare’s head between her hooves and shook. From atop her head the strap of the chemistry goggles finally surrendered, slipping from the clasp. The goggles tumbled free, glacially spilling down the mare’s withers to roll onto the cloud floor. Rainbow pulled back with a terrible gasp, as if having seen a ghost. She looked up at the hat, then down at Applejack, then up at the hat again, then down at the goggles, then once more at the hat. Finally, she remembered how to operate a jaw. “Apple Bloom!?” She stopped almost before she’d reached the end of the word, pouted a bit, and rubbed her forehead. “No, wait, the other one….” “Applejack?” Applejack offered. “Applejack!?” “Yes!” Applejack dove forward with the biggest hug she’d ever given. “Finally!” “You’re a pegasus?” “Yes! I mean, no! I—” She sighed and decided to quit while she was ahead. “Yeah, I guess. For you.” Applejack buried her muzzle in Rainbow’s mane and sighed again. “But I…” Rainbow sputtered, pushing her to hoof’s length. “That means… You… Huh?” “I came up here for you, Rainbow. I never wanted to get involved in whatever it was going on up here. Didn’t think too much about any of it, really. I didn’t mean to cause you any problems, R.D.” Rainbow stared at her blankly. “Uh, nod if you’re still in there, R.D.” She did, slightly. “Right. Um. Well, it’s still me, Rainbow. I just… I realized that with the Wonderbolts and all, you might be going away. I didn’t think about it at the time, but, I think that’s why I’m here now. I don’t wanna lose you, y’know?” Rainbow nodded again, vacantly, her left eyebrow slowly, steadily rising. “And, um, it’s been… fun. Yeah, fun, I guess. Crazy, frustrating, sometimes right scary, but that’s what we’ve always done, isn’t it? Saving Equestria, trying to show each other up, and stepping on each other’s tails while doing it? I… I wanna keep that.” Rainbow continued to nod. By now her left wing had gotten into the rising action and her body had begun to tip. “Do you, maybe, feel the same way? I mean, I know we kissed out there on the runway—which was really, surprisingly, amazingly amazing, y’hear—but, I dunno, did you… would you want to again, with me?” Rainbow, nearly askew, blinked. “Kissu?” Applejack stomped. “Like this, Rainbow.” And pressed forward. There was a reprise of the Battle of the Gates. Hooves shifted, bodies leaned, tongues fenced until both armies forced a tactical withdrawal. Applejack chuckled at Rainbow’s wings, spread to full mast. “Somepony likes?” Rainbow glanced back at her wings and blushed, embarrassed. “I—well, maybe!” “It’s ain’t a competition, Rainbow. I… uh, I like it, too. I like you. But, I guess what I gotta know is….” “Yeah?” “Do you like me? I mean, like me like that? Only me?” Rainbow laughed. Applejack shrunk until a pair of blue hooves wrapped around her. “Are you joking? You’re totally awesome! I mean, not as awesome as me, but it’s a really small margin! Of course I like you!” She tried for another kiss, but Applejack pulled away. “Huh?” “I, uh, I only want you, Rainbow. Do you…. I mean, if Soarin… or Spitfire, or anypony else, I guess, well…. I just gotta know, is it only me?” “Hey, Apple Vinegar—” “Applejack.” “—Right, you’re totally awesome. Everything we’ve done together has been awesome, even if you do make me mad sometimes. I don’t care if there were a dozen Soarins or Spitfires or Twilights or Zecoras, none of them would stand a chance against you!” “Then, uh, even if you become a Wonderbolt, you’d still… you’d still stay with me?” Rainbow spat into her hoof and offered it. “You know it.” Applejack spat into her own hoof and bumped. “Love you, R.D.” “Totally. Now—” Rainbow gave a tremendous yawn, “—how about we hit the hay? Didn’t Soarin say something about, like, getting up at some crazy-stupid hour?” She turned, and made a face at the bed. “Great. I think this is Fleetfloot’s cot.” She groaned. “I flew us to the wrong room…. What are you doing?” Applejack turned from hitching her rope to the legs of the very solid-looking bedstand. “What, you thought you and I were gonna just sleep after that? And just so we’re clear, I call top.” “But it’s not a bunk bed….” Applejack winked.