//------------------------------// // Prologue: Yet another meeting of friends. // Story: New Ponies in New Places // by Paradox Theory //------------------------------// Hello everyone! I'm Jeffery Cobalt. Call me Jeff. Right now, I'm using an ice pick on a public skating rink in Portland, Oregon. Now, you are probably wondering why. Well, because I have six girls behind me that need to get home. Which happens to be through a portal under the ice skating rink. Now, I wouldn't mind any of this, if I didn't have people firing at each other and mall patrons running back and forth. So, I suppose I should start at the beginning, a few weeks ago when me and my childhood friend had one of our annual meetings. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Paradox Theory presents. . . . . New Ponies in New Places. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ I found myself standing in one of my childhood hovels. The Lloyd Center, a three story mall in Portland, Oregon. As per the usual, I took the escalators to the top floor, where the arcade, food court, and theater were located. It didn't take me long to find my friend, Freddie Hellingson, sitting in his usual spot. Every few months, we'd meet to talk about what's occurred in our lives. Things we've watched (we both love Doctor Who), possible love interests, and even some minor things. You wonder why we would travel to a crowded mall to talk about this stuff, it's because this very mall is where I met Freddie, and it's where we later made an oath to always be friends no matter what. As I approached his table, I noticed his eyes weren't searching for me, but instead glued to a group of girls that I admit were pretty gorgeous. (Just don't tell Fred.) "So, scouting out a new victim?" I joked as I sat at his table. "Jeff!" Freddie cheered, "Nice to see you, my man!" "Great to see you too." I replied, "So, those girls, which one are you pining for?" I asked, now studying the girls myself. There were six of them, each had a unique hair color and style. One had curly pink hair, another was rainbow colored, one wore a cowboy hat over their natural blonde. I noticed that most of them, aside from the one with the curly pink hair, looked worried. "Man, those cosplayers are so hot." My friend breathed. I slowly turned to him and grabbed his collar, "Cosplayers?" I asked slowly. "Yeah, they look a lot like characters from a show I watched." Freddie replied, struggling to remove himself from my grip. I narrowed my eyes. "Tell me the show, now." "Dude, chill, it's no biggie." Freddie replied. I looked over to the girls, then back to my friend. "Okay, you win, don't tell me. Now if you excuse me, I'm gonna go tell those girls you wanna pork them." With that, I started walking towards them. So, that's what I did. "Hey girls." I said, "How are all of you?" "Fine." One with dark purple, pink striped hair replied. "Just wanted to let you know that my friend wants pork you." I told them. "Excuse me?!" the one with dark indigo hair asked, baffled. "What?!" "Well, pork means 'Horizontal Tango, Monster Mash, Hiding the Cucumber, the Down and Dirty, and finally, to be blunt Sex." I explained. Then the one with long pink hair fainted. "Uh, oops?" I chuckled. "You sir are uncouth." The indigo haired one berated me. "Uh, no." I stated, wagging my finger, "I am BLUNT! DIFFERENCE!" Suddenly, my friend Freddie was there covering my mouth. "I'm so sorry for my friend's bluntness. We'll be going now." I removed my friend's hand from my face. "But, here's your chance bro! Some pegasisters, right? C'mon, bang em!" I was then abruptly smacked be the indigo girl. "I deserved that, but it was worth it." I gave the girl a solemn nod. "My word." She breathed. Freddie face palmed. "Well, now you know my idiot of a friend, and I'm Freddie, who are all of you?" "I'm Twilight, and these are my friends," Said the purple haired girl, "Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Applejack, Pinkie Pie and the one who slapped your friend is Rarity." "Thanks for that." I chuckled. Rarity just glared at me. Freddie chuckled a little before saying, "In all seriousness though, who are you really?" "We just told you!" Rainbow huffed. Freddie glanced at me, and I at them. "One sec, I'm gonna call the loony bin down the street, I'm sure there's room." Rarity slapped me again. "Okay, once was okay, but the second one? Uncalled for!" I huffed. "Uncalled for? UNCALLED FOR? YOU LITERALY CALLED US CRAZY!" Rarity yelled. "Implying you aren't." I said in monotone. I grew to regret it instantly as Rainbow punched me in the face. I held my nose as I felt a little blood come out of it. "Okay fine, I'll shut up!" I surrendered. Freddie shook his head before looking at the girls, "He has a point though, what you're saying is unbelievable." I chuckled, "Unless a talking dog says you're legit, I won't believe a thing." "Hey Twilight, we find a place to crash yet?" A talking dog suddenly asks. I gave the dog one look before passing the fuck out.