2 Bits Short of a Full House

by Chaotic Ink


S2, Ch.6.5

"So," Vinyl asked as she shuffled the deck, "never got to ask; how was the vacation you two?"

"It was nice," Sapphire said, catching the card the DJ slid her way with a wing. "Saw some sights, met some new ponies, tried new foods; the usual tourist things."

Next to her, Midnight grumbled, catching her cards and looking at them with only a mild interest.

"Can't have been that nice with Miss Doom and Gloom over there," Vinyl noted.

Everypony else looked at the kirin.

"The vacation was fine," she finally grumbled out, "it's what's been going on since we came back that's bothering me."

"You mean that whole cider race and Mare-Do-Well thing?" Berry asked.

'And Rainbow's way of choosing a pet,' "Yeah, pretty much. It's like folks got hit with stupid sticks. Raise one."

"I don't think it was that bad... see." Derpy said, hocking a bit into the pot.

"The Apple needlessly bet their farm on a stupid race and Twilight, Rarity, AJ, and Pinkie screw up a lesson about humility and since then Rainbow's been threatening to go back to Cloudsdale! Thank Faust Fluttershy has been lending a sympathetic ear."

"Well, you did throw yourself into that race without asking anypony, and I don't see why the second is any skin off your muzzle. Discard 2, take three," Lyra said.

'Please, let something happen so I don't have to keep the guard secret for much longer,' "I threw into that cider-making contest because Sweet Apple Acres is the whole reason Ponyville exists, so I guess I was afraid if it was gone, Ponyville would go with it. And I'm pissed at that lot for Mare-Do-Well because it was poorly thought out and might have broken the Element Bearers apart!" Midnight snapped her mouth shut. 'Oh, crap, I think I just let something slip.'

But, while it looked like light bulbs were indeed going on over the other's heads, they'd come to a different conclusion than she expected.

"Yeah, actually, that's pretty important," Berry said. "I mean, it's because they're the Element Bearers that we aren't being ruled by Nightmare Moon or Discord right now."

"And don't they all need to be connected and friends for them to work?" Derpy asked. "If Rainbow stopped being their friend and moved back to Cloudsdale... that is bad!"

"But still, why're you making a big deal about it? Why not let the princess know the "bad guys be good" trinkets are having issues?" Lyra asked.

Midnight sighed. "Let's just say ever since the incident with Discord, I've sort of made keeping the Elements and their bearers safe my problem. The last thing we need is for some eldritch abomination tearing Equestria apart because a few ponies decided to get their tails in a twist over something that wasn't even their problem to begin with."

"Well, how'd they go wrong teaching Rainbow not ta brag so much?" Vinyl asked. "Haven't heard her singing her self-praises lately."

"Alright. So, we all know Rainbow can be full of herself most of the time, but let's tick off why she apparently got a bigger head than usual this time," Midnight said. "First, Scootaloo somehow got a lot of the other foals to make a Rainbow Dash fan club, then Rainbow saves a filly who fell down a well, and then saves an infant from falling off a cliff, a cliff that should really get a fence around it." She'd be sure to talk with Mayor Mare about it. "Other than the fan club, I don't think it was her making the bigger-than-usual noise, but folks around town. So she likes the attention; who wouldn't, honestly? Vinyl, if ponies were saying you were the best DJ around, are you really saying you wouldn't preen, even just a little? Or Berry, what if they said you were the best liquor sales mare this side of Canterlot? Or if Derpy was the best mailmare? If folks were praising any of us, we'd like it and want it to continue."

"Except you," Lyra pointed out. "You were in the paper with the bearers and didn't make any noise about it."

"Of course I did; I just built myself up for Squeaks and only Squeaks."

"It's true," Sapphire said. "It was her favorite bed-time story for a week, and it got more embellished each time."

"The point being that Rainbow was soaking up the limelight and her friends got jealous and decided to take her down a peg."

"Jealous?" Berry asked. "They didn't seem like that to me."

"One of your friends is being praised for something she did and you feel she needs to be taken down a peg? Yeah, that's not a sign of jealousy," Midnight snorted. "But, let's continue with the whole "she needs to learn to be humble" thing for now. The best thing they could have done was to do what they did as themselves and taken whatever praise they got gracefully. Instead, they dress up in costume, then congratulate each other afterwards out of costume and in front of Rainbow."

"Well, Rainbow was getting a bit full of herself," Derpy said.

"Never said she wasn't but that still doesn't excuse what they did," Midnight told her. "And, oh yes, a humble hero would never show up at their own ticker tape parade! Yeah, great example in humility there. Look, the bottom line with all this is that by putting the costumes on and not telling Dash about it sent the wrong message. Instead of "you need to learn to be more humble" it became "you're not that special because we can do the same things so get over yourself". Rainbow thought the whole time that somepony was just out to steal her thunder because she didn't know who was up-staging her. Had she known it was her friends, then the lesson might actually have sunk in. Do you know what happened after they showed it was them the whole time? She flew off saying they were terrible friends and that she didn't want to see them again! That is exactly what I told them would happen but they didn't want to listen."

"So, then why are they are speaking terms now, then?" Derpy asked.

"Fluttershy. Turns out those four tried to get her in on the act too, but she refused. It was only after the whole thing blew up that she told us why she dug her hooves in. Don't you guys find it strange that Dash doing the sonic rain-boom as a filly never made her famous? That nopony else even believed it was possible?"

The rest of them thought for a second, then shook their heads.

"Because after she did it, a few "notable" scholars came around to check it out. They, in their learned opinions, came to the conclusion that it had somehow been staged; a hoax. That somehow Rainbow Dash faked the whole thing. As soon as that came out, everypony turned their backs on her and shunned her, saying she'd done it all just for the attention and praise. The only friend that stayed by her side was Fluttershy. It haunted her all the way through flight school until she dropped out and moved to Ponyville to get away from all the heckling. Anypony else seeing a pattern?"

The rest of them nodded sadly.

"Guess they all felt pretty terrible when they heard that," Berry said.

Midnight nodded. "It took a lot of coaxing from both Fluttershy, Windrunner, and myself, but we finally got her to talk with them for a few minutes. Things aren't as they were before, but I don't think we'll have to worry about Rainbow leaving everyone. Who knows, maybe a few pranks on Nightmare Night will help her forgive and forget. Anyway, that's why I'm still a bit ticked off, because I don't know how badly they'll get hit with the stupid stick next time."

"Meh, just hit them with a real stick next time," Vinyl said. "It's like that one noble dude said once: party hard and carry a big stick."

"I... don't think that's how it's said, Vinyl," Sapphire said.

"Whatev's. Pair o' jacks!"

"Three tens," Midnight said.

"I got a full house!" Derpy said.

The cards were collected, bits served out, and the next hoof was dealt.