Chapter 6
Insert Pig Pun Here
"Everyone! I have terrible news!" Dave shouted as he stormed into the dining hall, where more people were seen eating mutton joints. The first to acknowledge Dave's news with shock was a short and dark-skinned wizard with a large beard, wearing a purple robe and hat.
"What is it, Dave? Please tell me they didn't stop selling my precious nut logs in the market!" The wizard said in panic as he held his hands over his hat.
"Uncle Oswidge, you know that doesn't warrant any panic at all." A teenaged girl wearing a royal crown and a pink dress with short purple overcoat over it rose from the table with a roll of her eyes before looking down pensively, stroking her chin "Now, if the market itself stopped selling everything, including that new expensive dress that I want to wear for the upcoming festival this weekend, then we have every reason to panic."
"It's always dresses with you, Candy!" A dark-skinned girl with a simple orange dress and a bone through her hair complained with her bushed eyebrows furrowed "Knowing that it's Dave giving the news, it's probably not even an emergency worth mentioning."
"But it is an emergency! One that involves..." Dave looked serious for a moment "the dark lord Chuckles the Silly Piggy." The little girl perked up before hopping onto her chair with a predatory grin.
"Now we're talking! Are we gonna stomp that little piggy into bacon bits again?" She asked with giddy anticipation.
"Oh, Fang. Always the enthusiastic barbarian." Oswidge chuckled amiably at her spirit before looking at Dave "So what's he plotting this time?" The large barbarian reread his parchment.
"It says he's amassing an army, and that he's inviting us to try and stop him at his lair." He then showed the contents to his family while pointing at the bottom part with his finger "It also says he wants us to wait a little if he's not there yet."
"Ha! Fat chance! I wanna go over there now and see what Pork Breath's packing." Fang said as she caught her right fist with her left hand. A small yellow dragon gurgled above the family, having all of them look up at his absentminded expression.
"See? Faffy wants to go!" Fang said persuasively.
"Well, we are dealing with an army that threatens the safety of Udrogoth." Dave said thoughtfully before smiling "Okay, but we really gotta wait if Chuckles isn't at his lair when we arrive. It's best to be polite, right?" The collective groans from his family went over his head.
_____
Meanwhile, Chuckles was in the midst of a questionnaire courtesy of a curious Applejack, with Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy merely observing out of mutual interest of his origins. He entertained their inquisitive nature by telling a tall tale that was sure to draw away any possible suspicions.
"And that's the story of my life before coming here." Chuckles said with a content smile, his arms crossed. The ponies stood, stupified by his supposed story.
"...But ya didn't say anything!" Applejack exclaimed incredulously.
"I didn't?" Chuckles asked.
"Yeah." Pinkie piped up "All you said was 'And that's the story of my life'. That wasn't a story at all; not even a short one!" She frowned with mild displeasure.
"Oh, then in that case, let me take it from the top." Chuckles said reassuringly before clearing his throat "It all started in Baltimare when I decided 'Hey, maybe I should look for a change of venue. This place seems nice', so I decided to move here in Ponyville with the rest of you." He finished with a smile. Applejack was unamused.
"That wasn't even a step above yer first attempt." She said in deadpan.
"Well, if I left anything out, it was because there weren't many jobs suitable for pigs like me!" Chuckles shot back before directing his hooves at himself "Look at me! You think ponies everywhere can be accepting of little pigs like myself?" Applejack stared before rubbing her chin with a hoof, her features softening.
"Wow. When ya put it like that, it really does make sense." She then looked penitent "Ah'm mighty sorry t' hear about yer predicament, Chuckles. Maybe there'll be some work fer ya here in Ponyville."
"I could always use some help around my cottage." Fluttershy offered "I'm sure the other animals there would love your company." She added warmly.
"Erm, I'll think about it." Chuckles said tersely, inwardly relieved that the ponies at least bought his story. He looked at his arm with widened eyes "Oh, gee, would you look at the time! We gotta finish our little tour and find a place for me to sleep!"
"Maybe Twilight will have a guest room for you in her castle." Pinkie said in a chipper tone, oblivious to Chuckles flinching.
"In that case, Ah won't keep ya." Applejack said with a tip of her hat "Feel free t' stop by Sweet Apple Acres more often, sugarcube. Ah could show ya some Apple family hospitality next time 'round!"
"Oh sure! much obliged!" Chuckles said with a wave after he hopped onto Pinkie's back, leaving with her and Fluttershy. He blinked with a befuddled expression "Sugarcube?"
"That's just a nickname Applejack uses sometimes." Fluttershy giggled "She's very nice and a hard-working pony."
"The most dependable pony!" Pinkie grinned.
"Ooooh, I like a dependable pony~!" Chuckles said halfheartedly, tenting his hooves together. If what they were saying were true, he could use Applejack for some arduous tasks and not just for fighting purposes when he controls all of Ponyville.
_____
Some time later in the day, Pinkie and Fluttershy had finally finished their tour for Chuckles and decidedly went to Twilight to see if she was willing to take in the little pig before he was able to find a home for himself. They were in the conference room with the many thrones inside and what appeared to be the bottom of an old tree at the ceiling.
"Of course!" Twilight chirped "I'd be happy to take in a new and future resident of Ponyville into my castle for the time being." She looked over at Chuckles "How are you enjoying Ponyville so far, Chuckles?"
"Who me? Oh, yeah it's...good?" Chuckles raised an eyebrow when he tried searching for the right word. Twilight cocked her head to the side.
"You seem hesitant. Is something wrong?" She asked, to which Chuckles held up his hooves in a placating gesture.
"Sorry, sorry. I'm just trying to adjust to my surroundings some more. I just need some time is all." Chuckles said before smiling "It really is quite nice." Twilight returned the smile herself.
"Good to hear! And please, make yourself at home."
"Oh, I intend to..." Chuckles said under his breath deviously.
"What?"
"Nothing!"
"Well, in that case, I think I'm gonna spend some time with the girls. Spike can show you to your room while I'm away." She looked around her room before she called out "Spike!" Chuckles gritted his teeth as he held his ears.
"You realize I'm standing right in front of you, right?" The dark lord said bitterly. Twilight grinned sheepishly as her ears folded back. Meanwhile, the doors to the conference room opened to reveal the purple dragon from before.
"What's up, Twilight? Need anything?" Spike asked. he then noticed Chuckles and waved with a smile "Hey, Chuckles."
"Spike, I'm gonna be out with Pinkie and Fluttershy. Can you lead Chuckles to one of our guest rooms?" Twilight requested politely before winking. Spike perked up before he smiled and nodded
"Sure thing! Have fun." He replied as the three mares exited the castle. He then gestured for Chuckles to follow him.
"Don't worry, I'll give you one of the rooms that are easier to find here." The purple dragon looked up at the ceiling "Before I got used to it, this castle was like a maze to me."
"Tell me about it..." Chuckles muttered bitterly.
"Huh?"
"Tell me about it. How hard it was. Because I'm inclined to believe you." Chuckles recovered hastily with a poker face.
"Oh, okay! Well, it all started with this guy named Lord Tirek..."
'This is gonna be a loooong day...' Chuckles thought to himself with a deep frown as he followed Spike to his new quarters.
End of Chapter 6