Chandra was stretched out on the guest bed, snoozing contentedly, when-
“Hey.” Somepony poked her.
Chandra groaned and rolled over. If she’d been awake enough to form a complete thought, it would’ve been, Leave me alone. I’m sleeping.
“Hey.” Poke poke. “It’s time to get up.” Phalanx? Probably.
“Mmffll,” mumbled Chandra.
“Oh, come on. Really?” Poke poke. “You’re doing that?”
“Mmff-mmff.”
“I’ve already done a circuit of the town.”
“Mmm’f mfff.”
“Twice.”
“Mm m’mf mrr.”
“And if you don’t get up now, Kalahari’ll finish all the pancakes.”
Pancakes? Chandra’s ears shot straight up like rockets and she managed to push her head off the pillow. She blinked blearily.
“You won’t even get to try any of the apple syrup,” continued Phalanx. “Which is a bit odd, but good.”
“‘M up,” muttered Chandra as she flopped out of bed. She pushed herself to her hooves and yawned widely. “I’m up.”
Phalanx raised an eyebrow as he watched Chandra lurch down the stairs. “Ostensibly.”
Chandra could smell the pancakes long before she reached the dining room. Right before the dining room, she heard the distinct om-nom-noming of someone chowing down on said pancakes. She stumbled into the dining room to see Kalahari muzzle-deep in a large platter of pancakes saturated with syrup. Ida was at the stove, pouring some batter into a pan. Through one of the windows, the sun was already above the horizon, although the sky wasn’t blue just yet.
Ida turned when she heard Chandra’s hooves on the floor. “Tandva!” she said around the measuring cup in her mouth. “Yuh’h uff.” She set the cup down on the counter. “We’re almost out of pancakes, thanks to your friend here.” She nodded towards Kalahari.
Kalahari pulled her head out of the pancakes, syrup dripping down her nose. After a few seconds of chewing, she swallowed and said, “Hey, it’s been too long since I’ve had homemade pancakes. I’m going to take all that I can get.” She went right back to it.
“Uh-huh,” said Chandra. She got a closer look at Kalahari’s plate. “You’ve got more syrup than you do pancakes.”
Kalahari froze mid-chew. She swallowed guiltily, her ears folded back, and muttered, “I… I like syrup…”
“Hey, just an observation.”
“Speaking of…” Ida slid a plate with a steaming-hot pancake in front of Chandra. “Maple syrup or apple?”
Chandra mulled it over for a moment. “I’ll try the apple syrup.”
Ida dropped the bottle next to the plate. “Hope you like it. It’s my own recipe.”
“Weawwy?” Kalahari asked through another mouthful of pancake. “Wha ma’ ‘oo twy ‘o ma’ i’?”
Somehow, Ida managed to decipher the garble. “Few years ago, I said to myself, ‘Ida,’ I said, ‘workin’ the farm’s all fine and dandy, but you need to leave your mark somehow,’ I said. ‘But how?’ I asked myself. ‘Why not make something?’ I responded. Well, I figured, you can make syrup from maple trees, why not apple trees?”
Kalahari swallowed. “Because apple trees don’t store their starch like that,” she said. “See, in maple trees, for win-”
“Shush,” said Chandra, about to get started on her pancakes. “Let her talk.”
“Well, yeah, something like that,” said Ida, a bit put-out at being preempted. “After that didn’t work, I was ready to toss that idea, ‘til I said, ‘Ida,’ I said, ‘you ain’t givin’ up because one measly try didn’t work out,’ I said. ‘Try somethin’ else.’ So I started with applesauce instead, and…” She shrugged. “…long story short, it worked. Ain’t perfect just yet, but I’m still working on it.”
Chandra, meanwhile, was digging in. The apple syrup was a bit runny, but still good. It tasted a bit like apple cider. The combination it made with pancakes was one of those things that was better in practice than on paper, like pizza and pineapple. “Well, if you get it right-” Nom. “-I’d certainly buy it. It’s good.”
“Thanks.”
A set of saddlebags suddenly came sailing down the staircase and landed on the floor with a whump. A few seconds later, another set followed them. And another. Phalanx followed shortly thereafter, carrying the last set. “Got everything,” he said. “We can leave as soon as you’re done down here.”
“Ahmost,” said Chandra around a smaller-than-usual amount of pancakes. She swallowed. “So, Ida, have you ever been to the Crystal Empire for fun before?”
Ida shook her head. “Never really had the time. Can get busy ‘round the farm, and I’m almost always needed. But never all that interested, either; I already know I’m goin’ to stay here when I grow up. Still, I won’t deny that I’m excited. Any of you ever been there?”
No one had. “It’s beautiful,” said Ida. “You just can’t get tired of lookin’ at it.”
“We’re not going to have much time for looking,” said Phalanx. “This is important; we need to find that witness ASAP. We won’t be able to do much more than a short walk.”
“If you’d ever been there, you’d know that a short walk’s enough.”
“I mean a short short walk, not something like-”
Chandra swallowed the last of her pancake and interrupted. “Just finished, so we can get going once you two finish arguing about our travel itinerary.”
Both Phalanx and Ida looked at her and snorted.
It was pretty coming up, but Phalanx couldn’t deny that by the time the train reached the Crystal Empire, he was ready to get off. It was a long ways from Ponyville to here (to the point that it was already afternoon), and he didn’t like being stuck in one place with nothing to do.
He was first off the train, and, partly out of habit, began scanning the crowd. The sparkly, sparkly crowd. Phalanx had never really known before that Crystal Ponies would be so… well, crystalline. He’d always thought that was more a figure of speech than anything, but at noon on a clear day, it’d probably be almost blinding. Pictures had never been able to show just how shiny they were.
But, for now, Phalanx disregarded the sparkly sparkliness. Almost immediately, he noticed an awful lot of guards around. Well, not a lot a lot, but still too many for a train station. They weren’t searching anyone, but they were looking over the crowd like they were looking for someone. They had those quickly-flitting glances. Why?
Phalanx faux-meandered through the crowd, trying to get a quick glimpse at their ranks and see who was in charge. The highest-ranking one was a lieutenant. Odd; for something like this, that was a bit low. Unless his superior was somewhere else. Yeah, probably.
Phalanx sized him up, having never really seen a Crystal guardspony up close before. He somehow managed to look regal in spite of being so dang sparkly. It might’ve been the color of his coat (was coat the right word for it? It looked a bit hard for that): that particular shade of purpley indigo was just the right tone to look a bit imposing. His tail and eyes were similarly shaded, casting him in a very-slightly haughty aura. It almost distracted Phalanx from the fact that the guard’s armor was embroidered. (It was quite subdued, but it was still embroidered armor.)
“Excuse me, Lieutenant,” Phalanx said, “but why are there so many guards here?”
The guard glanced at Phalanx and was turning back, opening his mouth to speak, when he did a double-take. He flinched a little, a small twitch from muzzle to tail, and took a moment to speak. “W-we’ve heard that some of the dragons around here are getting a bit, ehm, uppity. We’re just keeping watch over the station to be sure none of them come.” He turned back to watching the crowd. “Lieutenant Rampart Watch, by the way.”
Well. What to make of that? Well, not the dragons, but the other stuff. Why was this Rampart all twitchy at first? It wasn’t like Phalanx was high-ranking or particularly famous. (If only…) He didn’t even outrank Rampart. Was Rampart just the jumpy sort? …Yeah, most likely. Maybe he just got promoted and was still adjusting. Because what else could there be?
“Ah,” said Phalanx. “Didn’t hear that. But I’m from Canterlot, s-”
Rampart interrupted. “You wouldn’t, it’s pretty minor,” he said quickly. “This just in case.” After a brief pause, he twitched again. What was with him?
“Okay,” said Phalanx. “Thanks.” He headed back to the train; the mares had gotten caught up in the departure cram, but wiggled out by now.
“Y’wanna just go ahead and do it?” said Ida, brushing down her hair.
“Like I said, we need to find Amber as soon as possible,” said Phalanx. “Lead the way.”
For whatever reason, the fact that Kalahari’s mind kept coming back to was that the Crystal Palace was really really really tall. It simply… loomed over everything like some sort of watchtower and was visible pretty much everywhere in the Empire. Her gaze kept flitting up to it as she followed Chandra following Phalanx following Ida through the streets. She’d seen big buildings before, sure, but nothing quite so imposing as that. Quite the-
Ida said, “We’re here,” and an unobservant Kalahari plowed into Chandra.
“Sorry,” Kalahari mumbled to Chandra as she pulled herself up. “Wasn’t looking.”
“That’s fine,” said Chandra. She shook herself down. She turned the house and frowned. “So she’s in the one with all the blinds down?”
Kalahari blinked and looked at the… It wasn’t a house house, the way she usually thought of them. Townhouse? At the townhouse. Sure enough, every single window in the building had its shades drawn. But someone was home; there were lights on behind the shades.
“Uh… yeah,” said Ida. “But that ain’t like her…” She raised a hoof, paused, and tentatively knocked on the door.
Kalahari and Chandra exchanged glances. “What do you think’s up?” asked Kalahari.
Chandra stared at the townhouse. “I have no idea.”
Ida knocked again, louder.
“I mean,” Chandra continued, “I don’t know what those’re supposed to be doing. It looks like somepony’s trying too hard at making it look like nopony’s home, you know?”
“Yeah.”
“But then why’s the light on? She can’t be that stupid. Is she just scared or something?”
Knock knock. “Amber?” Ida called out. “You home? It’s Ida!”
“And scared of what?” Chandra turned to Phalanx. “What do you think?”
Phalanx was impassive. “I think we should refrain from making assumptions until we can t-”
The door cracked open, and everyone turned to face it. A quivering orange eye peeked out. “Ida?” somepony whispered.
“Amber, what’s going on?” asked Ida. “Why’s-”
The other pony cut her off. “What’re you doing here?” Her voice sounded a little panicked.
“Amber, I’m working with some investigators, and we want to talk about the Elemen-”
The door abruptly slammed shut, only to open wide a moment later. The pony Kalahari saw wasn’t pretty; she had bags under her eyes and her mane was frizzy and unkempt. Most alarmingly, her coat lacked the sheen of other Crystal Ponies. She glanced back and forth down the street. “Get inside. Quick, all of you.”
Ida took a step back in surprise. “Amber, wh-”
“Now,” hissed Amber. Her gaze skimmed the street again.
Ida glanced backward at the others, a befuddled I-don’t-know-what-the-hay-is-going-on look, and ran inside. Everypony else followed.
As soon as they were inside, Amber slammed the door shut, threw the chain, and breathed a sigh of relief. She glanced at the group in a way that seemed more like she was vaguely registering their presence then actually looking at them. “Just…” she mumbled, “just drop your stuff anywhere.” She waved a hoof vaguely around the room and sort of staggered into her living room, dropping into an armchair.
Ida quickly shrugged her bags off and followed her. “Amber, seriously, what in Equestria is going on? You’re jumpier’n a grasshopper on a trampoline. Why’s everything all…”
“W-well, i-it…” Amber paused. “You all should probably just take a seat.”
After Phalanx had managed to grab the other good chair in the room and Kalahari was crammed between Chandra and Ida on the couch, Amber took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Okay, now, you’re here to get a statement from me or whatever, right? About the Elements of Harmony?”
Phalanx nodded. “That’s correct, ma’am. You are currently the only strand of hard evidence that we have; everything else has turned up dead ends.”
“Call me Amber,” mumbled Amber. “Well, ah, the, um, uh, the thing is…” She glanced towards her drawn blinds and whispered, “I think the thieves are out to kill me.”
“A bit extreme,” said Kalahari, “don’t you think?”
“You didn’t see them,” said Amber. “They, they didn’t feel right. One of them got a good look at me and she made the throat-slice motion and she looked really nastily happy about it-” She began drawing her forelegs across her mane as if she was trying to straighten it. “-and it really felt like they would do it if they could and they can steal the Elements so they’re capable and the only reason they can’t is they don’t know where I live and I keep the blinds drawn so they can’t look in and reco-”
“So you think they want to kill you,” said Phalanx, cutting her off, “but they don’t know where you are.”
Amber froze, looked at the ground, and muttered, “Yeah.”
“But they know you’re a Crystal Pony, so they know you’re from-”
“The Crystal Empire’s a big place, you know,” said Kalahari. “It was bigger than Canterlot even before the suburbs started springing up a few decades ago, and covers an area of ab-”
She yelped as Chandra prodded her in the stomach. “We get it. Big place.”
“And it’ll take a while for them to find me,” said Amber, “and that’s assuming they can find me at all so if I just keep my blinds drawn then they can’t recognize me and can’t kill me and that’s good because I won’t die an-”
“Okay,” Phalanx cut in again, “but we need you to tell us what you know. If you don’t, th-”
“I know,” muttered Amber. She began stroking her mane again. “They’ll get away. But if I do then when you start investigating them they’ll know I told you and they’ll start looking for me even more and I might n-”
Her rambling abruptly ground to a halt and she froze mid-stroke. Looking Phalanx in the eye, she said, “Can you take me to Canterlot?”
“What? What do you mean?”
“Take me to Canterlot. For protection. You stick me in a nice safe room with guards and then I tell you everything I know and then when they try to get me they can’t because I’m too secure and well-protected and-” She swallowed. “Well, yeah. That.”
Phalanx paused and turned to Chandra. “That’s not that bad an idea. Chandra, you’ve worked with the Princesses; do you think they’d accept this?”
“How am I supposed to know? I work in an astronomical context, not a criminal one. Still, this is pretty small, as far as witness protection goes, so…” Chandra shrugged. “I don’t see why not. Sure.”
Amber breathed a sigh of relief. “Thanks. Thanks a lot.” She coughed. “So, so do you want my testimony now, or, or should we wait until we get to Canterlot?”
Phalanx glanced at Kalahari. “Well?”
“I think it can wait,” said Kalahari. “We’ll have better security, better facilities, better interviewers-”
“Better interviewers?” asked Chandra. She snorted a little. “You’re just asking questions. How hard can that be?”
“You need to know the right questions to ask,” responded Kalahari. “I can do it if we need to, but it’d be better if we had a trained questioner.”
“Alright,” said Phalanx, “so now we just need to know when the train leaves next. I’ll go to the st-”
“Next train to Canterlot leaves in like fifteen seconds,” said Amber, glancing at the clock. “So that’s no good and the next direct one doesn’t leave until 7 tomorrow morning but we can take a transfer through Ponyville in an hour or Fillydelphia in two and a half or Detrot in four if we really screw up and I don’t think we’ll be staying after that and Fillydelphia’s the fastest but not by a whole lot and we probably don’t want to wait that long.”
A strange silence fell over the room as everyone stared at Amber rattling off times like it was nothing. Amber shrank a little, her ears folded back. “What?” she half-squeaked.
“…You’ve memorized the train schedules?” asked Ida.
“Yeah. For the next week. In case I needed to get away quickly.” Amber giggled nervously. “It’s only paranoia if you’re wrong, you know.”
“Okaaay,” said Phalanx. “Let’s go with that.”
For a moment, no one spoke. Then Chandra said, “We’ve got two hours to kill. I’m going to get something fancy to drink. Anypony else want to get something fancy to drink? I’m going to get something fancy to drink.” She extricated herself from the couch.
“I’ll go,” said Kalahari. She dropped from the couch and rolled her shoulders. “Long day.”
Amber bit her lip and flicked her tail, her eyes flitting towards the window. After a moment’s hesitation, she said, “W-well, I kinda wanna… But, you know-”
“I’ll come with you, if that’ll make you feel better,” said Phalanx. “It’s what I’m here for, after all.”
Amber sighed with relief. “Thanks. Thanks.” Kalahari wasn’t sure, but it looked like Amber’s coat was regaining some shine. A good sign, assuming it was actually there.
“Well, I ain’t thirsty,” said Ida, “but I sure ain’t sitting here alone. I just hope there’s a nice place near here.”
“Oh, yeah,” said Amber, nodding vigorously. “Yeah, I know a place.”
Out in the open, sitting at a table with everypony else, Amber figured that not being in her house, if only for a few hours, was almost definitely for the best. Fresh air, not going over the same rug over and over and over and over, voices other than her own, and food that wasn’t canned. Maybe she’d been wrong about being so paranoid.
The Teal Trotter Tavern was one of the nicest dives in the Crystal Empire, with friendly waiters, shiny surfaces everywhere, generally decent musicians -- smooth jazz tonight -- and a quiet, laid-back atmosphere. Oh, but it was most definitely a dive; Amber knew half the ponies there personally and most of the other half by sight, and the menu selection was definitely something to sneeze at, barring the drinks. The only reason you went there was to chat with friends, drink, or chat with friends while drinking. The group was at a table halfway into the room; most of them were poring over the drinks menu, although Ida was looking semi-disinterestedly at the crowd.
“Ooo, lassi,” said Chandra from the other side of her menu.
“Hmm?” said Amber.
“They’ve got lassi,” said Chandra. She slid the menu to Amber and poked a hoof at it. “Not a lot of places in Equestria have lassi, which is a shame.”
Amber always knew what she wanted, so she didn’t look at the drinks menu a lot. Most of the names on there were completely foreign to her, and this was no different. “What’s lassi?”
Kalahari didn’t look up from her own menu. “Common Indeccanian drink. Made with water, yo-”
Chandra nudged Kalahari. “Come on. Let me explain it. It’s great,” she said to Amber. “It’s one of those things that manages to be sweet while also being healthy. Lots of fruit in it. It’s kind of like a smoothie, actually, but a bit thicker. And it’s easy to make, too, I sometimes make it myself at home.”
“Really? What’s it made out of?”
But she was interrupted, for at that moment, a smiling waitress walked up to them. “Hello, everypony! I’m Garnet and I’ll be your server tonight.” She nodded to Amber. “You’re looking a bit down. The usual?”
“Yeah,” said Amber, nodding back. “And just drinks tonight, thanks.”
“Great. And for everyone else?”
“Mango lassi,” said Chandra.
“Rock shandy,” said Kalahari.
“I’ll take a Lemon, Lime, and Bitters,” said Phalanx. “Hold the bitters.”
“Uh-huh,” said Garnet, nodding in turn. “Uh-huh. Uh-huh. And… nothing for you?” she said to Ida.
“Nah,” said Ida, shaking her head. “I ain’t that thirsty.”
“Alrighty then,” said Garnet. “Back in a sec.” She turned on a dime and headed towards the kitchen.
“Where was I with lassi?” Chandra asked, half to herself and half to Amber. “Right, making it. Anyway, it’s real simple, you just take water and yogurt and some fruit -- mango in this case -- and you…”
Amber nodded as Chandra kept talking. Lassi did sound good, but not tonight. Maybe later. And making it seemed pretty simple, so once the Elements were found and nopony was trying to kill her, she’d take a slow weekend and try to make some.
She jumped when someone lightly poked her, but it was just Phalanx. “Hey,” he whispered, “do you know where the restroom is?”
“Back there,” said Amber, pointing to one end of the room, “and take a right.”
“Thanks.” He left his seat and vanished into the crowd.
Chandra kept talking, not seeming to notice Phalanx’s departure; now she was on something called… doogh? Amber barely managed to suppress a giggle. Surrounded by… maybe not friends, but acquaintances, at the least, she was almost feeling normal again, like she was out with any other group of friends. After all that had gone wrong over the past few days, it was nice to have something that didn’t-
Some movement near the door happened to pull her gaze over and her eyes went wide.
It was the unicorn.
The unicorn thief from the boxcar was standing in the doorway, casually looking around the room. There was no way it was anypony else; same coat, same manecut, same cold violet eyes.
Amber’s heart went into overdrive. I’m dead I’m dead I’m dead.
“I’m not here,” she hissed. She ducked under the table and began crawling along the floor, heading towards a wall, trying to stay below eye level. She’ll come in. Look for me. Can’t find me? Maybe get around her.
Of course, crawling wasn’t exactly a great way to stay inconspicuous in a crowded room, as evidenced when Iridescence from down the street ducked down to ask what, exactly, she was doing. Amber managed to stammer something out about a lost contact lens, even though they both knew she didn’t wear them. But Iridescence seemed a bit too confused to press the subject, and returned to her conversation.
Amber slowly stood up as much as she dared, trying to stay low. Luckily, happy hour was coming, and the Teal Trotter was filling up. As Amber hugged the wall, heading towards a corner, her spirits began to rise. Maybe… Just maybe…
Then she spotted another pony. Not one she recognized. But this pony had the same manecut as the unicorn.
Just like all the other thieves had. Same manecut. Same group.
Amber’s spirits hit the ceiling and began falling again.
Her edging became a little slower. The new pony didn’t seem to notice her, but she was still meandering through the crowds. She was still searching for her.
Her paranoia up again, Amber’s gaze flitted across the room, and her spirits entered a nosedive. There were more of them. Two or three at least. Spread out to make it harder for her to get by them. Definitely looking for her.
I’m dead I’m dead I’m dead I’m dead I’m dead.
But as she kept looking and took another step towards the corner, she realized she couldn’t see the unic-
“Heeeellooooooo…”
Amber bumped into somepony, and that somepony’s singsongy voice made her blood ran cold.
Slowly, she turned and found herself face-to-face with the unicorn, smiling far too broadly. There wasn’t anything specific, but something about her expression just made Amber’s skin crawl. She didn’t look much better up close; her coat was still a sickly, pale yellow, her mane still white-gray.
Her eyes still so dark they were almost black.
“Hey there,” said the unicorn, still grinning.
“Hi,” squeaked Amber. She tried to take a step back, but bumped into another pony, who pushed her forward again.
“Been a while since I saw you last. How you been doing?” Another pony came in from the side, completely boxing Amber in.
“I’ve been better,” whispered Amber, shrinking towards the ground.
The unicorn laughed softly. “You know, let’s cut the crap. There are two ways we can go about this. You can come with us quietly and willingly after you realize there’s no way you’re getting out of this, or you can come with us quietly and unwillingly after I seal your mouth shut.” A few beads of light ran down her horn. “Oh,” she added nonchalantly, “and I’ll notice if you try to start yelling now. You need deep breaths, you know, and you’re hyperventilating so much you sound like a sputtering motor. So…” She leaned in close, her muzzle touching Amber’s. Her mouth pulled back the last few millimeters to make her grin truly nasty. “What’s it gonna be, honey?”
Amber swallowed. Trapped near the wall, it was unlikely anypony would be looking in her direction and notice her problem. She had nowhere to go. Nowhere to run. Nopony to call on. Nothing she could do.
I’m dead.
Truth be told, Ida hadn’t actually gone to the Teal Trotter because otherwise she’d be alone (well, not entirely); she’d gone because she wanted to keep an eye on Amber. She was the nervous type, sure, but this? She’d never been this bad. Even after she agreed to go to the Teal Trotter, she still looked a bit jumpy.
Ida looked out vaguely over the crowd, always keeping Amber at least in her peripheral vision. Amber probably wouldn’t like it if she knew Ida was always watching her. Best to keep a low profile and look disinterested, the person who wasn’t really involved in conversations. She stopped being disconnected when a waitress took their orders, but went right back to it once she was gone.
For a while, it looked like it was working. Amber was relaxing a bit, not shaking as much. She wasn’t babbling out her sentences. She was even a bit chatty with the rest of the group; Ida hadn’t known Amber to be so talkative, so this was a good sign.
Then Amber whispered, “I’m not here,” and ducked under the table.
Ida ducked after her and whispered, “Wait a sec!” But Amber was already gone, crawling along the floor and below other tables.
Ida pulled back up and glanced at everypony else in the group. The looks on their faces were just as much “what the hay just happened” ones as Ida presumed was on hers.
She opened her mouth to say something, but Garnet returned with their drinks. She paused. “I saw the guard leave, but where’s Amber?”
“She had to, uh,” said Ida, “she also had to go to the little filly’s room all of a sudden.”
“Ah.” Garnet slid them each their drinks, leaving Amber’s orange juice in front of her empty seat. “Let me know if you need anything more, alright? Alright.” She left, heading for her next table.
“Where’d she go?” asked Chandra. “I didn’t catch it.”
“She’s- There she is,” said Kalahari, pointing. Over by that wall.”
Everypony looked. Amber was surrounded by three ponies and looked terrified.
“Wait… Are those the thieves?” said Ida, frowning. “How’d they know we were here?”
“I don’t know,” said Chandra. She began looking around. “I don’t see Phalanx,” she said nervously. “Should I go get him?”
“Yeah,” said Ida, still staring at Amber and the thieves. “That’d be good.” Her voice was flat; she wasn’t sure what to do. Even if they got Phalanx, it might be too late. If only she knew some way to stall them…
But as Chandra left, something clicked in Ida. She looked at the thieves and the space between them. It was pretty clear. She looked down at Amber’s glass. It was about the same size as an apple…
“When they turn to look over here,” Ida muttered to Kalahari, “look terrified and point at me.”
“What?”
But Ida wasn’t listening. She stepped away from the table and moved the glass a little for better aim. Then she whirled around and hit the glass with a buck.
The glass sailed gracefully through the air, trailing orange juice behind it. It smashed into the head of one of the thieves and shattered, drenching her with juice. She whirled towards their table, murder in her eyes. After an instant’s pause, Kalahari scooched away from Ida, pointing a quivering hoof at her.
“‘Ey!” yelled Ida, slurring her words. “Wha’ d’y’thin’ yuh’re doin’ t’my frien’?” She began walking a swaying walk towards the unicorn.
The unicorn’s composure slipped for a moment and she blinked in surprise. Then her look became one of annoyance. “Look, sweetie,” she said, “it’s a personal matter. So why don’t you trot on back to your drink and let us sort this out, aight?” She shook her head, trying to get some of the orange juice off.
“Pers’nal?” said Ida loudly as she continued to approach the unicorn. Other ponies in the room were turning to look at the commotion. “Don’ loo’ like ‘t. ‘Oo’re you, anyway?”
One of the other thieves, a pegasus, leaned over to the unicorn. “Rhea,” she whispered, “you need to get rid of her now.”
The unicorn -- Rhea? -- brushed her away. “We are colleagues of your friend’s,” she said to Ida. She leaned close to Ida, her teeth clenched. “It. Would be best. If you. Left. Now.”
Ida blinked in feigned confusion. “Bu’ why? Yuh don’ loo’ li’ yuh’re doin’ anythin’ good. Loo’ at ’er.” All right, come on, come on, hit me.
Rhea lightly planted a hoof on Ida’s chest and pushed her away. “I do not think that is any of your concern. If y-”
“C’mooon, jus’ tell me!” said Ida, walking back up to Rhea. “I’ can’ be tha’ bad.”
Rhea started snarling and slapped Ida across the face. “Listen, honey, if you kn-”
But she didn’t get any further, as a mare decided to crash-tackle her into a wall, yelling something about not hitting people. She looked about as unsteady as Ida. Genuinely so, though. Pinning Rhea between her and the wall, she headbutted her, only to get yanked off by one of the other thieves. Then a stallion jumped on the thief, one thing led to another, and things got loud as several more drunken ponies began piling on.
Just as Ida had hoped. Amber knew the ponies here, right? So she was probably friends with them. And no one had stepped forward to defend her because nopony had noticed anything. But if they saw she was surrounded, and saw proof that the thieves were Not Nice (i.e., her aggressors slapping somepony trying to defend her), then they’d probably want to protect her. Particularly if they were drunk and not thinking about how it wasn’t their problem. Which, given this was a bar, was rather likely.
Ida was actually surprised at how well it had gone.
Amber hadn’t moved from her spot on the floor. The thieves’ attention diverted for the moment by various hooves to the face, Ida jabbed her in the ribs. “Hey,” she hissed, “come on.”
Amber blinked and looked around her. “That would probably be good, yes.” She abruptly shot out from the melee and was out the door before Ida could react.
“Hey, wait!” Ida yelled, far too late to do anything about it. She ran back to Kalahari.
“What did you do?” whispered Kalahari, caught somewhere between shock and awe.
“Stalled,” said Ida. She glanced towards the bathrooms. “Where’s-”
And then her question was answered as Chandra and Phalanx came into view. Upon seeing the fight, Chandra’s jaw dropped and Phalanx’s eyes widened a little. Both pairs of ponies headed towards each other, meeting halfway.
Phalanx’s head snapped to the fight, then back to Ida. “There is a bar fight going on. Why is there a bar fight going on.” His voice was flat. Then he blinked and craned his neck. “And where’s Amber?”
“She saw the thieves-”
Phalanx blanched. “What?”
“-and she tried to get away, but they cornered her, so I played drunk and got one to hit me so somepony else would hit them.” Ida blinked. “And now that all sounds real dangerous and stupid.”
“If it’s stupid but it works,” said Phalanx, “it isn’t stupid. But where’s Amber?”
“At her house, I think. Come on.” The group ran out of the bar, leaving the still-ongoing fight behind them.