Placing his quill behind his relaxed ear, Dr. Iron Pen sat back in his chair, looking to his next client in need of counseling. With the recent massive collective dream, multiple ponies had decided to seek some guidance into their undiscovered desires and fears. The next mare to visit him was no exception, however one the ponyville earthpony never expected to have a visit from.
“Take a seat, your highness.” The grey stallion spoke to the lunar goddess, motioning her to a red couch across from him. With slight irritation, Luna did as she was told and stared absentmindedly at the ceiling. “I hear it was your sister that requested you to visit me. Is that true?”
“With all due respect to your field of study and the time it took to grasp it, I rather not waste either of our time with this banter. I rather just hear the facts and leave.” She spoke, her tone unamused and cold.
“Is that so?” Pen asked, looking to the mare with slight interest. “What is it you want to hear? I half expected you to want me to help you cope with the dream event. That is, at least, what your sister mentioned.”
“Ha... That is beyond my thoughts now. A loyal group of friends made sure of that. I should really have thanked them more for their willingness to help, all things considered.”
“Care to elaborate?” the doctor asked, beginning to take a few notes. “That is, if I may inquire of the dreams of the mare who guards over them.” He gave a little smile to her for reassurance.
With a light sigh, she nodded and began. “As you might know from other ponies coming to you for help with the recent... event, I had created a monster capable of altering dreams into nightmares. It was defeated, of course. And again I thank Princess Twilight and her friends for their aid in the actions. The origin of this monster, the Tantabus, was of my own, formed from guilt of what I was forced to do as Nightmare Moon. Every night -minus a few I would aid other dreamers- I would relive the night of my transformation. It was as if I were recreating my past once again. Each time, I would... slay elements of harmony.... It was the perfect nightmare each and every night.” A tear had formed in the Lunar goddesses eye, making it’s way down her cheek.
Handing her a cleanex, Pen finished his notes and nodded. “And now, with it slain, you are at rest?” He then asked, looking to the mare’s reaction.
Giving it a second of thought, Luna gave a nod. “Well, of course. With my guilt finally at rest, I have had only pleasant dreams. Some range from seeing my friends, to going so far as to just dreaming about a peaceful sleep. I guess when you haven't seen a sane dream in years, one can consider anything a good dream.” She said, a light laugh accompanying her words.
The psychologist gave returned her attempt at happiness with a smile of his own. “You seem to have changed your mind quite quickly about wanting to stay.”
“I have found it quite comforting talking to somepony who can listen and not give judgment.” She replied, sitting up some, expanding her smile.
Pen was smiling, but he was regretting his next words. “And what of your sister, Princess Celestia?” This earned an uncomfortable silence, the mare’s eyes darting away from the stallion, her smile vanishing in a second.
“What is there to say? She wanted to help me, so she sent me to your services.” She replied, her tone slightly lower than before. “As I said, you are doing quite well at your job... so this is good for me.”
“Not regarding now... but when all this was going on. With your self-induced nightmares, she didn’t want to aid?” Pen then asked, scratching out an earlier note he took.
“You act as if she knew.” Luna scoffed, rolling her eyes. “But no, she didn’t.”
“She didn’t know you had this issue?”
Luna looked over to the stallion, seeing him give her a look of concern. Shaking her head some, she then closed her eyes and went on. “As I said, it was self-induced. I didn’t tell her. Why would I?”
“And she didn’t notice? From what you tell me of this nightmare... and how much it pained you just to recall it. If it has been years since you first came back from the m-” Pen was silenced when Luna’s hoof came down on the cushion, the wood border splintering some from the force.
“I told you! She didn’t know. I didn’t tell her. She couldn’t pick up on it! She doesn't know! That’s why she sent me to you, right? To fix this for me?” Luna yelled, a few decibels lower than her royal yell. Realizing her outburst, Luna got up,her head low, and made for the door. “I’ll be on my way... Sorry to waste your time...”
“Easy there. We aren’t done here.” Pen said, pointing a hoof back to the couch. His expression was a smile of comfort, not the scared one Luna had expected. However, the smile itself brought a new level of judgment. Was he enjoying her so exposed? She took her seat on couch cushion and glared at him.
“So, what is there you want to know now, Mr. Pen?” She asked, her expression neutral.
“Not to seem overly curious... but when you shouted, what did you mean by ‘she doesn’t know’ rather than saying ‘she didn’t know’?” Pen asked, sitting back again.
Luna looked a bit questionative. “It’s the same thing. I mean she knows now obviously, or else I wouldn’t be here, would I?”
“But did she know up until after the event?”
“It never involved her. So why should I have then?” Now Luna seemed to getting defencive. Her tone showed it. Behind Pen’s now neutral expression, he was actually happy. He was getting deeper into the real problem he suspected.
“I find that rather odd actually. If what I have learned about the events of the nightmare moon event, it was between you and Celestia, not Princess Twilight and her co-ruler” Pen pointed out.
“Again, false. The battle between Twilight and her friends was the second battle. The most recent one when Nightmare Moon returned some few years ago.” She pointed out, looking to the window outside from her position on the couch. Even in the late afternoon time, her moon was still visible. “That battle against an innocent foe... it’s why it stuck. If I were to have... slane them, not unlike how I had in my dreams, it would have been worth my soul being forgotten in Tartarus.”
Noting the last line, he then decided to take his chance. “Luna, I’m going to make a guess here. And you can defend against it, but... I just wish to venture a bit deeper. You hint in your words that you feel that you are closer to Twilight and her friends than you are to your sister.” Luna opened her mouth, but Pen’s raised hoof silenced the mare for now. “From mentioning that Twilight was ‘innocent’ compared to your fight with Celestia, and how this fight was one to be more memorable than the first, does point my possibility in the right direction. You again keep lashing out in a passive way that you never wanted her close to you with any of this. And... you resent that she only considered the way to fix this was not to talk about this sister to sister, but... to send you off to me.”
This time, when the earthpony finished his proposal, Luna didn’t rebuttal. From the saddened eyes of the lunar mare, it was obvious there was no counter.
“If I may ask, is this all from the early moments of the first night mare mo-”
“No...” Luna interrupted, still not looking up. Her voice wasn’t harsh, but cold and hurt. “I could blame myself for it if she and I were fighting because of my actions then. I could live with that and accept I was at fault. But, it wasn’t because of that night all those years ago. It was when Twilight came to view.
“This... this was early on in my return. At the time I was still guilt-ridden with the fact I had nearly engulfed Equestria in eternal night. Still, Celestia was always warm in her words of forgiveness and willing to take me back as her sister. Yet, I could never fully understand one thing. She always seemed to keep an apprentice close to her in training. Obviously, I considered the fact that it was for simple intentions that Celestia had trained Twilight. And don’t get me wrong, I hold Twilight close to my heart as well. She is, by far, a very loving and caring equine.
“Then why did you blame her for your disliking of your sister?” Pen asked, his expression changing to close interest.
Luna’s, however, had grown a hint of anger in her saddened eyes. “Again, this was a few years ago. When bringing up the events of my return to my sister on the eve of year after the fateful night, she said that it was her student’s brilliance and magical willpower that transformed me back into myself. However, to this day, I still question this. I talked with Twilight on the subject myself not too long after and she described as Celestia trying to push her off of my darker side’s even existence.
“However, there is a few moments in which I wish to say I have doubt within my sister. If you are familiar in recent events in Equestrian history, I wish to bring up the return of Sombra and the Crystal Empire. It’s well known that it was Spike, and the six heroes along side him that claimed victory and returned the Crystal Empire and it’s power back to Prince Shining Armor and Princess Cadence. Originally, it was I who had wished to go instead. Yet, it was just another test for her soon to be princess. That day, I felt we became less and less as sisters. Later when Twilight had returned victorious and ‘passed her test’ as she put it, I had tried to show Celestia a memory of the Crystal Empire before Sombra’s rule. Us... there together as fillies. She may have smiled at my cute little gesture of good faith... but there wasn’t much will to remember the past.
“She trained her student. She trained her to become a princess. She then gave her Ponyville as her land to rule. And I... I stay at her side, under her wing. I may be her sister, but I also wished to rule. Yet, I feel it was Tia who kept me close, to keep special watch over me. That’s the only thing I can think of, to keep me suppressed. To not become a vengeful sister I have seen her dream of me.”
“She dreamt what?” Pen then exclaimed, sitting up. Seeing him startle from his place Luna then looked to him with anger in her eyes.
“We are done talking.” She spoke, standing, and leaving the room.