//------------------------------// // Springtime for Sombra // Story: Springtime for Sombra // by GreyGuardPony //------------------------------// A rainbow colored river flowed into The Palace Theater tonight. Those well to do enough to secure tickets dressed in their best and Manehatten’s press clustered about the street, snapping photos at any pony that looked important. Riche glared at a few of them as his carriage came to a stop. Vultures, the lot of them. Formerly useful vultures that had seen fit to completely undermine his plans. At the moment though, they were more of an annoyance than anything else. Blueblood was already standing on the street, talking animatedly with Fleur, who was wearing her latest “favorite old thing”. Hopping out of his carriage, Riche made to stride right past the pair uninterested in speaking with either. But Fleur never missed a chance to show off, especially when they tried to run away. Beaming a cheaply fake smile, she swooped down upon him, dragging Blueblood along for the ride. Blueblood smiled politely, giving a slight nod of his head that might pass for a bow. “Good evening. Decided to swallow your pride and see what exactly we’re dealing with here?” “I, for one, am quite interested in seeing what the human has to show off,” Fleur said, lightly fluffing her mane. “This could be very interesting!” “I only care if it's Interesting enough to make my money back,” Riche grumbled, tugging at the sleeve of his jacket, “Otherwise I could care less what this pretend pony has cooked up.” “Oh Riche, how inharmonious of you!” Fleur clucked. “All are welcome in Equestria. Or...did you not know that?” “Save the rhetoric for your judge of a coltfriend,” Riche growled, beginning to push past them. A sudden swarm of clicking drew Riche’s attention. Sighing he turned to make certain that his plan had completely fallen apart. Sure enough an elegant white and golden carriage turned onto the street, pulled by a pair of armored royal guards. Riche resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Equestria’s infatuation with the royals was...a thing, he supposed. The carriage rattled to a stop. Then, before any of The Palace’s ushers could open the door for the VIP a glittering gold aura threw it open and Princess Celestia stepped out. Equestria’s leader had chosen a dress that drew from her connection to the sun. A rich yellow color at the top and back, it flowed into a rich orange color at the skirt, almost like a sunset. Even her golden regalia seemed to be glittering a little more than usual. Her expression was serene, as always, giving a few appreciative smiles as she strode down the red carpet. Princess Cadance was right behind her, in an elegant purple affair, two different layers of pink ribbon wrapped around the skirt. It reminded Riche of a wedding cake, all lace and fluff. The younger princess waved eagerly to the crowd as she passed. As Celestia swooped into the building, Riche could almost swear that her eyes narrowed at him. But then it was gone and the and the magnanimous smile was back as she vanished from sight. “Well,” Blueblood smiled, “I suppose there’s nothing to do but join the princess inside.” “...I suppose so,” Riche sighed. - - - - “Alright everypony, we’re going live in five! This is not a drill!” Skitch shouted from her position on stage right, clipboard bobbing before her snout. “Get on your marks!” The last bit of scenery was being pulled into place by Quartz and her crew, while the backstage area churned with all the activity of a kicked over ant hill. Pre-show jitters, Skitch supposed. Her eyes roamed over the checklist provided by...Twilight. She had walked into the backstage area, looked around and with a twitch of her eye immediately set to making the thing. No matter the situation, Twilight was gonna Twilight. “Has anyone seen Pinkie?” she asked. “Right here!” Pinkie popped into Skitch’s peripheral vision, appearing almost like she stepped out of a hole in reality. Skitch looked up from the clipboard with a smile. “Ready to knock em dead?” “Totally! I’m gonna bowl them over!” Skitch chuckled, trotting over to the curtain and pulling it back, ever so slightly, to peek out at the seats beyond. The palace was arranged like most theaters. A wide lower seating section was arranged into three major rows before the music pit, with balcony seating above that, private boxes set into the walls along the side. Celestia and Cadance had a royal box closest to the stage on the left side. Same side and angle from the stage that Statler and Waldorf heckled the Muppets from. They had also been joined by Twilight and Spike. Twilight seemed overjoyed to have some time to talk with her mentor. Riche was sitting the next box back, with an expression like he had just bitten into a particularly sour apple. “Yeah, screw you too buddy,” Skitch muttered under her breath. “Ooo! Is that Quill?” Pinkie asked, suddenly at Skitch’s side again. At the mention of the unicorn’s name, Skitch began to frantically scan the crowd for any sign of grey. “Quill? Where?” “Ooops, sorry Skitchy. Not Nocky Quill, Silver Quill! See?” She pointed to a seat in one of the lower rows. There a hippogriff sat, white feathered around the neck and head, but brown around the wings and front half of his body. His pony half was a lighter brown, on which a silver quill cutie-mark stood out. He also had a pen and notepad in his talons. “He’s one of Manehatten’s most well known theater critics!” Pinkie explained with a grin. “Damn Pinkie, you almost made me jump out of my coat,” Skitch muttered, ducking back behind the curtains. Taking a deep breath, she slowly let it go to drain the tension away. This was it. Whatever happened now would happen. Opening her eyes, she gave a stern nod. “Okay. Lights! We’re going for it!” - - - - Flash tugged at the collar of his tuxedo. It remained a little tight in the neck and across his barrel, having come from his college days, before he had put on a few pounds. He really should have had Rarity adjust it, but it had completely slipped his mind. The orchestra was working through it’s final warm ups before the plunge. Pinkie stepping out onto the stage was the signal. Part of him really had no idea why he had gone along with Skitch’s plan, while the other part of him pointed out that she had a plan. And some kind of plan was a better option than none at all. It was just...under the gaze of Celestia and Cadance it suddenly felt a little...lacking. Rolling his eyes towards the ceiling for a moment, he offered a silent prayer to whatever pony gods might be listening. Please don’t let my first big job end in a disaster. The house lights began to dim, every other bank in the long ceiling rows snapping off, casting the audience in just enough darkness to highlight the stage. Pinkie Pie trotted on from stage left, wide smile stretched across her muzzle and a bounce in her step. Time for him to do his job. Raising one hoof into the air to bring the orchestra’s attention to him, he tapped his other forehoof against the metal of his music stand to set the beat. Every eye snapped towards him and instruments were raised, a silence settling over the both audience and orchestra. “Good evening everypony!” Pinkie shouted, with the manic energy that Flash had come to associate with her. “The theater is a super fun place, full of laughter but sometimes tears too. Comedies and tragedies both are performed under this roof. And tonight, we are happy as a clam to present to you….” She paused for a moment, doing her best to build tension before breaking into a cheerful giggle. “A comedy! We shall use every trick we know to entertain you!” Flash let his raised hoof drop, immediately transitioning into the flowing gestures of conducting. With the rise of the music, Pinkie broke into song. Something familiar, Something peculiar Something for everyone: A comedy tonight! Something appealing, Something appalling, Something for everyone: A comedy tonight! She even sounded happy when singing! The song in question was, apparently, from another play called A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum. While Flash hated the idea of mixing scores from two different productions, Skitch had insisted on this one. To make the nature of the production clear, had been her logic. Nothing with queens, nothing with crowns; Bring on the lovers, liars and clowns! Pinke punctuated that line by producing a few brightly colored balls from her mane and juggling them, before tossing them back into the air and catching them with her tail. Old situations, New complications Nothing portentous or polite! Tragedy tomorrow, Comedy tonight! Flash dropped his hoof and the music abruptly cut off. In the next moment a great “tragic” wailing went up from behind the curtain, the sound of hooves crashing back and forth across the stage. Pinkie “froze” for a moment, but quickly took on an annoyed expression. With an exaggerated twirl, she stuck her head through the curtain. “Hey! I said, tragedy tomorrow, comedy tonight!” A great “Oh!” of comprehension was the response, and as a light round of chuckles rolled through the audience, Flash took the beat up again. Pinkie was back in her upbeat grin before she finished turning around and dove right back into the song. Something expensive, Something offensive, Something for everyone: A comedy tonight! Passions and potions, Constant commotions! Something for everyone: A comedy tonight! Nothing with queens, Nothing with crowns Bring on the lovers, liars and clowns! Old situations New complications Nothing portentous or pooooliiiite! Tragedy tomorrow, Comedy tonight! Now Pinkie was joined by a pair of stallions, both wearing golden masks of the grinning comedy face. They took up the next two lines, flanking Pinkie. Something convulsive, Something repulsive And then Pinkie jumped forward, flashing a smile directly towards Celestia and Cadance. Something for everyone: A comedy tonight! Something aesthetic She twirled to the right, jumping into the hooves of one of the masked stallions. Something balletic Something for everyone: A comedy tonight! Nothing with gods, nothing with fate; Now the masked stallions joined in again, all three singers coming together. Weighty affairs will just have to wait! Nothing that’s formal Nothing that’s normal! No recitations to recite; Open up the curtain! Flash motioned for the horns to move into a crescendo. The stallions both backed off stage as the curtain raised while Pinkie bobbed in place, the office that would be the genesis of the play’s theater based scheme slowly being revealed. Comedy….TONIGHT! Finishing her song, Pinkie giggled again, waving towards the set. “Our story begins here, in the office of Maximum Bounty, an unlucky producer who’s forced to seduce old mares to fund his productions.” Another motion from Flash dropped the music down to more ambient levels, Pinkie skipping off stage left. The first step seemed to have gone well. Now it was back in the hooves of the actors. - - - - “Great work Pinkie!” “Thanks Skitchy!” she grinned, taking a seat “Okay,” Skitch smirked, looking over the her and Twilight’s combined checklists, “So we got Marigold and Blue Bell on the first scene. Quartz, make sure your crew is ready to go to the tower scene.” The diamond dog gave a thumbs up, near a collection of painted trees, ready to be rolled onto the stage. “About three steps ahead of you.” “Now, where did Spring Fields get off too?” “Over here.” Spring came wandering up from the wardrobe room, now dressed in a robe of mismatched gold and deep green. Skitch grinned as she made her way over to them, “Ahh, there’s my Rose de Blue.” “With my non-rose cutie-mark,” she half sighed, half pouted. “Don’t worry, that’ll just be part of the joke. Doubly so when you play Sombra.” That made her bite her lip. “Are you sure about this? You want me to be known as the mare the played King Sombra.” Skitch...had honestly been expecting this. Expecting anypony to be eager and ready to play one of Equis’ more infamous rulers would be hopelessly naive on her part. Thankfully, she did have an angle. “Look, Spring? Back on earth, the writer of this play did it with the intention of making a very bad group of men and their philosophy look absolutely foolish. He wanted those men to never be taken seriously again. I am not asking you to glorify Sombra. What I want, is for you to go out there during that scene, and bury him. Something that I think you have more than enough acting skill to do.” It was true. For all of Spring Field's ego, she was good at her job. Then again, weren’t all actors somewhat known for their egos? It seemed to work too, as Spring seemed to perk up a bit. “Well, I suppose I can handle that.” “I know you can.” - - - - A shadow slid across the roof of The Palace, practically skittering between the glowing lights of its sign. Quill, jaw still set in a silent snarl, crept right for the roof hatch set right behind the metal edifice. It was there for maintenance, allowing workers to climb up and replace burnt out bulbs. Now, he used it to sneak into the building, creeping down the flight of stairs with the darkness trailing behind. It let out into the mess of scaffolding that stretched above the stage. The ponies working the lights stood on the tier just below Quill, oblivious to his presence. Grumbling under his breath, he crouched down to peer at what was going on down there. From his angle, he could see that the set was something of a city rooftop arrangement, complete with what looked like a pigeon coop in one corner. Marigold Button and two of the minor actors were crowded around it. One of them- a unicorn stallion- was wearing an onyx helmet. Squarish and angular it was shaped in the style of Sombra’s personal guard. The stallion was also practically cowering from the other two. “Relax, relax sir,” Marigold said with a raised hoof. “We’re not with the government. We’re here to talk about your play.” “M-my play? You mean Springtime for...you know who?” “Yes.” “What about it?” The stallion had snapped out that response so fast and intensely as to give Quill whiplash. Unless he was very much mistaken, that character was meant to him out of his gourd. “We love it! We think it’s a masterpiece and wish to produce it.” Again a wild moodswing the pony- that quill was now damn sure was a dig with him- practically jumping with unrestrained glee. “Oh! Oh joy of joys! Oh dream of dreams! I can’t believe it! I...I must tell the birds!” Quill’s anger simmered as the mockery grabbed the cage and and began to shake it, stuffed pigeons bouncing around on strings. “Birds! Birds! Birds! Do you hear? We’re going to clear Sombra’s name!” That tore it! He was going to make Skitch-Sketch suffer for this...insult! There were far too many ponies around right now to do something. But once the crowds cleared out, he could follow her. Then he’d make that...human...pay. - - - - “So...how are you liking it so far?” Twilight shifted in her seat, nervously glancing up at her mentor and Princess Cadance. Celestia’s expression was- as always- serene, though this time there was an undercurrent of contemplation there. Cadance was...amused. Half leaning forward in her seat, she allowed one hoof to dangle over the edge of the box, a slight smirk playing across her muzzle. “You know, Sombra would have disappeared Skitch for doing something like this back when he was in charge of the Empire.” Twilight winced. The reign of Sombra had been one of the many subjects Twilight had studied in her history courses. “I remember some of my lessons on that. No political dissent was allowed. I really wonder how some ponies can think he was innocent.” “The self imposed exile of House Sombra is probably a factor,” Celestia said, with a sad sigh. “So, they have the worst play ever written and director Rose has decided to play Sombra herself.” Spike interrupted. “We’re going to see a play within a play now?” “One part at least. A musical number. It’s also called Springtime for Sombra.” Celestia raised an eyebrow. “What kind of humor did Skitch say this production was based on again?” “I believe her exact words were ‘crosses the line twice’,” Twilight said. Before Celestia could ask for further clarification, spotlights were focused over the two entrances to the lower seats. The doors swung open as a line of ponies, dressed in their best, trotted down the isles. The way they moved, with a distinct one-two rhythm to their stride in time with the music, marked them as being part of the show. Heading straight for the section of seats that were roped off, they pulled the yellow bunting aside and sat down. One of the spotlights swung around focusing near the doors, where “Maximum Bounty” and “Lucky Bit” lurked. The curtain, closed with the last scene, began to rise with a fresh blare of horn dominated music from the orchestral pit. It was an upbeat tune, that matched the grins on the line of “crystal ponies” that were revealed. Twilight had to admit that the traditional costumes were spot on. Long cotton dresses on the mares, loose jerkins and tight tights on the stallions, all marked with geometric patterns meant to invoke the appearance of gems. Even their coats had been given a light dusting of some kind of powder to help give the gem like apperance. Then came the singing. The Empire was having trouble. What a sad, sad story. Needed a new leader to restore its former glory Where of where was he? Where could that pony be? We looked around and then we found. The pony for you and me! Throughout all of that, they had been mimicking looking around with greatly exaggerated pantomime. A few of the singers looked like they had been ready to fall over with the overdone motions. Then they twirled off stage as the second, inner curtain raised. A unicorn stallion waited on the other side, standing in front of a crystal arch. His outfit, while also period appropriate, was much more sinister, being the black sash over the diamond marked brown jerkin that was the symbol of Sombra’s secret police. He too had been given a bejeweled coat. Oh, Celestia! Skitch didn’t show me any of this! Twilight thought, cold sweat breaking across her forehead in dread. She isn’t going to have him sing, is she? Aaaaaand noooow iiiiiiiiiitttsssssss Springtime for Sombra and the Empire! He was singing. Our land, is happy and gay! We’re marching to a faster pace, Look out here comes the Master Race! Springtime for Sombra and the Empire My lands are fine lands once more Springtime for Sombra and the Empire! Watch out world, we’re going on tour Springtime for Sombra and the Empire Winter for Coltland and Prance. Springtime for Sombra and the Empire. Come on ponies, go into, your dance! To Twilight's growing horror four more unicorns came trotting through the crystal arch and began to do just that. The choreography even looked like it had been borrowed from actual unicorn battle tactics, for as they pranced and twirled across the stage, they’d snap their heads down and fire off harmless little sparkles of light, and snap them back up in unison. Explosions followed from just off stage, and Twilight could just picture Skitch standing in the wings, adding those sound effects. Another stallion, this one with the hood of his uniform up, stepped on from stage right and addressed the audience directly. Don’t be stupid, be a smarty, come and join the winning party! The fake audience groaned, just as it should, but there were a few disgusted reactions from the actual audience as well. A few ponies got up from the fake audience and stormed past Bounty and Bit, who sniggered. “Come on,” Maximum Bounty said. “Let’s get out of here before they kill us.” Twilight could have sworn that Celestia was looking at her but she didn’t dare look back to check. Instead she looked the other way, at Spike, who seemed to be fighting back giggles. “Sombra is coming!” came the shout from the stage, forcing Twilight to wrench her eyes back. “Hail Sombra!” the original unicorn shouted. “Hail Sombra!” the dancers responded. The fake crowd was really starting to leave now, even as the form of Sombra stepped...through...the arch…. She had completely forgotten that Skitch had a mare playing Sombra. The armor and cloak were all perfect. But coat had only been given a light dusting of grey, which made her look more desaturated than anything else. And the black wig and fake horn just looked...goofy. Not that it stopped her from waltzing right onto the stage, with a very Rarity-esq flip of her mane and bat of her eyes. It was so, completely absurd. Yet time seemed to hang still, until. Cadance exploded with laughter. Twilight almost jumped out of her seat and looked at her. She was almost doubled over the lip of the box, with one hoof pointing at the “Sombra” on stage. Everytime she tried to collect herself, she’d glance up at the faux Sombra and break into a fresh round of giggles. Her outburst uncorked a built up energy in the audience as more ponies began to laugh as well. Which was only added too as “Sombra” began to sing. Hail...myself. Hail to me. I’m the pony who’s out to change our history Hail myself, raise your hoof, there’s no greater dictator under the roof Everything I do, I do for you If you’re looking for a war, here’s a war for you! The music grew quieter as she trotted to the edge of the stage and sat down, the rest of her surroundings suddenly cast in shadow as spotlight focused on her. “Sombra” gave another bat of her eyes before throwing herself back in a swoon and continuing her song. I was just paper pusher, no one more obscurer Got a message from the nobles, now I am the ruler The Empire was blue, what, oh what to do? Slowly, she rose, climbing back to her hooves in a slow, deliberate and overly exaggerated motion. Hitched up my pants and conquered Prance Now the Empire’s smiling through! Doing a little twirl across the stage, the music began to build again, moving faster and more upbeat. Oh, it ain’t no mystery, if it's politics or history The thing you gotta know is, everything is show biz! Hail myself! Watch me go! We’re gonna take it all, don’t you know? We’re crossing borders, the new world order is here! Make a great big smile, everyone and hail, to me! Wonderful me! And now iittt’s….springtime The lights came back on, and Twilight did a double take. Now a whole squad of armored ponies were on the stage, marching forward side by side with almost mechanical precision. And all singing while they went, of course. Springtime for Sombra and the Empire! Marching forward, once more! Spells falling from the skies again! They all ducked their heads as a brilliant flash erupted from off stage. Crystals are on the rise again! Springtime for Sombra and the Empire. Armies are marching once more! Springtime for Sombra and The Empire! “Sombra” took the center stage again engaging in a shared verse with her army. You know we’ll be going, we got to be going, you know we’ll be going to….war! As the fake audience stomped their hooves in applause and laughed, it was joined by a growing amount of laughter from the actual audience. It was...mixed. If Twilight had to hazard a guess, a little over half of the ponies found the display amusing. The curtain went down and the fake audience began to file out, Twilight blinking at what she had just finished seeing. “I suppose the line has been skipped over, more than crossed,” Celestia said. “Princess, I am so, so sorry,” Twilight began. “Pfft. Twi, what are you apologizing for? That was hilarious! Dictator turned dancer!” Spike said, sweeping a hand through the air. Cadance giggled again. “Sombra would hit the roof if he saw this! I love it! A literary sock in the eye!” “Would you still be saying that if you didn’t want to ‘sock him in the eye’?” Celestia asked, one delicate eyebrow still arched skyward. “Duty. It’s my duty to sock him in the eye, if and when he comes back. There’s a difference. I’ll take this for now though!” Twilight shook her head. This was a strange night. - - - - If Quill didn’t want to kill Skitch before, Riche was damn sure that he’d want to after that display. Sombra as a total buffoon. That was a new one. Princess Cadance’s raucous laughter wasn’t much of a surprise in retrospect, considering her past. It was Princess Celestia’s infuriatingly calm aura that drove Riche right up the wall. For as crude as the production was turning out he would have expected her to be reacting more. Flinching at the rude jokes, shaking her head at the implication that her Equestria was less than perfect, doing...something, other than sitting there like a statue. Skitch-Sketch’s choice of production was an odd one in his mind. Definitely more dark in its humor than Equestria was used to, it was almost like she was throwing herself on her sword. There couldn’t really be a way that this would be a hit. Yet, doubt gnawed away at his stomach. She had obviously seen something in this play. What was it? What was her angle? He glanced furtively towards the box on his other side, where Blueblood and Fleur sat. Ever since the former walked out of his office, his mind had began to wonder what game the duke was playing. Well, there were always ponies and changelings in need of coin interested in spy work. If ponies wanted to try and undermine him, he could play just as hard. Already forming plans in his mind, he joined the audience in its smattering of hoof stomps. Best to not make things look anymore obvious after all. - - - - The mixed applause was good enough for Skitch. “Alright! Bar scene! Go, go! Extras, you too!” Her knees were weak, but there wasn’t time to worry about that. Just push on ahead. Scene changes and orders were given in a blur, Skitch acting more on instinct than anything else. The main thing in her mind was that she hadn’t exploded in flames yet and now it was the time to make the final gallop for the finish line. Calculations of disaster played out on stage, Bounty and Bit gnashing their teeth at the destruction of their dreams. Then came Furious Libel again, taking the place of the deranged ex-Nazi from the original work. The character’s attempt to kill the producers had been one of the things that she and Flash had clashed over in the rewrite. Skitch had wanted to keep it, Flash had wanted to lose it, based on the fact that it might have been a little too cynical. “I’ll kick your sorry rumps from here to Canterlot!” That had been the compromise. Attempted assault, rather than attempted murder. “Can’t win them all I suppose,” Skitch said to herself. Then came the attempt to blow up the theater scene and she immediately began to charge her horn, holding an illusion spell. Doing what she had supposedly been lured here to do in the first place, ironically enough. “The short fuse?!” came the cry from the stage. Time for the dynamite to go off! As three acting ponies dove off the stage and towards her, Skitch let the spell loose. A thundercrack was followed by a brilliant flash of light, the curtain slamming down right behind it. “Right, finale time! Get the court on stage! Rarity, can you get Copper Coin bandaged up?” “Of course darling.” “Blue Bell. This scene is all yours. Nail that speech!” “Okay!” They were back out on the stage with the extras, working through the last two scenes. Skitch squeezed her eyes shut, now waiting for the final reaction. The courtroom, then the prison, where the two producers were right back to where they were before. Working the con. The audience was quiet for what seemed like a horribly long moment. But then the applause began as Marigold, Blue Bell and Copper Coin took a bow. Much like the laughter, it wasn’t overwhelming. A mix of approval with those ponies who probably were still confused or horrified about the whole thing. The extras joined in the bow now, followed by the crew. Skitch slowly walked out onto the stage now, well aware of the hundreds of eyes staring down at her. That, with the mix of expressions were intimidating, but the applause lifted her spirits, at least a little bit. So, she bowed deeply, the tip of her snout almost brushing the wood of the stage. The applause faded away as she straightened back up. As the crowd continued to stare at her, Skitch realized that they were almost expecting a speech of some kind. “I would like to thank you all for coming tonight and seeing this interpretation of a classic bit of media from my home planet. I know that the sense of humor was a little...raw...but I hope that it was able to entertain all of you, all the same.” She rolled her eyes towards the boxes, bowing her head towards Celestia and Cadance. “I’d also like to thank the Princesses for joining us tonight and Nouveau Riche for giving me this opportunity in the first place.” The mortified look he had at that made Skitch smile. “Again, thank you all. And how about another round of applause for the very talented ponies who made this actually happen!” This round of applause was stronger than the last and as the curtain came down, Skitch could at least take comfort in the fact that the careers of all the actors counting on her would be okay. “Alright everyone. Let’s start to get this stuff put away. We did it.” Scenery began to be rolled to storage, while Rarity collected the costumes. Skitch moved through the ponies, adding her magic to the efforts where it was needed. “You got a lot of nerve, calling me out like that.” And there he is, Skitch thought, turning to face Riche. He was backed up by Blueblood, his brow twisted into a furious glower as he strode across the stage. She shrugged. “You started all of this Riche. However, I’m willing to have a discussion about my house with you.” “It was never yours in the first place.” Skitch shrugged again. “Maybe so. But I’m either going to take the money I’ve earned doing this job to make a down payment on a new mortgage. Orrrr....” “Or? Or what? What are you going on about?” “I can sell you the rights to this production. For my house.” “You can’t be serious,” Riche snorted, his eyes narrowing. “Are they even your rights to sell?” “I have as much authority as can exist in this situation, since it’s literally impossible for me to contact Mel Brooks,” Skitch said, waving the question away. “But, considering I did an adaptation and changed things around, this would be considered a transformative work under my country’s copyright law. I am as legally clear as I can be.” “In that case, I accept your generous offer,” Blueblood said. Pulling a slim and long black book and pen out of an inner pocket of his jacket, Blueblood began to write. “Let’s see...the cost of your house is sixty thousand? I will pay you ninety for the exclusive rights for your play.” “Blueblood...what are you doing?” Riche growled. “Making a profit, rather than chasing vendettas. The novelty factor alone will keep this play churning money for quite a bit.” “Tell ya what. Drop it to seventy five for me, throw in a nice bonus for everyone else-” “Sounds reasonable.” “And cover the tab for a killer cast party tonight.” “...Really? You do know those are traditional at the end of a production’s run.” Blueblood said, with a quite deadpan stare. “I just bought the rights. I intend to keep it going.” Skitch waved a hoof imperiously. “But I’m not going to be involved. And I want these ponies to have a good time tonight.” “Very well,” Blueblood nodded, tearing the check free from his book. “I shall arrange a payment through their agents.” Pulling another book out of his jacket, Blueblood scribbled something else down and channeled a spell. A quick whip of magic stamped against the page and it was passed over with the check. “Present that one at the bar of your choosing. The bill will be covered by my estate.” “This is completely ludicrous!” Riche snapped. Skitch was beaming as she snatched the both out of the air. “Congratulations Duke Blueblood! You now own 100% of The Producers! Mazel tov!” The temptation to giggle like a loon was quite strong. This was more money than she had ever gotten at once in her life before. But as her eyes reached the end of the seventy five thousand bits line, the sparkling blue of Rarity’s magic engulfed the check and yanked it away. “I’ll hang onto this my dear. You don’t have a hoofbag and we don’t want to lose this until you can get to the bank.” Rich’s eyes darted back and forth between Blueblood and Skitch before he sighed and shrugged. “Fine. So long as I get my money, you can have the stupid house back.” “Is that some sour grapes I hear Mister Riche?” Celestia, Cadance, Twilight and Spike now walked into the backstage area. Rich quickly dipped into a bow, as did everyone else. “Not at all your highness,” he said. “I am quite glad to hear that. It would be quite a disappointment to hear that one of my subjects was being so irrational,” she smiled. “If you’ll excuse me Princess, I do have other business to attend to tonight.” He quickly left, Celestia’s gaze following him for a moment, then she looked back at Skitch with a smile. “That was...an interesting production. Very...irreverent, I suppose.” “That’s Mel Brooks for you Princess.” “Indeed. It was...an experience. Are you considering another production?” Skitch shook her head. “Not anytime soon, Princess. At the very least, if I enter the theater world again, it’ll be on my terms.” “Quite understandable,” Celestia nodded. “Well, enjoy your victory. I am happy to see you building a home for yourself in Equestria.” As she and Cadance turned and walked off, the princess of love winked at Skitch. “I still think it was really funny.” Giggling, Skitch brandished Blueblood’s blank check for the night above her head. “Alright! As they say on my planet, let’s get wrecked!” - - - - Music blared from phonographs to the sound of hooves hammering across a dance floor, happy laughter and the clink of glasses. The music was raw, bold and brassy jazz, the tune rumbling along with the dancers. Joy was practically overflowing the room, fueled by relief from a long and hectic week of work. They had won, after a fashion and now was the time to celebrate. Flash raised a glass to his friend, the amber booze within threatening to spill over the edge. “Killer work with those sets Quartz. As expected.” “I could say the same for you and the music,” she nodded back, gently clinking her glass against Flash’s. The two had picked a table near the back of the chosen bar and sipped their drinks while they watched everyone else party around them. “Ehh. Not all of it. That Springtime number was mostly from the original production. Would have liked to have added some more musical bits.” Quartz shrugged and took a big gulp of her drink. “You could have pushed it more with Skitch. I think she would have been….receptive.” “...There was a pause there. Why was there a pause there?” Another drink. “You two got along quite well with each other, is all I’m saying.” Flash grunted, ignoring what he was sure was a hidden insinuation about his love life. Instead, he turned his thoughts towards what he might do to make The Producers even more of musical. There was plenty of opportunity, assuming that Duke Blueblood kept the current cast and crew arrangements. “Yo! Flash!” Skitch pushed her way through the crowd, beaming wide, a full glass bobbing back and forth just before her horn. “Please tell me you’re not drunk again. I really don’t want to have to clean up your sick again,” Flash said. “I am not drunk,” she countered, taking a restrained sip of her drink. “Just...pleasantly buzzed, I’d say.” “What brings you over to our table then? Shouldn’t you be with your friends?” “Ehh, Spike and Rarity ducked out early. Twilight’s...around here somewhere,” she muttered, peering around the crowd of ponies before shrugging. “Right now I’m going around and thanking everypony for putting up with my morose self for the week.” “Hey, you stuck by our sides. You could argue that we owe you.” “You could. But I’d fight you on that. Anyway, I figure that I owe you something else,” Skitch shrugged, draining the rest of her alcohol in one smooth chug. “What’s that?” “A dance where I don’t break down crying on the middle of the floor.” “Seriously?” Skitch chuckled, her eyes almost sparkling with merriment. “Flash. You tried to cheer me up and I blacked out on you. So, dance floor or not?” Flash stared at Skitch. Relaxed and happy looking, her long braid loosely resting against her neck, and her coat with a healthy glow to it, she was...pretty. With the makeup, very pretty. “Sure, why not.” - - - - This was Pinkie Pie’s element. The happy laugh of ponies had an energy all of its own that warmed her right down to the deepest depths of her heart. With the bill being handled by Blueblood tonight, she mostly kept kept her eyes on the amount everypony was drinking as she moved through the crowd. Over-drinking didn’t lead to happy ponies after all! It lead to hangovers and other yucky things. Slipping past a pair from the lightning crew who were chatting animatedly with each other, she spied Marigold holding court with some of the other actors. Having claimed a pair of tables against the wall directly across from the bar, Marigold was raising a glass to the group. Grinning to herself, she trotted forward, just in time to hear his toast. “...and while it was quite pleasant to work with you all, I have decided that this will be my point of retirement.” The warm feeling in Pinkie’s heart drained away. No! The play was supposed to make not want to retire! Quick as a fox, she zipped around Blue Bell’s right side and hit him with her widest, most sad eyes she could manage. “Please Mister Marigold! You can’t retire!” He sighed, gently patting her back. “Sorry kid. I’ve been doing this a long time. I’ve done enough of this game.” “But….your career could keep going! You’d be great in movies!” “Pinkie, I don’t want to be in movies. I have no desire to pull up stakes and move out to Las Pegasus. This is my home.” Pinkie slumped, mane and tail drooping. “...What’s the world supposed to do without your laughter? What am I going to do?” Sighing, Marigold waved to his fellow actors. “Hit the dance floor for a little bit, would ya?” They wandered away from the table, leaving Pinkie alone with her idol. She found herself trying very hard to avoid his stare. It was like being glared at by her mom when she had done something wrong. “I get the feeling this is important to you. Why?” Pinkie frowned, nervously tapping her hooves together. “Because...I grew up listening to you. I’m not sure I’d be the pony I am today if I your performances didn’t help me giggle myself to sleep.” Marigold chuckled. “Yeah. I know that feeling. My idol was Charging Cheer. Don’t think he’s really well known outside of Manehatten, but I was devastated when he decided to retire. But, here’s the real trick.” He leaned forward slightly and winked. “A little bit of his routines carry on in mine.” “Really?” Pinkie sniffed. “Yup. He could handle a heckler with the best of them. Something that I decided to master as well. And I gotta wonder why the Element of Laughter needs this old stallion to hang around.” He waved a hoof towards the bar’s door. “Shouldn’t you be out there, making your own laughs in the world?” Pinkie drooped a little more, resting her head on the table. “I guess. I more plan parties than tell jokes though.” “No reason you can’t learn, just the way I did.” Pinkie’s ears perked up, a thought bouncing its way through her mind. “Ooo! What about teaching?” Marigold’s glass paused halfway to his lips and he peered past it with one of the more confused expressions Pinkie had seen in her life. “Pardon?” “You’ve been acting and performing for a long time! You could teach the next generation of Manehatten’s performers how it's done! That way, your techniques won’t be forgotten!” Slowly swirling his drink, Marigold’s brown furrowed in thought. “I suppose that’s possible. I have some friends who retired from the business who could use something to do again.” He smiled, “I’ll think about it, kid.” Pinkie grinned. It was something. - - - - Eventually, the party had to end. As the last party-goers filed out of the building Skitch found herself being supported by Flash and Twilight, one foreleg draped over each of their withers. Those last two glasses of gin had been a mistake, having pushed her past buzzed and into drunk territory.Though not as drunk as she had been the last time. “Those last two glasses were a mistake,” Flash said, voicing the realization back of her mind. “I know Flassh. But it was a party.” Yawning, she leaned against his body a little more. “Do...do you think you can help me get back to my hotel?” Flash examined the street. It was late enough that most of the carriages weren’t out on the streets now, save for the few thestrals that plied that trade. They’d have to hoof it. Sighing, he craned his neck to look at Twilight. “You know the way?” “I do!” Pinkie said, interrupting Twilight and springing ahead of the pair. “Follow me!” “Alright, come on. Quartz, I’ll catch up with you later.” “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t,” she chuckled. Manehatten’s streets grew quieter as they moved away from the bars and restaurants that catered to the late night crowds. Pinkie lead the way like a candy colored beacon, humming to herself all the while. Skitch stumbled along with Twilight and Flash’s support. Maybe it was just the booze talking, but Flash’s coat felt very fuzzy and warm as she half leaned against him. And soft. Very soft. And nice. Now she was mentally rambling. …Also, she owed Twilight an apology. “Thanks again Flash. “Don’t worry about it.” “No, sheriously. Enough poniesh think that I’m somethin’ scary. You’ve been nice. Thanksh for being nice.” “...You’re welcome Skitch.” “And Twilight...I’m shorry I blew off your concerns. I just...I dunno. I shaw a chance ta get my house back and took it. But you were lookin’ out for me and I blew you off.” “It’s okay Skitch. If I lost my home...twice...I’m not sure I would have listened either.” “I’m just glad that it’sh all done,” Skitch said, her tail giving an angry flick. “I shwear if I shaw Quill one more time, I wash gonna punch him right in the jaw! I fink I hate him even more than Riche.” “Really? Even though Riche was behind all of this?” Flash asked. “Riche is a corporate dickweed! An annoying, petty corporate dickweed. A pain in my flank, but hish motivations are easy to understand. Quill? He’s...much more shtupid and offensive. He makes me want to vomit and I would dearly want to kick his ass if it wouldn’t get me arrested.” “S-skitch! That’s horrible!” Twilight admonished, her jaw dropping open in shock. “Yeah!” Pinkie agreed. “We weren’t even that mean to Black Snooty!” “Why do you hate him so much?” Twilight asked. Skitch shuddered, a sneer curling her lips formed from a mixture of anger and disgust. “Because he shouldn’t be, damn it! This ish Equeshtira!” “...What does that have to do with anything?” Flash asked. “Look...back at home, back on earth? ...There was this group of people who did...very, very bad things to mine. Almost ash bad ash making a whole country dishappear. But despite all the evidence, all the documentation, seventy-ish years on from...that event, there are horrible, shtupid, twisted people who say that it didn’t happen! Or who say it wasn’t that bad!” Skitch pulled her leg from Twilight’s back, rubbing at her eyes. “One of the things I’ve been able to tell myself, to help deal with the fact that...I’m never going to see home again, is that...well...Equestria is really nice. This is a nice country and you ponies? You’re all so friendly! And then this asshole comes along and acts just like those people back home! He accuses Celestia of being involved in hiding the truth! Celestia! An absolute monarch whose so pure and nice, she makes Mister Rogers look like Mike Tyson!” Twilight winced. “...Uhh...Skitch, you’re doing that thing with the names out of context again…” “My point is, that he’s a stuck up, spoiled brat, mouthin off about shit he’s got no clue about, who reminds me of the people who deny that one of the worst events to ever happen in earth’s history ever happened! I. Hate. Him.” With her peace said, Skitch lapsed back into silence, now leaning almost completely against Flash as they walked. Twilight bit her lip, Skitch’s words churning over and over in her mind. “Skitch? Have you considered...letting it go?” she asked after a few minutes of thought. “Wha?” Skitch blinked through her alcohol induced haze. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that what he’s said about Celestia or Sombra is right or anything. But...I don’t know,” Twilight sighed. “Holding a grudge doesn’t seem healthy. What if we had held a grudge against humans for what The Collector did?” “I don’t think that it's exactly the same….” “Maybe. But, Equestria is based on the principles of harmony. We try to forgive and get along and be friends with each other. That’s what Princess Celestia always taught me.” “I don’t think it’s possible to be friends with that stallion,” Flash said with a deadpan expression. Twilight shot him an annoyed glare. “Not helping Flash.” “Look, I’m just saying that not everypony can be friends with everypony else.” “That’s no excuse to not at least try! To try and be the better pony!” Skitch grunted. “Can we talk about something else please?” Pinkie, who had started to look really uncomfortable about the direction the conversation had been taking, suddenly perked up. “Ooo! Skitchy! We have to throw you a house warming party once you get your house back!” Skitch giggled. “Does it half to be housewarming? What about house cooling?” “But Skitchy, where would I get enough ice?” Skitch broke into a giggle-snort that was joined by Flash and Pinkie as they rounded a corner. But they hadn’t taken more than a few more steps when something dove out of a shadow choked alleyway and slammed into Skitch. Sent into a tangled topple with Flash, Skitch scrambled to get back to her hooves. The world swayed like the rolling deck of a ship, her legs threatening to give out from under her. “Oh alcohol, you bitch.” A dark cloaked unicorn came galloping at her, brandishing a metal garbage can lid in his aura. “Garbage am I? I’ll show you who’s garbage!” The voice punctured through Skitch’s alcohol fueled daze and she blinked at him through bleary eyes. “Fucking...Quill?” There was a blur of pink as Pinkie jumped in, throwing her hip into Quill’s, sending him off balance and his top hat tumbling. “Quill?” Flash gaped as he righted himself. “What in Tartarus are you doing?” Quill shot Skitch a venomous glare through green stained eyes, that almost leaked malice. “I am going to break that human’s neck!” Even through her drunk state, the color of Quill’s eyes and their significance was not lost upon Skitch. “Ishat dark magic? Did you turn to dark magic just because I fired you? How damn pathetic are you?” “You’re really not helping the situation Skitch!” Flash shouted. “You insult my career, steal my play, threaten me at my home and then make a mockery of me in your production,” Quill snarled. “I should stomp your head in!” Skitch growled back, her head down, ears flattened and tail thrashing. The alcohol fueled her anger. “Go jump in whatever this world’s vershion of the East River is! I’ve never been to yer damn home and I had to change the Hitler apologist to something in order to make the whole damn thing work!” Twisting magic rolled off Quill’s horn as he threw himself towards Skitch with a furious cry. Flash, Pinkie and Twilight immediately jumped into action. Flash and Pinkie jumped towards Quill tackling him to the ground, while Twilight swooped down on Skitch, her horn alight with magic. “Skitch! Quill! Stop it!” “You’re in on it! You’re all in on it! The alicorns made the Crystal Empire disappear and they framed my ancestor!” Quill shouted, trying to buck Flash and Pinkie off of him. “There is nothing to be in on!” Skitch roared back, trying to storm past Twilight with a raised hoof, only to be grabbed by her magic. “Then why were you against me in the first place! You never gave me a chance!” “Fuck you! You candy coated, pathetic, descendant of a dictator-” With a roar and burst of dark magic, Quill threw Pinkie and Flash from him and charged. Skitch drunkenly swayed in response, her horn glowing in sputtering fits. “Come on!” she snarled. “Hit me!” But she vanished, along with Twilight, reappearing on the other side of the street. Twilight immediately fired a blast of magic back across the street, blasting Quill in the back and sending him toppling into a trashcan. As quickly as he scrambled back to his hooves, he was sent smashing back to the ground as Flash swooped in, delivering a strong buck to his side. Quill rolled over, jumped up again and with an angry shout, tore off into the night. Twilight watched him go, considering chasing after, but decided against it. For all she knew, he might try to loop back around and attack Skitch when she was isolated again. She whirled around on her drunken friend, her anger spiking. “Sun above Skitch, what in Tartarus was that! Why did you antagonize him! Is holding some grudge over events that never happened on this planet, worth possibly getting yourself, or somepony else hurt?” For this, Skitch seemed to have no answer as she swayed there, head now downcast. “I dunno. He just made me so angry. I just...I had to do something.” Twilight sighed. “...Alright Skitch...let’s just go home, okay?” “Okay.” As they began to walk back to the hotel, Twilight was sure of one thing. Something had to change.