Lunch was uneventful. Two lovers that were able to hide most of their feelings behind professional masks and discussions. Saying their farewells for the rest of the day Star made his way to the first floor front exit. There, standing with scars still healing on her cutie marks, was Toffee.
She was looking at the threshold that divided the small entry and exit way from the gravel just beyond.
“Trying to find a reason to stay?” Star asked startling the young mare.
“No, I was thinking of how fragile freedom is. Are you here to see me off?”
“Actually, I have some news,” he said stopping a ways behind her. He knew better than to stand within kick range of a patient.
“What’s that? Recommitting me?” she said looking sad.
“No, and no need to play the games,” he said walking to her side and lowering his voice. “I got you out. I have the bits you need to get wherever you need to go. Now, tell me,” he hissed, “what do you know?” She took the bag of bits and roll of paperwork and put them into her saddlebags.
A wicked grin crossed her mouth as her eyes narrowed. She turned to face him and glanced around. They were, effectively alone. “Where’s your shadow? The yellow pony I saw you with earlier?”
“I ditched him, but he’s smart. Now, tell me.”
“I don’t have to say anything, doctor. I have everything I need,” she changed to a warm smile, “see you later,” she chirped as she exited the door.
“Wait,” he said harshly standing at the threshold and glaring at her as she stopped and turned around, “you will answer me. What do you know?” he asked in a stage whisper so as to not garner too much attention.
“Oh, silly stallion,” she pouted looking at him, “why don’t you come and make me tell you?”
“I will not play such games, girl. We had a type of deal, you have to pay up. It’s how it works.”
“Oh, is it now?”
“Yes!” he replied loudly. A little too loudly. His ears folded to his head and he looked back; no pony heard him. He returned his attention to Toffee. “Please,” he asked, “just, give me something.”
“I can’t hear you over the wind and birds, come closer.”
He furrowed his brow and stomped his hoof before snorting and looking behind him. The halls were still clear of staff, but a patient was walking by.
“Fine,” he growled as he raised his right forehoof and brought it to the threshold.
“Well?”
“I’m coming, just…”
“Just what? I’m right here, but I think it’s getting heavy on this hill and I’m being dragged back, uh-oh.” She took a slow step back.
“W-wait, j-j-just l-let m-m-me…”
“Put your hoof out of the door, Star. I’ll tell you something for every step you take.”
The offer was more than he could pass up, but he was trembling so much, just trying to take a simple step out of a side door.
“W-w-w-wh-why’s this s-so h-h-hard?”
“Not. ONE. Answer, until you come to me. Uh-oh, another step back…”
“S-stop! I-I’m…” He closed his eyes tight and felt the blood leave his head and neck leaving a chill through his body. He felt icy cold blood running through his veins as he forced his step out of the doorway.
The moment his hoof touched the gravel he felt normal again, except for a lot of tingles running across his skin and a swimming in his vision.
He looked to see a grinning mare ahead of him.
He was panting heavily and beginning to sweat, his legs were trembling and he felt a deep sadness inside him as he walked toward her.
“T-T-To-ffee. Wh-what?”
“What’s your name?”
“D-Doc-tor S-tar,” he stammered through the emotional turmoil he was feeling. Should he cry or laugh? Talk or be silent? Anxiety or enthusiasm? He couldn’t feel what was right.
“What’s your real name?” she encouraged.
“Th-they won’t ch-change m-my n-n-name.”
“What won’t they change it from?”
“Epic Start.”
“Ah, that explains something. Let me ask you a rhetorical question, Epic,” she asked walking to his side and tapping his cutie mark before spitting into her hoof and wiping it across his flank roughly, “what is that?”
“M-my c-cut-tie m-mark?”
“When was the last time you looked at it?”
He hesitated, lost in thought. “I-I don’t kn-know,” he replied, still trembling.
“Look now.”
He looked back and his vision swam again causing him to stumbled sideways. “C-can’t. D-diz-zy.”
“You’re not too bright for such an experienced elder stallion. Lay down and look if you have to.”
He twisted his head and used the momentum to fall to his right side and looked at the mare before him as his vision clarified. He turned and looked as his vision swam again.
“Can’t see. M-my eyes.”
“Oh, for Celestia’s sake,” she grumbled as she grabbed his head and forcibly turned it so he could look at his back half.
His vision cleared and his breath caught in his throat.
“B-b-b-b-b…”
“Blank flank, and at your age? When we first met it was painted on, very well, but still, paint isn’t colored fur.”
He looked at her with wide eyes and short breaths. “B-b-b-b-b-b-b-”
“Yes, it’s a great sound, isn’t it.” she commented, “but it’s not a word. Here’s another question. How old are you?”
“F-f-fourty s-sev-ven.”
“And you’re a blank flank? Think about it, Epic, where do you live?”
“H-hoof-ing-t-ton.”
“Ah, in a house?”
“Apartment,” he replied.
“Alone?”
“Yes.”
“Yay,” she stomped in approval, “a word without stammering. Anyway, tell me about your apartment.”
“N-no. This h-has n-nothing-”
“It has everything,” she said softly, placing a hoof to his cheek as he laid his head down. “Now, tell me.”
“It’s small,” he said as he imagined his place, “about five lengths square. A room with my bed and a window, a small kitchenette and table, and a door.”
“Really, now? Sounds kind of like a small place. Almost the same size as the cell you stayed in during your day up there.”
His eyes widened. It made sense. He thought hard about his room. Stone floors. Why stone in his apartment? Plywood walls? Why so cheap? A metal frame futon and it was… always made when he left the room with his… guard. A royal guard. Always at least one.
“W-what am I?”
“Oh, Epic Start, don’t you see?” she replied happily, “you’re insane,” his vision swam as the realization washed over him, “more insane than any pony I’ve met, actually. You see, you actually believe you’re a doctor so deeply that they actually employed you! Now, that’s a delusion.”
“B-but…” he felt his eyes watering, “what about Jewel, or Toes, or anypony I know?”
“Well, if I had to ask; what’s your relation with-”
“Da-- I mean... Doctor Star, are you okay?!” Toes shouted galloping out of the hospital, “What happened? Why’s he out here?”
“Play dead,” she said quickly donning a worried face.
“I don’t know,” Toffee replied panicking, “he was saying goodbye and walked out with me then fell over. Is he okay?”
“I-I don’t know, I have to get mom. I’ll be right back,” Toes shouted in a panic galloping back into the hospital.
“And now we know, don’t we?”
Epic sobbed softly as he kept his eyes closed and forced himself up. “I-I… What do I do? Please, help me.”
She smiled. “Well, I guess you’re with me now. Follow me, I have a ride.”
“Wh-what? Th-th-”
“Shut up and follow me, it’s time to go.”
She galloped ahead and down the path around a corner. He stumbled and began a quick trot which turned to a gallop, nearly running into a cab being pulled by a green pegasus.
“Get in, we’re leaving in style,” she grinned, tapping the open seat next to him. He got in and held on as the pegasi took to the air, shouts from behind them, one of Mind Mend, as he grit his teeth and let his past go.
“I h-have to won-on-der, if this’ my first time ever l-l-leaving.”
“Perhaps,” she shouted as the wind rushed by, “but who knows? Who cares? You’re out here now, just live!” she screamed happily opening her forelegs and embracing the wind.