He ran the rest of the way to the orchard. He had a bad feeling about what had just happened. Sombra, who until now had sprouted nothing but insults and self-assured bullshit, had calmly told him that shit was gonna go down. Jax didn’t like it one bit.
He ran blindly ahead, past tree after tree, not wanting to stop and look around. Sombra had gone quiet again, which was not a good sign. Jax had to assure himself that Sombra couldn’t do anything. There was nothing he could do. What could he do? Nothing! He couldn’t use spells, he was trapped inside of Jax… And there was no way Jax would let him take over his body willingly. Sombra could do nothing… Nothing at all.
Then why couldn’t he shake the feeling that Sombra was planning something?
He found Celestia sitting between two trees without her regalia, eyes closed, head tilted upwards. Her mane, much like Luna’s, fluttered in its own wind, completely ignoring the actual wind that had made Jax’ run harder, and she had a small smile on her muzzle that made the whole image seem unbelievably peaceful. Jax stopped his frantic running to take it all in, and calmed down slowly. He still breathed hard, and the heat he felt from the run was uncomfortable, but looking at Celestia, he somehow got the feeling that everything was going to be okay.
After a few more deep breaths, Celestia finally turned her head towards him and opened her eyes. A look of concern crossed her face, and she made her way over to him with quick, yet somehow elegant, steps.
Jax was suddenly painfully aware of how sweaty he had become, before shaking off the feeling. There were worse things to be concerned about.
“Jax? Did something happen?” Celestia sounded concerned, but still waited patiently as he took a couple more deep breaths. The smell of apple trees calmed him further, and he almost felt like he was overreacting.
Almost.
“I…” He wasn’t sure how to explain himself. Would she think he was being silly? Sombra couldn’t do anything… And if he did, one of his friends would be nearby.
Somehow Celestia seemed to understand what was going through his head. How she could, he didn’t quite know. Maybe it had something to do with her massive experience… whatever it was, she gave him a calming smile, and laid down. She indicated the spot in front of her with her head. “Please, sit.”
Jax did so, his legs happy for the relief. He didn’t quite know what to think at the moment, so he was following along. He looked down at Celestia, waiting for her to continue. He should just tell her… But was it really important? It didn’t really change anything. She wouldn’t be able to do anything about it anyway, and they would continue with the plan as was.
“Jax.” He focused on Celestia when she started speaking with a calm voice. “I can see that there is something troubling you, yet you hesitate to tell me. I want you to know that I listen to the problems of all my subjects, you included. No matter how insignificant you think it is, I will listen.” She looked concerned again. She reminded Jax of a mother looking at her child… it hurt to remember that his own mother would never look at him like that again.
‘Is she doing it on purpose?’
… Was that Sombra? Or was it his own stray thought? Without the idiocy behind Sombra’s normal words, Jax couldn’t tell.
‘Probably not… she probably doesn’t know she’s hurting me with it.’
“It’s Sombra. He told me that he is no longer on a negative magic high.” He finally told her with a frown.
Celestia frowned. “You mean everything he did was because of a negative magic high?” She sounded a bit alarmed.
“No, he said he’s finally able to think clearly and we will make the world bow to us.” Celestia sighed in relief. “What exactly is a negative magic high? You said that the positive one makes you generous to a crazy degree?”
“Well that is a relief at least. I would hate to have two ponies condemned to a thousand year banishment when they weren’t even fully in control of themselves.” Celestia closed her eyes for a moment, before opening them and continuing. “As you know, there are two types of magic… three if you count chaotic magic, but ponies can’t normally access that. Most of our spells draw on positive magic, which doesn’t have any immediate consequences when done correctly. The spells that draw on negative magic are different however. They draw in more and more negative magic into your body, until you lose yourself to it in what is called a negative magic high. I think this is how Sombra ended up in that state, and it is why so called ‘dark magic’ is forbidden. While a positive magic high makes you give away everything you own, a negative magic high is focused on taking and keeping what you believe to be yours, doing anything to accomplish that goal. That is why they are called Takers. Luna came to believe that ponies did not appreciate her night, so to accomplish her goal she was going to make night eternal. Logic doesn’t matter to a pony under a negative magic high, and if they don’t have enough power to accomplish their goal, they will find power first. Even if it means using forbidden magic… even if it means letting a parasite into their body…” The sadness in her voice was so thick he almost got tears in his eyes. Her eyes gazed over as if looking at an old memory. “I should have seen it coming… I should have done something.” Her eyes shut, as if she was trying to prevent the tears from escaping. Her efforts were in vain, and tears slowly made their way out and ran down her white fur. “I apologize… It’s an old wound that still hurts. Sometimes more than I’m prepared for…” She told him between sobs.
Jax felt his own eyes start to water. He was not prepared for this either. Celestia and Luna both suffered a lot because of what happened… And they both had to pay a thousand years apart for their actions, or lack thereof. His heart went out to both of them.
Acting on intuition, he learned forward and hugged her, and she instantly latched a hoof behind his head, holding him close while she cried. He didn’t mind much, but he was happy Luna wasn’t there. He didn’t want her to get the wrong idea or something. Other than that, it actually didn’t feel as awkward as he thought it would. Celestia worked hard to keep the country running, and if she needed a shoulder to cry on sometimes, he didn’t mind being there for her, even when he didn’t know her very well. Despite not knowing each other very well, she had still just offered him that he could tell her anything, and she would listen, so it wasn’t just him that felt that way. Besides… she might one day become his sister-in-law.
He dried off some of his own stray tears. This tale got to him every time, it was just too sad. A thousand years was way too long!
After some minutes, Celestia composed herself. “Thank you, Jax.” She said as she relaxed her hold on him, without letting him entirely go. He noticed that he had been stroking her mane out of habit, and stopped, but didn’t move beyond that. He felt like she still needed to hug someone.
“No problem. I tried to think of something to say, but I couldn’t think of anything.”
Celestia chuckled quietly, though her voice was still laced with tears. “I don’t think there’s anything left to say. Now that Luna is back, the wound can heal slowly… and maybe one day I’ll forgive myself for not being there for her when she needed me the most…” They sat/laid in silence for a while. Jax still didn’t know what to say. He wanted to tell a joke but his mind was completely blank… and it probably wasn’t the right time. “You know… it’s so hard for me not to smother her with attention.” Celestia continued.
Jax smiled at the image of Celestia being glued to Luna much like he had been. “I don’t think she would want you to.” He admitted, looking up at the apple trees nearby. Some of the leaves had started falling off, but the ones that still held on to it were an interesting mix of green, red and orange.
Celestia sighed. “I know. That’s why I don’t do it. Part of me wants to be the responsible big sister that I’ve always been, while the other part wants to be a doting mother. I’m having a hard time finding a middle point.” She admitted.
Jax’ hand started stroking her again. “Well, I’d say… go home and spend some time with her after you’re done here. Tell her you love her. Play a game of chess or something, she’s good at it. Just because she wouldn’t want you to smother her, doesn’t mean she doesn’t want to spend time together. I get the feeling she admires you a lot, and you’re not the only one to regret her actions back then. It would be good for you both to talk it out.”
Celestia’s body shook lightly, and he realized that it was because she was laughing silently. “I can understand why Luna likes you so much. You’re very calming to be around.”
Jax laughed a little at that. He looked up at the clouded sky. They should probably start doing their work soon. “You think so? I think Luna said something similar at some point.”
“I do. It’s refreshing to be treated like any other pony.”
Jax snorted in amusement and looked down at her. “I’m glad my lack of manners accomplished something.”
Celestia laughed some more. “After having ponies bow down in front of me and keep their distance to not appear ‘rude’ for centuries on end, I can say that it’s not all as great as one might think.” She pulled back, and her smile faded away. “I would like to apologize. This was supposed to be about you and Sombra.”
Jax waved away her concerns. He felt better after hearing Celestia’s problem, and it did seem kind of silly now. Sombra couldn’t do anything… hopefully. “It’s not like we can do anything about it right? And if you’re willing to listen to me, then I should be willing to listen to you.”
Celestia nodded, looking serious. “I’m glad you shared it with me, in any case. It might prove important… or it might be nothing more than a bluff.” She looked at him for a moment longer before looking away. “Listen, Jax… There’s something else I would like to talk to you about.”
“Alright?” He asked when she didn’t continue. She looked almost uncomfortable. She gathered herself and continued.
“If you… If you really want to be with Luna, I need you to promise… that you will never fall in love with me.” She was actually blushing through her white coat, which was much more visible than when Luna did it. He felt like he was seeing a side of Celestia few have seen before.
For a moment he just looked at her, nonplussed. Then he burst out laughing. Celestia looked somewhere between indignified and anxious.
“Actually…” He said when he had calmed down. “Actually there’s a promise I don’t mind giving.” He cleared his throat. “I promise to be more loyal than Rainbow Dash. If Rainbow Dash is ever unable to be there as the element of harmony, I’ll be a suitable substitute.” He smiled widely at Celestia, who gave him a relieved smile.
“That is good to hear, though I doubt you could be an element if you wanted, with how your body reacts to magic.”
“Details.” He waved off her concerns. He had no idea how the girls brought the elements forth without the actual elements of harmony anyway, and he doubted someone could just ‘take over’. A frown found its way to his face again when he thought of something. “If I had more control of it, you could just use a spell on me and I would be able to do anything with Sombra.”
Celestia sighed and put a hoof on his shoulder. “I am sorry Jax, but with how chaotic magic works, and how little control you have over it, you could end up making the situation worse… do you understand?”
He knew she was right, but it hurt to hear her say it. He couldn’t take that chance, Sombra couldn’t be accidently let lose because of him. He really wished he could say ‘fuck the consequences’ and just do it though… there was a chance nothing bad would happen. He almost had control of the magic, it just deviated slightly from what he wanted, so little he could almost accept it.
‘She probably wouldn’t be saying that if it was Twilight being possessed.’
… No. She probably wouldn’t. But it wasn’t Twilight. It was him.
Jax nodded reluctantly. “I understand. We can’t take that kind of chance.”
Celestia looked at him in doubt before sighing. This time she was the one to pull him into a hug. “If life was a little easier, we wouldn’t have to worry about such things, and I hate that you have to carry this burden for ponykind, especially after all the rumours being spread about you by some of them. But such is life. We must struggle through it, no matter what obstacles stand in our way. I can imagine that it would be boring otherwise… or so I tell myself after another villain comes along and endangers all I’ve worked so hard for.” There was a weight behind her words that made Jax feel like a child. Celestia had lived longer than any other being he knew, not counting Luna. If she could get through all the bullshit she had to deal with over the years, then one measly villain shouldn’t be a problem for him.
He embraced the feeling. He could do this, no problem.
“We should probably get to work.” Jax reminded her.
“I’ve actually done a lot of it while you were out with your friend.” She informed him. “But you are right. Let us help Applejack with her farm. It’s refreshing to do this kind of work.”
“I can imagine that it’s a nice contrast to sitting on a throne.” He said as they went over to a nearby apple tree. The baskets were already positioned under it, all that was needed was a kick, which Celestia delivered. The apples fell neatly into the basket, like they had every other day when one of the Apples kicked. Jax had stopped trying to think of the logic of it all. Who cared anyway. This world just operated on its own logic, he should stop comparing it to his own just because it was so similar.
“Yes, you’re right. Did you know I actually knew the pony who invented apple bucking?” Celestia suddenly changed the topic.
“Really?”
“Oh yes. It was a long time ago, it was an earth pony mare named Strong Apple. She was a very talkative individual, and used to come all the way to the castle with her apples just to chat with me…” She told him with a fond smile and a gaze that saw years back.
Jax kept talking with Celestia for a long time. She would tell him about some stuff that happened years back. It was interesting to hear about and Celestia seemed like she enjoyed telling him, though she did look sad the times she mentioned somepony dying.
They worked meanwhile, bucking a lot of trees and transporting the baskets to the barn. All the elements of harmony looked kind of uncomfortable at seeing their princess work except Pinkie who just looked happy. Big Mac looked uncomfortable as well, but that was when he looked at Jax.
‘Ungrateful…’
“Hey Jaxie!” Pinkie appeared out of nowhere, as she does. To his defense, he was only a little surprised and he recovered quickly.
“Hey Pinks. What’s up?” The clouds were now thick overhead and it was almost evening. The wind had picked up, and if the weather schedule didn’t say that it was only going to rain, he would have thought there was going to be a storm.
“I just wanted to remind you that you are going to be singing at the party tonight! With all the stuff that’s been happening lately, I’m sure you forgot, but don’t worry, I’ve got your back!” Pinkie told him with a huge smile.
“Party? What party? What singing?” Jax was drawing a blank.
“See? I knew you would forget. The Welcome to Ponyvile slash Birthday party that’s being hosted tonight for Octavia and Vinyl, Ponyvile’s newest residents! I’ve been holding back on their Welcome to Ponyville party because they wanted to have it with the birthday party, which I don’t understand because they could just have had TWO parties, but if that’s what they want…. So see you tonight at city hall! Don’t forget you have to sing the first song as well!” She then sped off at the speed of Pinkie.
Jax looked after her. Then he face-palmed. “I completely forgot all about that… I’m even getting paid and everything.”
Celestia chuckled beside him. “Then it’s a good thing you have a friend to remind you. I suggest you get home and wash off the grime of today’s work. I hope you don’t mind if I use your facilities to do the same.”
Jax looked at the farm longingly. They had food in there… When exactly was the party starting? Pinkie hadn’t given her a precise time… and he was technically a hired musician… There would probably be food at the party as well… He sighed. “No, of course not. If it’s big enough for Luna, it’s probably big enough for you as well. Let’s go.” He started walking towards his house.
“You should explain that to Luna. She acts like I’m bigger than the sun.” She laughed.
“Being bigger isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It’s not like you’re fat.” Jax pointed out. There was no denying that Celestia was big though.
She looked back at her body. “I could stand to lose a few, I’m afraid that all that cake over the centuries adds up. I mean, look at the size of these thighs!” She proceeded to show off her backside to him. Naturally he didn’t know how much he was allowed to stare, and not sure if he wanted to anyway, he averted his eyes. “Luna has much-“ She continued but he could see where this was going. She was teasing him, and two could play at that game.
“Yes, Luna has the better coat and eye colour, not to mention her mane is much cooler than yours, but there’s no reason to be jealous. You’re beautiful in your own way, Celestia.” He smiled at her, showing that he was joking.
Her scoff was undermined by her smile. “Well, if that’s how you feel, I’m not going to share my cake with you.”
“I don’t think that helps your figure though.”
They both laughed merrily as they made their way through the orchard, to Jax’ house.
***
“I can’t believe I forgot!” Jax exclaimed. “How could I have forgotten? Even when Pinkie reminded me! All the way from the orchard to my house, and from there to here… What was I thinking?!” Jax was almost panicking. He and Celestia were at the party, and Pinkie had just informed him that he was the opening song… except he hadn’t thought of what song he wanted to sing. He had no idea what to sing, and he was drawing a blank every time he tried to think of something. He should have found a song to practice, but he got distracted by all the events around him. Now all the lyrics he thought he had memorized from hearing so often were slipping from his mind like water down the drain. So many songs he knew by heart, all of them failing him when he needed them the most.
He and Celestia were standing behind the stage that had been set up, no doubt by Pinkie. He knew because it was pink and overly decorated with banners and balloons, much like the rest of the hall was. A big banner hang from the roof, reading ‘Welcome to Ponyville, Vinyl and Octavia!’ and underneath that was a banner that said ‘Happy Birthday, Vinyl!’
Panicked as he was, Jax could still appreciate the extend of Pinkie’s dedication to a good party. It was clear that she had put a lot of work into it, and the gathered ponies all seemed excited about it. As would he be, if he could relax.
“Jax, please calm down. I am sure the music will come to you when you need it, flowing straight from your heart.” She assured him.
“From my heart?” He stopped and looked at her. “I don’t care if it comes from my... anyway, I just don’t want to stand up there, dumbfounded while these damn giant-eyed ponies stare at me. Do you know how that feels? It feels unbearably awkward.”
Celestia laughed softly. Jax stopped pacing and looked at her, a desperate idea forming.
“You! You’re the princess! Of course, this is perfect. Okay, change of plans, you go up there instead of me. They can’t really complain, I mean, who gets to have Princess Celestia herself sing the opening song of their party? They will be ecstatic! That’s it, that’s the master plan!” He started pacing again, this time with excitement.
“No.”
“And I can have some punch, and cupcakes, and muffins and cake and what do you mean no?!” He stopped and looked at her again.
“You made a promise. I will not help you break it.” She said with a sort of finality that made him shiver a little.
“Alright, alright, let me think of something else then…”
“There you are silly! Come on, it’s time!” What happened next, Jax wasn’t entirely sure. There was a brief feeling of motion, like he was being carried, and then before he knew it, he was up on the stage and a mic was thrust into his hands. To say that he was confused was an understatement.
“Hello everypony! I hope you’re all ready to have some fun and welcome Vinyl and Octavia with a proper Ponyville party!” Pinkie shouted out, not needing a mic at all. Some cheers resounded from the audience, now focused on them. Jax gulped. Pinkie looked at him expectedly. When he didn’t do anything, she nodded to the mic in his hand. She wanted him to say something or start singing or…? Fuck, he was already all sweaty. He couldn’t do this. He needed some alcohol before he could do this. Their eyes were too big, filled with expectations. There were more of them than at his own party too, it looked like the entire town had gathered!
He took a deep breath. Luna had taught him to do that, hadn’t she? The thought calmed him down some… He could do this.
“Hey there, everypony…” Wait… did he just say everypony? Ah whatever. He was talking that was good. “I… guess I’m singing a song for you… uhm, I think human songs are different from pony songs in a lot of ways… as those of you who heard my last one probably know.” Jax lowered the microphone and looked over the giant crowd. They were expecting something now, of course they were.
He was desperately trying to think of a song, before a feeling hit him. It was like the world slowed down, and lyrics came to focus in his mind. For a millisecond he thought Sombra had something to do with it, but then realized that that probably wasn’t the case. This feeling felt pure, too pure for him to have any part of it. A feeling of happiness came over him, and suddenly he wanted to sing, to share his feelings with these ponies. He locked eyes with the pony who had requested him, or at least he thought he did. The glasses made it hard to be sure.
He took a deep breath again. “My Demons by Starset.”
When he starting singing, he was completely engulfed by the song. Nothing really mattered except the words coming out of his mouth. Pinkie took up the role of impromptu drummer, using anything in her vicinity to make sound. It sounded surprisingly good, even without all the needed instruments. When he focused on it, it was like he could hear them anyway, and he couldn't help but wonder if he was imagining things or if somebody actually took out an electric guitar and started jamming.
It might actually have been a bit dark for ponies… as far as he could tell pony music was all about happiness. Then again, he hadn’t been exposed to a lot of music since he came, and as he sang he found that he didn’t care. The song felt close to heart, and he felt like he was singing to Luna… He just wished she could be there so that she could hear it.
“Save me, if I become… My demons!” He finished, eyes closed. As the silence went on, he couldn’t quite get himself to open them. Then the weird substitute for clapping started from one pony, where they stomp their front hoof against the floor. He opened his eyes and noticed that it was Vinyl herself that had started it, with a huge smile on her face. Soon more followed, though it didn’t quite fill the room. He noticed that some of the ponies looked… worried. Ah well.
He threw the mic over to Pinkie and straight over to the snack table. He was going to eat the hell out of that table. Well… the stuff on it anyway.
Pinkie announced that something called The Ponytones would sing next, and Jax was surprised to see Fluttershy go up on the stage. Well, she did say something about being in a band, guess this was what she meant. Big Mac as well? Wow.
The song they played about finding the ‘music in you’ was an almost complete opposite of what he had sung. It wasn’t bad, just cheerful like Jax had thought pony music was all about.
He was drawn from his thoughts by a poke on his side. Turning around he found Vinyl looking at him with a smile, still wearing her shades. He wondered why she was wearing them indoors but let it go. She could do whatever she wanted.
“Oh. Hey. I hope you liked the song, it was pretty much for your sake.” He smiled nervously at her. It would be pretty disappointing if she didn’t like it.
She nodded her head, then levitated some parchment, ink and quill over. He looked on with confusion as she started writing. ‘I did, it was pretty awesome. It reminded me of home. The music isn’t as sugar sweet there. No offense to currently singing parties of course.’
He looked at the parchment for a bit longer before chuckling. “No, I get it. Sometimes you just need music that’s a bit more… primal? I don't know if that’s the right word though.” He said thoughtfully as he munched on his muffin. It was delicious, but that wasn’t really a surprise. This was Pinkie’s baking after all.
Vinyl wrote some more… he wondered if he should ask, but as with Derpy’s eyes he didn’t know if it was appropriate. Maybe she just hurt her throat like he had, and she had to write until it recovered. ‘Yeah, that’s it. Though I don’t mind either way. Music is awesome like that. I just need some variation sometime.’
“I couldn’t agree more. I miss banging my head to some hard rock or metal… or screamo for that matter. You wouldn’t happen to know where they play some of that, would you?” He looked down at her. She looked a bit confused.
‘I don’t know about some of those, but if it’s something similar to what you sang, I do know a band, if you don’t mind changelings.’
“Changelings? I don’t mind, never met one… as far as I know anyway.” He ate the rest of his muffin and reached over for a cupcake.
‘Great. Octavia is pretty open about music, but this isn’t her cup of tea, so I’ve been looking for somepony to go with. You game?’
Jax laughed. “I am more than willing! I’ve missed music since I’ve come here.” He noticed Celestia was looking at him with a smile, even as she was occupied with something Twilight was talking to her about. “Though I might have to bring a friend, if you don’t mind.”
‘Of course not. The more the merrier.’ She smiled at him, then dropped her writing utensils and started munching away at the snacks as well.
The rest of the evening was spent in the quiet company of Vinyl and whoever came over to wish her happy birthday. She would then nod and smile at them and they would soon move on. She would sometimes scratch something on the parchment, but mostly they would just chill in silence by the snack table. Jax decided he rather liked Vinyl. She was cool. After that she was forced by Pinkie to participle in different games, but she didn't seem to mind, giving a silent laugh every now and then. It reminded Jax of his own time as a mute, and he felt a little for the DJ.
The party ended with Octavia playing a beautiful piece on her cello that made Jax shiver. She definitely had talent, Octavia, though he was fairly certain he preferred when they played together. It had been like they had been dancing with their music, he remembered. He wanted to hear it again someday.
He noticed that Vinyl had a loving smile as she looked at Octavia playing.
“Happy birthday, miss Vinyl.” Celestia came up to them when the song ended.
Vinyl bowed low, and gave her a smile, but didn’t write anything on her parchment.
Celestia looked at him next, with a smile. “I’ll follow you home, if you are ready.”
“Of course. I’ll be looking forward to the concert then, Vinyl. See you around.” Vinyl responded by nodding, and Jax made his way out with Celestia, ponies bowing to her left and right.
Celestia teleported home soon after taking him home. She had made some comment about sending him money so he could at least buy food, but he waved her off, saying he had it under control. Apparently she had checked out his fridge while he had showered. He also realized that he had forgotten to get his payment for the song, but that could wait for another day. He at least had apples, not that he was hungry. He had eaten a lot of snacks.