//------------------------------// // Oh, happy days. // Story: Well I'll be damned // by bud467 //------------------------------// “Give it to me straight Doc.” I mimicked the generic but popular movie line the best I could. I looked at the door way and spotted some medical personal. Their eyes widened and popped their heads out of the cracked doorway. The earth…. Earth pony? Sounds right… Doctor Smoothide, (Smooth-Ide, like smooth Hide in oneword.) chuckled. “Well, You have a good amount of shrapnel in your arm. We should be able to get them out.. but we do not know the anatomy of…” He motioned with a hoof toward my towering figure. I laughed and nodded. “I understand.” We sat there in silence before the doctor spoke up. “So do you have a family?” I smiled and nodded. The smile on my face gained territory as I pulled out a picture from the breast pocket of my shirt laying on the table. “I have a wonderful wife, and a beautiful 5 year old daughter.” -------- “Princess Celestia!” Twilight, her friends, and the other ponies that were in the SugarCube bowed. “Why are you here?” Pinkie Pie bounced up and down. “OH! OH! OH! You’re here because of the hum-mmmmMMmM!!” Rainbow Dash muffled the energetic pony by shoving one of the cupcakes next to them in her mouth. Princess Celestia smiled and nodded. “Yes I am here because I was informed by my student and the hospital about the appearance of a mythical being suddenly arriving in Equestria.” The girls looked at Twilight who smiled. --------- The doctor wiped his eyes with a tissue-covered-hoof as he snickered then burst into a laugh again. “Oh. Oh that is funny.” I laughed with him. “Yeah.” I shook my head with a smile plastered on my face. “You should have seen Kalvolsky’s face during training when Cobel flipped the tank.” I laughed and fished my wallet out of my pants. “I have a picture of it.” I pulled out several small photos and sorted through them before locating the one being searched for. I held the picture out before leaning in to explain the image. The door opened, the noise causing us both to instinctually turn our heads. A large white horn appeared, followed by a large unicorn with wings, That is… Princess Celestia. The doctor bowed and I snapped my heels and using my good arm, snapped a salute. “Corporal Montel, 105th armored division.”“Hello.” She glanced toward me and smiled -------- “Ow!” A nurse was picking shrapnel out of my arm. “Sorry.” Her brow furrowed and she pulled another chunk of the tank out of my shoulder. I bit my lip and tears poured out of my eyes. “We do not know anything about um…” She looked at me for a hint. I smiled through the ringing pain. “Humans.” She nodded then pulled out another piece and I let out a cry. “Sorry.” She placed it on the metal pan. “We don’t know anything about Human anatomy.” She picked up the pair of tweezers and began to pull out the superficial wounds. “AAAHHHHH!” I sat there in my room, cradling my now sore arm even though it was in a sling. I slowly rose off of my bed and walked to the corner where my gear was. I knelt down and picked up my backpack, which had been found at the clearing by the Royal guards when they examined the site. Placing the backpack on the bed, I opened the pockets and began the meticulous task of taking inventory. ---------- “Captain Foler.” Celestia called her personal guard captain over. “Yes milady?” he bowed. Celestia sighed “I want you to post guards around the hospital. Our analysis’s that black…thing is a weapon of war.” She said referencing to the human’s rifle. --------- I sat there in my room, cradling my now sore arm even though it was in a sling. I slowly rose off of my bed and walked to the corner where my gear was. Using my left arm, I picked up my rifle and laid it down on the desk that was in the room. That is lighter than I remember… I began to walk back to my stuff before it hit me. The magazine is missing. I whirled around and stared at the desk. I ran to my piled stuff and pulled out my pistol. I pressed the release cache and the magazine slipped out onto the pile. I put the pistol in my right hand, picked up the magazine and jammed it into the handle. I placed the pistol in the pile of stuff then looked out the window and spotted Princess Celestia. I huffed and ran out of my room. They cannot get their hands on this technology. I turned the corner and nearly ran into three royal guards. I turned sideways and slipped between them just as one began to yell “Hey!” I ignored the demand and continued running. I burst through the stairwell door and slid down the rail to make things faster. I swung open the bottom floor door and rushed down the hall way, evading and dodging medical personnel and royal guard. I rushed out of the main doors just to see Princess Celestia boarding her chariot. “Celestia!” Her head moved toward me and our eyes met. “Hello Corporal.” She motioned with a wing to stop the chariot. She walked off of her chariot and cautiously approached me. “Part of my…” I paused trying to word it gently. “Weapon is missing.” Her pupils shrank for a moment then expanded to their normal size Bingo. Her voice lowered. “You are a dangerous being in our tales.” Her tone resembled Hurt-anypony-and-I-will-skewer-you. “That is why we are studying your weapons.” My eyes narrowed and I walked up to her, our eyes meeting. “That is why I must get it back.” I pushed back. “If you study my technology, it will accelerate your technology dangerously. Instruments of war can be abused. I warn you for these...ponies safety, at least destroy it.” I warned. Her eyes looked me over. “OK. I will destroy them.” I raised any eyebrow. Maybe I can push this further… “Personally?” she sighed and nodded. “Personally.” I sighed and smiled. “Let me get you the ammunition.” I turned and began my way back into the Hospital. “Oh, Princess?” I turned and she raised a brow. “May I keep one for any life or death situation?” She seemed to mull it over before a guard tapped her leg whispered something in her ear. She looked up at me then back at the guard whom nodded. “I will allow ONE.” She said, emphasizing the word ‘one’ to make it clear. I nodded and walked into the hospital. When I reached my room, I had picked up guards that seemed to follow me. “Do you guys ALL have to follow me?” I said resisting the urge to itch my healing arm. That salve they put on it does wonders. They all nodded and one spoke. “Orders.” I rolled my eyes and opened the door. “Right, orders.” “Oh!” The white unicorn with a three diamond cutie mark …Rarity was it? was levitating my jacket and was currently repairing the holes in it. ”Are you feeling better, dear?” She walked over to me, her hooves making a clip clop pattern on the tile floor. I smiled and nodded as she walked around me as if to examine my structure. “Well I hope so.” Her... Is it Aura? Whatever. Aura it is… ‘Aura’ surrounded the sling and the sling gently removed itself. My arm was bandaged so much it didn’t hurt. “Here I hope I fixed it correctly.” Rarity gently said as she levitated my jacket over. Gingerly, I slipped my right arm through the sleeve and my left arm followed suite. I spread my arms the best I could with my wounds. Rarity had put on a pair of sewing glasses and was taking a closer look at the jacket for any other holes or seam splits she might have missed. “Wow. Rarity.” I was amazed. She smiled and stepped back. “Not the most fashionable of clothes but I don’t know what you humans wear.” I laughed and removed the jacket. “I am a soldier.” I pointed out. “Civilians wear different clothes.” I walked to my pile of crap and laid everything out. One by one I removed the ammunition magazines. The guards watched carefully. Then I stopped, I was feeling sad. I mean, we repeat the Rifle creed so much… I stood up and grabbed the (now) empty-of-ammunition M4 rifle. The guards jumped to alert status and the Unicorns charged their spells.Wonder if that would hurt as much as being shot… I shrugged it off and bounced it on its stock. Rarity and the guards jumped at the thud it created. I snapped it to my right shoulder and began to march in place. I felt my heart begin to bunch up but lighten from the memories of basic training. I sucked in a breath and began to march around the room. I let a thunderous drill voice rip from my throat as I grabbed my rifle with my left hand as it slapped the grip. “This is my Rifle, This is my gun!” I snapped my left hand onto the barrel grip, ignoring the pain it caused then grabbed my crotch and a few guards snickered. “This one’s for fighting and this one’s for fun!” A guard erupted into full off laughter and the others fell like dominos. “Sound off! One, two! Sound Off! Three, four!” Rarity shook her head, her mane bouncing. “Colts.” She walked out of the room, stepping over the doubled over Royal Guards. I could hardly keep myself from laughing. I was giggling like a fool as I gathered up the ammunition. I’ll be coming home. I promise.