//------------------------------// // Soul Proprietorship // Story: Spark Notes // by Sharp Spark //------------------------------// “And it turns out, Canterlot doesn’t even have a copy of Starswirl’s Second Treatise. Not even the modern printing! I can’t believe that nopony seems to know where to find it.” “Mm-hmm,” Minuette said, distractedly. Twilight’s head turned, observing the blue unicorn walking at her side. Minutte had been distant all day, and the prospect of fresh air brightening her mood had given Twilight the idea to take a walk. Unfortunately, it hadn’t seemed to help. Minuette was staring off at a fixed point as they walked down the path, preoccupied with her own thoughts. She shook her head slightly and gave Twilight a wan smile, jolted out of her reverie by the silence. “Sorry,” she said. “Go ahead, I’m paying attention.” Twilight exhaled softly. “Tell me. What’s wrong?” “N-nothing!” Minuette put forth a stronger attempt at a grin, but it was very obviously forced. “You’ve been acting strange all week,” Twilight said. “And it’s only getting worse. Is it— Did I do something wrong?” “No, that’s not it at all.” Minuette bit her lip, looking away. “Then what is it?” “Look, Twilight, I...” Minuette’s face lit up brightly as she pointed off to the side of the path. “Hey, what’s that over there?” “Don’t think that’s going to work on— Hey!” Minuette had already trotted away, picking up the pace as she made a beeline for a pony sitting at a stand in the park. Twilight head drooped as she followed, thoughts still abuzz at what could have been bothering Minuette. Maybe she was just growing tired of Twilight? They had been going out for a few months now, and their relationship had slipped from exciting to… comfortable. Which Twilight found perfectly nice, as she always preferred a quiet evening at home curled up together reading, or talking, or drinking tea. But Minuette, on the other hoof, seemed to enjoy the romance and passion, and perhaps Twilight had slipped too far into being boring for her marefriend. Twilight frowned. That did all make sense. But if Twilight Sparkle excelled at anything, it was solving problems. And possibly reading books, but that could be considered a subset of solving problems, after all – it certainly was the answer to a surprising amount of the conundrums she faced on a daily basis. Looking at it logically, there was no need to despair. She simply needed some kind of grand romantic gesture. Something big to bring the spark back. But how? Minuette could be infuriatingly enigmatic sometimes, particularly when it came to talking about herself. It wasn’t like she was just going to up and announce— “My heart’s desire?” Right. That would be silly. Twilight would have to figure it out through careful— Twilight’s head snapped to look at Minuette, suddenly realizing what she had actually said. The blue unicorn wasn’t even looking at her, instead gawking at the banner above the plain table in the park. Twilight’s eyes followed Minuette’s gaze. “For Sale: Your Heart’s Desire,” she read aloud. “Affordable Prices!” She turned to the pony sitting at the table, a deep red-coated pony with curly black hair and a suspiciously neat goatee. “Are you serious?” she asked. “Absolutely,” he said firmly. “Old Scratch, at your service.” He raised a hoof outwards for a shake, but only Twilight’s eyes moved as she peered at the appendage and then back at him. “Are you related to that DJ pony?” Twilight said, frowning. Scratch scoffed. “I am a pony of wealth and taste. I hardly associate with that sort of crowd. But you’re not here to hear about me... You have something you want, and I can give it to you.” Minuette smirked. “So, Mister Scratch. Say I wanted a sundae.” He lowered his foreleg and steepled his hooves together, gazing over them. “Specificity is important in my line of work. Thus, I would enquire as to what flavor of ice cream you preferred.” “And if I were to specify chocolate?” Minuette asked. “Then I would question the proper amount of scoops,” Scratch said, a faint smile playing across his face. Minuette’s eyebrow raised. “Let’s assume two.” “Would the presence of hot fudge be desired?” “Of course.” “Chopped nuts?” “No.” “Strawberries?” “Yes.” “Cherry?” “Two.” Scratch’s eyes narrowed as he met Minuette’s challenging gaze. Suddenly, his face lit up with a smile and he reached under the table to reveal a delicious looking ice cream sundae, drizzled in hot fudge and bedecked with diced strawberries, capped off with a single cherry on each scoop of chocolate ice cream. Twilight’s mouth fell open. She slowly leaned down to look under the table. As she had thought, it was a plain folding table, with nothing underneath other than the legs of the pony running the stand. Her head jerked back up. “How did you…?” “I’ve been around for a long, long year, Miss Sparkle,” Scratch said, his voice oily smooth. “I’ve gotten very good at what I do.” He tapped his hooves on the table, where two pieces of paper lay, each covered in copious amounts of tiny writing. “Of course, we have yet to discuss terms and conditions. I’m sure you will find it all very reasonable.” Twilight turned to Minuette, only to see her happily humming to herself as she read the dense contract. Sighing, Twilight narrowed her eyes at Scratch again. “This is incredibly suspicious,” she accused. “I assure you, the terms of the agreement are more than equitable.” Scratch smiled widely, baring a mouthful of gleaming white teeth. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.” “Then why all this…” Twilight peered down at the contract in front of her. The letters got smaller and smaller down the page, until they seemed to wiggle around, preventing them from being read. “Why all this fine print?” “You would be surprised at the lengths some ponies will go to in order to get out of a perfectly legal and binding contract. Just covering my bases.” Twilight rubbed her eyes with her hoof and then used her magic to lift the sheet of paper and float it up to her face. “Usual terms and conditions apply… limit one per household… not to exceed five years but no less than three… the aforementioned signee hereby agrees to transfer possession of one (1) immortal soul, upon receipt of agreed purchase… Wait.” Twilight’s eyes snapped back in horror to that last phrase. “You are asking ponies to sell their soul? You can’t do that! Who would even agree to that?” “Pleasure doing business with you,” Scratch said. Twilight looked up, mouth agape to see Minuette slip something into her saddlebags as Scratch rolled up a signed contract. Minuette shook his hoof with a smile. “Minuette!” Twilight said. “You— You just sold your soul!” Minuette rolled her eyes. “Seriously Twilight? Don’t be such a drama queen. I’m sure that’s just legal mumbo jumbo they have to throw in. You can’t expect them to actually try and enforce it.” “That’s where you’d be wrong, my little pony,” Old Scratch said, his voice growing deeper as an acrid stench began to fill the air. Twilight took a step back in shock as the red pony banged one hoof against the table and a pitchfork appeared in a flash of crimson fire. Had there been stubby horns poking out of his mane this whole time? Had his eyes always shone bright red with the fires of Hades? “Give it back, Minuette!” Twilight whispered. “I don’t know, tear up the contract!” “I’m afraid it’s too late for that now,” Scratch said, his voice booming across the park. Everything had gone dark, the sun suddenly hidden behind dark clouds. “You belong to me now, and I intend to claim what is mine!” Twilight stepped in front of MInuette, her wings spreading out protectively. She racked her mind, trying to come up with some sort of appropriate spell, but came up blank. She knew she should have finished that book on Demonology, no matter what Spike said about her speaking in strange deep voices in her sleep. But if there was one thing she remembered, it was that rule of law was tremendously important, and in this case… they didn’t even have that on their side. Twilight gritted her teeth. She needed some sort of miracle... “This soul is beyond your control!” Minuette turned to look at Twilight. Twilight turned to look at Minuette. Their eyes met in confusion, both having assumed the other had been the one to object. Then the ground suddenly began shaking. “E-earthquake?!” Twilight gasped. A chasm split the ground and both ponies stumbled back. With a resounding roar, a huge hulking figure burst up from the earth, rising between them and a surprisingly unperturbed Old Scratch. “The blue equine shall not be thine!” Twilight blinked, staring up at the back of a huge minotaur, jet black in coloration. Both horns spiraled and twisted, jutting a great distance past the creature’s head before curving up into wickedly sharp points. He had to be at least three times any of the ponies’ height. “Do you know this guy?” she whispered, but Minuette blinked and slowly shook her head. “You know the deal,” Scratch said, his voice short with annoyance. “She signed the papers. Her soul belongs to me.” “Your petty writings have no pull to the Lord of the Pit, Beelzebull!” The minotaur raised both brawny arms over his head, and sharp spires of rock shot out of the ground on either side, only for him to punch straight through the solid rock to smash them back into dust. “Look, B. I don’t want trouble here.” Scratch pursed his lips. “Knock it off with the power rhymes and let’s talk. I’ve got a signed contract, what gives you the right to get in my way?” The minotaur sniffed. “You may not claim this prize… Because the blue pony’s soul already belongs to the diabolical and demoniac Beelzebull!” Old Scratch blinked. As did Twilight. Minuette suddenly found herself on the receiving end of two confused stares. “What?” she said. “I’m pretty sure I have no idea what he’s talking about.” “Foolish equine! Do you not remember pledging your soul to the service of the terrible and mighty army of Beelzebull? The sacred ritual of corruption, the black mass of the seventh hell?” “Don’t be ridiculous,” Twilight said. “There is absolutely no way that…” Minuette had planted one hoof against her face. “You have got to be kidding,” she muttered. “Minuette!” Twilight said sharply. “W-what did you do?” Minuette sighed deeply. “Look. I was young, right? And going through a sort of rebellious, experimental phase. And there was this minotaur guy who… well, he was an idiot, but he was in this band, and most importantly he had a body that was just—” She caught sight of the glare from Twilight and her mouth snapped shut. “Eh. Ahem. It was just a fling, but… I might have gone to a devotional with him once or twice…?” “Service to the fearsome and horrifying Beelzebub can never be revoked!” “Traditionally, service to a first-order demon is signified by participation in a blood-orgy,” Scratch chimed in. “Wait, what!?” “Whoa whoa whoa,” Minuette said. “I don’t remember any of that. There were lilac candles! And some stallion with long hair and a guitar! We had a singalong and someone brought brownies!” Old Scratch cocked an eyebrow at the minotaur. The minotaur grunted sheepishly. “Beelzebull, the magnificent and malevolent, has been forced to adapt to competition in today’s tough religious marketplace.” He cleared his throat and straightened up tall again. “Nonetheless. It has been done. This soul belongs to me!” “Ridiculous!” a voice shouted out. Scratch, Minuette, Twilight, and Beelzebull all looked in surprise as a pony wearing a vest and green visor trotted up. “Mr. Adjustable Rate?” Minuette said in a wavering voice. “You know him?” Twilight asked. She peered at the new stallion, who wore a pair of spectacles and had his mane styled in a comb-over that fooled no one. “He’s… he’s my banker.” The pony’s mouth was a thin line as he glared sternly at the two. “Yes. I am in charge of Ms. Millénaire’s accounts at Ponyville First Bank and Trust.” He switched his disapproving glance to Scratch and Beelzebull. “And I’m afraid I will have to stop all this right here. Neither one of you are claiming this pony’s soul.” “Don’t be ridiculous,” Scratch said. “Beelzebull the cruel and mighty can crush you like a grape!” “You most certainly will not,” Rate said. Twilight breathed a sigh of relief, still somewhat amazed at help coming from such a strange place, but not wanting to question it. “...Because we own Ms. Millénaire’s soul, according to the terms of her mortgage.” “What?!” Rate ignored her. “And I believe you will find that the paperwork has been signed and notarized, and on file with all the proper demonic authorities. We hold superior legal precedent in this case and any court in Tartarus will clearly judge in our favor.” “B-b-but you— She— You’re not a demon! You work for a bank,” Twilight sputtered. Three pairs of eyes focused on her. Old Scratch smirked. “Who exactly does tiny pony think runs the financial sector?” Scratch stomped a hoof. “This is getting ridiculous. I will agree that both of you possess some measure of claim to the soul in question, but in the case of conflict, I come first, due to recency.” “No! Historical priority trumps recency!” “Strict legality overrides both of your attempts to confuse the issue.” “Recency!” “Priority!” “Legality!” “Recency!” “Priority!” “Legality!” “Clarity!” All three stopped shouting, noticing for the first time a newcomer. Another pony had appeared, colored a shiny blue and mane a deep green. Upon closer inspection, her coat was more akin to scales than fur, and her mane writhed and twisted, made up of tiny living serpents. “No,” Adjustable Rate said firmly. “No, no, no, no. No succubuses worming their way into this one.” “Ssshut up,” the new pony said. “I posssesss just as much right as all of you. No.” She smiled, showing two large fangs. “More.” “Succubus,” Twilight said. She paused a moment, as a thought caught up to her, and turned to Minuette, her face darkening. “Succubus.” “Whoa.” Minuette held up both hooves. “Okay, this one I don’t remember at all.” “Allow me to sssshow you,” the pony said. Her mane suddenly lit up with a sickly emerald glow, the snakes coursing one over another, as the park around them faded away into a starry landscape. Scratch grimaced. “Tell me next time before you start with the illusion magic. These things always give me motion sickness.” “Ssshusssh! Obssserve!” A planet appeared, growing larger and larger as they zoomed quickly down towards it. Scratch closed his eyes, looking a little green, as the ponies hurtled down into the atmosphere. Twilight saw all of Equestria, clothed in the veil of nighttime. One bright dot stood out, and they quickly approached it. As the bright spot separated into many thousands of tiny lights spilling forth from ivory towers, Twilight suddenly recognized where they were headed: Canterlot. They moved faster and faster, the ground rushing up to them until suddenly, without even any sense of inertia, they had stopped. They stood in a dark street in Canterlot. “Uh oh,” Minuette said. Her hoof found her face again. Twilight turned to her, mouth opening and a question on her lips, right as a door burst open. Light and noise spilled out into the street and a mare stumbled out, taking only a few steps before collapsing into a heap. It was another Minuette. Twilight peered closer. She did look a little different, mane cut a bit shorter. And of course, Twilight had made it a point to be firm on Minuette not getting anywhere near this drunk. The illusory Minuette rose up again, hooves bravely rediscovering the proper motions to carry her onwards. She made it a few more steps, swaying first to the right, then wildly veering to the left before smacking right into a lamppost with a clang. Twilight winced in sympathy, just as another mare trotted out of the shadows. She was tall and shapely – the figure of a model, complete with a silky, flowing mane and long, dark eyelashes. It was only from the matching color scheme that Twilight could identify the pony as the succubus standing near her. “Hey there,” the pony said in a sultry whisper, focusing in on the ungainly pile of Minuette. The illusory Minuette looked up, her eyes still spinning. “Smhflxpl?” “My beauty does have that effect on poniesss. Does someone like what she sssees?” The Minuette shook her head sharply to clear it. “Icxlbrtsprg.” The disguised succubus sighed airily. “Don’t try to hide it. I can feel your deliciousss desire burning brightly. We just have to ssspeak of payment.” Minuette’s face lit up. “Zmr—” She stopped and coughed, clearing her throat. “Mareican Express?” “No, beautiful. I want something much more valuable. Your soul.” Twilight stared very sternly at the real Minuette, who had sat down to cover her reddening face with both hooves. “I can’t believe… You don’t even—” “Ugh,” she said. “Just watch.” The illusory Minuette had broken out into a particularly goofy smile. “Izzat all? Shgood, caush I think I losht my wallet.” The succubus blinked. “Your immortal soul.” “Yesh, you said that.” “Ssselling it. To me.” “What’sh the problem? I c’n throw in uh. Uh.” Minuette stopped to hoof blindly through her saddlebags, coming up with a wadded crinkle of tinfoil. “A shtick of gum.” The succubus raised one immaculately sculpted eyebrow as she peered at the already-chewed piece of gum. “No, that’sss okay.” “Suitsh yourshelf,” Minuette said, as she reverently placed the gum back in her bag. The succubus cleared her throat, eyeing Minuette suspiciously. “Ssso, that’s your sssoul, freely given, in exchange for—” “One triple decker hayburger, extra barbeque saucsh.” The succubus went silent, staring at Minuette. Everyone else also stared, this time at the real Minuette, who flushed even more red. “...Come again?” the succubus asked. “Triple decker, exshtra barbeque. An’... an’ no onions!” The succubus looked down at her expertly-crafted form and then back up at Minuette. “You don’t… want…” Minuette had followed her glance, and narrowed her eyes at the succubus’s appearance. “Wait jusht one minute. Don’t you poniesh normally have a pushcart thingy? An’ a little paper hat?” Her eyes sprung open widely and she gasped. “That meansh! No!” The succubus grimaced slightly. “You don’t have hayburgersh?” “Thisss is highly irregular but…” She sighed. “I’ll get you a hayburger. We just need to ssshake to complete the—” She was cut off by Minuette leaping forward to enthusiastically shake her hoof, almost knocking her over in the process. “Fine, then…” In a blast of dark magic, a triple-decker deluxe hayburger appeared, floating in the air, dripping with sinfully decadent barbeque sauce. Minuette didn’t even hesitate to launch face-first at the meal, and the succubus took a few steps back from the ensuing carnage, the noisy smacking and chewing sounds enough to put anypony off their appetite. “Pleasssure doing… uh. Businesss with you?” “Mrph,” Minuette replied. Suddenly her face turned a pale green, and the burger fell to the street. Beads of sweat broke out on her forehead and she wildly turned her head, finally focusing in on a gutter at the side of the street to stumble towards. The succubus watched, eyes wide, as Minuette emptied the contents of her stomach, retching up the bit of hayburger she had managed to swallow along with quite a lot of the liquids she had been previously partaking of. After a few final moments of dry heaving, Minuette’s head turned up once again, a line of vomit still dripping from her mouth. Her bleary eyes caught sight of the other half of the hayburger sitting in a puddle of some unidentifiable liquid. She smiled brightly and began to trot forward. It was at this moment that the succubus fled in terror. The illusion around the ponies – and demons, and minotaur – faded away, and they found themselves back in the park. Silence fell, all those present still staring at a flushing Minuette. The succubus coughed. “Yesss. Ssso as you can sssee, a clearly ssstated agreement takes precedence over your trickery,” she insisted. Adjustable Rate sniffed. “Hardly. A legally-binding document outweighs mere verbal contracture, technically speaking. The best kind of speaking.” “No, I have the most recent agreement,” Scratch said, desperation creeping into his voice. “The impatient and cranky Beelzebull grows weary of this! Does nodemon respect the sanctity of first dibs?” As their voices began to rise, Twilight felt teeth yank on her tail. Minuette was gently pulling her away. “See?” Minuette whispered. “Like I said, no problem. Can’t sell what you’ve already sold, right?” “I hardly think that’s a responsible way of looking at things!” Twilight frowned. “This is a huge problem!” Minuette rolled her eyes. “C’mon. Let’s just go. It’s not like they’re ever going to come to an agreement on—” “Then it’s settled.” “Acceptable.” “Fine.” “Yesss.” They turned to see the motley collection of demons in the process of shaking hooves. Scratch turned towards the two and cleared his throat. “Your situation is unprecedented, Miss Minuette, but we have reached an agreement. Your soul will split time between the respective domains of control, two days a week each, with Sundays to alternate.” Minuette raised a hoof. “Uh—” “Unfortunately, given the circumstances, we will have to insist on claiming your soul right now. There’s only so much eternity to go around, after all.” Minuette’s eyes widened. “Uh!” She began to backpedal rapidly. A circle of flames burst into being, circling her and Twilight. “Now, now, now… no running away.” Twilight’s wide eyes met Minuette’s. But then Minuette grinned impishly. “Chill, Starsy. I still have one trick up my sleeve.” With an abrupt wrenching, both ponies flew backwards through time, the last few moments rapidly coming undone in a feeling that Twilight had experienced firsthoof more than once, but still found it hard to be truly accustomed to. Twilight found herself standing in front of a plain table, a red stallion seated behind it. Everything looked peaceful once again, a normal day in Ponyville Park. Minuette turned to smile at her. “See? No big deal.” In front of her, Old Scratch frowned. Behind them, a whooshing sound signaled the arrival of three figures. A pony, a minotaur, and a succubus. Minuette bit her lip. “Uh oh.” “All our contracts are strictly temporally-resistant, Ms. Minuette,” Scratch said. “You would be amazed at how many ponies try time spells to get out of their poor decisions.” He nodded at the minotaur, who snapped his fingers. Heavy black chains burst from the ground, wrapping around Minuette’s legs and torso. “Twilight!” she cried out, for the first time sounding a little bit scared. Twilight tried to jump forward to grab her, but a ring of flames sprung up tightly surrounding Minuette and the heat knocked Twilight back. “Minuette!” she yelled, scrabbling to get back on her feet and charging up a spell. But in one yank, the chains pulled downwards, sucking Minuette into a black vortex as she screamed. Twilight fell to her knees. All that remained of Minuette was a patch of burnt ground and the acrid smell of sulphur. Adjustable Rate frowned sternly at Old Scratch. “I trust from hereon out, you will file proper permits before posting bill of sale?” Scratch rolled his eyes, but nodded. The succubus turned with a huff and stalked away, as Adjustable Rate trotted off in the opposite direction. “Poker still on next Wednesday?” “Yeah. You bring the chips.” The minotaur bumped his fist against Scratch’s hoof, and dove back into a fissure in the ground, a short earthquake closing it back up entirely. Twilight was left alone in the park with the red stallion. “You— I—” She stopped to collect herself. When she looked up again, her eyes were wet with tears, but blazing in intensity. “You are going to bring back my marefriend this instant.” “Now, now, Princess.” Scratch grinned. “I’m sure we can work something out. And since you’re royalty, I think I could be persuaded to cut you a deal.” “I’m not giving you my soul,” Twilight growled. “Oh, of course not. But how about one teensy little favor? You agree to owe me one, and then one day, probably a very long time from now, I’ll call you up and redeem it. Who knows? Maybe it’ll never come up at all. That’s not a whole lot to ask, now is it?” It was tempting. All Twilight wanted was to see Minuette again, to know that she was safe. But the logical part of her brain quickly chimed in. It was too easy. There was no telling what this favor would be… perhaps something that could spell ruin for all of Ponyville, if not even more. She couldn’t put all of Equestria in jeopardy for the sake of one pony, even one pony she loved. For the first time in a long time, Twilight really hated the logical part of her brain. “No,” she said, quietly, as her heart broke. “Well, if you change your mind, you know where to find me.” Twilight sniffed again, staring down at the ground. She looked up at Scratch again, her mouth a grim line of determination. “You know what? You’re right. I do.” She turned, lifting her head high as she trotted away from the table. Her mind was already buzzing with the inklings of a plan. She couldn’t risk all of Equestria. But she could, and would risk herself. Twilight Sparkle was going to Hell.