//------------------------------// // Economichaotic // Story: Lupine Tree // by wille179 //------------------------------// I worked tirelessly throughout the day, well into the night, and straight through to the next day. With a little coaxing, I’d managed to convince my allies to help me grow a patch of transplanted poison joke to extend all the way around our grove. The blue flower didn’t affect me, so it made for an excellent natural barrier to larger animals, including ponies. I’d also commanded my ally trees to strike airborne creatures; so far, I had four owls and six hawks all lightning-fried. They were delicious. I had some sharpened stakes that I’d made to be a barrier when I was afraid of Celestia coming and uprooting me. I looked at them now and realized how useless they would have been. Upon making that conclusion, I promptly began breaking them down to make spears. While clunkier than arrows for a bow, between my spear-thrower and my own phytokinesis I could chuck them with significant force and accuracy, to the point where I could fell a manticore in a single throw or spear a rabbit at ten meters most of the time. With the puppets that I hadn’t dedicated to those two tasks, I furiously practiced two different techniques. The first one was instinctive, something that I had done with the other trees of my pack: wolf fusion. By synchronizing our magic and intent, we timberwolves could create a bigger, stronger wolf. I’d called North, Northeast, South, and West, my other packmates, to my side. Fused with them, I realized just how simpleminded they were in comparison to me, but I also realized that I could easily train them in tactics and such. The other technique was one that I had just had the idea for the other day: flying puppets. My puppets worked on the principle that every piece moved relative to the transmission seed, but the seed itself couldn’t levitate without pressing one part of the puppet against the ground. But, I’d found that one seed could grip another. So, I reduced one puppet (the pilot) to a smaller form that looked like a spiny ball, and made it levitate the other puppet (the flyer). First point of note: wooden wolves look really dumb while floating. Second point of note: I really needed to practice that before it would be effective, and I would likely have to construct a more radically designed puppet to make it effective in the air and in a forest environment. Thus, I added another few things to my “to do/get if I survive” list: woodcarving tools, metal joints, paint (for awesomeness), blades, and projectiles. And yet even as I was training myself down to the sapwood, and barricading myself into my grove, I worried for one simple reason: nobody was coming. Sure, only Rarity had ever lived after seeing my grove, but I’d imagine that they’d be looking for me by now. I mean, I was listening closely to the voice of the forest; if ponies set foot in here, I would think it would notice. The Everfree didn’t particularly like ponies. But no ponies were coming. I had gotten wind of a few poking around on the edge, but nothing that indicated that they were actually going more than a couple dozen yards in. It. Didn’t. Make. Sense! I attack the dragon in self-defense, and they get all pissy and give me a whole trial. I attack an alpha and insult her, and I get nothing? What the hell is going on? What are they waiting for? “They’re waiting for you to come out on your own, you know.” Every single one of my puppets whirled around to face the source of the voice... and every single one of them ended up facing in a different direction. Still, even if I could not pinpoint its source, I knew immediately who was speaking. But how did he know what I was thinking? Is he a mind reader? “Nope!” came the cheerful reply. “You’ve just been muttering to yourself for the past few minutes. Some would say that’s the sign of madness. I say that you’re just having a healthy internal monologue... or external triskaidecalogue, as the case may be.” A flash of white light shone from my branches. When the light cleared, a colorful, mismatched bird sat preening itself, where no bird had been sitting an instant before. “Good morning, Mr. My-bark-is-worse-than-my-bite!” The chaotic being cheered. I had no idea if that was an insult or not, and I couldn’t tell from his tone. “Hello, Discord,” I replied courteously. “What brings you to my neck of the woods?” The bird vanished. Next to one of my wolves, the familiar, cartoonish, serpentine spirit appeared. Grinning, he said, “Funnily enough, your neck is why I’m here. Specifically, why you keep sticking it out and expecting the ponies’ axe to fall. That attitude is going to get you killed far faster than anything the ponies would do to you.” “And how would you know?” The chaos spirit snickered. “Weren’t you listening?” With a flash, he and one of my puppets vanished from the sight of the others. The two of them appeared in an off-color version of Sweet Apple Acres. Celestia stood before us, as did... me? Did we go back in time? “Um... do you mind explaining?” the past me asked. At that moment, I couldn’t have agreed more. She sighed, just as I had remembered. “That was Discord, the reformed Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony. He is a very powerful reality warper, but sometimes I question just how powerful he is.” Discord returned us to the present. “I’m reformed. Obviously, that means that I was something else before what I am now! Any guesses?” Before I had a chance to reply, he said, “Nope! I was a Tyrant. I ruled Equestria and the whole rest of the world. I shattered ponies minds and filled the world with chaotic nonsense. Celestia and her sister defeated me, and when I broke free, the next bearers of the Elements sealed me away again. And then they freed me and managed to reform me. Now I have friends, and I don’t think I’d trade that for anything.” His eyes lingered on Taur for a long moment. “Anyway, if they can peacefully deal with someone like me, I think they can get along with you. Oh, and you’ve got mail.” Another flash of light drew my attention. But instead of Discord’s white light, this flash was green. A solid, but muffled thump followed a split second after. There, on the ground by my roots, was a scroll wrapped around a metal rod. One of my wolves moved closer and sniffed it. It smelled like sulfur, ink, and the firebreather. I glanced back at Discord, who was happily munching from a box of McNuggets. He motioned “go on” with his claw, and then continued eating the bright pink candies he was pulling from the fast food box. I picked up and unfurled the scroll using Taur. The metal rod fell out, but so did a small ceramic plate engraved with a set of strange symbols. My Lycan scooped the items up as Taur read the letter. Dear Lumber Jack, Hey, it’s Spike. I hope you get this. I can usually send letters to anyone I’ve met before, and I hope I remembered the feel of your magic correctly. Well, if you’re reading this, that means I got it right. Anyway, I wanted to say that I was sorry for scaring you. I know you were supposed to say that you were sorry for attacking me, but don’t worry about that. I already forgive you. Dragons can be mean and scary — I should know, I’ve been picked on by bigger dragons. I should have realized that I was also included in that group of scary dragons. And you were just defending yourself and your ally trees(?), right? I know I’d burn anypony that tried to hurt Rarity, Twilight, or any of my other friends. We’re not so different, you know. But yeah... I forgive you, and I hope you forgive me. Twilight’s sorry too. The library was like that when we moved in, so we didn’t even think about how the tree had gotten that way. If we’d known... Well, we’re not living in the tree any more. Twilight cast a translation spell on it to see what would happen. I’ve never heard anything cry like that before, and neither had Twilight. As of today, we’re completely moved out. We couldn’t get out fast enough. You know Rarity, right? She’s letting us stay at her place for now. Twilight wants to meet you to see if you have any advice regarding the Golden Oak. You are the tree expert here. If you’ve got any advice on how to best heal the tree, we’d love to know. Ok, so Twilight just told me that you like making trades, and that you probably wouldn’t want to come out unless you got something in return. So we’re going to send some things with this scroll. The first is a magical lightning rod. Place it on the highest branch of the tallest tree near you (or you if you’re the tallest), let the spooled wire drop to the ground, and it will catch any lightning that might strike you. We’re also going to send a fire-protection charm that you can attach to yourself. It won’t protect against dragonfire (sorry!), but it will make you harder to burn with regular fire. Twilight says to get a box and fill it with some of your allies’ seeds and put it next to you. If there is a fire, you can replant their children. Lastly, Twilight and I decided that if you can help us save the Oak, we’d call the punishment Celestia gave you finished right then and there. This whole mess is, well, a mess. I mean, we were coming out into the forest that day to see if we could befriend you (and Twilight wanted to study you a bit and ask some questions). And instead... yeah. Look, can we start over? Hi, I’m the Great and Honorable Spike the Brave and Glorious. Yes, that’s my real, full title; the story behind it is really cool. You can call me Spike. I can’t wait to meet you. I’ve never met a talking tree before. Until then, Spike the Dragon I looked up from the letter, not sure what to think about it. On one hand, it was the firebreather. On the other hand though, Spike seemed genuine in his efforts to reconcile with me. Though I felt in my sap that I shouldn't go back, I knew that not finding out the truth was just as dangerous. I looked over at Discord, who was limply draped over my branches and snoring softly. Despite his appearance, he was actually rather lightweight. “Discord.” The chaos spirit awoke instantly, so fast that he couldn't have been asleep at all. “You finished? Good.” He stretched his back and snapped his eagle claws. Every one of my flowers exploded into confetti before regrowing almost instantly. It didn't hurt, surprisingly. “Now, I confess to knowing exactly what's in that letter, and I think that it's great that they are inviting you back. I also do know that Spike is telling the truth. So if you want to go back and talk, feel secure in the fact that it's definitely not a trap.” That wasn't reassuring at all. “Of course, that brings me to the real reason I’m here. The real reason you're here. Tell me, what do you know about entropy?” the chaos spirit asked. The grin he’d been wearing throughout most of the conversation was still there, but it had changed. Maybe it was the way his eyes creased, or maybe it was the way his lips stretched just a tad too far upwards, but whatever the cause was, that smile was no longer jovial, no longer cartoonish. It was ravenous. Still, I answered. “Entropy is disorder, and entropy always increases in a closed system. Perfect harmony is perfectly predictable, but utterly meaningless for the very same reason. Entropy, chaos, adds information that increases the base complexity of the system. In fact, you could say that entropy is information.” A slow clap filled the air. Discord’s ravenous grin was even wider. “Congratulations,” he drawled, “you are the first in this world to ever understand that. Ponies, they look at me and fail to grasp the very core of my being. I. Generate. Chaos. Even their own bodies are chaotic waves on the sea of spacetime, disturbances in the aether. “But they don't understand. They hate me for my chaotic ways, when chaos to me is like sunshine to you. Imagine having to live in eternal twilight for the sake of your friend. I do it because she's worth it, but now I’m very hungry. “And then you came along, Lumber Jack. Dear Celly currently thinks you're only a lesser demon, constrained by the rules of this world. And so long as you don't dissuade her of that notion, she won't hurt you at all.” “But I’m not,” I realized. He motioned with his lion’s paw, a clear invitation to go on. “Whatever I am, whatever happened to me and to the Other, we together are somehow dangerous. And we're an unknown.” He repeated the gesture. The wicked smile adorning his face was slowly growing wider the more I spoke. I was on the right track, then. “You said you were the one that brought me here. I’m a new variable, a new point from which chaos can spring forth from.” I paused. “You can't make chaos the way you used to be able to, so you brought the Other to make it for you.” His slow clap filled the air again. “You really are a clever tree... when your fear isn't making you stupid and blind.” With a snap, he made a vial, a cork, and a zap apple appear in the air in front of him. “In fact, for being so clever, how about I cook you a little treat? You’ve already had a similar recipe before, I can tell.” Again, his eyes lingered on Taur; now, I’m certain that he knows how that puppet came to be. With his eagle talon, he stabbed his lion wrist. Molasses colored blood poured out of the wound, which was deftly caught by the floating vial. He rubbed his wounded wrist, and when the claw pulled away, the hole and bloodstains were gone. Twirling the zap apple next, he peeled the skin off it and let it fall to the ground, where it turned into lovely little worms. Grasping the fruit’s meat, Discord squeezed. Zap apple juice flowed out like water from a sponge, and again, the vial caught the fluid. He swirled the contents of the vial and held it aloft. “Would you kindly zap this for me?” he asked aloud. The nearest one of my allies fired a bolt of lightning at the vial. When my vision had cleared, I saw that the vial’s contents glowed with a rainbow of colors. It was mesmerizing to watch. With a quickly uttered thanks, Discord corked the vial. “Tada! Draconequus-type timberwolf growth formula, just for you. It's far more potent than that centaur-type you drank earlier.” Yep, he knew, I thought. “I wouldn't drink it until I’d unlocked my full potential, if I were you. Most can't handle pure essence of me without bleeding out of every orifice and going stark raving mad.” I raised a wooden eyebrow, and all my branches swayed closer. “What potential is that; how would I unlock it; and why would it make me go mad to drink before I’m ready, but not afterward?” He merely grinned — jovially this time — and floated up next to my trunk. “Spoilers.” With a talon, he traced a short line down my bark. My sapwood parted like split fabric. It didn’t hurt, but damn if it didn’t feel weird. Then he clawed out a thin chunk of my dead heartwood and replaced it with the vial. Finally, he sealed my sapwood mostly back together. I could still see the light of the vial through the slit, but without hurting myself, there was no way to get at it yet. His claw traced out the words ‘When the time is right’ on my bark. The bark blackened to permanently stain the words onto me. I growled softly. “You know I’m not killing anyone for you, right? It’s obvious you want me as a pawn, and I don’t mind so long as I’m getting something worth my time, but I’m no assassin. Nor am I a terrorist.” “Spoilsport,” he said, rolling his eyes. And by that, I mean that his eyes completely spun in their sockets. “You had to go an ruin the mood. No, I’m not going to ask you to kill anyone. The last time I tried that, it backfired spectacularly. Trust me when I say that a double rainbow friendship laser to the face hurts like nothing else. No, I’ve washed my hands of murder, assassination, and all that nastiness. And yes, you are a pawn to me, one that is far more valuable to me alive and healthy. I’ve already invested time and effort into you, and I don’t want my investment ruined. It’s just — title drop — economichaotic. “But I should point something out. I know of this one mare, a necromancer with the innate ability to raise the dead and devour souls. The ponies hated her for her abilities, and made her hate herself despite her attempts to use her powers for good. Only a few old laws kept her out of jail, and she was only a pony. Imagine what would they would do to someone who is, in the eyes of the law, nothing more than a beast, if you acted on your particular cravings?” My branches and flowers drooped, the equivalent to blanching for humans. “Now, I think I’m finished here. Stay calm, stay useful, and stay safe. I’ll see you ‘round.” With those parting words, he flashed away, leaving me without the chance to say anything else. But damn if I didn’t have questions that I still wanted answered. In the silent seconds that followed, I was suddenly aware of just how strong of a presence he’d had. If Celestia had felt powerful, then I have no doubt that Discord was in a league of his own. For the first time in my life, I looked up at myself and shuddered at just how small I felt. For all my years, both as an animal and a person, I’d felt that I was the top of the food chain. Here, that wasn’t the case. But, if Discord was right, then maybe I could move up a few positions. I’d have to be careful, though. My attention was drawn back to Spike’s letter and gifts. Enchanted items, supposedly. If they were real, and they really did offer some protection, I’d have to look into getting some more of those for myself. Hmm... well, if video games taught the Other anything, it was that you had to perfect the three S’s to survive: Skills, Stats, and Shields. Power and skill meant nothing if you can’t take a hit. With a little effort, I had the lightning rod mounted on my highest branch, and using the attached string, I hung the charm from my lowest branch. It actually looked nice next to the cloth drapes I’d commissioned from Rarity. The wind shifted. The new breeze came from the west, not the south, and was slower than it had been a moment before. And with the wind slower, I heard something that I couldn’t have heard before: voices. I tensed, and every single one of my allies, both zap apple and pack, tensed as well. And when a significant grove of trees in the Everfree all go on the defensive at once, the forest takes notice. The wind stopped blowing. The animal noises went silent. The forest held its breath and readied itself to face the danger. “That isn’t normal, is it?” a scratchy pony’s voice said. I cussed silently. Taur and Lycan readied their spears. Maybe I wasn’t so well off. Maybe they were actually coming aft- A voice interrupted my thoughts. “Nah, it ain’t.” Wait, that was Applejack’s voice. My spear points dropped slightly. “Ah don’t like it.” “The Everfree feels scared,” another unfamiliar voice said, this one shriller than the AJ and the other mare. They were getting closer, too. I sent my puppets forwards with great attention to stealth. It wouldn’t do for them to give up the element of surprise. “But what could scare a forest? Especially a scary one like the Everfree?” That was the third unfamiliar voice I’d heard. Now they were close enough that I could make out their individual hoofsteps. Three... four... five... six. Six ponies, and one of them was wearing armor, judging by the noise he made. That must have been Clear Glass. One of my wolves spotted them first. Six ponies were trotting through the forest, as I expected. The armored male was at the front of the group, followed by a rainbow-maned pegasus, Rarity, a pink earth pony, a yellow pegasus, and Applejack at the rear. Something about the smaller pegasus seemed familiar, but I couldn’t recognize her scent. “Ugh, all this poison joke wasn’t here when he brought me this way the last time,” Rarity complained. “How do you know we aren’t lost?” the rainbow one asked. Rarity pointed back over her shoulder. “I remember that tree. It was very distinctive looking. But there wasn’t any poison joke here. Why don’t we go back?” She looked at the yellow pegasus. “Fluttershy, darling, do you want to go back, because I really don’t want to be here.” The pegasus — apparently named “Fluttershy” — didn’t get to reply; the other pegasus beat her to the punch. “Come on, Rarity. You said it yourself; he only got upset when you went in his grove. As long as we stay outside, we’re fine.” The white unicorn rocked her head side to side. “Well, yes... but we are a little too close for comfort, Rainbow Dash. I don’t know how far is “far enough,” and I can already smell his flowers in the wind,” she replied. My puppets stepped out from between the trees. “You’ve come far enough as is. I hate to be rude, but you should leave; you are trespassing on my home,” all thirteen of my puppets said in unison, from every angle. The ponies were completely surrounded and outnumbered over two-to-one, and I wanted them to know it. “Lumber Jack! How good to see you!” Rarity exclaimed, though I could tell she was putting on a brave face. “Though, you’re standing in poison joke, you know.” “I know,” I replied. “I planted it.” “And might I inquire as to why you planted so much of such a dreadful flower around here?” Rarity asked. Her eyes, and the eyes of every single one of the ponies I’d surrounded, were affixed to the spears I was brandishing and the wolves crouched around them. I jabbed towards Clear Glass. “To keep out pesky ponies that might have more unsavory intentions towards me.” “I assure you, we’re here to do nothing of the sort. My friends here just wanted to get to know you and to see if you were alright.” Rarity paused momentarily. “Truthfully, I didn’t want to come here, but we had nowhere else to start looking for you.” I lowered the spears and barked the “stand down” order at my pack and my allies. “Rarity, thank you for your concern. If you must know, I am only now really getting to know myself, and I’ve found that I’m a rather panicky person.” Motioning to the poison joke, I said, “Panic, pragmatism, and paranoia don’t make for a very inviting combination, I’d assume.” “We’re really sorry that we scared you,” the one they’d called Fluttershy said. “We didn’t mean to make you upset. Nopony had any idea that the library tree was like that.” “It’s fine. Really. I was thinking about going back to town soon anyway. I guess it’ll be sooner rather than later.” I looked from Fluttershy to the other unknown ponies. “So, care to introduce me?” The rainbow one flared her wings and donned a cocky grin. “Ha! I’m Rainbow Dash, fastest flyer in all of Equestria.” Fitting name. The one with the shrill voice went next, dashing up, grabbing, and shaking my Lycan’s paw. “I’m Pinkie Pie! Nice to meet you! What flavor of cake do you like?” Non-sequitur much? Whatever. “I can’t taste sweet at all. Cake is pointless.” Her mane deflated with an audible raspberry noise. In about a second and a half, the now straight mane had lost all its poof. “Now you’ve done it...” Rainbow Dash groaned. “Cake is pointless?” Pinkie Pie asked. “Pointless?” Her mane suddenly re-inflated itself. “Cake is never pointless! If you can’t eat sweet cake, I’ll make you the world’s first savory cake!” Rainbow Dash grunted in surprise; apparently, that wasn’t what she was expecting. I made a mental note to ask later about what Pinkie’s deal was with cake. Then, putting that aside, I faced the last mare, the one I thought seemed familiar for some odd reason. “And you must be Fluttershy, right?” Fluttershy nodded. “Well then, it’s a pleasure to meet you all. But, um, why did you come looking for me in the first place? And why so many of you?” Rarity stepped forwards and turned so that she could see all of her group as well as Lycan and Taur. “Well, Fluttershy here noticed that Twilight was really upset, and managed to find out what happened. She felt that she had to come and see you. As I was the only one who’d ever been here, I had to be the one to navigate for us. Fluttershy and I are not the strongest of individuals, so Rainbow Dash and Applejack volunteered to come along and protect us from the forest. Pinkie tagged along because she wanted too. As for Mr. Clear Glass, I’m not sure.” “He’s probably here to observe me and protect you all. Celestia’s orders,” I said, to which he simply nodded. “Anyway, do you want me to walk you back to town? I needed to do some things there anyway, things that I’m upset my panicking made me put off for so long.” They all agreed, and so we set off for Ponyville. Rainbow Dash trotted up to one of my wolves as we walked. “So,” she began, “why’d Princess Celestia want a paladin of all ponies watching you? It seems a little suspicious if you ask me.” “Oh, some offhand comment Discord made spooked her. According to him, she thinks I might be some sort of demonic creature from beyond the void here to suck out your brains or something. It’s utter nonsense, but she believes it enough to send the predator wannabe here to watch me,” I flippantly replied. Rarity shuddered. “Dear, don’t even joke about demons. Princess Luna was possessed by the Nightmare once, and every unicorn grows up hearing all the horrible things that can happen if you try to summon a demon of any sort!” “Hey, Glass, what is a demon, anyway? I get the feeling that what you’re all describing isn’t what I’m picturing,” I inquired. The paladin glanced over at me. “A demon is any soul that doesn’t obey this world’s rules, and are exempt from the standard life and death cycle. Some have bodies. Some don’t. Some are created inside this universe, and some come from the void. Most are harmless, but a few others can break the fabric of reality without even trying.” “Then something like Discord?” He nodded. “Discord is the strongest demon to ever manifest in Equestria, and the only one to endure every weapon ever thrown at him unscathed, save for the Elements of Harmony.” For of the other five ponies, sans Fluttershy, smiled at that. “We got him good,” Rainbow Dash said. I raised a leafy eyebrow on one of my nearby wolves. Rarity answered my unvoiced question. “We, as in everypony present excluding Clear Glass, but including Twilight Sparkle, were the most recent bearers of the Elements of Harmony, a set of magical jewels that could purify, seal away, or destroy threats. Though, we had to return them to the tree of Harmony to purge away the plundervines that attacked recently.” Tree of Harmony? Now that sounded interesting. Dangerous to me, possibly, given what I knew about myself now, but interesting regardless. I recall both Zecora and Discord mentioning it briefly, but I hadn't given it serious thought until now. “Anyway, Discord said he was reformed?” Fluttershy spoke up. “Yes. Discord and I are very good friends now. We meet for tea every week.” So she was the friend Discord was restraining himself for, which was odd considering that she sounded like she’d been involved in defeating him before. Obviously, these Elements of Harmony were a weapon, but a now defunct one. But if they really were defunct, then why was Discord so restrained? Did her friendship really mean that much to him? Possibly. Timberwolves have no concept of music, but humans do. Humans cannot split their focus, but timberwolves can maintain one distinct train of thought per puppet. Mash those abilities together and throw in some idle humming as we walked through the forest, and you have a one-man improvisational a cappella group. Well, if you can call synchronized noise music, that is. Still, my caterwauling seemed to impress the ponies enough that they walked out of my forest with smiles on their faces. I cut off the pseudo-tune when the majority of my puppets could walk no further, much to the others’ collective disappointment. “That was fun. You should practice and get better at it, Jackie. I’m sure ponies would love to hear you sing for them,” the pink pony told me after I’d sent most of my puppets back. “I’ll think about it,” I replied. “Hmph. Jackie. That’s kinda cute.” Pinkie beamed. I turned and addressed Rarity. “Could you come with me? I need to patch things up with Twilight and Spike, see what I can do about their tree,” — in that I’d try to convince them to put it down — “and then I want to talk to you about something I found that could make us both a good bit of money. Applejack, you too, now that I think about it.” “Oh, do tell,” Rarity said. “I’ve been looking to open a shop in Canterlot, and a little extra capital certainly wouldn’t hurt.” Taur crossed its thick arms over its bulky chest. “Tell me, have you heard of Eezdraug, the village hidden in the leaves of the Everfree?”