My Little Rider: Friendship is Joker

by lilAngel


Episode 5 - 'Tis the Season to B…

“Applejack!” a voice called from a window above her. The farm pony had just been hauling a whole cartload of apples to market, and she wanted nothing more than a chance to sit down and rest her weary hooves. But she recognised Rarity’s voice, a friend, and she wouldn’t keep a friend waiting whatever they wanted. “I need to check your measurements for these costumes!”

Applejack sighed, and went into the Boutique. Rarity was moving around somewhere upstairs, so she went straight to the stairs.

“Hold on!” Rarity glared, and stomped down the stairs with less than her usual grace, “You didn’t even wipe your feet! I can’t have dust from the street all over my shop!”

“You got ponies comin’ in from the street all day, that’s how shopping works!” Applejack replied, but walked back to the door and scraped her hooves across the mat in any case.

“Yes, but most of my customers are educated to a higher standard of etiquette, and haven’t been traipsing around on a muddy farm all day.”

“Well some of us got more important things to worry about than keeping the floor polished. And the farm’s no muddier than anywhere else, there’s nothing wrong with a little honest dirt, and I ain’t been on the farm anyhow! I been all morning helping Apple Bloom learn how to run a market stall, talkin’ to folks and counting apples.” Rarity gave a pause at last, her natural conflict with the friend who embodied all the things she hated (like physical labour, dirt, and nature) put to one side as the last surprise put her completely off balance.

“Isn’t your sister a little young to be working for her keep?” she raised an immaculately styled eyebrow with the question, “She’s around the same age as my sister, Sweetie Belle. Is your clan really so desperate for a few more bits?”

“She wanted to learn!” Applejack yelled so sharply that Rarity worried for a second that she might actually have pushed her friend to the point of violence. “There’s some kids at the school been picking on Apple Bloom because her cutie mark didn’t come in yet. I told her I was the last of my friends to get my mark, but she wasn’t having it. She said she wants to try something, see if she can find her talent, and she wanted to try running a market stall. I’ve got to help her, haven’t I? I don’t want her to feel like she’s not as good as all her friends.”

“That, I can understand,” Rarity lifted a tape measure over as she spoke, “You’ve told her not to worry about it, and I think you need to take your own advice. Who knows, maybe selling will prove to be her forté, and then she’d be ahead of Sweetie Belle at least.”

“Your sister hasn’t got hers either?”

“No,” Rarity shrugged, “I told her that she’s like a bolt of exquisite cloth, with the potential to be anything. She doesn’t need to worry, she’s very mature for her age, and I’m sure she will enjoy whatever talent comes her way. Who knows, maybe her talent will be in marketing too, wouldn’t that be a coincidence worth talking about!”

“Yeah, though I think Apple Bloom hasn’t found her talent yet. She’s trying hard, but I think she might have to try something else. And I can hear somepony shouting from here, so I better go check she’s not upset another customer.”

“That’s fine, I got what I need now. And good luck helping out your sister.”


“I’m beat,” Applejack declared as she half fell into the Apple family’s kitchen later in the day, “I never thought having an assistant on the market stall could make it more work.”

“And I still didn’t get my cutie mark,” Apple Bloom pouted, though she still had a spring in her step, “We’ll have to try again tomorrow, I think I nearly sold enough!”

“I don’t think I could last another day, sugarcube. Maybe you can try something else. Big Mac’s gonna be back from his trip tomorrow, and then it’s time to start bucking for the year. Maybe you can help out with the baskets?”

“Maybe my talent’s going to be bucking trees, and I’ll be able to harvest the whole orchard without any help!” Apple Bloom put her head down and delivered a dramatic two-hoof kick to the air behind her, narrowly missing a pie cooling on the kitchen counter.

“That’s as maybe, but you got to grow a bit bigger before you’re ready for that kind of work. Just leave it to me and Big McIntosh, and you can help out this year to see if it’s going to be a big piece of your future.”

“You might have to wait a while,” Granny Smith said, “I just heard from him this afternoon, your brother’s not going to be back so soon. He’s been in a fight, of all things, and injured hisself, so they put off the wedding until tomorrow. He says he’ll be home Tuesday unless they need him to help with any more repairs, but he might not be fit to go kicking trees for a while.”

“Hmm,” Applejack paused for a moment, thinking about the number of orchards in Sweet Apple Acres that were ready for harvesting, and how long into the season they would be perfectly ripe. “You ready to help in the morning, Apple Bloom? I guess it’ll just be the two of us this year.”


Early in the morning, Applejack was already beginning to regret her decision. But there was nopony else who could do the job. Apple Bloom was eager to help, lining up baskets under the trees.  She got the hang of it quickly enough, and then stood back while Applejack delivered a swift kick to the trunk, and fruit rained down into the baskets. A kick took only a second, and arranging the baskets was almost twice as quick with two, so it didn’t make much difference that Apple Bloom didn’t have the force necessary to shake apples off their trees herself.

The time consuming part, though, was hauling every cartload of apples back to the barn. They worked well as a team, making light work of the bucking, but after a few dozen trees it meant a slow round trip. Carrying more in each journey meant she didn’t have to go so often, but the weight made every step slower and  more tiring. Apple Bloom couldn’t help much with that, a filly without the muscle tone of an experienced farmer.

“The sun’s up now,” Applejack commented as she was about to set off with the next load, “We’ve been at this a couple of hours already. You enjoying the work?”

“Wow, time flies! I feel like we only just started. Do you want me to put out as many empty baskets as I can before you get back?”

“I think it’s time for you to be heading to school. Your teacher will be happy you’re wide awake already, but you’re not going to be late because of me.”

“I’m learning, though,” Apple Bloom protested, “I’m learning useful life skills, and I might be on the way to earning my cutie mark. Surely that’s more important than a bunch of lessons? I’m the only one in school who hasn’t got it yet. I don’t want to end up as some blank flank with just decent grades.”

“I cannot believe…” Applejack started, ready to give a stern lecture. But then she saw what could be a tear in the corner of her sister’s eye,  and deliberately softened her tone. “The other kids are making you feel that bad?”

Apple Bloom nodded, “Everyone else has theirs. And a couple of fillies are having a party to celebrate theirs, and I’m not even invited!”

“Now that’s just cruel. Rest assured, you ain’t the only filly still waiting for hers. Rarity’s sister Sweetie Belle hasn’t got hers either, and Rarity told her a very important lesson. Having a blank flank doesn’t define who you are, it’s like a blank canvas. You can do anything, you can be anything, and when you find something you really enjoy, then you’ll have your mark.” And then, because Apple Bloom still looked uncertain, she added: “Don’t you know Sweetie Belle? We’ll have to introduce you, you’ll feel better with a friend or two going through the same things. And if your classmates want to have a party without you, then you can have one without them. You can have your own apple pie, and we can ask Pinkie Pie to organise it for you.”

“Well…”

“Everypony knows Pinkie’s parties are the best in the world, right? So then your friends will regret leaving you out. A keeping your options open party, just for you?”

“A late-bloomer party!” Apple Bloom smiled at last, “Yeah, that’ll be awesome. And maybe my talent’s in baking pie,  or I’m even going to be a party planner myself! That would be so awesome, and I couldn’t even think about it if I was stuck with a dumb talent like being rich. Hey, can I ask Pinkie Pie to teach me how to throw a perfect party?”

“Sure,” Applejack was pleased to see her sister happy again, even if she was unsure how long this burst of enthusiasm would last, “After school. Okay?”


“Are you okay?” Fluttershy whispered as Applejack pulled herself into the Golden Oak Library around sunset the next day. She was exhausted after her second whole day of applebucking, but she was proud enough that it wouldn’t keep her from keeping her promises.

“A bit tired,” she shrugged, “I’ll be fine.”

“You don’t look so good. Maybe you should rest?”

“We need to learn to use this driver. I said I’d practise with you, and that’s what we’re going to do.” The big experiment they’d planned for this evening was determining whether Fluttershy’s wings would be able to carry a combined pony, and whether it depended on the weight of her partner. But ten minutes later, after helping Flutterjack to her feet for the third time, Twilight had to call an end to the practice.

“I think you’re too tired, AJ,” she said, “You need some rest.”

“I’m fine!”

“You’re clearly doing more than you usually do, you look so tired. I don’t know if it’s seasonal work, that would make sense on a farm, or if you’re not sleeping properly. But if–”

“I said I’m fine.”

“If you’re working more than usual, then we need to know about it. Even if you can handle it, it means we shouldn’t give you any more work to do. It’s easier on everyone if you’re doing your driver practise at an easier time of the year, and Fluttershy can practise with me or Rainbow Dash for now. Like, if this is just because there’s more needs doing on your farm right now, then you needing a week to recover from injury would be a disaster for your family. Please, just tell us what’s going on. Is it something we can help with?”

Applejack looked down at the ground, deep in thought, before she decided to give an answer.

“Okay, it’s Applebuck Season. You know what that means? Most of the orchards need to be harvested, and we got a couple of weeks to do it. We got a bumper crop this year, which is a good thing but it means there’s more to harvest as well. And my cousin Heavy sometimes helps out, but he’s got too much to do at his own place, so it’s just me and Big Mac this time around. Was fine until I heard he’s not here, so now I’m working first light to last just to get them all brought in.”

“Big Mac’s out of town?” Fluttershy gasped, genuinely surprised, “But even with him you’re rushed at this time of year. What’s he doing?”

“He went to help another farm, distant relatives having trouble. They’re expanding, but they don’t have experience running a larger distribution operation, and some of their machinery needs repairs they can’t do on their own. But now he’s got injured somehow, and they’ve asked him to stay for a wedding as well, and you know he doesn’t like to be impolite. He’ll do some when he’s back, but I don’t want to be pushing I’m if he’s hurt. And I need to check on Apple Bloom too, she’s been having some trouble.”

“What kind of trouble?” Twilight asked, “I don’t want to see your sister having problems if we can help.”

“Don’t worry, I already asked Pinkie to lend a hoof. Some kids at the school not being too nice now they got their cutie marks, Apple Bloom says she’ll do anything if it might help her get her mark.”

“Well, her special talent isn’t party planning,” Pinkie Pie answered as she came in, “But she wants to try being a DJ next, so I put her in touch with a friend who can show her the ropes. She helped me out with baking cakes, too, and I think maybe she’s better at other things, but Spike liked her muffins.”

“Well, that’s a good sign,” Twilight said, but she knew better than the others what kind of things Spike would consider eating, so his endorsement probably wasn’t the greatest  thing. “If she’s that eager to find her talent, maybe we should all help her out, trying different things until she finds it.”

“And if there’s anything we can do to help with the harvest, just let us know,” Fluttershy added, “I can ask Pinkie to help me out tomorrow.”

“No! I said I was going to help, and there’s nothing I can’t herd. I’ll work a little later tonight, then I’ll meet you at noon.”


The next day, Applejack didn’t seem rested at all. When she arrived at Fluttershy’s house, she gave a very good impression of being able to stand up with her eyes open, but it was immediately obvious she hadn’t slept.

“Are you… okay, AJ?”

“I’m fine, I keep telling everypony, I can do this! Now where’s the trees?”

“We’re herding bunnies today,” Fluttershy spoke slowly and clearly, but wasn’t sure what she should be talking about. “You remember? I need to do a census to find out how many live around here, and it’s so hard for them to stand in line. They get distracted so easily…” she trailed off, becoming even quieter than usual as Applejack started to snore.

“Don’t worry, I’ll help you out!” a call came from the road, and Apple Bloom bounded over the hill. “I’m sure I made so much trouble for all my friends, and I want to do something right for a change.”

“Apple Bloom!” Applejack shouted out, startling Fluttershy as she woke up so suddenly, “Sorry, I didn’t catch that. Are you helping out too?”

“Kind of,” Apple Bloom spoke quickly, before Fluttershy could get a word in, “I ran into Rainbow Dash, she said that the best way to find my talent is to try as many things as I can, as fast as I can. And if I can help Fluttershy with this rabbit census, then I might find out I’ve got a talent for caring for animals, or paperwork and counting, or herding, or helping out friends. You don’t mind me doing this, do you? I know you’ve got more skill with herding, but I think I can learn, and you’ve got to admit it would be a great help on the farm. Can I do this, just once? Please?”

She looked up at Applejack, pleading for a little sisterly support. It was nearly a minute before she realised the older pony had fallen asleep on her feet again.

“Applejack!” she yelled, not noticing as a couple of bunnies who’d been peering around the side of the cottage bolted back to their burrows, “Fluttershy’s asked me to help out. You need to go rest now.”

“Ah, I don’t want to get in your way,” Applejack shrugged and set off at an unsteady canter, calling back over her shoulder as she went. “An’ I got the whole of the Northwest orchard still to do.”

“I hope she’s okay,” Fluttershy mumbled at her friend’s retreating hindquarters.

“She needs sleep,” Apple Bloom said, “I’m worried about her. You know she didn’t sleep at all last night? I could hear her, out bucking all night. She’s got nearly a quarter of the crop brought in by herself, and it’s only been a few days. But I’ll be glad to see Big Mac when he shows up, I hope he can talk some sense into her.”

“I agree. So did Rainbow Dash tell you I needed help with the bunnies?”

“No, she just said I should practise with somepony else. I tried a few things, but I didn’t do so good at sports. Maybe it’s true, herding could be my thing. And I reckon in that state, Applejack would have scared half of them away, if she could stay awake at all. Maybe my talent is in bluffing and trickery, helping my family to get past their stubbornness?” she glanced back at her flank, but there was still no sign of a cutie mark. “I guess not. Anyway, let’s hunt those bunnies!”

“Oh… kay?” Fluttershy wasn’t too confident in this plan, but at least it was better than trusting her animal friends under the hooves of a sleep-deprived Applejack who wasn’t  too subtle even at the best of times.


“What just happened?” Twilight Sparkle picked herself up out of a pile of soft, white, furry bodies and looked around her. She’d seen rabbits before, quite a lot of them at Fluttershy’s house. But never so many in one place, and she’d never previously imagined them as a powerful destructive force. And this was the first time she’d seen so many in the library, or fleeing through the houses of everypony in town, or stopping to dig up gardens and eat flowers as soon as they got over their terror.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” Apple Bloom called as she rushed past, “I guess my talent isn’t in critter wrangling after all. But I’ll clear up the mess, I promise.”

“When you’re done with that,” Rarity’s head appeared from her window, “Maybe I should try teaching you something? It’s pretty clear that the things you’ve tried out so far aren’t appropriate, and Sweetie has been begging me to teach her the basics of dressmaking. I’m sure you can’t cause such chaos with a bolt of cloth.”

“Thanks,” Apple Bloom called, “But I think we’ve got this sorted. I saw Sweetie Belle on the way into town, and we think we’ve got a way to get our cutie marks that’s much better than just trying things at random. I promise y’all, nobody else is going to get hurt over this.”


“You bucked all those by yourself?” Big McIntosh was obviously impressed, but there was a note of criticism in his voice too. “You must’ve been harvesting day and night.”

“That I was. Still a lot to do, though. Are you up to joining in tomorrow?”

“Eeyup! Got a few bruises, but I’ll be kicking fine after a good night sleep. You get some rest too, you probably need it more than me.”

“I’m fine,” Applejack insisted, but she wasn’t as forceful as she’d been with her friends. “I could have done all this, if I needed to. It’s good to have you back.”

“I mean it. One pony and a bumper crop like that, it can’t be healthy.You rest now, and we’ll finish it together. Right?”


Applejack could be stubborn at times. The next morning, she was up at first light again, an hour or more before the time they’d agreed. She knew her brother was hurt, he had bandages around his neck and shoulders, both above and below the huge draft collar he always wore. So she was determined to do as much of the work as she could, and spare him some of the load.

“Big Mac!” she quickly saw that he had the same idea, hauling a cart laden with apples as soon as she got outdoors, “You started without me?”

“Eeyup! You’re tired, you need some help. I reckon I’m nearly done now.”

“We can finish this together, at least. I’m not going to be lazy just ‘cos you’re back now. Okay?”

Big Mac nodded, and Applejack ran to the barn to get her baskets. She already knew what he was going to say. She wasn’t quite quick enough, and he’d already returned to work when she got outside, so she set off up the hill to join in. She was determined that she would do a fair share of the work on this farm, and there was only one thing that could have stopped her right now. The gems on her collar lit up, casting an ice-blue light on the ground.

“Sorry, bro,” she said to the empty path, “Some things gotta come first. We can finish together later.” And she rushed towards Ponyville at a full gallop, her fatigue being blown away by the chill wind as well as the surge of adrenaline. As she ran, she knew which way to go. It was as automatic as walking the road home, and she could only guess that was something to do with the Elements of Harmony.


Rarity and Pinkie Pie were the first to arrive on the scene. There was none of the devastation that the last monster had left behind, but there were some signs of violence. It was a big house, expensive an immaculately kept, which made the scratches on the walls all the more noticeable. It looked like someone had hurled a sack of gravel at the house, with enough force to gouge chunks out of the stucco and smash every window.

There was no doubt it was a monster. Neighbours and bystanders were gawping and sharing stories of what they’d seen.

“It was a dragon!”

“It was a monster, it just swooped down…”

“It breathed fire and wrecked Mrs Cullier’s house!”

“It was a giant pegasus, a monster! Aren’t you listening?”

“Have those vandals been causing trouble again? I was in the bath, I didn’t see…”

“That house doesn’t look burned to me. Are you sure it wasn’t just someone throwing rocks?”

“I always said pegasi were too warlike, they should keep to their own neighbourhoods.”

“It wasn’t no pegasus, you crazy old coot. It had scales!”

“You’d be safer staying in the bath, a monster attacked…”

“It was a giant, and with feathers all over.”

It took around five minutes for all six of the Elements of Harmony to gather in one place. After another two, they were joined by Applejack’s siblings, both looking extremely concerned.

“Are you okay, sis? You weren’t in the orchard so I came looking.”

“I’m fine, Big Mac,” Applejack sighed, “You don’t need to babysit me. There’s been a monster attack here, so we need to work out what happened. I’ll be back on the farm in a couple of hours.”

“Are you sure you’re fine? I’m worried about what’s going to happen if you try fighting a monster half asleep. It’s not like counting bunnies or burning cakes…”

“Don’t worry,” Twilight Sparkle came up behind Apple Bloom and tried to be supportive, “Applejack is stubborn as a mule, you know that better than we do. But she seems to be more alert, and we’re all here today. Until she’s properly rested, me or Rainbow Dash will be the ones defending the city. But we need all hooves on deck to find out who saw what in a crowd this size.

“Then we can help too. Nine heads are better than six, especially when one of them is half asleep. That fine with you Big Mac? Spike?”

“Eeyup.”

“Sure,” Spike reacted without fully hearing what she was talking about, having just arrived, “But it sounds like some of these people have a… Umm, they don’t like dragons too much.”

“I think a lot of them don’t like anybody much,” Rarity confessed, “I’ve been here ten minutes, and I’ve already heard the monster attacks blamed on the Princess, on pegasus terrorists, on the poor, on tribalist unicorns, on the young, and on the growing number of bakeries in this part of town. I do believe that some ponies simply want to restore their sense of self importance by doing what they always do; blaming someone else.”

“Well, it’s  not perfect,” Twilight quickly passed out notebooks to everyone, “But we need to talk to everypony who saw something, and write down what they saw. We’ll compare notes when we get back to the library, easier than trying to get this lot to agree with each other.”

They spent an hour and a half, asking everyone who would listen their version of events. It seemed to be agreed by nearly everyone that the monster had flown in, thrown or breathed something at the nearest house, and then flown away. Beyond that, there were a dozen variations of every detail. Rainbow Dash tried flying up to see if she could catch sight of it, but it was long gone. The biggest problem was that in a neighbourhood where everypony was used to being important, it was inconceivable to have missed something that mattered. So every witness filled in the gaps by making up what they might have seen.

“I’ll see you later,” Applejack sighed, looking just as tired as she had the previous day, “I got apple trees to buck. But I promise this time, I won’t stay up too late. I need to be fresh for fighting monsters, right?”

“Thanks,” Twilight sighed, “Just next time, trust us to help you before you get into that state. Okay?”

And then there were five ponies in the library, with a vast collection of notes which might or might not be true. For a moment, maybe, some of them might have wondered if it was a task comparable to harvesting a whole apple orchard.

“I think there’s a better way to do this,” Twilight looked over the forest of notes again. “Do you know whose house that was?”

Pinkie Pie immediately started talking about the family, about their wealth and the number of  parties they could throw simply as a show of opulence. She didn’t use those words, but Twilight got the gist pretty quickly.

“Right,” she interrupted, “Then let’s look them up. Time to sleep, Pinkie.” Twilight threw the driver around her neck, and held her Element high in the air, squeezing the lever on the side to make it speak its name.

JOKER!” Pinkie’s eyes were already closed,  but the driver appeared on her neck as well as Rarity’s and Fluttershy’s as Twilight inserted the violet crystal. Then the gems on the drivers shimmered, violet and blue. In her dream, Pinkie had inserted the second crystal.

“Can you hear me, Pinkie?” Twilight asked cautiously, “Can you use the index we created to do a lookup, or do I have to come in there?”

“There’s lots of books, lots of friends, lots of ponies related to that family.” Pinkie murmured somewhat indistinctly.

“Oh, does she still talk in her sleep?” Rainbow Dash was clearly teetering on the edge of  some joke or prank, and just as obviously didn’t understand just how useful that could be.

“Search by both names,” Twilight ignored the interruption, “And the daughter too. Anyone who hated them would probably attack them individually, unless they’ve got a grudge against the whole family.”

“Sixty nine thousand, four hundred and one results.” Pinkie’s sleep-talking voice was uncharacteristically emotionless, and a little creepy when she recited numbers like that. Even Twilight was feeling uncomfortable now, and only forced herself to continue by reminding herself that this was a system she’d helped to create.

“It’s someone who has a reason to want them hurt. A grudge, or jealousy, maybe. Filter by keyword: Animosity.”

“Nine hundred and twenty two results. Ponies go to their parties because they can afford the best food and entertainment, not because they like them.”

“Right. One thing everypony could agree on, the monster flew in. Add the keyword: Pegasus.”

“Two hundred and sixty seven results.”

“And most of the ponies I spoke to said it had a blue-green coat. They couldn’t agree if it’s feathers or scales, but they probably didn’t want to admit they weren’t close enough to see. Colour, you could have an idea even from a distance. Did you get the same results on your notes?” There was a brief chorus of nods, and Twilight continued, “Add keywords: Blue or green coat.”

“Thirteen results. We can check all of them if it seems appropriate.”

“We can do better, I think. Can you check what times they work, and see if any would have been free at the time of attack?” This time there was a longer pause as Pinkie checked the information in her dream world.

“One match. Grass River, pegasus socialite. Husband is Blazing Grass, earth pony shoemaker. Daughters of the two families had some kind of rivalry, a school popularity contest, and then their parents picked up on it.”

“Right. We need to find this Grass River, then. You know where she lives? Time to wake up.”

Pinkie blinked and shook her head. A second later, the door flew open and Applejack burst in.

“We got a problem.”

“AJ? I thought you were going to harvest your apples? We can deal with this until you’re done.”

“No, Big Mac finished the harvest. Worked through the night, told everyone he was worried about me.”

“So what’s the problem?”

“This was the biggest bumper crop of apples I ever laid eyes on. He’s done more in one night than I did in three days. That’s just not possible, something’s wrong here.”

“Drugs? Magic?” Rainbow Dash guessed, “I heard you can use a spell to make yourself stronger and faster, but it’s against the law.”

“For good reason,” Twilight added, “Those spells burn out your body, give you a year’s fatigue at once. Do it more than a couple of times and it can kill you. Same for the more powerful herbal tonics, it isn’t healthy. You think Big Mac might have been desperate enough to find somepony who doesn’t care for the law or for safety?”

“Maybe,  but I don’t think that’s it. He seemed almost angry when I asked how he managed it. And while he was away he got into a fight.”

“Seriously? Big Mac?”

“Yeah. Said a distant cousin mistook him for somepony else. Even so, it’s weird if you ask me. He’s not acting like himself. I’m starting to wonder if he might have found…” she couldn’t bring herself to say it, but her eyes danced towards the basement stairs, where Twilight had been experimenting to uncover the secrets of the Gaia Memories.

“He was terribly fast getting to that house yesterday, while I assume you didn’t tell him where you were going,” Rarity couldn’t help following the thought to its conclusion once she’d started. “Maybe it’s not that, but I’m certain there’s some kind of impropriety here. The question is, what do we do about it?”

“Same as anypony else,” Applejack said firmly, “Those things twist your mind, and I don’t want to see my brother go like that. We find out if it’s true, we take him down, and we save him.”